Big Girl Rocking in the Sunshine: Big Girl Series Bk3 (3 page)

“Julian?” Asher’s voice cut through the air, and Julian spun around to see him stepping down out of the bus doorway. He suppressed an urge to punch him in the face. Later. He had to be sure. Asher came around to the front of the bus.

“How’s Alex doing?”

“He’s fine.”
And how’s Shannon doing?
Julian wanted to ask.
How was she doing when you held her in your arms?

“Good. I’m going to go for that walk.”

“Fine.”

“Hope your cheek feels okay. It looks nasty.”

Julian just turned away. If he listened to one more word coming out of Asher’s lying mouth, he would explode. He pulled himself up the bus steps and into the back. Shannon’s headphones covered her ears, and he walked past her to the back.

“Hey there, rock star,” Shannon said, pulling her headphones off. “Didn’t expect you back so soon.”

I bet you didn’t.

Julian opened his backpack and pulled out the flask buried underneath his notebooks and other junk. He hadn’t thought he would need a drink for the rest of the tour. How wrong he had been. His fingers shook as he spun the metal top open and raised the flask to his lips.

The amber liquid stung his throat going down, but even as he swallowed the warmth of the alcohol began to radiate through his body.

“Is Alex okay?”

“He’s fine.”
He’s fine. You’re fine. Asher is more than fine. Everybody in fact, is fine, except for me.
Julian tilted his head back and swallowed another gulp of the bourbon, stifling a cough.

“Are
you
okay?”

Julian stared at the metal rim of the flask. He could smell the bourbon, a honeyed stench that called to him even as his mind dulled with the taste of it.

“I’m fine,” he said. He would deal with it later. Once he knew what he needed to say. Right now he just wanted to stop the pain, to make his feelings go away. He knew it would only take a few more swigs from the flask for the world to melt off of his shoulders. Then he would be able to sleep. The dreams would be bad, but they couldn’t be worse than reality.

CHAPTER THREE

Shannon knew something was wrong. Julian had taken his flask with him into his bunk, drinking more than she had ever seen him drink before. Was it because he was fighting with Alex? When the guys had come back to the bus, they all seemed to be in a decent enough mood, laughing and joking around, but Julian didn’t want to talk to anyone. He shut himself up in his bunk and drank.

Alex waved away her concerns, saying Julian was just bummed. If this was how he acted when he was bummed, Shannon never wanted to see him mad. He had walled himself off completely from her, not saying a word. She decided to let him sleep it off by himself.

When she woke up in the morning, she had a crick in her neck from sleeping on one of the reclining bus seats, and her legs were cramped. Her bra dug into her shoulders from leaving it on overnight. The worst part, though, was the feeling of missing Julian’s arms around her. Sleeping alone wasn’t bad if you were alone, but if the person you loved slept just a few feet away from you, not wanting to be with you?
Unbearable
.

Shannon stretched her arms over her head and yawned, pulling herself out of the seat. She grabbed a bottle of water and brushed her teeth in the sink, trying not to wake anyone else up. When she left the bus to get some fresh air, the sunrise struck her with its breathtaking beauty. The chill in the air prickled her skin, but the sun’s rays creeping over the ocean hinted at the promise of warmth to come. She shivered and rubbed her arms, gazing at the dim light filtering through the palm trees.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”

Shannon turned to see Julian stepping down from the bus behind her. He rubbed his temples with his hands, the aftermath of the bourbon showing through his grimacing smile.

“It is beautiful.”

“Did you want to go see your surprise?” Julian spoke softly, sadly almost, as though he was pushing back some hidden pain. Shannon touched his arm and tried to smile brightly.

“Yes!”

“Are you sure? We don’t have to go if you don’t want to. If you’d rather do something else.”

“No, of course not!” Shannon cocked her head to one side, but she could not read Julian’s expression. What was the surprise? And why was he being so coy?

“Okay, then, let’s go.” He headed off towards the beach.

“We’re walking? Should I bring my camera?”

Julian looked back over his shoulder. “No camera. I just want you.”

