Bladed Wings (35 page)

              “Besides, you might help advance the human understanding of the world,” Ramon said as he rolled up a stool and sat down.

              “But you’re going to destroy the records?”

              “Yes,” he agreed. Kayla watched him for a second, waiting for him to explain. He had to know that they weren’t going to advance anything if they didn’t keep the information or tell someone. It was like he didn’t see the problem, just couldn’t make the connection. “That’s what we’re going to do.” No sarcasm. Completely serious.

              “Okay.”

              “Roll up your sleeve please,” Ramon rummaged around through a drawer and started to pull out different tubes and packages. Needles weren’t Kayla’s favorite thing, so she tried not to think about them. She gave blood at the last drive and didn’t pass out. She wanted to make sure that didn’t happen again, especially because she was pretty sure Seth would hear about it.

              “Can I ask why you’re doing this?”

              “Seth said it would be a good idea.”

              “Right.” Kayla tried to think of something else as he wiped down the vein he was about to tap. The scent of alcohol stung her nose and made it harder not to think of the prick that was about to come. It wouldn’t hurt. Not really, but knowing it was coming always made her heart speed a little. “So why medicine then?”

              “I’ve always wanted to be a doctor. Played around with some other stuff like psychology as an undergrad.” He paused at the same moment Kayla felt the needle pierce her skin. She didn’t look down. “But yeah, decided I wanted to help people.”

              “Same for you?” Kayla asked with a glance over at Suzie who watched Ramon work.

              “No. For me it’s just about the money. Doctors, specialists in particular, make a lot. Better yet, they’re always going to be necessary. No matter who invades or what happens, as long as they’re someone alive, you’re going to need a doctor.”

              “That’s honest.” Kayla stopped and wondered if she said that much because that was her personality or if Seth did something to her. Eager to drop that idea, Kayla tried to think of something else as her blood bubbled with each pulse into the different tubes Ramon kept attaching to the little hose connected to the needle connected to her arm.

              After drawing blood, they started putting her in different machines. It was like she saw on TV, just smaller. The MRI machine in particular was more cramped than she expected. They told her to be still and she did her best.

              Silent, she thought through everything she would’ve said:
Okay, so I’m doing this. It’s the right decision, right? He helped me, and I need to know what’s going on, so this I the right thing to do. I know it is.

              Kayla breathed in, held it, and exhaled. There wasn’t an answer, but she settled and knew that was true. Seth helped her and she thought she could trust him. It wasn’t anything he did or said, just that instinct at the corners of her mind. It was the same way she knew right from wrong or which way was down.

              After a while, she said a different prayer: Please
Lord, help them figure out what I am.

              Darkness and cold ruled the air when they came outside again. Suzie and Ramon promised to get their results back to Seth as soon as they had them. He just nodded like he expected nothing less and opened the door for Kayla.

              “You’re doing something to them, right?”

              “You know the answer to that.”

              “I wondered if you’d lie to me.”

              “Because I’d have a good reason for how I could get a university to shut down one of its clinics and do off-the-books examinations like that? You know how much money we just blew on those procedures?”

              “Do you think they’ll learn anything?”

              “Maybe,” Seth said.

              Back in the car, Seth pulled out onto the street. Everything felt easier at night, Kayla thought. The cars went by, streaks of red and white. There was less to see, fewer people out. He missed the sunlight, but there was something nice about this too. Less clutter. Her problems felt easier. Part of that might’ve been just spending an afternoon away from the shouts at home and the cold stares at school.

              Half way back to Sacramento, Kayla pulled out her phone, nervous of what she’d find. No messages. That was good. She didn’t want to think that Skyler called her, desperate for someone who wouldn’t attack. No one called.

              “Worried?” he asked.

              “A little.”

              “Don’t worry. As near as they were able to tell, with me at least, there’s no damage.”

              “Damage?”

              “Tumors. That’s one theory about what can cause abilities like ours. Tumors grow up and do something to the brain that’s supposed to lead to mind reading, telekinesis, stuff like that. No evidence for us. That’s the good news anyway.”

              “Not what I was nervous about.”

              “What then?”

              “Nothing.”
              Kayla didn’t expect him to say anything else. He was supposed to take her back to her house and drive off into whatever life he lived at home. With a quick glance at him, she wondered what his parents thought. He had that influence over people. She wondered if he used it against his family.

That scared her, but she asked anyway. “How often do you do that, influence people?”

“It’s more than influence. I can control them. Perfectly. If I get eye contact, I can push them to do whatever I want.” He didn’t sound happy about it.

“Is that how you got me to go with you today?”

“It doesn’t work on you.”

“How do you know?”

Seth glanced over at her for a second before returning his attention to the road. “I tried after the party. I didn’t want you to say anything. It didn’t work.”

“That’s how you knew I did something special?”

“I didn’t want to believe it.”

“Why not?”

“No reason.”

Kayla frowned, “You know it’s really annoying when people do that. You can’t just say something mysterious and vague then not explain it.”

“There are some things you just don’t need to know. Isn’t that a big part of your religion?” He said those last two words like an insult. “We’re all messed up because someone decided they wanted more information?”

