Biker Bound: The Lost Souls MC Series (24 page)

“Hey little man,” he speaks to Zachery playing with his bricks on the floor. Zachery looks up and smiles at him before returning his attention to his toys.

“How are you doin’?” he asks me, taking a seat on the chair.

“I’m not sure,” I answer him honestly.

“I get it,” he murmurs, “Are you goin’ to ask how Slade is?”

He isn’t rude but I can sense his loyalty to his brother.

“How is he?”

“He had to have surgery to get the bullet out but he’s goin’ to be okay, although he’s goin’ fuckin’ crazy not seeing you.”

“I kind of figured he was okay because of him out there finding me,” I say, nodding my chin at the prospect outside. Slade found me here once before, I didn’t put it past him to find me here again.

“Actually that was Bon, she followed you when you left. She saw you leavin’ and knew how you would be feelin’ and needed space.”

“Oh.”

I truly had made some good friends here and it only made everything worse.

“Why are you here?” I ask, because I don’t know what else to say.

“I know you’re not used to our lifestyle and it can be scary to some, but I know a runner when I see one. If you love him then running away will be the biggest mistake you’ll make,” he says, solemnly.

“I’m not running.”

“What are you doin’ here then?” he asks.

I didn’t want to have this conversation with him, he released a heavy sigh when I remained silent.

“I don’t know how much Bon has told you about her past but she knew the life before I met her and she ran all the fuckin’ time, she nearly destroyed me with it. The point I’m trying to make is that you shouldn’t run because of what happened, Slade would never have let you get hurt.”

“I’m not worried about what happened, he stepped in direct line of fire. He knew there was a huge possibility she would have killed him. He was going to take himself away from us,” I whimpered, remembering the scene at the club.

He stood and held his hands on his hips staring down at me as I sat on the edge of the bed.

“Sounds like you wanna kick his ass and you can’t reach it from here. I’ll wait outside while you get your shit together.”

He makes it to the door before it registers what he said.

“Who said I was leaving?” I ask, stubbornly.

“I am,” he says, turning around so he is face to face with me, “My brother travelled across the country just to take you out to dinner because that was what you wanted. He has totalled one side of his bike in his rush to get to you when he knew you were in danger. I think the least you can do is go and see him and talk this shit out because if he has to stay in that hospital for much longer without seeing you, he’s goin’ to drive us and the nurses crazier than he is goin’.”

He doesn’t say another word as he turns and leaves.

He’s right, Slade and I do need to talk. I pack our bag and hand the key back to the manager.

Sparky is on his phone when I get back to my car and he watches every move I make.

He snaps his phone shut and puts it in his pocket.

“Bon says you can drop Zach off at ours while you go to the hospital, she’ll watch him for as long as you need.”

“Thanks.”

Before long we’re on the road heading back to Willows Peak and I feel like I have a personal bodyguard, either that or he’s making sure I don’t drive in the opposite direction.

Bonnie was more than happy to see us when we arrived. She scooped Zachery out of his car seat and was shooing me off before I could get out of the car. The ride to the hospital didn’t take long and seemed quicker because my mind was too busy trying to figure out what I was going to say.

It wasn’t hard to find his room as the door was surrounded with Lost Souls.

“I’m fuckin’ glad to see you darlin’, maybe you can get him to ease up on everyone,” Oak grunts, opening the door to Slade’s room for me.

My heart beats erratically as soon as I see him sitting up in bed. Cas and Alannah are sitting either side of him and go quiet when they see me.

Neither of them say anything and stand to leave. Cas walks straight past me and out of the room but Alannah stops and gives me a quick hug before she leaves and closes the door behind her.

“How are you?” I ask, moving to stand at the bottom of his bed.

“Better now you’re here,” he smiles.

His smile hurts to look at and the thought he could have taken that away from me hurts even more.

“Where have you been?” he asks.

“I had to get away, I had too much to think about.” I say, moving around his bed to take the seat Cas was in.

“There’s nothing to think about Kris, you’re here, I’m here, everything is good. It’s been killing me wondering what’s been going through your head.”

