Big Sky Rancher (19 page)

“I'll still want you when your hair is white and your face is wrinkled. When you have aches and pains and perhaps illness we can't foresee now. Even then, I'll want you, Jen. Even then.”

She curled against him, uncaring that he had turned her away in her quest to seduce him. Uncaring that he would not make love with her tonight. Only able to hold him close, spend her kisses against his face, her arms circling his neck, her body warming against his. For the words he had just spo
ken were those of a man to the woman he loved, and the thought of Lucas feeling such an emotion for her was almost more than she could take in. She only knew that he'd made it possible for her to want to seduce him.

“When?”

He knew what she asked, and his answer was quick. “When the time is right. Then we'll make love, Jen. And not until then. I rushed you into it the last time. I didn't give you a choice and I was wrong. I came pretty close to forcing you and I'll never do that again.”

He released her and turned on to his back. “Now go back to Susan. You need to be there for her, and I don't think I can keep you here any longer without breaking my promise to myself.”

She rolled from him and stood beside the bed. “I wouldn't have turned you down, Lucas. I came in here ready to… Well, you know why I came in here, don't you?”

“Yeah, I know. But I know it's not the right time for us, Jen. I want you to still like me in the morning.”

She was silent for a moment and then she touched his bare shoulder with her fingertips. “I'll always like you, Lucas. Much more than I should, I'm afraid.”

She crossed to the door and then found her bed.

 

J
ENNIFER SMILED AT HIM
as he entered the dining room and once more he congratulated himself on the self-control he'd wielded last night. It had been the right move, of that he was certain. Had he taken her offer last night, she'd be feeling embarrassed today, maybe resentful of him. As it was she smiled and handed him the baby before she carried the last of the food to the table, then sat next to him.

“I'll take her.” She held out her hands, but Lucas shook his head.

“I'll feed her.” A spoonful of oatmeal found its way to Susan's mouth and she smacked her lips.

“Mmm…” she cooed, grinning, showing off the new teeth that glistened like white pearls. Again he offered the spoon and once more she accepted the offering as if it were her due.

“Why don't y'all put her between you and take turns?” Ida brought an extra chair, settling it at the corner of the table, in easy reach for both Jennifer and Lucas to reach the child with little effort. The plan was a good one, Jennifer realized, for the avid little mouth seemed fashioned after that of a baby robin in the nest, opening regularly toward one, then the other, of the two people who gave her sustenance.

Finally she closed her lips and shook her head. Finishing her own meal took Jennifer but a few moments, and then she rose and lifted Susan to her shoulder.

Lucas tugged at the baby's bare foot. “Time for Lucas to leave,” he said in a singsong voice. He was rewarded by the lunging of a child determined to be in his arms.

“I'll get the lunch pails,” Jennifer said, heading to the kitchen. The men all carried their plates and bowls out without nudging and Ida thanked them.

“Makes it easier on us with the dirty dishes out here right handy to the sink.” She beamed at the miners and they nodded their appreciation. Within ten minutes, they were gone, Lucas the last one out the door, as usual.

He leaned close to Jennifer as she held the baby in one hand, his lunch pail in the other. “See you at suppertime. Miss me, will you?”

She nodded, releasing the handle of his pail into his hand and then accepting the kiss he offered with good grace.

“What's going on with you two?” Ida was bursting with curiosity as they watched the men trail off toward the livery stable.

“Not much.”

“You sleep with him?” Softer and lower, the words nevertheless reached Helen's ears. She perked up and raced over, a smile announcing her approval should such a thing have happened.

“No. Not really. We talked a little.”

Ida laughed. “In his bed?”

Jennifer felt like a squirming worm on a hook. “Well, kind of.” And then she backtracked. “But it's not what you're thinking. It truly isn't. We just talked and then I went and crawled back in bed with the baby.”

“Well, he's makin' progress, anyway,” Ida said. “Won't be long till he has you back home where you belong.”

Jennifer felt wounded by Ida's words. “You don't think I belong here?”

