Bittersweet Symphony (The Damaged Souls series Book 2) (15 page)

It was how I imagined my heart looking at the moment—fragile, but still very much beating—regaining its strength to continue loving.

“I’m glad you listened. I know how stubborn you can be.” There was that glint of humor again.

“I couldn’t stand seeing my mother cry, knowing I was the cause of it.” To this day, the mental picture of her tear-stained cheeks, hands wringing in front of her as she pleaded with me to stop being destructive, haunted me.

I had a lot to atone for.

“It pains my heart knowing how deeply this hurt you, Cooper. I wish I’d been there to help, to somehow make you see that surviving that horrible day wasn’t a crime. I know Owen wouldn’t have left your side until he was convinced you believed it. I’m so sorry you had to go through it.”

Her admission made me choke, my eyes widening. “Are you for real, Caylee? Because I swear, sometimes I’m not sure if you are.” I scooted up so I could rest on an elbow, my other hand stretched out to cup her face. “How can you be here with me . . . like this?”

“I don’t know why you feel you’re so unlovable. I’m here because I can’t imagine myself being anywhere else. I’m here because I see beyond all these flaws you keep trying to convince me exist to the heart of a man who’s sacrificed so much.” When she finally glanced up, the fierceness in her eyes humbled me. “I’m here because I love you, Cooper Hensley. I don’t care that it took tragedy to bring us together. Do I hurt that Owen’s not here? Yes. Sometimes it’s hard to breathe when I remember all the unfulfilled dreams we had, knowing that I can never go back and change the past. But does that alter how I feel about you? Not in the slightest. I believe in us. I believe in who we can be together. So while it hurts sometimes when you try to keep me at arm’s length, I would rather be held there, than nowhere at all. You’re worth fighting for. I will always fight for us.”

She rendered me speechless. Honestly, there wasn’t a damn thing I could say that would capture the sentiment churning inside me.

She made me want to be a better man. Cliché or not, it wasn’t enough to simply coast through life anymore.

“Caylee—” My voice cracked with raw emotion.

“I know, Cooper. I know.”

“I just—” There was no speaking around the boulder-sized obstruction I desperately tried swallowing.

“And as crazy as this sounds, thank you. I know how hard it is for you to talk about this. Hearing you share how much this has affected your life, not even really discussing the details of that day . . . I don’t need to know them now. It’s enough because I can rest easy knowing Owen didn’t die alone. He had family—you, there with him.” It was her turn to pause as a thickness filled her own voice. “I don’t have to worry anymore. I can also let him rest in peace.”

“You too?” I asked.

She laughed out loud, the sound music to my ears. “You’re not the only one who’s a master at torturing themselves. Just some of us hide it better, is all.” When she winked, I pulled her to me and claimed her mouth.

The kiss that followed all but bordered on the indecent.

“So,” Caylee purred when our lips finally broke apart. “I think it’s only fair that you get to ask me a question in return. Make it a good one, okay?”

“Hmm.” I chuckled, cocking my eyebrows as I contemplated what I wanted to know.  Now that we’d emerged from the end of a serious conversation, I wasn’t eager to remain there . . . or return to that heaviness. “Well, seeing as how we’ve been talking about tattoos and scars.” My gaze lifted and I tapped the center of her brow with my finger. “I’m curious to how you got this one.”

This made her grin. “I was wondering if you were curious about it.” With all the pride she could muster, Caylee adopted a storytelling façade. “This scar is the result of one stitch and an early lesson on the evils of boys.”

Whoa. Did she say boys?

“I was about seven or eight years old and loved playing outside with friends I’d made in the apartments we lived in. It wasn’t uncommon for me to go racing out after breakfast and spend the entire day running around the neighborhood exploring and getting into mischief. This particular day, my mom decided I needed to stay inside, despite my earnest protests that I didn’t want to. My friends, both boys, were waiting for me and there was no way I was going to be trapped inside, missing out on fun.”

“I’m sensing that stubborn streak of yours goes all the way back to your childhood, sweetheart,” I teased, loving the way she lit up. I could almost imagine how adorable she was then—even as jealousy stirred over not being there to witness it personally.

“You have no idea. I’m sure I drove my parents crazy,” Caylee admitted.

“So, what happened?” I prodded.

“Well, my mother said no and I said yes. She reached to pull me into the house, and the brat I was, I ducked underneath her arm and smacked my head into the side of the doorframe. Busted the skin open. It wasn’t until my dad came home and found me in timeout on the couch, Band-Aid over the gash, that we went into the ER.”

