Blame it on Texas (6 page)

He cocked his head to one side then released her. “You wound me, Shel. We’re married. We’re supposed to be on the same team.”

“We wouldn’t be married if someone would sign the papers.”

Ritt shrugged then opened the refrigerator and studied the contents. “Of course, it would be easier if you would stop hiding stuff from me.”

“I have nothing to hide.”

“Oh yeah, Miss Finalist for a James Beard Award two years running?”

Shelby didn’t know what to say. “How did you know about that?”

“I Googled you.” He emerged from the fridge with a bottle of water in hand.

“Google?”

Ritt nodded and unscrewed the cap. He took a drink then pointed the bottle mouth toward her. “You really should get out more.”

“I should get out more?” She wasn’t the one living…no, existing in Nowhere, Texas.

Ritt nodded, a smile twitching at the corners of his mouth.

Suddenly all she could think about was the night before, pressing her mouth to Ritt’s, him kissing her back, at first reluctantly, then with the same passion they had shared so many years ago. Except it was different now, with a more controlled urgency. Or maybe that was the wine.

The heat that filled her left no room for argument. She shrugged it off. She wasn’t about to get into another battle with him. He was pushing her buttons on purpose. For sport. This time she wouldn’t be a part of his game.

“You gonna call her?”

“Mom? Right. Of course.” Calling her mother again wouldn’t do any good. When Stormy Patterson didn’t want to be found, it was useless to go looking. Still, it beat the hell out of reliving last night over and over in her head.

Shelby dialed the number and not surprisingly got her mother’s voicemail. Even less of a surprise, it was full so she couldn’t leave a message. With a sigh, she hung up.

“She not answer?”

Shelby shook her head. “You know Mom.”

Ritt nodded in reply, and Shelby was proud of him for not commenting further. There had been no love lost between her mother and her husband.

The clock ticked off seconds between them. Shelby wondered if he was as caught up in yesteryear as much as she. She wanted to ask but was unable to form the words.

“Why did you come back here, Shel?”

The question was so quietly spoken that at first she thought she had imagined it. “It’s time, don’t you think?” She didn’t add what it was time for—he knew.

Ritt shrugged but didn’t meet her gaze. “I s’pose.” Then he grabbed his shirttail pulled the garment over his head.
 

Anything else she had thought to say vanished in an instant. She could only stare at the mouthwatering planes and rippling muscles of his chest. As if last night’s kiss hadn’t been enough.

Her husband seemed oblivious to her drooling as he wiped his forehead on the shirt. He wadded it in one hand and propped his fist on his hip.

“What?” he asked innocently as she continued to stare.

“I…I mean…” Before she could form a coherent thought, the shrill ring of the phone cut between them.

Shelby’s heart gave a painful thump. Ritt’s gaze locked with hers as he answered. “Hello? Slow down, Delilah. Okay.” He handed her the phone. “It’s for you.”

She pressed the receiver to her ear. “Hello?”

“Oh my gawd, Shelby! I’m so glad I caught you. I need a cake.”

“What?” Her brain was still a little fuzzy from the wine, and it had nothing whatsoever to do with Ritt’s little striptease or his thigh brushing against hers as he reached into the cabinet above her head. It was almost as if he was trying to distract her.

“The baker called. She fell waterskiing this weekend and broke her wrist. She’s in a cast up past her elbow and won’t be able to work for at least four weeks. I need a cake!”

“For the wedding?”

“Of course, for the wedding. Can you do it?”

Ritt picked that moment to move away. Shelby gulped in a big breath of Ritt-free air, clearing her head of his intoxicating presence.

“I would love to, Dee, but I don’t have any of my stuff here and—”

“I’ll buy whatever you need.” Desperation dominated her tone.

“I don’t have an oven big enough or a freezer.”

“We can use the fellowship hall at the church. Isaac won’t care.”

“Isaac?”

“You remember Isaac Yancy. He’s the pastor there now.”

Shelby didn’t have time to contemplate the fact that the wildest boy in their class was now the leader of biggest church in town.

“I’ll pay you double,” Delilah continued, “and buy all the ingredients. Please, Shel. I don’t know what I’ll do without your help.”

Of course she couldn’t leave her friend in the lurch. “I can’t promise you anything elaborate.”

“Anything is fine.” Delilah’s voice lost its desperate edge. Shelby heard her heave a big sigh of relief. “Thanks, Shel. You’re the best.”

Shelby spent the rest of the afternoon in Amarillo gathering supplies. Cake pans, flour, eggs, milk, sugar and so forth. Her plan was simple, make a test cake of her favorite recipes and have Delilah and Craig decide on which one they liked the best. Once the recipe was firm, she’d move the operation to the church kitchen and start baking and freezing.

Luckily, the guest list for the wedding was smaller than she would have thought. Cake for two hundred was a snap compared to the six or seven hundred that she had first envisioned.

Ritt was nowhere to be found when she pulled her rental into his driveway that afternoon. Lord only knew where he was. Fishing…drinking…both.

He seemed to have no ambitions, loafing about with no direction. She refused to believe that she was responsible. He had made his own choices, and she hers. She had opted to get on with her life, start a bakery, and make something of herself while Ritt…hadn’t. So he’d given up his baseball scholarship. They had all made sacrifices. Yet she didn’t understand why he seemed to not care about anything these days.

She hauled the last of the bags into the house and started putting away the perishables. The fridge was almost empty, home to a container of ketchup and a few bottles of beer.

By the time she finished unpacking the dry goods, she heard the crunch of gravel from the driveway. Ritt was home.