“It’s more complicated than that.” Seth smirked like he couldn’t believe that. “It’s true,” Kayla said. She didn’t know how far she could push him. Some people didn’t want to listen if you came off the wrong way. “Things are hard now, but we are better for it. That’s why it’s part of the plan. Originally, people didn’t know right from wrong. That’s why they made the wrong choice, but now we do. When we make the right decisions, it means a lot more.”

“Shouldn’t that go both ways?”

“There’s always hope,” Kayla said.

“A pretty thought.” He pulled off the freeway. They were almost to her house, but she wanted to stay there and talk to him. She wanted to stay out of that house. Kayla hoped she didn’t look too grateful when he asked, “You hungry?”

“Sure.” Kayla had to get away from the relief pouring through her, “You can make people do stuff, right?”

“Yes.”

              “What else can you do?”

              “I can read thoughts. Memories too, if I push hard enough.”

              “But not mine?”

              “Who knows?” he said with a half grin. He couldn’t force her to do anything, so of course he couldn’t feel her thoughts. But then she didn’t know what he would or wouldn’t tell her because he was Seth the loner who’d never trust her.

              He pulled up in front of a generic hamburger place and got out. Inside, it was warm and music piped down from the ceiling speakers. The warmth surprised her, mostly because she always expected fast food places to be air-conditioned. Even at night. In winter.

              Seth grabbed the clerk’s attention and ordered before he motioned for her to do the same. When it was time to pay, Kayla pulled out her thin wallet, but he waved her away. “I got it,” he said. He paid with a crisp fifty. The girl behind the register smiled at him, but Seth just gave a quick nod, took his paper cup, and headed for the drink fountain.

              They sat down and waited for their food. For an instant, she let herself see him. Past the remembered pains of whatever made him like this, she saw a guy who would’ve looked really good if he could smile some more. Heat caressed her face, but she let it go. This wasn’t a date. It shouldn’t have felt anything like a date except for the boy sitting across from her.

              Eyes on her, “You’re quiet,” he said. “Thinking about your friends?”

              “Something like that.”

              “Don’t worry. You won’t fight too long. You’re all Christian, dedicated to truth and love,” he made them sound like idiots. “You’ll make up. Forgive each other.”

              “You think it’s that simple?” she kept her voice low, almost sharp.

              “Isn’t it?” he asked. “You’re obligated by your faith to forgive one another. No matter what she did. No matter what he did. No matter what you did.”

              “But we’re still people. Sometimes people make mistake.”

              “Sometimes they’re hypocrites?” he asked, both eyebrows raised.

              “We’re people.”

              “People with certain beliefs. Those beliefs lock you into certain actions.”

              “You don’t believe in anything?”

              “Let’s just say I haven’t had a lot of encouragement. Sometimes ideals don’t look very smart,” he said. Seth took a sip of soda, eyes on her the whole time. She thought she was being poked and tested. He wanted to know how far he could go.

              “If it makes people happy and better, you think it’s still bad?” Kayla asked.

              “I think it’s a bad idea to pretend the world is nicer than it really is.”

              “Unless we’re right and you miss out on something really beautiful.”

              “God’s love?”

              “Yes.” Kayla leaned forward a little. She wanted him to hear her for this part. It was everything she believed, everything she felt, and she wanted him to understand it. “It’s there if you look for it. If you’re open to it.”

              As Seth watched her, she thought he might snap back with something snide. He hid a huge part of himself, she thought. It made sense he wouldn’t want to trust her or anything else, no matter how good it would be. Again, she wondered what happened to him. “You really believe that.”

              “I do, because it’s true.”

              “I’d like to believe you.”

              “Then why not?” Kayla asked. “You should try it. Open yourself up.”

              “Pray?” he smirked like that had to be a joke.

              “I’m serious.”

              “I’m sure you are. But that’s the thing about religion, ideals, all of that stuff. It only makes sense when it makes sense for you and your life. Grab someone else and it wouldn’t mean anything.” He took another sip, “I commend your beliefs.” He held up his soda, a mock toast.

              “It bothers you that people have faith?”

              “Have you done anything evil yet?” Seth asked. He had his hands on the table, back straight, as he watched her. “Something genuinely terrible?”

              “I’ve made mistakes.”

              “Exactly. Maybe you stole some candy or got caught trying to cheat, but I’m willing to guess you’ve never done anything truly evil. You’ve never wrecked a life. You’ve never given that person a wound to carry for the rest of their life.”

              “Like you’ve killed someone?”

              “Of course not,” he said a little too fast. “I’m sorry if I’m harsh. I don’t mean to be disrespectful, especially considering that I still want your help.” He bit a fry in two, “I still want to know what we are. You might be an important part of that.”

              “You don’t think those tests will work?”

              “They might,” Seth said. “But they depend on the assumption that our technology is sufficiently advanced to figure out what’s going on. It might be that there’s something so complex that we just don’t have the science to figure it out.” He shook his head, “It might be like a Roman trying to understand a genetic disorder.”

              “So it’s scientific?”

              “That’s my only guess.”

              “It could be something else.”

              “What?” he asked, “Aliens?”

              Kayla smiled, “No. Maybe it’s different. Have you ever thought this might be a miracle?”

              “These abilities are a miracle?”

              “It makes sense. We can’t explain it. Your doctors weren’t able to figure it out.”