“And now you wear it like a badge of honor.” It was more a statement than a question.

Caylee winked. “Of course. It’s a permanent reminder that even back then I wouldn’t take no for an answer, so consider yourself warned.”

When she pointed at me for extra emphasis, I grabbed her finger, pulling her on top of me. “Oh, that doesn’t bother me. I kinda like being in love with someone who knows what she wants.” I pushed aside her hair again so I could see her features better. “Someone equally stubborn as me.”

“I’m guessing there’s more to that, Mr. Spit-It-Out.”

“What concerns me are these boys.” I narrowed my gaze, trying me hardest to appear stern. “I hope you’ve learned your lesson not to trust them.”

Her laughter filled the air like a soothing elixir. “Last time I checked—” Caylee’s head ducked a little, her gaze dropping between us. “You were a boy.”

“Like freaking hell, darlin’,” I roared, suddenly indignant, even as I watched her smirk cheekily. “I am all man. Do I need to prove it again? Because I’m determined to keep you in this bed until all doubt is removed. Just say the word, Caylee.”

“And what word is that?” God, I loved the way she had me wrapped around her finger.

“Looks like you’re needing another lesson.”

“In what? Dorky boyfriends?”

“No, obedience,” I fired back, knowing the second she’d realized what I’d said by the way her eyes flared in battle. This was a side to Caylee I enjoyed antagonizing. Good naturedly, of course.

“You did not just say that!” Her hand came down hard as she slapped at me.

“Need me to say it again?” In slow motion, I kept talking, knowing that it would make her even feistier. “Ob-ed-i-ence.”

“I’m going to make you regret that, you jerk!”

“Then do your worst.”

And no matter what she did, or the things we did together, it simply made me want her more.

Chapter Sixteen

Caylee

“If she doesn’t wake up in the next five minutes, I can’t be held responsible for what I’ll do.”

Even partially asleep, I didn’t need to open my eyes to know Rebecca was probably jumping out of her skin with impatience. I was tempted to keep quiet and savor the last glorious seconds of snuggling beneath my blankets.

A part of me also wanted to see exactly what my roommate was threatening. The girl couldn’t harm a fly if she tried.

But all of that was irrelevant as a greater realization slammed hard into me . . . who the hell was she speaking to?

Only then did I sense there were more than two of us in the room. It was with that knowledge that my eyes flew open.  Sitting, I scrambled toward my headboard, clutching my bedding to my chest as though it had miraculously transformed into a shield or bulletproof vest.

Rebecca stood grinning, beside Marty—the first time he’d ever been inside my bedroom. My sigh of relief came naturally because I’d cleaned up earlier, any embarrassing or blackmail worthy information hidden from Marty’s inspection.

Something told me that he was exactly like his girlfriend—nothing was off limits when it came to an impromptu tease.

All of that evaporated, however, when I peered up to find Cooper lightly leaning against the edge of my sturdy bedside dresser. The corners of his blue eyes crinkled with affection, and without uttering a word, I could almost hear his thoughts say,
“There you are. Good morning, sweetheart.”

“Questions. Two of them,” I exclaimed, holding the appropriate fingers up. “First, why are you all in here? And more importantly, how long have you been standing there watching me sleep?” Shaking my head, I alternated my focus between the three of them, all while I bit the inside of my cheek in an attempt not to bust out laughing. The looks on the guys’ faces were priceless—a mix of
oh shit,
a rising need to fix the situation as quickly as humanly possible, and topped with a heaping dollop of guilt.

Lucky for them, I didn’t want to take advantage and make them give me everything I’d ever wanted as penance. If I did, there was no doubt in my mind it would work based solely on their uncertainty and current desperation.

Except for Rebecca.

She’d known I was kidding before the words had even left my mouth.

“You’re so full of crap, Ms. My-Nose-Is-Growing . . . Ms. Pinocchio! Here you are yelling at us, all because we came with
uber
good news and you—” Rebecca jabbed the air, pointing to me. “—were the one sleeping.”

“My feelings are hurt,” Marty sniffled, pretending to wipe away tears.

“Did I hurt your feelings, too?” I asked Cooper. “Or is it only Marty that isn’t wearing his big boy panties?”

Rebecca gasped. “Oooh, burn! Our Caylee is snarky when she’s just woken up.” She tapped her boyfriend’s chest sympathetically. “Want me to kiss it better?”

