Blackout: Stand Your Ground (5 page)

Out here killing folks just because the verdict wasn’t what you wanted it to be for the Trayvon case! You’re not making things no better for black people boy! You think you’re doing some big shot shit don’t you? Out here killing people! You and that damn woman you’re with have turned into serial killers! And you thought it was cute!

           
I’ll show you what’s cute! Get y’all cute asses out of my fucking household. Don’t you ever in your life think I’m going to do prison time for some stupid ass shit like hiding y’all in my motherfucking house! I worked hard labor to get this house boy! I struggled and put in blood, sweat, and tears in order to pay for my home!”

           
Jawan
shook his head and closed his eyes as he listened to his uncle go on a rampage about his house. In that one moment, the memory of
Meesie’s
words came running across his mind. He looked at his fiancé to see her reaction, but she was staring at the wall. His heart smiled right then because he knew she could have easily made him feel worse. She could have easily have poked her finger in his face and said “I told you so
Jawan
,” but she wasn’t like that.

           
He knew that he had made the correct decision when he made
Meesie
his life partner. It was something that he would never have to question.
Meesie
was the only lady who was willing to stay by his side through all of his anger issues in the past, and here she was; pregnant, riding with a serial killer, and still down for her man. He loved her to death and beyond.

           
“
Unc
, please…
Meesie
is pregnant, and we just need a few more days to get ourselves together. I’ll turn myself in eventually but-”

           
“You’ll do no such thing
Jawan
!”
Meesie
screamed abruptly. “You said you were standing your ground, then you stand that shit! We won’t be folding for nothing or nobody! I’m not going to sit around and let you empower me and then fold when it’s time to put up or shut up! I picked a strong man, and by God; you’re going to be strong
damnit
!”

           
Jawan’s
eyes widened as he stared at the love of his life. He had long thought that his words flowed in one ear and out of the other one when he spoke of injustice. He had never known her to be empowered by any of his speeches and rants, but listening to her speak had just changed his entire perspective of her.

           
“Wow.”
Jawan
said as he stared at his fiancé. Her bottom lip was trembling and her arms were shaking as she stared back at her lover. He had never seen her as emotional as she was at that very moment. It was a sight to behold. Something that he wished that he could package up and carry with him in his casket and to his grave. It was everything that a man could ever ask for out of life.

           
It was real love.

           
“I don’t give a fuck about you two and that powerful, strong, and above the law
shit
; but I tell you motherfuckers what! Y’all got approximately 60 seconds to get the fuck outta my house or I will be calling 911 on y’all asses.”

           
Jawan
stared at his uncle with a confused look on his face. He would have never thought his uncle would have turned on him like that. He had always looked up to him. His uncle was his father’s only living brother!

           
“
Unc
… you always told me how much you hated these fuckin’ white people for killing your brother. You
always
told me that you would go crazy if you got the chance to avenge your brother’s death! They killed my daddy
Unc
! They killed your brother, and here you are trying to turn in your brother’s son and fiancé for killing them in return?

           
I don’t understand you at all! How you preach to me about black power all of your life, and as soon as I show you some of the power you told me about; you
wanna
turn me in? Whose side are you really on
Unc
?”

           
Jawan’s
uncle stood up and walked to the kitchen. He grabbed the cordless phone and turned it on. “
Jawan
! You listen to me closely! Your father being killed back in the day was a misunderstanding! That white man didn’t
mean
to kill your daddy boy! They thought he was a burglar and they killed him. They had every right to do that! You didn’t have no right to kill
any
of them good white people that you killed!

           
You and that broad you’re with… she’s bad luck boy, and she’s going to drag you into the mud with her. You should know when you’re stepping into some deep shit because you won’t be able to see your feet anymore… and when you can’t see your feet, you become unsure of your steps!”

 
          
His uncle turned the phone off and turned it back on. He placed it to his ear to see if the dial tone was there or not.

           
“What the fuck are you doing
Unc
?”
Jawan
screamed as he stared daggers through his uncle.

           
“Nigger, you know what I’m doing! I have already told your ass that you had 60 seconds to get the fuck out of here and you’re still in my household like you’ve been invited! I’m calling the police!”

           
Jawan
pulled his pistol out and aimed it at his uncle. “Wait! We’ll leave… no problem. But slide the phone across the floor first. We don’t need the police knowing where the fuck we’ve been! Give me the phone!”

           
Jawan’s
uncle shook his head. “So you’re going to shoot me if I don’t give you this phone?”

           
“Stop asking me questions and slide the damn phone
Unc
!”
Jawan
hollered, losing patience.

