Bitter Taffy (15 page)

“Oh God,” Derek panted. “Where did that come from?”

Rico tried to catch his breath and remember that they were waiting for
him
to recover after all. “I don’t know,” he breathed. “I just wanted you to know….”

“Know what?” Derek asked, suddenly serious.

Rico smiled slightly and tried not to just haul him into the jungle gyms and make like rutting monkeys. “Know that
someday
, probably soon, I’m gonna see if you talk in your sleep.”

Derek’s chuckles shook them both, and they pulled apart and started their amble back to the party. Derek bumped his shoulder, though, and Rico found himself being steered to the swing set instead.

“Aren’t we a little—”

“Just swing,” Derek said, looking far too serious for such a playful request.

Rico sank into the black vinyl swing anyway and pushed off, appreciating the stretch and heave his body had to do to move the swing in its smooth arc. “Swinging, sir!”

“Yeah, obedience is appreciated in an employee,” Derek shot back, but he was doing his own push and stretch and heave, and together they swooped up into the purple sky and dove back toward the cooling earth.

Damn, it was fun.

Rico pushed up higher, and higher, and faster, laughing like a little kid—laughing like Derek—until he became aware that Derek had stopped his swing and was just watching as Rico played like a grade-schooler.

Rico couldn’t help it, though. He pumped through the air a few more times and then glided to a stop, feet skidding in the safety bark underneath the playground equipment. “Why’d you stop?” he asked breathlessly.

Derek shook his head. “I just…. Never mind. C’mon. Let’s go back.” He shoved up off the swing and Rico followed.

Without light, Rico couldn’t see much about his expression, but something obviously troubled Derek—that much was obvious.

“No, seriously—Derek—” Rico caught his shoulder, swinging him around so they were facing each other. “Not that I’m complaining, but what gives?”

Derek shook his head and shrugged. “I was being stupid,” he said. “I’m sorry. I get this… Don Quixote thing sometimes.”

“No, c’mon.” Rico studied him, unsure of what was wrong. “It’s been a great day.”

Derek nodded and kissed him on the forehead. “Yeah. It has. I want a lot more like it. I want them with you.”

Rico’s smile made a quick return and then retreated again. “Then what—”

Derek bit his lip. “I just… I get the feeling you and Adam—you didn’t have much of that when you were kids. I just… I wanted to give it to you, that was all.”

Rico’s breath caught. It was so simple, and so very profound, and so generous, and so…

Impossible.

“That’s….” And now he smiled, for once a little older and a little wiser. “That’s really sweet, Derek. You know that? But maybe we just work on a happy now, okay?” He shrugged. “A happy then isn’t really going to happen.”

Derek kissed his cheek. “I can only wish.”

“You’ve got the best heart for that.”

This time the kiss hit his lips—but they kept it under control. When it ended, they regarded each other soberly. The sodium lights had just come on, and Finn’s and Derek’s families were standing around, talking in that lingering way people had when they didn’t want a good moment to end.

“Let’s go join them,” Derek said, the grown-up once more.

They walked back holding hands.

B
UT
THE
words “happy now” haunted Rico, and as they sat in the car talking that night—which had become their habit when Derek drove him home—he couldn’t help but think about Derek’s easy smile, that core of sweetness, the hidden vulnerability that he kept so skillfully masked.

Derek was in the middle of a rant about the one thing that ever seemed to piss him off—the Los Angeles Dodgers—when Rico turned to him suddenly, brushing his temple with fingertips that suddenly trembled.

“What?” Derek asked, surprised.

“Just… you know. I’m happy
now
.”

Derek smiled, turned his head and kissed his fingers. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“So, uhm, you want to schedule a sleepover? Like grown-ups?”

“I should get tested,” Rico said with a swallow. He and Ezra hadn’t used protection. They had seemed so… permanent. So innocent. Stupidest thing he’d ever done, he acknowledged now, but Derek didn’t judge.

“You do that,” Derek said soberly. “I get tested twice a year. Haven’t had a relationship since my last window.”

Rico nodded and then laughed at himself. “You’re very smart.”

“Tell me about him,” Derek asked abruptly.

