Bladed Wings (42 page)

Chapter 7: Family Prayers

              Before Kayla got into bed that night, she held her hands together, eyes closed, and prayed in the dark. “Thank you Lord. Thank you for tonight. Thank you for my time with Seth, and thank you for giving us the strength to escape that woman. I don’t know what she wants. She wants to control me? She wants to kill me?” Kayla halted. “But we were okay, and I know you were protecting us. So thank you.” She felt the fear still at the edges of her thoughts, “Please, help us protect one another. Please Lord. Thank you Lord. Amen.”

              By morning, Kayla got out the door without any word about Friday and their hearing with the judge. Kayla’s stomach tightened each time she thought about telling a stranger who she wanted to live with. By extension, her siblings would probably get pulled along with her. Worst, she’d hurt whichever parent she didn’t choose.

              The fear of Friday fade a little when Seth came up to her. He had wanted to take her back to Davis and his grad students to check on her and make sure she was okay. He even threatened to drag her there, half-joking, but she convinced him she was fine. Besides, she’d said, she was pretty sure she could punch him out without twitching a muscle if she really wanted.

              A few minutes later, Isaac rushed over to see her. Glancing around like he was afraid someone followed  him, he walked way too fast to look normal.

              “Good,” he said as he gulped deep breaths. “You’re here.”

              “Yeah. School. Kind of required.”

              “I need your help.”

              “What’s wrong?” Kayla looked around and expected to see Sasha or some of her followers. She didn’t know if Vigo knew about that or if that was an Alliance mission. Kayla didn’t care. They almost killed Seth.

              “It’s Erin,” Isaac still sounded nervous.

              “Something happened?”

              He inhaled, held his breath for a moment, and said, “I need to know what she likes.”

              “What?”

              “I need to know what she likes. From a friend’s perspective.”

              “You don’t know?” Okay, so definitely not an emergency involving knives, blood, or bruises. She felt herself relax, everything still heightened and sharper. It was like she could feel the tingle of energy on the back of her neck.

              As they started walking, Kayla noticed some of her old friends from Youth Group. They didn’t say hi, and she ignored them.

              “I don’t,” Isaac said. “Not really.”

              “You were really sweet yesterday.”

              “That wasn’t bad,” he said. “But I’m looking for something better and I’ve been beating my head against a wall for the last two days. I need something good, something really good. Erin’s birthday is coming up, and I want it to be special.”

              “C’mon,” she said. “You’re a great guy, and you pay attention. You have to know what she likes.” Kayla didn’t want to sound mean, but it was hard with someone like Isaac. He could joke about being a jerk all he wanted, but he cared about Erin. It was obvious in the way he smiled at her, the way he talked about her, the way he walked with her.

              “I can’t think of anything. Not a single thing. So tell me what she likes. Please.” He looked desperate enough to remind Kayla of an over eager puppy.

              “Please. You’re her friend.”

              “I don’t know her that well.” Kayla still didn’t understand.

              Maybe Isaac sensed that because he decided to explain. “Look, I’m good at the PDA part. I’m the guy who can get in front of the whole school and shout how much I like her.” He shook his head, “how much I love her. But this is different, because this isn’t about me not being embarrassed. It’s about me knowing her.”

              “What do you want to know?”

              “Anything.”

              “You can’t be any more specific?” Part of her wondered what it would be like if Seth asked these questions. She imagined him over with Erin somewhere peppering her with questions.

              “Okay then,” Kayla told him. “She’s like anyone else. She likes music, movies, TV, good websites. Nothing unusual.” Making a mental note to get to know Erin better, “Just be yourself. I’m sure you’ll do great.”

              “Be yourself?” he asked. “Really? That’s your advice?” He smirked at that like he wasn’t sure if he should be annoyed or laughing. “No offense Kayla, but you sound like a PSA from the eighties. Early eighties.”

              “Hey. It’s what I’ve got.” Kayla didn’t want him to think she was wrong either. “Seriously. It’s not about what you do so much as how much effort you put into it. If you try really hard, she’ll see that and she’ll be touched.”

              Isaac watched her, skeptical. “I’m not sure I can believe you.”

              They were almost at her homeroom, but she wasn’t used to someone just saying he couldn’t believe her. “Why not?”

              “You’re one of them.”

              “One of them?”

              “Female, a girl.” He said those two words like the names of an alien species. “There’s kind of this thing where I can’t really trust you because I can’t be sure if you see the world the same way as me. You know what I mean?”

              “So because you’re a guy, you’re going to be different on some basic level?”

              “It makes sense,” he said and shrugged.

              “We’re not that different.”

              “Oh, but I think we are,” he said. They stopped outside of her homeroom just as Isaac glanced around. Kayla guessed he wanted to make sure he didn’t say the wrong thing in front of the wrong person. “The bigger problem is that we can’t even know. Our brains could work exactly the same way, but we can’t tell.”

              “What makes you think we’re that different?”

              He shrugged again. Kayla started to notice it was probably his favorite answer. “We were raised differently for one. You probably grew up on playing house, reading, or playing video games about taking care of kitties while everything I played with that explosions in there somehow. It just seems like that there’s a pretty big difference.”

              “We’re all people.”

              “But we like different things.”

              “What do you know about Erin?” she asked. “You’ve spent a lot of time with her.”

              “Yeah, I thought about it that way, and you’re right, I know a lot about her, but it’s only what she wants me to know. See my problem?”

              “She wouldn’t lie to you.”