Everything about him hurt me, it hurts to look at his handsome face, it hurts to hear his alluring voice and it hurts when he holds my hand and I feel his warmth.

“When my father’s condition worsened I had to watch him die a little bit more every day, it terrified me to watch him deteriorate knowing there was nothing I could do to help him. I know he loved me and didn’t want to leave us. You made out we could have a life together, you told me you loved me. I was prepared to give you all of me and all you was prepared to do was die right in front of me. I can’t and won’t stand by and watch someone I love die again.”

He didn’t interrupt as I spoke and I didn’t give him a chance to speak after I finished.

I pulled my hand from his and stood.

“Don’t do this.”

“I’m sorry.”

It is all I can say, I know it is cowardly, the guy can’t even get out of bed to chase me down for which I am grateful for because my resolve watching him fall apart like me was beginning to waver.

I have a responsibility to myself and to my son, as much as it hurts to walk away I know it could be worse if he put himself purposefully in danger again.

“Kristen,” Slade calls, as I open the door.

I don’t turn around as I say, “Goodbye Slade, my things will be gone before you get home.”

No one says anything as I walk through the band of brothers and leave the hospital without hesitation.

It isn’t until I get back to the confines of my car that I cry. I cry for the happiness I had and I cry for the man I love that I can’t bear to lose for being ridiculously stupid with his life.

Slade

“Cas,” I call out, hoping he will hear through the closed door.

I’m not letting her walk away that easily, or at all. Ripping the drip from my hand stings like a bitch but I don’t care.

“Cas,” I yell louder.

I swing my good leg over the edge of the bed and carefully move my wounded leg to rest it next to it.

Cas still hasn’t heard me, sliding off the bed I land on my good leg and use the bed rail to hop to the end.

It is not far to the door so I hobble on one foot and grasp the handle with everything I have to keep myself upright. A wave of dizziness flows over me but I carry on.

Opening the door I find my brothers and Alannah sitting and standing around the hall but no Kristen.

“Slade! What are you thinking?” Alannah gasps, jumping to her feet.

I sought my president out and catch his eye.

“Get me out of here.” I say, using the doorframe to hold me up.

He doesn’t ask any questions and complies. Oak and Sparky jump to my side and help me stand unaided by the doorframe.

“You can’t leave Slade,” Alannah says, getting in my face.

“She’s going to leave and I can’t let that happen,” I tell her.

“Get back in bed and I will find her and talk to her for you, I’ll get her to come back.” She says, almost begging.

Thankfully Cas comes towards us with a wheelchair. As soon as he is close enough I slump into it and breathe a sigh of relief from the pain.

“Where to Slade?” Cas asks.

“My house.”

Not seeing Kristen over the last couple of days has given me too much time to think. The club is in disarray from the revelation that Pope killed Michael and not Hunter. Kitty’s body was buried in an unmarked grave outside of town but with more respect than she deserves and the hole in my leg seems to be for nothing.

Cas has told us that the Michael situation will be addressed when Pope and I are out of hospital and back at the club.

So far it seems everyone is taking it well. I don’t care who killed Michael after what he done to us but the fact they kept it a secret stings me to the core. If they have kept something like that to themselves, what else don’t we know?

The drive is quiet to my house. I wait with baited breath as we round the corner onto my street as to whether her car is there or not.

When I see her car parked in the drive, I exhale loudly. Cas and Sparky both help me out of the truck and after I have one arm over each of their shoulders, I hop up the porch and remember I don’t have my keys.

Sparky knocks on the door.

“This is fuckin’ embarrassing,” I curse, having to have two guys to help me stand.

“Everyone goes through shit with their girl, look at us, we weren’t exactly subtle and smooth with Bon and Barbie,” Sparky laughs.

“I meant you two holding me up,” I grunt, “Bang on the door again,” I tell him.

Just as his fist bangs on the wood the door opens and a red eyed Kristen looks stunned to be seeing me here.