           
Jawan’s
uncle produced a sly smirk as he slowly bent down and slid the phone over to him.
Jawan
reached down and picked the phone up off of the floor, and nearly pissed in his pants. His uncle had used speed dial to call 911, and they had been on the telephone listening for the past few minutes. He hurriedly turned the phone off, but he knew that it was too late. 911 would dispatch officers in no time, and he would be trapped if he didn’t leave soon.

           
“Damn
Unc
! I thought you loved me! I thought you loved me the way my father would have loved me if he was alive! You always told me that! You’re my own flesh and
blood
Unc
! I
never
would have expected you to double cross me!
Never!”
Tears welled up in
Jawan’s
bloodshot eyes as he stared at his uncle in disbelief. His uncle had a big smile on his face, almost like he was on the verge of laughing out loud.

           
“So what? You
gon
shoot me or what boy? I ain’t never even believed that you belonged to my brother! That bitch of a mama was a slut back in the day! Shit, I know plenty people who could be your daddy there boy. I was only being polite because I didn’t
wanna
hurt your young feelings.”

           
Jawan
lowered his gun and stared at his uncle in disbelief. He turned and faced his fiancé, who had tears in her eyes as well.

           
“Come on
Jawan
, let’s go baby.”
Meesie
said as she walked over and grabbed his arm. She pulled him and saw that he was falling deeper into a trance. She got nervous because whenever he fell into a trance, he always stood the risk of having a seizure; and a seizure was the last thing she needed right then in the heat of the moment. The police were on the way, and his uncle was on the enemy’s side.

           
“Bitch you should have known not to come over my got damn house. You know I know your secret!”

           
Immediately
Jawan
jerked his arm away from
Meesie
. “What fuckin’ secret? Huh? What motherfucking secret? You against me too? Is everyone in the fuckin’ world against me? What the fuck is the secret!” He yelled as he twirled the gun from his uncle to
Meesie
and back to his uncle. “Tell me the secret motherfuckers!”

           
His uncle continued to smile as if it was the funniest thing in the world. “Yea, tell
Jawan’s
lovey
dovey
ass the secret
Meesie
! Don’t be scared!”

           
“I have no secret
Jawan
!”
Meesie
said aggressively as she approached
Jawan
. “You have to trust me baby! He’s trying to break us up, and has been trying it since he tried to fuck me a couple of years ago! He always-”

           
“Wait! Wait! How come I’m just now finding out about all of this? Why are you just now telling me?”
Jawan
screamed.

           
“Because you thought highly of him, and I didn’t want you to be disappointed,
Jawan
! I’m so sorry, but I have never trusted your uncle, and now you see why!”

           
Jawan
turned around and stared at his uncle. He shook his head, and lowered the gun. He grabbed
Meesie’s
arm and pulled her. “Come on, let’s go baby.”

           
It took all of
Jawan’s
willpower to not blow his uncle’s brains out for everything he had said and done. As much as he wanted to fight for equality and black power, it always seemed like it was his own kind who did his race the most injustice. It was black people selling the crack to other blacks, and black gangs killing other black gangs. It was black people provoking and pushing other black people’s buttons. He hated the cycle, but there was nothing he could do about it.

           
“I’m driving!”
Meesie
said as she opened the driver’s side door. “Hand me the keys until I can figure out how I’m going to get your seizure medicine baby. You know I’m really worried about you right now.”

           
Jawan
got into the car and put his seat belt on. He scratched his head and wiped his eyes. He looked at
Meesie
as she put the car into gear and maneuvered out of their uncle’s driveway. He was glad that he hadn’t put the car into the garage, because then his uncle probably would have tried to lock them in. Out of anger, he pointed his pistol outside the window and aimed at the house.

           
“Wait
Jawan
! Don’t waste bullets!”
Meesie
screamed. “Give me the pistol! Now!”

           
Jawan
pulled the pistol back inside the car and sat back against the seat. He switched the gun from his right hand to his left hand, and suddenly a seizure overtook his body. He started writhing and shaking uncontrollably. Foam was seeping out of the corner of his lips and his body was jerking without rhythm.

           
“
Noooo
!
Noooo
Jawan
!
Noooo
! Oh my God!”
Meesie
screamed as she ducked and dodged in her seat from the pistol that he was holding.

           
Without warning, a shot went off; and blood splattered against the passenger side windshield. Then another shot went off, and the gun hit the floor.
Meesie
dived down and picked the pistol up so that
Jawan
wouldn’t be able to reach it again. She pulled the pistol back to her side of the car and leaned back so she could see what was going on.

           
Tears were falling out of her eyes, and although she didn’t have seizure problems; her body was shaking as if it were a part of his.
Jawan
finally relaxed until he was crouched over on the seat. She looked to see where he had shot himself and saw only a flesh wound in his right arm. The bleeding was intense, however; and she knew that she would have to make a decision soon regarding the health of her fiancé.