Big Girl Rocking in the Sunshine: Big Girl Series Bk3 (2 page)

They caught up to Asher and Daniel outside.

“Okay, so let’s plan on doing things like normal.” Julian’s voice was shaky but firm. “Practice and sound check tomorrow at three o clock.”

“Like normal?” Asher said, his forehead wrinkled in thought. “Is Alex still in the band?”

“Of course he is.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure about that. Pat was texting Serene,” Daniel said. It was so rare for Daniel to speak up that everyone stopped and gave him their full attention.

“Who’s Serene?” Asher said.

“Serene from Wave Records,” Daniel explained patiently. “The one who writes your checks.”

“Oh.”

“How do you know?” Julian asked.

“Because that’s his text message ringtone for Wave. Remember that one night he was texting her about the recording?” Daniel said it as though it was the most obvious thing in the world, but it was apparent that nobody else knew what he was talking about.

“Well, anyway, he’s texting Serene. So whatever it is, it’s serious,” Daniel said.

“Okay, even so, we should chill out and tomorrow plan on doing everything just like normal in the afternoon. Just like the show’s the same.”

“So we’re playing tomorrow?” Asher asked hopefully.

“Until we hear otherwise, we’re playing tomorrow.”

Daniel hugged his bass.

“I think I’ll go practice.”

“I’m going to take a long walk,” Asher said. “Maybe skate some.” He shook his arms. “I’ve got this weird energy in me, you know?”

“Okay,” Julian said. “Have fun checking out San Diego. See you guys tomorrow at three.”

They left the building, the crowd’s roar echoing through the opened door. Shannon waited until they were gone to speak.

“Are you okay?” she asked Julian.

“I’m fine,” he said, rubbing his face with a balled-up fist. “Just a little bruised, I think.”

“Did you know?”

“Know?” Julian looked up at her, realizing her meaning as soon as the word left his mouth.

“Kind of,” he said. “At least, I think we all suspected.”

“I should call Jason,” Shannon said. “Tell him not to talk to anybody. If he hasn’t already.” The words came out bitter. Jason was her best friend, and if he did anything rash she might have to choose between the band and him.

“I’ll meet you back on the bus tonight, then.”

“Where are you going?”

“I need to talk to Alex.”

“What?!” Shannon put her hands on her hips.

“I’m the closest to him. He’ll need someone to talk to about all this.”

“He punched you!”

“Shannon.” Julian reached out and took her hands in his. She felt the warm stirrings of desire run up her arms. “He’s my friend. And my bandmate. I can’t let him go through this alone.”

Shannon gulped down her objections. If Julian wanted to talk to Alex, then he should. She knew how important the band was to him.

“Okay,” she said. “I’ll see you later.”

“Hey,” he said. “I have a surprise for you. For tomorrow.”

Shannon’s mood lifted.

“A surprise? What is it?”

“You’ll love it.”

“Argh, you never tell me anything.” Shannon’s brow furrowed happily. “What is it?”

“Nope, not until tomorrow.”

“Well,” she said, “it can’t be more of a surprise than what’s already happened today.”

Julian’s laugh came out as a cough.

“A different kind of surprise, I’m hoping.” He opened the door for Shannon, and a dozen flashing bulbs caught her happy smile. The crowd screamed Julian’s name, and Alex’s, but he ignored them, looking only into Shannon’s eyes.

“Good,” she said. “I can’t wait.”

CHAPTER TWO

Julian kissed Shannon goodbye, eliciting a roar from the mob of fans that were watching them. She walked away and he watched her go. Her camera swung back and forth, her hips swaying as she walked. She was the sexiest woman he’d ever known. But there was only one more day on tour, and then the band would have to leave California.

His heart ached at the thought of leaving her. It was unfair of him to expect her to drop her life and come with him. He would never make her choose between his goals and hers. After his dad had died, Julian had seen how hard it was for his mom to raise him alone. She had quit her college classes and given up on her dream. There was no way he would do that to Shannon. Absolutely not.

He walked back through the crowd of screaming fans. Security guards pushed back the photographers and swooning girls. One reporter pushed her way to the front.

“Julian! Julian!”

He turned to look at her.

“What do you think about the recent rumors that Alex Wilder is gay?”

Julian frowned. It had already come to that.

“No comment,” he said.

“But the photographs-”

“No comment.” He made his way back up the stairs and closed the door behind him. The screams of the crowd faded to a dull roar, like the waves of the ocean crashing on the cliffs far away. Pat was standing outside of Alex’s dressing room, looking none too happy.

“Don’t go in there,” he said when Julian got closer. “I’ve already got one PR disaster on my hands, I don’t need another.”

“It’s okay,” Julian said. “I’m not going to get into another fight.”

“You’d better not,” Pat said. “I don’t want to replace a singer AND a guitarist.”

Julian leaned forward, his tall stature looming over Pat’s.

“We’re not replacing anybody,” Julian said.

“I don’t… I mean-” Pat stammered, but Julian didn’t want to hear any of it. He pushed the shorter man aside and knocked on the door twice before opening it.

Alex was sitting in a chair facing the dressing room mirror, his head buried in his hands. Although he was the tallest member of the band, right now he seemed small, shrunk into himself. Julian closed the door behind him and went over, pulling another chair up beside Alex and sitting down.

“I’m sorry,” Alex said, before Julian had a chance to get any words out. When he lifted his head, Julian could see that his eyes were rimmed red.

“Hey, forget it. It won’t even leave a bruise. You hit like a goddamn girl anyway.”

Alex’s face pulled into a small smile.

“I’m still sorry.”

