Bitter Winds (5 page)

“You’re right, Baba. And it doesn’t even feel like work. I love being able to spend most of my day in the kitchen.”

Benfu tucked his handkerchief back in his pocket. “Well, this new place sure has made your Mama happy, too. I thought she’d never leave that tiny house. But she flutters around here like a mother hen making sure everyone’s doing their chores and showing up for classes. You’d think she would stop at teaching the children their reading and writing, but now she’s even making more quilts and knitting winter gear. I’ve never seen her so busy.”

He watched as Li Jin smiled. If he never saw another beautiful thing in the world he wouldn’t care, as her smile was worth more than any sunset or painting he’d ever laid eyes on. He couldn’t get enough of seeing it.

“Li Jin, do you think it’s time for you to get out a bit, maybe make some new friends?” He didn’t say what he really wanted to, that maybe she should get acquainted with some gentlemen her age.

Li Jin laughed. “No, I have more than enough to do for now.”

Benfu stared at her. He couldn’t help it; he wanted his daughter to know the kind of love he’d known with her mother. Didn’t every father want that for his child?

“What about male friends? Wouldn’t you like to start seeing what’s out there? I have a few comrades who have unmarried sons your age.”

Li Jin’s face fell. She busied herself over a box, pretending to count diapers.

Benfu felt ashamed that he’d pushed too hard. Her romantic life—or lack thereof—wasn’t a subject they’d yet broached. Li Jin had been through a lot, and he only wanted to see her happy, but he’d have to be more patient. “Li Jin, I’m sorry. Is it still too soon?”

She nodded, not turning around.

“
Hao le, Nuer
. But remember, every broken heart will lead you to your true path. You are only stronger for the trials you’ve been through. In time, you’ll see the lessons you are meant to learn from them.” And speaking of time . . . that reminded him of something else. He looked down at his watch.

“Isn’t it time for my grandson to get home from school?”

Finally she stood and turned to him, a small forgiving smile on her face. “I think he’s already in the courtyard with the girls.”

Lily stood at the counter, an apron wrapped around her waist. She’d carefully braided her hair to keep it out of the way, and now she was ready to go. She could feel Ivy staring holes in her back and wished she’d go on and do something else. She didn’t mind if Ivy wanted to learn, too, but she didn’t want her there if she was just going to be difficult. Behind her, she could hear Maggi sitting near the table, chattering about new ribbons for the spokes of her wheelchair. Beside her, Jasmine colored quietly, but Lily still knew she was there by the soft sounds she made as she moved around.

“Have you already washed the celery?” Li Jin asked, then reached around her and gently put the large knife in Lily’s right hand.

“Yes, that was the easy part.” Starting at the handle, Lily explored the length of the knife with her left fingers, taking care not to touch the sharp side of the blade.

“Okay then, the onion is a few inches from your knife, and the bunch of celery beside it,” Li Jin said, her voice low and calm. “Maggi, you come over here and wash the carrots, please.”

“The onion is at one o’clock and the celery at three. You need to use a clock reference so she can visualize it. But she’s going to cut her fingers off,” Ivy said. “Don’t let her use that big knife.”

“No I’m not, Ivy. I can do this.” Lily was trying to keep her voice steady; she didn’t want to fight with Ivy in front of Li Jin. It was embarrassing. It was ironic that her sister was usually her most vocal advocate when people tried to treat her differently because of her disability, but lately she was worse than strangers. She of all people should know that Lily just wanted to be treated the same.

“Ivy, I’d like for you to pull the chicken off the bone, but first cut off the feet and drop them in the broth. You can find the bird in the wire basket in the sink.”

“Gross, I don’t want to touch the chicken.” Ivy wrinkled her nose and stepped back from the counter.

Lily snorted. “She doesn’t want to learn to cook, Li Jin. She’s only in here because she thinks she has to watch out for me.” Lily used her left hand to line up the onion, then began to chop through it carefully, feeling along the top of it each time to see where to make the next slice. It was no secret that her sister acted as if she were Lily’s own private security guard.

Lily heard the sound of a zipper; then Li Jin spoke. Lily noticed her voice didn’t change a bit, even after Ivy’s defiance.

“Ivy, please go to the corner store and buy two dozen pears and a bag of dates. We’ll have a special dessert tonight.”

“Steamed pears? What’s the occasion?” Ivy asked.

Lily stopped her carving and turned halfway around. “The occasion is I’m going to put together the entire evening meal and I want to finish it right. Please go, Ivy,” she pleaded.