Shannon skipped forward to catch up with him, clasping his hand in hers. She could feel him pull away slightly, reluctant, and then allow her fingers to intertwine with his. She considered asking him what was wrong, but after last night it seemed like he didn’t really want to talk. Oh well. At least she could distract him from whatever was weighing on his mind.

They walked along the beach for a half mile. Shannon took off her shoes, letting her feet sink into the cool sand. Letting her hand drop, she walked down to the edge of the ocean, where the low waves washed shockingly cold water over her ankles. The sun soon rose over the horizon, warming her arms, but her feet soon numbed with the cold. She came back to Julian, who was trudging through the dry dune sands. A few intrepid joggers wound their way behind him along the concrete boardwalk.

“Are you excited about tonight?” Shannon said. “Last show of the tour!”

“Hopefully we’re just getting started,” Julian said. He didn’t say anything else, and Shannon didn’t press him. There was a pier up ahead, and as they came upon it Julian raised his head and gestured toward the end of the dock.

“This is your surprise.”

Shannon opened her mouth to say she didn’t understand, but as they walked up the last step of the pier she saw what he was talking about. A row of sailboats was anchored to the end of the pier, rocking gently with the waves. A rush of emotion swept over her and she turned to him, her mouth still agape.

“We’re going sailing?”

“You said you wanted to. Well, technically you said a
sunset
sail, but we’re playing shows every night. So I thought—”

Shannon threw herself into Julian’s arms with such force that he spun in a circle to keep his balance.

“You’re amazing!” She felt a childlike sense of glee. She had never been sailing before. She beamed. Julian smiled back at her, but it was a small smile, and she felt that she had disappointed him in some way.

“Let’s go,” he said, motioning for her to continue down the dock. The man sitting in the rental cabin got out as soon as he saw Julian and pointed out the last sailboat on the end. It wasn’t a particularly big boat, maybe fifteen feet long, but the mast loomed overhead menacingly.

“How do I get in?”

Julian held out his hand to support her. She stepped into the boat carefully, her weight tilting precariously to one side before Julian caught her and eased her down onto the seat.

“Just sit there until we’re out on the ocean,” he said. His fingers quickly untied the knots on the mast, and he pulled the main sail up. The fabric caught in the light breeze and snapped open, the boat leaning to one side as the wind filled the sail.

“You’ve done this before, right?” Shannon asked.

“Don’t worry,” Julian said. “You know how to swim, right?”

Shannon’s eyes went wide as Julian put one foot on the pier and pushed off, swinging the boat around and sitting down next to Shannon. He took the steering rod, or whatever it was called, and turned the boat so that the sail stopped flapping, caught by the wind. The boat took off more quickly than Shannon expected, and after just a few seconds they were skimming across the water, the pier disappearing into the distance behind them.

“This is the boom,” Julian said, tapping his fingers on the metal part underneath the sail. “Don’t stand up while we’re turning, or it’ll hit you on the head.”

Shannon nodded. Julian named all of the other parts of the boat, but her attention was drawn to the wide white sail reflecting the morning sunlight above their heads. Behind them the sailboat left a small white wake in the dark ocean water. The whole scene filled her with delight.

They sailed on for a few minutes in silence, Julian adjusting the angle of the boat whenever the sail started to droop. Shannon leaned back, letting the sun warm her even as the cool air streamed across her skin. With every minute came a new pleasure - the salty smell of the air, the echoes of gulls flying overhead.She dipped one hand into the ocean over the side of the boat, letting the cold water stream through her fingers. The boat was moving slower, the wind easing up as they entered a calm spot in the ocean.

“Eeeeeh!” Shannon squealed. She pulled her hand up from the water. “What was that?!”

Julian looked behind them and chuckled.

“The kelp?”

Shannon turned to see. Sure enough, a giant floating mess of seaweed stretched alongside her side of the boat. The green tendrils drifted slowly in the waves, their broad leaves interspersed with bulbous nodes.

“It looks like an alien,” Shannon said. “Or the Loch Ness monster.”

“It might be,” Julian said. He had moved up to the front of the boat and was letting the main sail down. “Only one way to be sure.”