Silence fell for a moment. Really? “Doesn’t this violate some sort of—”

“Let’s just say I want to know my competition,” Derek said, sounding casual. Rico had a feeling—an uncomfortable feeling—that he felt anything but.

“Okay. See, when I first started working for Old Man Kellerman, I thought, ‘So this guy’s the mentor I’ve been looking for all my life!’ He was ruthless, he was cutthroat, and he didn’t let anything get in the way of his business. I still had all my old man’s bullshit ringing in my head about giving no quarter, not being soft, and I’d sucked at that, you know? I mean, I’d worked for five years at a little ad agency, and yeah, I made money, but I didn’t get a lot of recognition. I was working with the owner’s family and they weren’t
awesome
at the job, and finally, I was working for someone who could get it done, right?”

Holy God. Just talking about it made Rico realize how stunted his life had been. His father was like, the
anti-
Derek, and working for Derek was the most dynamic, exciting thing he’d ever done.

“I know the type,” Derek said darkly.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t. I mean, I
thought
I did, but I hadn’t realized, you know? And then Ezra and I started working together, and… he was like… like this gorgeous, exotic flower, and his father was Old Man Winter. And he sort of bloomed whenever I walked by. And
God
, isn’t that powerful? To just be the reason someone blooms? But… I mean, I didn’t get it, but I do now. This last month, really.” Rico’s face heated. “Working for you. Living with Finn and Adam. You all are… your whole selves were completely realized, and then the other person just made you better. But you were flowers already, you know? You—straightforward, honest. Even when you fucked up, that part of you was still there. Adam—strong, kind. He
was
that flower before he found Finn. Finn just saw it first. And Finn—an act of fuckin’ God couldn’t make that kid any more or any less than he already is. So Ezra—he needed to get out from his old man without me. Or at least have the strength to do it when I was there. But he didn’t.”

“Did you ask?” Derek asked gently.

Rico swallowed hard, his eyes burning. “Yeah,” he whispered. “Kellerman was throwing me out of his office in front of the whole fucking world, and I said, ‘Come with me,’ and Ezra said, ‘Just go.’ And he came to give me my plane tickets—my payoff, really, for getting the fuck out of there immediately—and I said, ‘Come with me,’ and he… well, he was hustled out by his bodyguard, but he didn’t fight it. He’s a grown man. He makes business trips, he has his own bank account and a degree, same as me. That’s twice I told him ‘Come with me,’ and twice he walked away.”

Derek nodded. “I should make you ask him a third time,” he said, mouth twisting. “You know, like the fairy tales? But I won’t.”

Rico nodded. “I appreciate that,” he said weakly. “I, uhm, don’t think I’d offer it right now. I… I mean, I get it. I wasn’t out of the closet either—not to my mom and dad. But I was going to. When my internship was over and it looked like I had a job and a future all mapped out rosy fine? But I came out, and my mom gave me a chance to back out of it, and I told her I meant it. And Ezra had the same chance, and he went back in.”

“Why didn’t you go back in?” Derek asked. “Why is that?”

Rico smiled a little. “’Cause… ’cause Adam’s happy. And ’cause you and Miguel, you’re good people to hang out with. Even if you and me don’t… you know. If we didn’t.” He blushed. “If we weren’t gonna….” And more blushing. “I mean, good people. I can’t… you can’t shit on that, you know? My parents, they followed all the rules, but they were like Kellerman. Old Man Winter had nothing on ’em.” Rico turned his head and breathed deeply through the open window. “I really fucking love the spring and the summer. Even the autumns here, where it doesn’t get cold until goddamned November. I don’t need snow to be complete, you know what I’m saying?”

Derek captured his mouth, surrounded him with warmth, and just when Rico started to think he’d melt, Derek pulled away. “I’ve got a pretty good idea,” he murmured throatily. He slid his fingers up along the base of Rico’s skull, and his fingers, massaging through Rico’s hair, were the best reason yet to grow it long.

The kiss went on, and on, growing urgent, because they were both horny, but restrained, because they were grown-ups this time, and they knew what they wanted, and the best part about being a grown-up was that you got to wait for when it was good.

They pulled away, and Derek breathed in the hollow of Rico’s ear. “Get tested tomorrow,” he murmured. “Friday night, I think maybe you and me are going to watch movies at my place, you good with that?”