“For now. But in the long run, you need to be with Lucas in his own place, not wearin' yourself out runnin' after a bunch of miners.”

“Maybe.” And that was all she'd say on the subject, Jennifer decided.

 

H
E CAME IN
late for supper, dirty and disheveled, more so than usual. Jennifer left the stack of plates on the dining room table to follow him up the stairs to his room. It was time, she'd decided, to let him know about her parents' arrival, scheduled for tomorrow, according to their letter. Lucas turned to face her just inside his bedroom door.

“Did you come to help me wash up?” His grin made her heart jolt in her chest.

“Not really, but I did make sure you had warm water in your pitcher, and I know you have clean clothes in your drawers.” She closed the door and watched him, her mind racing as she considered her words. The chair next to the door beckoned and she sat on the edge of its seat, her hands clasped in her lap.

“What is it, Jen? You're upset about something.” He squatted in front of her and picked up her fingers in his, looking into her eyes with an intensity that bid her to speak.

“I got a letter yesterday from my parents.”

“You didn't say anything.” And then he waited, watching her.

“I know. I had other things on my mind, but I need to tell you that they'll be arriving tomorrow. They're coming to get Susan.”

“And what do you want me to do?”

“I don't know.” It was a bold-faced lie. She wanted him to hold her close and to promise that nothing could tear the baby from her arms. But that seemed to be a solution impossible for now. Lucas could not make such a vow. And she had less right to Susan than did her parents.

“You want to go home? Back to the farm?” It was an offer she had hoped for, a plea she would have made had he not suggested it himself, and she nodded. “After supper?” he asked.

“I'll go in the morning, after you've gone to your claim. Ida will help me load up what I need and I'll take the wagon.”

“I'd rather be here to help you.” He frowned, deep in thought, it seemed, for in a few moments his face cleared and he spoke quickly, as if he'd reached a decision. “I'll get word to Sandy that I won't be at the claim tomorrow. Once you're settled back at the farm, I'll go out there for an overnight stay and catch up with my share.”

“I don't want to cause trouble for you.” And yet her very soul seemed to yearn for the man and his easy acceptance of her need. “Will you stay with me till my parents arrive?”

“You know I will.” He rose to his feet, pulling her from the chair and gathering her to himself. It was exactly where she'd longed to be and she leaned against his strength. He kissed her, a soft, undemanding kiss of promise, one she welcomed and returned with her whole heart.

“Now, you'd better get downstairs and do something with that stack of plates you left on the table,” he murmured. “I'm gonna get washed and dressed in clean clothes and I'll be down in ten minutes.”

“All right.” Leaving Ida and Helen with the bulk of supper preparation had been a sudden decision, one she knew they would understand. But Lucas was right. She needed to lend a hand.

The women had things pretty much under control, and only cast her inquiring glances as she joined them in the kitchen. “I'm sorry to have run out when I did,” she told them. “It was—”

Ida waved a hand in dismissal. “Don't stew over it. We handled things. The table's set and the food's about ready to carry in.” She aimed a long look at Jennifer. “I hope you got things ironed out between you.”

“Lucas is staying here tomorrow to take me back to the farm. My folks are coming in and they plan on taking Susan back to New York with them.”

Ida paused halfway across the kitchen to shoot a startled look at Jennifer. “And what did Luc say about that?”

Jennifer halted in the midst of tying her apron strings. “He didn't. Just said he'd take me home in the morning. I suspect
he thinks if we're a family, they won't have the heart to ask for Susan.”

Ida's grin was wide, her eyes twinkling as her voice lowered to a near whisper. “I'll warrant if you go to his room tonight, you'll do more than talk, girl.”

A blush climbed Jennifer's cheeks as she picked up twin bowls of potatoes and headed for the dining room door, almost stumbling as she heard the laughter of the two women behind her.

