Black Beans & Vice (7 page)

James indicated his protruding belly. "But video games aren't
bad for your health. Being sedentary is, yes, but you boys get plenty
of exercise. I need to do this so I can live a fuller life with my son."

Scott nodded. "For what it's worth, Francis and I think it's really cool of you to give this alternative treatment a shot" He fell
silent for a moment and then began brushing the flecks of sugar
from his shirt. "You've given me something to think about too.
Maybe I'm not living a full life either. Francis has been spending
more and more time with Willow and they're super happy together. I think they might be the real deal. But me? I waste countless hours trying to complete missions with a bunch of online
friends I've never met face-to-face"

"It's a hobby. I don't see any harm in that," James replied kindly,
but Scott remained rather distressed.

"But life's about making connections," Scott continued. "For
example, there's this person I team up with every night. She even
lives around here somewhere, because her User ID is Shenandoah
Shutterfly. For an entire year we've sent instant messages about all
kinds of stuff, but I don't even know her name."

"Can't you just ask?" James inquired.

Scott shook his head. "That would be poor gaming etiquette,
Professor. We're all on there pretending to be brawny barbarians
or powerful mages. For example, I've never told anyone I'm a librarian. I've got to stay in character. When I'm playing I become
Fitz the Fierce!" He brandished his right arm as though it held a
sword.

"Excuse me, Fitz the Fierce," a middle-aged man carrying a
thumb drive interrupted. "Could you help me with the computer?
I keep on tryin' to open a file and the danged thing won't let me"

Smiling, Scott jutted his arm forward again. "Lead the way, sir.
No stubborn Word doc or paltry PDF can withstand the lightningquick fingers of Fritz the Fierce!"

Between the chocolate-glazed Krispy Kreme and Scott's playacting, James discovered that his bad mood had been wiped away
like the powdered sugar from his employee's shirt.

James opened the blue front door of A Better State of Mind's office
at half past five that afternoon. He was too nervous to read the selection of magazines stacked on the end table, so he merely sat on
the sofa and stared at the bowl of purple crocuses on the credenza
near the door.

Skye appeared a few minutes later, carrying a CD in her hand.
"Hello, Mr. Henry. Would you like to settle up before your session
begins?"

"Sure" James pulled out his wallet and handed Skye a credit
card. "Is my friend Bennett in there now?"

"No. He switched appointments with Ms. Perez. She and Harmony have just finished, actually. I just need to label your friend's
nighttime CD and then it'll be your turn." She smiled in encouragement.

"I guess you hear many interesting things working this job,"
James remarked as Skye ran his credit card.

She swiveled abruptly in her chair, her eyes stormy. "I don't listen in on Harmony's sessions, Mr. Henry! They are strictly confidential!"

"Of course! I didn't mean to imply..." he trailed off, feeling
moronic. He was relieved to hear the sound of Lindy's voice. She
called out "thank you," from farther down the hall and when she
entered the reception room, she seemed calm and slightly groggy.
"How was it?" he whispered anxiously to her.

"Great" Lindy's voice was soft and relaxed. "I feel like I had
a long nap, but I heard every word Harmony said." She touched
James on the arm. "You're gonna be just fine."

Lindy collected her CD from Skye, and James noticed that his
friend continued to speak using a slow, sleepy voice, as though her
tongue could not move any faster.

James would have liked to ask Lindy more questions but Harmony glided down the hall. Smiling, she greeted him and asked
him to follow her. After giving Lindy a nervous wave, he walked
down the hall and into a dimly lit room. As his eyes adjusted, he
noticed that a large indigo sofa and a beige recliner took up most
of the space. Several small lamps sat on side tables covered with
butter yellow cloths. Watercolors of lush gardens hung in a set of
three above the sofa, and a pair of midnight blue curtains covered
the room's large picture window.

Expecting he'd be lying on the sofa, James was just about to
stretch out when Harmony gestured toward the recliner. "Clients
are usually most comfortable in the recliner."

As soon as James sat down, he began to relax. He pushed against
the chair back and the footrest gently popped up. Harmony reached
into a nearby cabinet and removed a cotton throw. She handed it
to James. "I keep it a little chilly in here. If you're under a blanket, it
helps your body believe that it's rest time."

The blanket smelled of lavender and laundry detergent. James
spread it over his legs and wriggled farther into the chair's yielding cushion. Harmony switched on her CD player and the sounds
of instruments and wind chimes piped through the speakers. It
wasn't exactly music, as there wasn't a clear melody, but the noises
were very tranquil. James recognized the sounds of flutes, running water, and occasionally, the chirping of birds and the gentle clanging of a small metal gong. The overall effect was the feeling of being at repose in some isolated Japanese garden.

"Let's begin by taking several deep breaths." Harmony said.
"Breathe in through the nose and out the mouth. One. That's
good. Two. Annnnd, three." She smiled as though James had accomplished a great feat. "Well done. Now, if you feel comfortable,
go ahead and close your eyes."

James was delighted to oblige. Suddenly, the idea of spending
an hour in the recliner, listening to the soothing music and Harmony's melodious voice had become very attractive.