“What the hell are you doing out of hospital?” she screeches in panic.

“You left before I could talk.”

With the aid of Cas and Sparky I hop my way to the living room and throw myself on the couch.

“We’ll wait outside,” Cas says, pushing Sparky with him.

Once we were alone she sat at the opposite end of the couch.

“You weren’t wasting any time were you,” I snap, unable to hide the pain in my voice.

“I haven’t been able to bring myself to start actually.”

“Because you know you’re making a fuckin’ mistake,” I grunt.

“Did you make a mistake when you stepped in front of that gun the other night?”

“If it means I’m losing you because of it then yes…I made the biggest mistake of my fuckin’ life.”

Sucking a sharp breath in she looks at me and tears begin to pool in her eyes.

“How did you feel when you saw that gun pointed at my head?” she asks.

“I felt like I was going to die.”

“So how do you think I felt when you purposefully put yourself in that position? That is what scares me Slade, what happens when we build a future together but then you do something like that again and you disappear from us?”

I can’t expect her to give me all of her if I can’t do the same. I never thought I’d see the day I would give up everything for a woman.

Kristen and Zachery have both become a part of me and I want it to be permanent.

“I’ll walk away from it all.”

The words are out of my mouth before I can process them fully and it doesn’t pain me at the thought of not being a Lost Souls.

Her mouth open and closes multiple times before she remains quiet and looks away from me.

“Walk away from what exactly?” she asks.

“From the club, I’ll walk away from anything that makes you stay,” I clarify for her.

When she begins laughing, I am taken aback mainly because it is shaky and sounds off.

“You don’t get it. It isn’t you being a part of the club or anything else. I remember you telling me that club is who you are so I know you won’t be happy if you walk away from it. It is you, the decision you made that scares me.”

“Would you have preferred me to kill a woman?” I ask her, because that was my only other alternative.

“She wasn’t exactly any woman was she and as bad as it sounds, yes, I would have preferred you to shoot her than her shoot you.” She admits.

She must love me if she would have preferred me killing a person rather me getting hurt.

“I promise you I will never, ever do anything to put myself in a position I might not be able to walk away from again. My promise needs to be enough because I don’t want to lose you or Zach. Please believe me darlin’.”

She contemplates what I’ve said before answering, “I desperately want to believe you Slade, I don’t want to leave and Zachery likes it here and is settling in nicely…”

I cut her off because I know she doesn’t want to go and if I can find the right words to fix this I know she will stay.

“I know I fucked up but I’m not letting you walk away after everything we’ve been through. You love me and I love you with everything I have. You have friends here and a home, we can put down roots together. I’m not going anywhere and if that means leaving the club, then that is what I’ll do.” I tell her again so it drums into her.

She stands and begins pacing the room, tears fall freely down her cheeks and I regret that I am the reason for them.

This is it, make or break, stay or go and if she goes then I can’t see any sort of future without her or Zach in it for myself.

I’d always wanted a family and a woman who loved me as much as I loved her and I know I have that with Kristen. She wouldn’t be in so much pain over me if she wasn’t truly in love with me.

“It was a stupid move on my part to stand in her way but I would’ve rather bled out and died then see her hurt you or anyone else.” I reiterate.

She stops pacing and finally comes and sits beside me on the couch. I seize her hand and squeeze it hard getting her to look at me.

“What can I do to prove to you how much I love you?” I murmur.

“Don’t try to get yourself killed would be a start,” she says, half-heartedly.

“Well I can’t do anything for a while,” I laugh, looking down at my thigh.

“Talking of which, you need to get back to the hospital,” she frowns.

I still haven’t heard her say she will stay with me.

“I’m not going anywhere till I know we’re good.”

Her gaze is intense and the silence is unbearable, when she eventually speaks I know this is the beginning of my future, I just hope she is a part of it.

“I don’t expect you to leave the club, in fact I partly fell in love with you because of your loyalty and passion for family. The club doesn’t scare me anymore and I know how much it means to you. If you walked away you wouldn’t be the man I fell in love with.”