“Shit!” Cooper exploded, standing in a hurry. “Can we at least tell her why we’re here before you two suck face more?”

My eyes widened. “More?”

He snorted in response. “You seriously don’t want to know. I wish I didn’t know.”

“I told you to knock, bro,” was all Marty said and chuckled.

Listening to them banter back and forth, it gave me a chance to quickly drag my fingers through my hair, untangling any bed-head knots.

A screeching whistle threatened to burst my poor eardrums as Rebecca waved her hands between Marty and Cooper.

“Um, hello, guys? We’re not here to mess around. Be serious for once.”

It was impossible to miss the almost twitch-like convulsion as she struggled to keep a straight face . . . that and the waves of hypocrisy coming off her like a tsunami.

“Sure, sure, Miss Kettle,” Marty snorted, affectionately kissing the side of Rebecca’s head. They’d dated long enough for him to recognize all the nuances of her personality.

“Anyway,” Cooper continued before turning his attention to me again. “Get up! We’re going on a surprise road trip and all you have to worry about is getting dressed. Troy and Aidan are out getting gas for the cars and making sure we have plenty of snacks.”

“And I’m responsible for packing your overnight bag!” Rebecca exclaimed, rubbing her hands together in pure delight. Casting a pleading glance at Cooper, he shrugged, knowing as much as I did that there wasn’t a chance in hell she’d relinquish this task—even to me. She’d been begging for free-range access to my wardrobe and I’d apparently become her favorite mannequin to play dress-up with.

It was easier to nod and go along with it than resist. Thankfully, her tastes weren’t too far off from my own. She’d make sure I looked good.

“And what’s your part in this?” I asked Marty, noticing he was the only one just standing there.

He grinned big. “Supervisor.” And with that, he plonked himself down on the edge of my bed, crossing his legs in front of him. “You have no idea the kind of organizational skills that are required for an excursion of this magnitude.”

“Excursion?” I questioned.

“He read it on the back of his
Wheaties
box this morning. Just ignore him,” Rebecca called out from inside my walk-in closet. “Hurry up and have a shower. The sooner you’re ready, the sooner I can tell you where we’re going!”

Slowly stretching before I padded over to my dresser, I discretely pulled out some underwear, folding it as small as I could and hugged it to my body as I passed the guys.

“And there’s a reason why you can’t tell me now?” When she didn’t immediately answer, I turned my question to Cooper. “Why all the secrecy?” The damn man gestured zipping his lips shut before tossing the imaginary key over his shoulder.  “Seriously? That’s how we’re going to play it?” I asked incredulously, glaring at him. “Traitor.”

“Trust me, you’ll have fun.”

“Yeah, yeah, you all keep saying that,” I grumbled. “I’d invite you to join me but I wouldn’t want to compromise the integrity of your secret.” And poking out my tongue like a spoiled brat, I slammed the bathroom door shut.

“Love you,” Cooper called out, and I could imagine him standing on the other side, a smile on his face as his hand rested on the knob. “Everything will be revealed as soon as you’re done.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I uttered again, turning on the shower facet and stepping into the tub.

Despite them keeping me in the dark and the temptation of taking my sweet time washing up, I was unbelievably intrigued. Going over all the pieces of the puzzles in my head, this was what I knew . . .

1. Rebecca had mentioned the need of my overnight bag.

2. Troy and Aidan were joining us so it was more than simply a couple’s retreat. That meant there was a good chance this had something to do with the band.

3. All of them had been incredibly evasive when the topic of celebrating my scholarship win and my upcoming finals. The only thing I’d managed to get out of Rebecca, and Cooper especially, was they agreed we needed to do something in honor of the additional tuition funds and that it would be good for me to relax before the grueling march into final weeks at school.

“Okay, I’m showered. Can you tell me now?” I hollered out after bending forward and spitting out my mouthful of toothpaste and water. Dressed, hair pulled back into a simple ponytail, I finished wrapping a dry towel around my body. There was no way I was going out there half-dressed in front of Marty.

It was just my luck Rebecca had chosen an outfit for me, anyway.

“It’s just me, sweetheart. Everyone else is out by the cars.”

Cooper.

True to his words, he was the only one sitting on the bed facing me. Surprisingly, he was the only thing waiting and not clothes arranged on the top of the mattress. Cooper must’ve understood my expression because he laughed. “I convinced her you could find something yourself . . . that should you have any trouble, I would be here to offer my assistance.”

