Blake, Abby - Suddenly Bear (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) (2 page)

But then he pressed his thumb into a particularly sensitive spot, and the moan she’d been trying to deny escaped her lips, and her daily mantra dissolved into white noise in her brain.

Holy cow. Talk about magic hands. She closed her eyes, allowing herself a few self-indulgent moments as she imagined what would follow his heavenly foot rub if they were more than platonic roommates. He’d probably lean over and kiss her until the room spun, his hands roaming over her hips and spine as he pulled her closer. She could just imagine his hard cock pressed against her, rubbing back and forth, teasing her before plunging hard and deep into her dripping pussy.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Sex? Talk about sex? With Mr. Sex-on-a-stick?

She almost blurted her confused questions out loud before she realized what he meant. Talk about her day. Not sex. Shit.

“Um…no…not really. Just a shitty day.”

Understatement. But when Jayden was rubbing her feet, she could barely remember details—hell, she could barely remember her own name—so she shook her head again.

* * * *

Jayden could smell her arousal. He bit back the groan and tried to tell his cock to behave. Of course the damn thing wasn’t listening. He’d spent the last twelve months trying to control his rampaging need for this woman. Knowing that she was as physically attracted to him as he was to her, was
so
not helping his sanity.

Despite her heightened arousal whenever they were together, Violet had never once given him a sign that she would welcome more than platonic friendship from him. He shook his head and tried not to growl. Some days his uniqueness was both a gift and a curse. He knew that getting through years of medical training while surrounded by humans wasn’t going to be easy, but he really hadn’t counted on it being this hard either.

Hell, maybe it had just been too long since he’d shifted into his alter ego. When he’d shared an apartment with Violet’s ex-fiancé, he’d quite often slept in his shifted form, but he’d barely even considered it once he’d moved in with Violet. It was only now that he was realizing that it had been him subconsciously hoping for her to visit him in his bed.

“I need a glass of wine,” she said as she tried to extricate her feet from his hold. She rarely drank alcohol, and considering his previous roommate’s obsession with liquor, neither did Jayden.

“Wine sounds good,” he heard himself say. He lifted her feet up, slid out from under her legs, and headed into the kitchen. He grabbed the bottle of white wine that had been sitting in the back of the refrigerator for months, uncorked it, and carried two glasses back into the living area.

“Thanks,” she said as she took the glass and moved her legs so that he could sit beside her. She looked quite sad, and he wasn’t really certain why. He knew the anniversary of her engagement ending was coming around, but she’d spoken so little about her ex that he’d sort of assumed the man was history.

He opened his mouth to ask if she was all right, but she held the glass out and made a toast. “Happy birthday.”

Confused at first, Jayden was about to tell her that it wasn’t his birthday when his brain finally caught up. Shit. He hadn’t even given a thought to when her birthday might be. He put his glass on the coffee table and leaned over to press a soft kiss to her lips. He tried to keep it platonic but his mind and body screamed at him to deepen the contact. He pulled away almost roughly and growled the words, “Happy birthday.”

When she burst into tears, Jayden felt like the world’s biggest asshole. He gave up trying to control himself and hauled her into his arms instead. He cradled her close to his heart as she sobbed quietly.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered a few moments later as she tried to lever herself out of Jayden’s embrace. He allowed her to sit up, but didn’t let her go far. Now that he finally had her in his arms he didn’t ever want to let her go. He ran his hand through her hair, the way he’d dreamed of doing a million times. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, but she was already pulling away, and he mourned the loss even as he acknowledged he had no right to crave what wasn’t his. Violet had always drawn a very firm line for their friendship, and he’d always respected her wishes, no matter how much he’d wanted more from her.

“God, I’m so embarrassed,” she said as she shuffled over to the other side of the sofa, wiped her eyes, and tried not to look at him.

“Don’t be,” he said, trying to sound casual. “After all, what are friends for if you can’t unload a few problems now and then?”

“Yup,” she said with a half-hiccup, half-laugh type of sound. “Friends.”

“That didn’t sound very convincing,” he said, trying to hide the hurt he suddenly felt. “I mean, we’re roommates, but you know you can tell me anything…if you want. I…consider you a friend, so you know anytime, anything…anything you want to tell me I’ll…”

She snorted, and pain ran through him once more. He knew there was an age gap, one that she probably considered insurmountable, but he’d at least believed they were friends. She must’ve finally realized how her words were affecting him because her gaze flew to his, and she started to apologize.

“Oh, hell, that came out all wrong,” she said in a watery voice. “We are friends. I consider you one of my closest friends—hell, probably
the
closest friend I have. I’m just…”

When she hesitated and dropped her gaze, he leaned over and lifted her face with a soft touch on her chin. “You’re just what?”

She closed her eyes, and tears leaked down her cheeks once more.

“I’m just confused. Lord knows I shouldn’t be thinking of you that way, but shit, I just can’t seem to control whatever hormones seem to be controlling me.” Jayden sat back feeling a little stunned by her out-of-character behavior. She’d never voiced her attraction to him, had always seemed intent on denying it, yet by her words it seemed that maybe her attraction wasn’t just a physical thing. He opened his mouth to ask any one of the million questions running through his head, but before he could say anything she levered herself to her feet and began pacing in front of the television.