Rico moaned a little, because… oh God. His cock ached and his skin tingled, too tight on his muscles, and his muscles vibrated, too tight on his bones. “I want you
so
damned bad,” he muttered. “You know I can’t get off, right? I
sleep on the couch
. I can’t even beat off in the shower because there’s three guys trying to take a dump in the morning.”

Derek chuckled, the sound filthy and evil. “This morning I imagined your mouth on my cock,” he said, shocking Rico badly. “And I licked my palm and stroked myself and came all over my fist.”

Rico moaned again and then reached into his pants and tried to adjust his aching erection for just a little comfort, a little ease.

“Are you jerking off?” Derek asked, surprised.

“No,” Rico panted, undulating into his hand because dammit, it was
there
. “I’m just trying to make ro—”

Derek cut off his blatant lie with a blatantly carnal kiss.

And then he removed Rico’s hand and replaced it with his own.

Rico returned the favor this time, and it was awkward, because for all their talk of being grown-ups, hello, they were making out in the goddamned car
again
, but this time he circled Derek’s cock with his own fingers and had the exquisite pleasure of Derek groaning into his mouth.

And then it was fast and dirty, a race, the pressure of Derek’s roughened hand on him, the silk and slick precome of Derek’s drooling cock in Rico’s hand.

They bucked, and ground, and Rico couldn’t tell which one of them came first, because the hot spill of Derek’s spend on the backs of his fingers was as glorious as the starburst of orgasm behind his eyes.

When breathing became a thing again, Derek groaned in the not-sexy “oh crap!” sort of way.

“What?” Rico asked, trying to see straight. “You’re professing your profound gratitude that I live in sort of a shitty neighborhood?”

“No,” Derek rasped. “I’m expressing my profound disgust at having to go home with jizz in my shorts.”

Rico laughed shortly. “Welcome to the party, pal.”

Derek wiped his hand off on the inside of his shirt and laced his fingers with Rico’s in the dark. Derek’s hand was a little moist, and a little hot, and shaking just the slightest bit. “Sleepover,” he said, trying to convince himself. “I’ll come get you Friday night. Grown-ups. Real. We’re making this real.”

Rico brought Derek’s hand to his mouth and turned his palm, lipping it gently, nuzzling it, licking the salt part of the center. “It’s very real,” he assured him, not sure why he felt the need to. This man… was a good son, a good brother, a really awesome boss. He was a person—a hot person with muscular shoulders and an almost smooth chest and pretty blue eyes and laugh lines that crinkled in the corners of what had once been a freckled face—but all of that
appeal
made up the least of his personhood.

He wasn’t a dream, or an image, or yearning under a snow-lit black sky.

Derek was
real
. And everything he’d done in Rico’s life so far had been made of the sort of kindness Rico had only dreamed about.

Derek’s whimper was real too. “Don’t tease me,” he half laughed, half begged. “Don’t promise if you don’t mean it.”

“I promise.”

He meant it. It would come true.

T
HE
NEXT
week was
busy
. Rico finished his strategy for Finn’s dad and then began to implement it because he wanted to see it work now that the place was open for business and they could stream customers there. He caught two more clients from Derek and then sat down to figure out if he could devote all his time to just those clients and give them their absolute money’s worth.

Derek approved enough to kiss Rico behind closed doors, just once, and not carnally at all.

The kiss almost exploded all over Derek’s desk, and Rico practically ran backward and leaned against the window treatment, panting badly and adjusting himself in his pants.

“Jesus, we’re horny,” he said, trying to make the moment light.

Derek was still seated, head buried in the crook of one elbow while he fixed himself with his other hand. “Ten years—
ten years
and I’ve never hit on an employee. Now I know.
Now
I fucking know.”

“Never?” Rico asked, trying to distract himself from the taste of Derek’s mouth
still on his tongue
.

Derek looked up from his arm with something like desperation. “I hit on Adam, and he was cute. But God, Rico, I saw you sitting there in the sunshine, and you were….
God
, you were… and then I talked to you, and you were
fun
and smart, and you wanted to do your job with a good heart, and—”