“Fine, Lily, but if I come back and you’re missing digits, don’t cry to me.” Ivy’s voice trailed off as she left the kitchen.

Lily breathed a sigh of relief. She felt Li Jin move to stand beside her.

“Wow, is she overprotective or what?”

“She’s bossy,” Maggi added under her breath.

Lily smiled weakly. “I know. But she means well. It’s just that she’s been perfecting her position as my bodyguard all our life. It’s embarrassing.”

She felt Li Jin’s arm move around her shoulder and give a quick squeeze. “Don’t be embarrassed. You should feel honored to be loved that much. Your sister would move mountains for you, I’m sure of it. It’s hard for her that you are learning to be more independent. Here, stop cutting for a minute. See, you left some of the onion peel on.” She guided Lily’s fingers to the half of the onion still intact. “Feel the papery peeling?”

Lily did feel it and began to pick at it until it came off. She felt Li Jin put another onion on the board. She didn’t tell her, but she’d been peeling and chopping onions for a while now in her Nai Nai’s kitchen.

“Remember, we’re doubling everything to feed so many people. And Sky’s coming over, too. If it was just a small family, you’d need to scale way back. It’s important that we learn how to make a lot of soups for the upcoming winter as there might be weeks we won’t have rice.”

Lily nodded, taking in everything Li Jin said. She loved the kitchen, and best of all, Li Jin didn’t treat her differently just because she was blind.

“Looks like you’ll be doing the chicken-picking, so hurry up with the onions and celery,” Li Jin said, and Lily heard her sweeping the floor. She really wasn’t going to help her cook! Lily felt a rush of anxiety, then pushed it back.

“I can do it.” She’d been helping her Nai Nai in the kitchen for years, though admittedly it was with only simple tasks. She was ready to move on and show everyone she wasn’t helpless.

Li Jin’s broom stopped moving. “I know you can. And while you’re cutting up vegetables, I’m going to tell you how to make the steamed pears. I’ll only say it once, so you’d better listen up. In a real kitchen, everything moves fast and there’s no time for teaching it twice.”

Lily perked up to full alert as she pushed her pile of onions to the corner of the cutting board and felt around for the celery. Li Jin sounded confident in her abilities to do this, so she’d have to show her new sister she was right.

Li Jin talked as slow and steady as she swept, and Lily took in every word. “First, you’ll need to wash and dry the pears. Then you’ll need to cut the tops off. After that, take out the cores and make a small slice at the bottom so the pear will stand up straight.”

Lily began carefully chopping the celery while listening to the instructions for the pears.

Li Jin continued. “Then put two teaspoons of honey in each pear along with one date; then put the top back on the pears. You’ll steam them for thirty minutes. That’s it, Lily, and we’ll have a delicious dessert that everyone will think I made—if Ivy can keep her lips zipped.”

Lily laughed. Li Jin really was getting to know her sister well.

“And don’t tell her we were talking about her, Maggi Mei.” Lily reached over and felt for the girl, then ruffled her hair.

“I won’t,” Maggi said.

Lily heard Li Jin rustling around again.

“Here’s ginger, chives, and some other herbs—all grown from my own windowsill. I’ll even let you add my own version of Chinese five-spice powder. I used to hear about this stuff in every foster home. Now I’ve made my own with a strong addition of dried ginseng. After we let them rave about dinner for a few minutes, we’ll tell them who the real chef is,” Li Jin said.

Lily tried to suppress the smile she felt spreading across her face. It wouldn’t do to look so proud. She moved her knife even faster to cut the celery; she was getting the hang of it and couldn’t wait to tackle the chicken, and the pears. Tonight was going to
be her show, this time a performance without a violin propped under her chin.

L
i Jin pushed the hair back away from her eyes and joined Sami on the sidewalk. The walk from the old factory—their new home—to the street leading to the local shops of vegetables and other staples was short. It was after dinner and in their neighborhood while many people were settling down to prepare for bed, Sami was like a bubbling pot of water on the brink of boiling over.

“Where do you want to go?” Li Jin asked. She was bone-tired, but Sami had pleaded with her for some alone time and after all, everyone had been competing for her attention lately, leaving not much for Sami.

“I don’t care—anywhere that we don’t have a bunch of your family members or any of the others in the house tailing us,” Sami answered, waddling quickly up the walk.

She sounds bitter,
thought Li Jin, and that concerned her. She wouldn’t admit it to her father, but she’d also noticed lately that Sami was even moodier than usual. She knew one thing for certain; Sami’s moods were getting worse the closer her due date came. Everyone in the house avoided her as much as possible, afraid to set her off. Li Jin was relieved that today her mother had shooed them out, offering to spend the evening with Jojo and get him into bed. No doubt she hoped a few hours away would settle Sami a bit.