"I'd like you to allow your body to become very heavy," Harmony directed quietly. "Your muscles are going to relax. Your body
doesn't have to work any more. Imagine instead that you're on a
lounge chair by a pool or perhaps by the ocean. There is a gentle
breeze blowing across your face and you feel very warm and very
relaxed."

Snuggled in his blanket, James did feel warm. He gave his shoulders leave to sink farther into the chair cushion.

"Now imagine a current of warm air flowing down your body
starting with the top of your head. As it moves down your face,
to your neck and your shoulders, you can feel any tension, any
stresses or worries that you might have walked in with today just
melt away."

For a moment, his concerns about Eliot, finding a replacement
for Mrs. Waxman, and Murphy's return flitted through his mind,
but he turned away from those thoughts and centered his atten tion on the vision of a sparkling ocean lined by a pristine white
beach and a few stands of palm trees.

"Now the warm, gentle flow of air moves down your arms and
down each and every finger. It flows across your chest, over your
stomach, over your lower back and your hips, and down each leg.
As it moves you feel more and more relaxed, while your mind stays
focused on the sound of my voice." She inhaled deeply. "And now,
as that air moves over your calves and your feet, let any impurities
or anxieties flow out with it through your toes. Let your body rest.
It feels very heavy in the chair, but your mind is very clear; it is actually at a heightened state of awareness."

It was true. James felt as though he had never possessed such
mental focus before. He was certain that, if asked, he could suddenly solve complex mathematical algorithms or balance the library budget without a calculator. He believed he could recite every Shakespearean soliloquy he had made his students memorize
when he'd been a college professor.

"Take your mind to that pool you've been sitting beside," Harmony continued in her lulling voice. "There's a set of steps leading
down to the pool. The water is very warm and inviting and there's
a floating lounge chair waiting for you. Try to picture this peaceful
place in your mind. Nod if you can see it."

James nodded.

"Okay, now you're going to walk down those steps slowly, one
at a time, as I count backward from ten. With every step, your body
is going to become more and more relaxed. Ten ... nine ... eight ...
seven ... six ... five ... four ... three ... two ... one. You can rest on
that float now, James."

He could practically hear the water lapping at the side of the
pool. The sun bathed him with its gentle, nourishing rays and the
faintest of breezes cooled his heated skin. It was paradise.

"James" Harmony's voice drifted to him across the pool. "I
want you to ask your mind to give up this craving for sugar. I want
you to pretend that your mind looks like the inside of a control
center. I want you to climb up a ladder into the middle of that
control center."

Reluctantly, James switched his visual away from the pool and
focused on a wooden ladder.

"You're going to climb up into a room. It's filled with lots and
lots of lights. There are lights of every color and there are switches
all around you. Walk around your brain's control center and observe it carefully."

Harmony was right. There were buttons and levers and switches.
Rows of bare bulbs dangled from the ceiling and the whir of machinery filled the air. Despite the sense of endless industry, the room
was neat and tidy.

"Look at the switch closest to you," Harmony commanded
firmly. "Put both hands on the switch. This is the machine that
sends your brain a message that you want to eat sugar. You're going to turn it off, James. And as you do so, tell your brain that you
don't want to crave sugar anymore. You're turning that craving off
for good right now. Go ahead and do that, James."

Reaching both hands forward, James gripped the metal level
and pushed it downward with all his might. He whispered the orders Harmony had given him to his brain and felt a surge of accomplishment rush through him as he silently and sincerely urged
his mind to believe what it was being told.

Next, Harmony directed him to return to the pool. She repeated over and over that he no longer needed sugar, that he was
free of his addiction to the substance, and that he'd been released
from his craving. Eventually, she led him back up the stairs from
the enticing water and asked him to open his eyes.

"That was amazing!" he croaked. "I saw everything as if I actually experienced it! The pool, the float, the control center. But the
session was so brief. Are you sure it can work that rapidly?"

Harmony laughed lightly. "Most people lose all sense of time
when they're in a highly relaxed state. How long do you think
we've been in here?"

James eased himself upward and shrugged. "Twenty minutes?"

"Try fifty minutes," she answered with a smile.

"Wow," he said breathlessly. "So what happens next?"

"You must listen to your CD every night." She held his gaze.
"The reinforcement is very important, James. Please don't skip any
nights, especially since we've only had one session together. When
I see you next Monday we'll see how things are coming along."

James collected his CD from Skye and lazily walked to his
Bronco. At home, he ate a healthy meal of roasted chicken breast,
green beans, and brown rice. When he opened up the freezer to
get some ice cubes for his diet Dr. Pepper, he glanced at the pint
of Caramel Crunch ice cream and waited for the desire to compel
him to reach for the carton.

"I really don't feel like anything sweet," he stated in astonishment. He then dug out a package of Eliot's snack-sized Oreos, a bag
of chocolate-chip morsels, a tin of candied pecans, and a Charleston Chew that he kept hidden in the freezer for an emergency. He examined each of the goodies for several moments, but nothing
happened. He didn't want to eat any of them.

Staring at the food, James shook his head in disbelief and, for
the second time that evening, breathed out an amazed, "Wow."