 

I
DA WAS RIGHT
. For when Jennifer opened Lucas's door shortly before midnight, he sat up in bed, limned by the moonlight from his window. One hand was extended to her as the other tossed back the sheet to make an inviting spot available to her. “Come here, Jen.” It was all he needed to say. She crossed the room slowly, as if this were a decision she must be very certain of before she took the final steps.

He clasped her fingers in his palm and pulled her down to the sheet where he lay. “Come. Let me hold you, sweetheart.” It was an invitation she could not resist, nor did she have any desire to deny him this triumph. He was her husband and she yearned to know his caresses, ached to feel his strength again, needed the assurance that he would be there to protect her no matter what the circumstance.

It was simple to lie with him, his arm tugging her against his length, his mouth finding hers to blend their lips in a warmth that gave sustenance to the feelings of desire that had begun to run rampant within her. He did not rush her along the path, allowed her to set the pace she chose, and only responded as she pressed against him with an urgency she didn't fully understand.

She only knew that she must be here, with him, in his arms, and her body ached to contain him, as if she could pull him through her pores, into her very flesh. “I want you, Lucas. I'm not even sure what it is I need from you, but I ache for you to cover me and make me your wife again.”

“I know what you need, Jen,” he whispered. “Shall I show you?”

She nodded, embarrassed at her own ignorance. She was a married woman, and yet, except for one lone experience, she'd savored none of the joys Lucas had spoken of, that long ago night.
I'll have known, just once, what you might have been to me.

And now she'd come to him gladly, willingly, aching for his touch, knowing what his hands and mouth could make her feel, and she reveled in the knowledge that he welcomed her with open arms. For Lucas's elation at her surrender to him could not be mistaken.

“Jen? Let me do this.” He whispered the words in her ear and she nodded, willing to do as he wanted, needing to be anything he desired. For he did desire her, and unless she was mistaken, his words the night before had been those of a man who loved deeply.

If Lucas could spell out the secrets of his heart, could she do no less? “I want you to love me.” It was a whisper he could not help but hear, spoken into his ear with a warm breath that seemed to make him shiver. “Please, Lucas, love me tonight.”

And he did. His arms held her against him for a moment and then he released her, long enough to drag the lengthy folds of her gown from her, tossing it to the floor with a murmur of satisfaction. She lay in front of him, a willing woman, a
wife aching to belong to him, and he bent to her, taking the gift of her body.

It was not as it had been that other time, for she was amenable to his touch, her arms reaching for him, her legs clasping him to herself, her mouth seeking his with kisses rich with passion.

“Tell me, Jen. Tell me.” The words seemed torn from his chest, rough and tormented, as if he could not believe the good fortune she had delivered into his arms.

And she knew what he needed to hear. Knew the words that would fill the aching void within him. “I love you, Lucas. I love you— I need you. Please love me.”

He took the words from her mouth into his, with a kiss that robbed her of her breath, with a muttered repetition of her pledge. They were words he need not have spoken out loud, for she'd known, deep in her heart, that his feelings for her ran deep, that his allegiance to her was permanent, that he had meant every promise he'd made to her the day they were wed.

He filled her, not with only his masculine being, but with the joy of his love, and she basked in the pleasure of his caresses, the delight he offered her, his hands gentle yet strong as he brought her with him to a completion she ached to achieve.

“Lucas…Lucas, I love you.” The words were intense, so filled with an emotion she savored even as she felt a moment of fright, that this man could so possess her, body and soul.

They lay in the middle of the big bed, Lucas holding her fast, her arms around him, in a grip that showed no signs of lessening. “Do you want to stay here tonight?” he asked as she sighed and shifted beneath him.

“I shouldn't leave Susan alone. She might awaken.”

“Then we'll both go back and sleep with her.” It seemed Lucas had made up his mind, for he released her and rolled from the bed. Her nightgown was a pale shadow in the moonlight as he held it in front of her. “Put this back on. We don't want to surprise anyone who might be wandering around the house.”

She stood in front of him and he lowered the gown over her head, then reached for his trousers. Sliding into them, he steered her toward the door, but she paused as his hand touched the knob.