“And she agreed?” Instead of making a beeline for my closet, I came and stood in between Cooper’s legs. “Some day you’ll need to share this magical power of yours.”

“If she knew how I’d dress you, she would’ve fought harder.”

When it came to Cooper, it was impossible to keep my hands to myself. Case in point, my fingers were already brushing through his hair, my nails dragging across his scalp. He’d told me once how much it made his insides tingle and I never forgot. “And that would be how?” Peering down into his eyes, I could almost read his thoughts. I knew. I just wanted to hear him say it.

“Like this.” And with a quick slip of his finger, the knot at the front of my towel came undone and the material dropped to the floor around my feet. Cooper’s hands instantly rose and spanned around my waist, his thumb caressing the bare skin there. “Perfect.”

“I don’t know,” I murmured, only to be shushed.

“To me, you are. So let me enjoy this view a little longer before the natives descend and you have to cover up.” And before I could add anything, he leaned forward and feathered the softest kisses across my abdomen—the sensation leaving trails of flickering heat behind that weakened my knees. I didn’t care what others said, or whether they believed such a thing could really happen.

This man . . . he did it for me.

Weak knees. Butterflies fluttering in the stomach. Racing heart. Inability to think and form words. Breathlessness. Zero desire to do anything, but wrap myself up in his arms and forget the world.

Love was an amazing thing—regardless of how it found you.

For me, it was this second chance at love, of being with someone who brought out the best in me and vice versa. It left me grinning like a fool.

Right now, that love was screaming for me to lock the bedroom door and make everyone else wait while I showed Cooper just how much he meant to me.

I couldn’t think of a better way to start this impromptu road trip than by getting him naked and giving him a proper good morning. We’d been robbed of one earlier and, like how coffee was for some, a healthy helping of Cooper was just what I needed to get the day started.

It would definitely make up for finding everyone in my bedroom, watching me sleep like crazy stalkers.

“Cooper,” I whispered, kneeling before him, my gaze not once leaving his. With my fingers at his belt, it unfastened promptly and I moved on to his zipper.

“Caylee,” he answered, equally breathy. He didn’t make any move to stop me. He knew better.

Rising to my feet, I wasted no time locking the door and stripping off my panties and bra as I returned to him, each item discarded where it fell. He’d understood and had removed his clothes, too.

There would never be enough time in the day to appreciate just how magnificent Cooper was naked—the way he cared for his body. He’d called me perfection, but it was the exact same word I thought of now, studying him.

I was pretty sure he made even the gods weep—envious over how genuinely beautiful he was.

“They can wait,” I murmured and, with a gentle shove from me, he fell back onto the bed. A wicked grin curled my lips as I climbed onto the bed as well, straddling his hips.

I wanted to feel him deep inside me.

I wanted to look down at him, knowing each and every moan he made was because of something I did.

I wanted that addictive control.

I wanted him—plain and simple.

“Do your worst, sweetheart,” Cooper challenged.

“Oh, I plan on doing my very best.” And with one last smile before I captured his gorgeous mouth, I whispered, “Trust me.”

****

“I honestly thought you’d break before now,” I mused, resting against the side of Cooper’s car. After two hours of driving, I was still no closer to knowing where we were going and, for a brief moment, had even considered threatening to report myself kidnapped to force their hand.

I’d known Rebecca would hold out—if only for the sheer principle of the matter. I only had myself to blame for that after accusing her of being the worst person to confide a secret in.

In my defense, she’d proven my point by blabbing about something I’d told her in confidence the minute Marty had walked into the living room. It had been something harmless, but still. Once the excitement took over, you never knew what would come out of her mouth. Rebecca had tried pleading her case—adamant she suffered from a severe case of
squee-itis
, a condition she swore could be found on the Internet and was exaggerated under cases of tremendous pressure.

Once again, I cried foul so for added measure, she’d pinky-sworn, Girl Guide promised, and offered her first-born all in a heartfelt pledge to keep my trust in her.

She was dramatic, but I loved her to pieces. It was impossible to stay annoyed for too long and she knew it.

One day, Rebecca would make one hell of an actress. But for right now, she was inside the gas station using the restrooms, tight-lipped and determined to prove her ability to say nothing.

“What can I say? I’m more afraid of that girl in there than you right now. Sorry.” Cooper’s smirk told me he was far from feeling apologetic.