              “No, but she might hide parts of herself, maybe play up others. For all I know, she’s really embarrassed about her hobbies. I’d like to do something special, really special. I want her to know how much I care about her.” Most guys wouldn’t have admitted. Dean definitely wouldn’t have.

              “I have to go back to that first thing,” Kayla said. “Just effort.”

              “Shotgun approach?”

              “What?” Kayla asked.

              “See what I mean?” he asked. “Guy language. Shotgun approach: I gather together every romantic fantasy and throw them all at her and hope one of them is what she wants.”

              “Every fantasy?”

              “They’re pretty standard,” he said. “Walk on the beach. Deep talks. A nice meal. Maybe a carriage ride downtown. Movie. Some present, probably a piece of jewelry. I like necklaces since rings can get creepy pretty fast.”

              “You know a lot about this.”

              Another shrug, “Why not? It’s a good skill to have.”

              “Should it be a skill?” she asked. “It’s not like you can just take what you learn from one relationship and throw it into the next one.”

              “Yeah, you really can. Work out a romantic fantasy with one girl, and it’ll probably work just as well with the next one.” He stopped. “Don’t tell Erin I said that.”

              “You don’t need to look at this like a game.” Kayla tried to sound honest and sincere. “She knows you care about her. That’s what really matters. Just be a good guy, be there when she needs you, and you won’t have any problems.”

              “You’re a good person,” Isaac told her. It almost sounded like an insult, just not quite. “Just effort?”

              “Pretty much.” She waited for the bell to ring. It wouldn’t be long before the empty halls flooded with students. She watched one boy grab some other kid’s hat and sprint off. They were supposed to be freshmen, but moments like that made her wonder if Isaac wasn’t right about guys.

              “A picnic at sunset, a movie, a walk through an orchard?” he said. “What’s best?”

              “Sounds romantic.”

              Isaac watched her like a scientist trying to figure out if his experiment worked. “I need to get some cupcakes for the picnic. Any suggestion on frosting or flavor?”

              That was one she knew. “Purple frosting. White cupcakes.”

              “You’re sure?”

              “Isaac,” she said, “Don’t worry about it. You’re a great boyfriend and I’m sure Erin knows that. Just trust yourself. Take her out, listen to her, and do what feels right. That’s all it takes to make her feel special.” The first bell rang. They’d have three minutes before another warning bell pinged. Before he disappeared between the cliques, Kayla called after him. “You’ll do great! Don’t worry.”

              Isaac stopped and turned around. It wasn’t hard to hear him over the shuffle of feet and backpacks. “Would you feel that way if it was Seth?” He smirked at her as Kayla sputtered for an answer. By the time she found something good to say, Erin’s boyfriend was gone.

              Those precious seven and a half minutes between class were always an odd combination of stressful and fun. It used to be fun because she got to see her friends. They’d say hi or spread those thirty second stories about what happened in class. That usually bordered on gossip, but Kayla didn’t mind if it didn’t get too mean. It also go stressful because it meant they had to be in class or face the wrath of annoyed teachers eager to pass out bad grades.

              On her way to second period, most of Kayla’s thoughts swirled around what Isaac said. After Dean, Kayla didn’t think she’d like another guy for a while. Maybe not until college. Then Seth popped into her life, and he didn’t care about her at first, and that should’ve proved her right. They weren’t friends and they weren’t close. It should’ve been easy.

              For the last few days, they’d gotten closer. Quickened thoughts of his arms, the heat of his body, and the way they’d feel together poked at her and warmed her at the same time.

              Through her first class, Kayla listened to the teacher. It was probably a lesson she’d need for their next test, but she didn’t hear it. It was easy to lose herself in the embrace of daydreams about the boy who showed her how to use her abilities and risked his secret to help her. She’d lied to protect him too, and now she didn’t know what she was supposed to feel about him.

              When Kayla first joined Youth Group, she looked at the different guys without feeling much. It wasn’t like there was some insane pull that yanked her into a relationship. She got close to Dean, they were friends, and they started hanging out until it felt obvious they should be a couple. No heat, no draw, she kind of fell into that. She still cared about him and still liked seeing him every day. It still hurt when he was gone, but it wasn’t like she lost herself thinking about through a class.

              This was loss. Like she got snapped up into an image of Seth. Stupid little things that might happen. Driving together, they’d get a flat. It would be late and they’d huddle for warmth. It would be her birthday, and he’d hide a rose behind his back. Valentine’s Day and he’d bring himself to buy one of those candy grams. Stupid little things, all little promises that he cared.

              Each hope depended on him caring about her too. Yes, they were friends. Yes, he wanted to understand her, but that wasn’t because he cared about her. Not really. Kayla saw into his mind, but there wasn’t some spark of interest in her past her abilities. If she couldn’t slap someone down with a thought, he probably wouldn’t care about her. Maybe he still would’ve helped her, but that was just because

              Seesawing between excited she liked him and depressed that he didn’t like her, Kayla bolted out of her first period and hoped to find something to concentrate on in her second class.

              That’s why she didn’t see Alyssa until her ex-friend almost slammed into her. Allie scowled like always but wiped that look away beneath a semi-sweet smile, the one she wore when she wanted something. Her lips were thin lines that curved up like hooks, her eyes as hard as always.

              “Kayla,” she said by way of greeting.

              “Yeah?” Kayla didn’t care about the irritation reflected in her voice Allie was supposed to be her friend. If she was going to go mean, Kayla wouldn’t pretend to be nice either. Sometimes she wished she had talons and could scratch someone’s face off, but that kind of evil just wasn’t in her.