“Sami, what’s going on with you? We’re finally alone, so talk to me. We’ve only got about a week to go and you haven’t prepared anything for the baby. We need to get things ready!”

“I don’t want to talk about that right now.” Sami guided Li Jin to the curb where a taxi sat waiting for its next fare. “Let’s go have a drink, Li Jin.”

Li Jin stopped. Sami never wanted to talk about anything—that was the problem. Or at least it was one of the problems. Along with sleeping too much and having huge mood swings. One day she was euphoric, the next so sad she looked suicidal. Li Jin couldn’t keep up anymore. “I don’t want to go have a drink. I have to get up at five in the morning to start preparing breakfast for two dozen hungry people. You shouldn’t be drinking, anyway.”

Sami opened the taxi door. “Just one drink, Li Jin. One. You do everything for everyone else—can’t you do anything just for me anymore? We’ll just go down to Kiko’s and have a drink, then come home.”

Li Jin had never heard of Kiko’s, but maybe it would be a good idea to go somewhere with Sami that would make her comfortable enough to talk. Li Jin was tired of walking on eggshells around her and they needed to get some things straight.

“One drink, Sami. And mine is going to be cola. You can order juice.” She climbed in and slid over to make room. “This Kiko’s place better not be in the red-light district.”

Sami got in and Li Jin watched the smirk spread across her face.
The girl loved to get her way.
Sami told the driver where to go and he took off, sending all of them backward in their seats from his heavy foot.

“It doesn’t matter where we go, I just want it to be you and me again, like it was in Hongcun.”

That disturbed Li Jin. She looked at Sami and saw the girl was completely serious.

“Sami, the only reason it was just you and me at that first shelter is because Jojo was taken from me before we got there. I was never meant to be there alone.”

“You weren’t alone, Li. You had me,” Sami said quietly.

Li Jin fell silent. She didn’t know what to say to Sami anymore to make her understand that there was room in her life for
everyone
. She watched out the window at the crowds of people that got thicker the farther they went from their own corner of Wuxi. Many were still probably trying to get home to their families, tired from their long days. The electric scooters and pedestrians all competed for their piece of space in the narrow bicycle lane that ran parallel to the busy street. The vendors took up the sidewalks with their street stands, and they moved quickly to pack up, their early-morning masks of cheeriness and goodwill removed to reveal their exhaustion and impatience.

The driver finally stopped in the middle of the block. From what Li Jin could see, there were bars and clothing shops lining the street, but they weren’t too far from the red-light district. The neon sign in front of the small building marked Kiko’s flashed, a few of the bulbs burned out but the others a tacky pink.

“You want to go
here
? Have you been in there before?” Li Jin asked. She really wished she could turn around and go home.

“Yes, I’ve been here before. Come on.” Sami opened the door and jumped out.

Li Jin could see a sudden change in her as soon as they stepped onto the colorful street. Sami looked more alive, full of anticipation. She was practically jumping up and down, she was so excited to be there. Li Jin handed the driver the fare before following Sami out.

They entered the bar and Sami led her to a small booth on the far wall. There were only a few others there, a couple playing pool and a few locals who sat in purple velvet chairs around a small table, sharing a huge platter of French fries. On the other side of the long mahogany bar, a tall young man was drying a glass with a ragged towel.

She followed Sami. The music was loud and Li Jin didn’t recognize it but guessed it was one of the new Hong Kong superstars that were always on the radio.

They sat down and a waitress came over.

“
Ni hao,
what can I get you?” The girl pulled the pencil from behind her ear and a pad from her pocket.

“A cola for me, please,” Li Jin said, and smiled. The girl didn’t even look old enough to be working, much less in a bar. She held her tongue and didn’t ask her what her situation was. While she’d love to give the girl some advice, she had to face the reality that she couldn’t save everybody.

“Suntory,” Sami answered quickly.

“No, she wants orange juice,” Li Jin said, giving Sami a scolding look.

Sami returned her look with a glare, then directed her attention back to the waitress. “Don’t bring me juice. I want beer.”

Li Jin reached for a piece of popcorn from the dish on the table. She wasn’t hungry, but she felt awkward arguing in front of the girl.

“Okay . . . an orange juice and a Suntory.” The girl looked at Sami’s stomach, then quickly back down at her pad. She scribbled, then headed back toward the bar.

“Sami, can we have a serious talk?”

“Again?” Sami said, looking around quickly, her attention everywhere except on Li Jin.