Back and forth, back and forth. He probably should have tried to stop her agitated movements, but words started flowing from her mouth, and once she started speaking, he didn’t want to stop her. Whatever was on her mind, at least if she had a chance to say it out loud, it might help her to deal with whatever issue this birthday had brought into focus.

“Shit. Shit! Why do you have to be such a good guy? Why can’t you be an asshole?”

He shrugged. She wanted him to
not
be nice? Okay, he was only twenty-four and didn’t claim to understand women, but he was fairly certain his mother raised him to always treat a girl with respect. Why would Violet expect otherwise?

“Fuck. You don’t get it. You just don’t get it. I’m nearly five years older than you. I’m a fucking waitress. I have no future. I’ll probably always be a waitress. I don’t even have enough ambition to want to be anything else.” She ran her hands through her hair, her irritation with the auburn curls even more obvious today than when she was cursing her uncontrollable hair in the mornings. “And you,” she said, turning an almost accusatory stare in his direction. “You! You are going to be a doctor. You’ve got your future all mapped out for you. We have nothing in common.”

Still confused, he stood and gathered her in his embrace once more.

“Don’t,” she said, even as she let him pull her closer. “We have nothing in common, and I have no right to want anything from you.”

“Tell me what you want,” Jayden said in a voice that he hoped was as confident and deep as his older brothers’.

“I want you,” she said in a voice that seemed filled with self-loathing.

“You already have me, babe.”

* * * *

Violet shook her head violently. “That’s not what I meant.” This was exactly the conversation she had been trying to avoid.

“I know what you meant.” He said it so confidently that she didn’t even try to resist the gentle hand that turned her face up to his. Jayden gazed into her eyes for a moment, perhaps waiting for her to deny what she felt. But she was so mesmerized by the deep brown of his eyes and the understanding that passed between them that she didn’t utter a sound.

And when he leaned over and pressed his lips to hers, instead of doing what her conscience screamed at her to do, she sighed into his mouth and kissed him back. She whimpered as he deepened the kiss, his tongue sweeping into her mouth, tangling with hers, exploring her intimately.

Jayden held her closer, engulfing her in warmth, and she gave in to her need to be held even as she swore at herself to let him go.

Finally he lifted his mouth away from hers and looked at her. Just looked at her like he was waiting for a sign or permission of some sort. Geez, she couldn’t do this. Nothing had changed. She was still an ambitionless waitress, and his future was bright and shiny. She had no right to be thinking the things she’d been thinking.

“Wow,” she said a little breathlessly as she pushed out of his arms. “That was one hell of a birthday kiss.” He looked surprised and maybe even a little hurt. She reached up and touched his face, whispered “thank you,” and then fled the room.

Chapter Two

Violet let herself into the apartment and stared at the empty sofa. It had been three weeks since her birthday. Three long, boring, tedious weeks since that incredible kiss, and no matter how many times she tried to convince herself it had been wrong, her body heated at the memory.

Maybe she should move out.

She toed off her shoes and sighed quietly. She had no idea what Jayden’s personal financial situation was. If she moved out, would he be able to afford the rent on his own? For that matter, would she? This apartment wasn’t exactly luxurious, but it was in a quiet neighborhood, the rent was reasonable, and it was close to work. Considering that she didn’t have a car and often worked the late shift, being close to work was very important.

She rubbed the seemingly ever-present headache at the base of her skull and tried not to give in to her emotions. She needed to think rationally, she needed to be responsible, and she needed to do the right thing by Jayden.

Still undecided, she downed a couple of painkillers in the hope of getting some relief from the headache, and then wandered listlessly through the apartment. Jayden had obviously spent some time this morning doing his weekly chores. He’d taken it upon himself to clean the apartment top to bottom every Wednesday, and he did it without fail. Considering that her last roommate believed cleaning unnecessary, or at least somebody else’s responsibility, Jayden was also the perfect roommate.

Violet flopped onto the sofa just as there was a knock on the front door. It was probably their next-door neighbor begging for another cup of sugar, or flour, or whatever lame excuse she’d come up with this time. The girl was only nineteen, and it was obvious to everyone, except maybe the man himself, that she really wanted Jayden to notice her.

Violet flung open the door expecting to see Goth-style clothing, black hair, and more piercings than Violet ever wanted to think about. But instead she found herself face-to-face with her ex.

“What do you want?” She would’ve slammed the door in his face except that he’d already stepped into the apartment.

“We need to talk.”

She shook her head. “I don’t think that’s necessary. You made your feelings for me very clear a year ago.”

“But I’ve changed.” He said it with such sincerity that for a moment she wondered if she should hear him out, but then visions of him buried between another woman’s legs flipped through her brain, and she found her resolve. Nobody was perfect, but she knew that she deserved to be treated better than the way this man had treated her.

“That’s good to know,” she said carefully, trying to be diplomatic. “I’ve changed, too.” It was stretching the truth in many ways, but she wasn’t about to admit her failings to this man.

“That’s perfect, because I want you back.” He grinned, and she had the weirdest impression that he expected her to fall gratefully into his arms.