Before Shannon could say anything, Julian had secured down the sail and hopped up to the side. She yelped as he dove gracefully off of the boat into the dark ocean, disappearing with a small splash over the side.

“Julian!”

She stood up and looked down into the water, but she couldn’t see anything. Had he swum under the boat? Her eyes darted across the surface of the waves. Where the hell was he? Her heart began to beat faster. It had been too long. A minute, maybe more.

“Julian!”

A splash from behind made her spin around, tilting the boat. She inhaled sharply, grabbing the side for balance. Julian was treading water just behind the boat, a giant leaf of kelp on his head like an ill-fitting hat.

“I am the San Diego monster,” he said in a deep voice. “Obey my command.”

“Anything you wish, monster,” Shannon said, tilting her head. “I will obey.”

A funny look came over Julian’s face.

“Come in,” he said.

“In? It’s cold!” Shannon wasn’t wearing anything that she could swim in, anyway. At least Julian had his swim trunks on.

“It’s not that bad,” Julian said. “At least not once you get used to being numb.”

“You’re really selling this,” Shannon said.

“Come on,” Julian asked, and in his voice was a neediness that Shannon was unused to. “You said you would obey.”

“What should I wear?” Shannon asked. “I didn’t bring a bathing suit.”

“We’re out in the middle of the ocean,” Julian said. “You don’t need a bathing suit.” He swam up to the side of the boat. “Hurry up, my balls are starting to shrivel.”

“Heaven forbid,” Shannon said, darting a glance around the ocean before starting to strip. He was right. The ocean around them was empty for as far as she could see. The sun’s rays warmed every inch of her body as she took off her shirt, then her bra, then everything else. She moved to the back of the boat, letting her legs swing over the side.

“Are you sure?” she said. Her toes were already numb with the coldness of the water. Julian swam up and put his arm around her, splashing cold water onto her skin. She squealed, and he pulled her entirely off of the boat. They splashed backwards into the water together, Shannon gasping for breath in the cold waves, feeling completely vulnerable in her naked state. She held onto Julian’s hand as she treaded water, her heart pounding as her body adjusted to the cold.

“It’s freezing,” she gasped.

“Just a little nippy,” Julian said. He let go of Shannon’s hand and swam backwards, letting himself float on his back. Shannon took a deep breath and followed suit.

Floating on the surface of the ocean, she felt weightless, insignificant. Her breasts rose above the surface of the water, her nipples hard with the chill of the morning air. As she lay motionless, letting her body move with the slow waves, she accepted the cold and rose above it. It seemed to her that she was outside of her own body, part of the ocean itself. The sun shone down and warmed her face even as the cold water chilled every other part of her. It was entirely silent out here, silent and peaceful.

Then a tendril of kelp brushed her foot and she kicked out instinctively, breaking the silence with her splashing. She looked around to find Julian, who was already over by the side of the boat. He swung himself over easily and motioned for her to come back. She swam to the boat slowly, savoring the cold on her body. When she got to the side of the boat, Julian reached down and helped her over.

It was a strange feeling to come out of the water, her body weighing her down as she rose from the black waves. Every inch of her was covered in goosebumps, and she shivered uncontrollably.

“Here,” Julian said, handing her a towel. She accepted it gratefully, her teeth chattering. As she dried herself, she noticed Julian watching her with hungry eyes as he toweled himself off. She finished patting down her wet hair and handed the towel back to him.

“Can I have my clothes?” she asked. They lay on the seat right next to Julian, but instead of picking them up he brushed them aside and leaned forward. The boat tilted in the water as he came over to her and pressed his lips hard against hers.

“Julian? Julian!” She yelped as he released her, sending the boat rocking. He tore off his shirt and his swim trunks, tossing them aside.

“Julian,” she began to protest, but his mouth was on hers again and he was pulling her down to the floor of the boat with him. She had never felt his embrace like this, so needy, so demanding. He did not say a word as he threw her roughly to the bottom of the boat and pressed himself on top of her. She could feel his erection against her stomach growing harder and harder as he kissed her, his mouth stifling her words.