The way she was acting made Li Jin think of Jojo when he was too excited and having trouble concentrating. Sami looked ready to spring at any notice of action. It was obvious that first of all, her mood was all over the place, and second, she had been at Kiko’s many times before.

“Do you like living here in Wuxi?”

“Not really, but it’s just temporary, right?” Sami said, finally looking directly at her.

“Temporary? What makes you think that, Sami?” Li Jin was confused. Didn’t spending all her money on their new home mean anything to the girl? Did she think she’d just up and leave it all behind?

“I thought you and I were going to take a trip?” Sami’s face changed and suddenly she was back to looking moody and withdrawn.

“I did tell you that I’d go with you to your hometown, Sami, but that was before I met my family—and before we knew about your condition. Can’t we let all that go and just enjoy a new start?”

Li Jin watched as Sami’s face turned hard and unyielding. “No, I can’t let it go. And you shouldn’t, either. I want revenge. And don’t you want to make Erik pay for everything he did to you, too?”

Li Jin sighed. “Well, I think
you
should go to see about the sister you left behind, Sami. But I can’t come with you. I have too many responsibilities now.”

The girl returned with their drinks and set them on the table. “Fifteen reminbi.”

Sami looked away and Li Jin pulled the bills from her purse. She wasn’t happy about it, as she needed to watch every penny, but someone had to pay and obviously Sami didn’t have any money. The waitress took her money and went back to stand at the bar.

Li Jin lowered her voice. “Sami, listen to me. About Erik . . . once and for all, I don’t want to ever see or talk to him again. He’s out of my life and it’s going to stay that way. Erik is dangerous and I don’t want him near me or Jojo. What did you think I could do to him?”

Sami gave a sly smile and Li Jin felt a shiver of foreboding. She wished now that she’d never told Sami all about Erik and the things he’d done to her. Sami knew everything—and that could be disastrous.

“I have plans for Erik, just like I do for my father and uncle. When I’m through with them, they’ll never hurt another little girl again,” Sami said, glaring into the space above Li Jin’s head.

Li Jin reached across the table and grabbed Sami’s wrist, bringing her attention back to her.

“No, this has to stop. Erik can make big trouble for me and Jojo. He dragged me into doing things I’m not proud of, Sami. Things I don’t want my family to know about and definitely things that can get me thrown in jail. Just let it be.”

A well-dressed businessman approached their table and smiled down at Sami. “Care to share a drink?”

“Zou kai,”
Sami answered. She barely looked at the man, dismissively waving her hand in the air at him.

Li Jin was embarrassed. She didn’t want to be approached, either, but the guy looked nice and she felt bad for him and knew he’d really be embarrassed if he could see the swollen belly Sami kept hidden under the edge of the table.

“Thank you, but maybe another time,” Li Jin answered to soften the blow, even though he clearly wasn’t interested in her. He wandered off quickly, with red-tipped ears.

“See, Sami. You’re a beautiful woman. You attract attention everywhere you go. Why don’t you let yourself enjoy life again and just forget about this revenge trip you keep hanging on to?”

Sami shook her head. “It’s just an illusion. Just because they see pretty on the outside, they think a woman will be sweet on the inside, and that’s not always the case, Li Jin. Or sometimes they just hope to use me and my pretty face. I’m done with men and wish they wouldn’t approach me at all. I’ll use
them
if
I
want something. I just wish I had the scar you have on your face, then maybe they’d leave me alone.”

Li Jin took a long sip of her cola. Sami knew she didn’t like to talk about her face—she was just trying to get a reaction, but Li Jin wouldn’t give it to her. Sami had a serious chip on her shoulder about men that she might never get over. It was clear she was bored with her new life and was craving more action. Li Jin hated seeing her so unhappy, and the honest truth was she just didn’t think family life and the day-to-day operations of the center were going to be enough for Sami. She was unsettled, and Li Jin wished she knew how to make it right.

“What about you, Li Jin? Are you going to fall for the crap that some man will feed you?”

“What do you mean, crap?”

“A man will say anything to win you over but they all only want one thing.”

Li Jin reached up and touched her scar. “Sami, I doubt we’ll have to worry about that. What man is going to look past what Erik did to me? I wasn’t much to look at before but now I’m almost nothing.”

“What about Sky? I see the way he looks at you,” Sami said in a teasing voice.

Li Jin felt the heat rush up her neck. “He’s just being nice. I don’t think he really thinks of me like
that
. But back to you—you have a chance at real love if you’d learn to let go of your past hurts. There is possibly someone out there just perfect for you.”