She was plugging her cell phone into the brand new charger when he sauntered into the kitchen.

How a man could make a ratty T-shirt and even rattier jeans look so yummy was mindboggling. Shelby swallowed hard and went back to her task.

“You get everything you needed from town?”

She nodded, avoiding his gaze. “I’ll bake tomorrow.”

“Good, then come on.”

She looked up and met his steady gaze. “Where are we going?”

“To the movies.”

“I don’t think—”

“Come on, Shelby. There’s nothing to read into this. It’s mindless entertainment. Now let’s go.”

How could she fight that kind of logic? Okay, so the truth was she didn’t want to tell him no. “All right,” she said as if the idea wasn’t thrilling. While inside her heart gave a lurch of joy.

The drive into Amarillo was short and familiar. Sitting beside him as if there wasn’t anything between them. She turned her attention to the road in front of them, though her gaze kept straying to her husband. So much was the same, the way he pushed his hair back from his face only to have it fall over his eyes once again. The way he tapped his thumbs against the steering wheel in time to whatever was playing on the radio. And so much was different. The barbed-wire tattoo that seemed to move of its own accord as his biceps flexed and relaxed. The braided leather bracelet he wore around one wrist.

Ritt pulled into the parking lot and killed the engine. “What?” he asked.

Had he known that she was staring at him, that she couldn’t take her eyes off him for more than a second?

“What are we going to see?” Shelby asked as she slid from the truck.

Ritt shrugged. “Whatever’s showing. They play classics every Friday night so there’s always something good.”

The next movie was about to begin. Ritt bought two tickets while Shelby loaded up on snacks at the concession counter.

But her heart sank as the movie started. It was a chick flick, the story of a woman so desperate to have a baby she hired her male BFF to be the father. Any other time Shelby might have enjoyed the movie, found it whimsical and entertaining, but sitting next to Ritt… More than one time before the credits rolled she had to wipe tears from her eyes. She hoped against hope that he didn’t see her cry.

The sun was setting when they exited the theater. Shelby stopped, her hand on the door handle of the old Ford while she watched the sun splash orange, pink and purple across the endless Texas sky. She had missed the wild sunsets during her time in sunny California. Everyone there thought the sun setting on the ocean was the most beautiful, but they had never seen the endless sky in Texas.

With a sigh, she climbed into the truck and tried her best not to think too much about the movie. Instead she focused on the cake she was about to decorate for her friends. But that made her think about the wedding scene in the movie and the chubby baby. Then the baby she lost and the man sitting beside her.

She chanced a quick peek in his direction. His expression was unreadable, both hands on the wheel, gaze locked in the forward position. His shoulders were relaxed, but it was too casual to be anything but a front to hide what was going on in his own mind. What good would it do to bring it up now? It was water under the bridge as they say, and she had burned that bridge a long time ago.

They rode in silence all the way back to Randall. Ritt drove through town and without a word pulled into the driveway.

Shelby picked up her purse and opened the door. “Thanks for the movie.”

“Yeah.” The one word was all he could manage through the knot of remorse in his throat.

He waited a heartbeat before following her into the house.

She was in the kitchen, staring into the refrigerator.

“Hungry?”

She shook her head. “I ate too much popcorn.”

“Me too.”

She flipped on the light and made her way into the living room. He followed behind her, somehow needing to remain connected to her. “Do you ever wonder…?” He shook his head.

“Wonder what?” She gave him a questioning look, not realizing the turmoil raging within him.

“What would have happened if…he would be in school this year, huh?” He swallowed hard against the lump in his throat.

She gave him a wistful smile. “First grade.”

He imagined himself taking a dark-haired tyke to school, Spiderman backpack on his shoulder and a Transformer smuggled in his pocket. He pushed the image away. It hurt too much.

“I blamed myself for years.” Her quiet words fell on his ears.

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“I know that here.” She pointed to her head. “But it’s hard to convince here.” She covered her heart with her hand.

Tears welled in her eyes.

“Don’t cry.” He eased down next to her on the sofa, wrapped his arms around her and pushed her head to rest on his shoulder.

They stayed that way for countless long minutes as they soaked both strength and remorse from each other. Ritt blinked back his own tears and continued to hold his wife. Hold her the way that he should have held her so long ago. But back then, full of pain and misery, she had pushed him away figuratively and literally as she tried to deal on her own.

Maybe her coming back was a good thing. Maybe now they could heal some of these past hurts. Maybe…

“I’m okay.” She pulled away from him, sending another jagged crack through his heart.

He stood and pushed his hands into his pockets to keep from reaching for her again. Pulling her close and never letting her go.

“Everything happens for a reason, right?” She wiped the tears from her cheeks with the back of one hand.

He didn’t answer, couldn’t find the reason why they lost the baby, unless it was to get Shelby out of Texas. If she had never left, then she wouldn’t have started her bakery. She wouldn’t be getting the respectability and acclaim that she deserved.

“I think I’ll take a shower.”

He nodded, still not trusting his voice. He should let her make her escape, allow the moment to pass. No sense dwelling in the past and things that could never be.

The sun had truly set as Shelby finally made her way out of the bathroom. She performed every grooming ritual she could think of in order to waste as much time as possible. Being held in Ritt’s arms was almost more than she could bear. But she had kept herself together out of self-preservation alone. Only Ritt held the power to break her heart with a look, a whisper and a touch.

She had come back to Texas for one reason and one reason only: to divorce him. Allowing herself to linger in his arms was not part of that plan.