“Yeah, well I’m sorry too.” Julian leaned forward, resting his arm on the counter. “I shouldn’t have gotten carried away. It’s just, you know, this girl…”

“You really like her.” Alex smiled. “I can tell. We can all tell. It’s pretty goddamn adorable, if we’re being perfectly honest with each other.”

“Are we being honest with each other?”

Alex looked up at Julian, guilt written all over his face.

“I’m sorry. I should have told you. I thought you would have figured it out by now, anyway.”

“I had my suspicions.”

“Did anybody else in the band know?”

“What, that you’re secretly gay?” Julian shrugged. “I don’t know. Daniel maybe. Who knows what that guy thinks about apart from how horrible it sounds if the string on his bass is a nanometer too tight.”

Alex let a half-smile slip out from his tearful face.

“And Asher? Asher believes anything you tell him. He’s like a little kid. If we told him you were secretly Santa Claus, I think he would probably believe it.”

“Pat’s going nuts over this.” Alex ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know what he’s going to do besides kick me out of the band.”

“He’s not going to kick you out of the band. I won’t let him.
We
won’t let him. You think we can do this without you?”

Alex stood up and began to pace the small room.

“I just can’t believe I fucked up so bad. I ruined it, I ruined everything. We’ve spent so much time building our rep, and for what?” Alex’s eyes were filling up quickly with angry tears. “So I can throw it all away for one night with some hot guy.”

“Was he hot?”

“
Super
hot.” Alex stopped pacing and looked straight at Julian. “You have no idea.”

Julian grinned.

“So it was worth it.”

“Not if it costs us everything.” Alex’s face crumpled and he leaned against the wall.

Julian shook his head.

“We still have Europe, we have the new album for the end of the year…”

“I’m not sure I should still be here.”

Julian stood up and went over to Alex.

“Hey.
Hey
. Listen to me. The whole band started with you. Your name, your ideas, your songs.”

“And it’ll end with that photo.” Alex nodded to the television, where they were showing the candid snapshot for the umpteenth time. Julian reached over and switched the TV off.

“Not unless you let it. Fuck Pat, who cares what he thinks. The fans love
you
. We just have to re-brand a bit.”

Alex bit his lip, but Julian could tell the wheels in his head were starting to move again. Good. Alex was always at his best when he was solving a problem.

“Okay,” he said. “Okay. I’ll think about it.”

“That’s the spirit.” Julian cuffed Alex on the shoulder. “Now get working on some new marketing ideas for us. I’m down for anything as long as it doesn’t involve me wearing rainbow colored spandex.”

Alex pouted.

“So my new YMCA cover band approach won’t cut it?” They both laughed, and a little bit of tension seeped out of the room. Julian could see Alex standing up straighter, pulling himself together.

“Thanks man,” Alex said. “I don’t know how you can stand to come cheer me up after I’ve punched you in the face, but you’re a good guy.”

Julian shifted his weight, uncomfortable at the compliment. Asher was a good guy. Daniel was a good guy.
Julian
- he had issues, not the least of which was his struggle with the bottle. There was no way he could be the good guy.

“Hey, you pull me up when I’m down, I pull you up when you’re down. Deal?”

Julian stuck his hand out and Alex took it, shaking it firmly.

“Deal.”

“Okay, rock star, let’s get some sleep before our last show tomorrow.”

“Not our last show,” Alex pointed out. “We still have Europe.”

“Right,” Julian said. “So you
haven’t
given up already.”

Alex grinned, realizing his slip.

“Okay, so I really want to go on tour in Paris.”

“Uh huh,” Julian said. “What you
really
want is a menage a trois with two cute French guys.”

“Ha, I wish! What about you? Are you taking Shannon if we still do the Europe tour?”

Julian frowned. He had been putting off talking with Shannon about it, since he wasn’t sure how she would react. And now with all news fiasco about Alex, he didn’t know if the tour was even happening.

“We’ll see,” he said. “She’s still finishing up her senior year at college.”

“I like her,” Alex said. “She seems like a catch.”

“Hands off!” Julian said, waving one finger admonishingly at Alex.

“Hey! Didn’t you hear the rumors? I’m gay!” He gave Julian a wry smirk.

“Okay, Mr. sexy gay rock star, go get some sleep.”

“Okay, Mr. sexy straight rock star.”

Julian punched Alex in the shoulder fondly as a goodbye. Leaving the dressing room, he avoided Pat’s gaze. It didn’t matter what the damn manager said. Alex was the heart of the band, and Julian wasn’t about to throw him to the wolves just because of his sexuality. There had to be something they could do to fix this. Julian knew they would do just fine as long as they stuck together.

But they
had
to stick together.

***

Julian walked to the tour bus quickly, his arms prickling with goosebumps. After sunset, the temperature had dropped fast. San Diego was part desert, after all. The fog coming off of the ocean rolled slowly through the streets and gave the streetlights strange halos. The tour bus too, parked alone in the back parking lot of the building, threw shadows from the curtained light coming from inside.

Julian was almost to the front of the bus when he heard noises coming from inside. Talking.
Strange
. He had thought Shannon would be alone. He peered into the open door, not wanting to bother her in case she was on the phone with her mom. Maybe she was talking to that Jason friend of hers to see what was up.

As he looked into the bus, Julian’s heart dropped into his stomach. Shannon had her arms around Asher and was hugging him tightly, her eyes closed. He was hugging her back.

No. Not Asher.
Julian froze, unsure of what he should do. He wanted to scream, to run in and hit Asher across the face, but every muscle in his body had turned to lead and his breath was shallow. As Shannon opened her eyes, Julian shifted back so that they couldn’t see him.

“Will you come with me tomorrow?” Asher said. Julian craned his neck to see the two of them better.

“I can’t,” Shannon said. “I have to go somewhere with Julian.”

“That sucks,” Asher said. Shannon reached out and put her hand on his shoulder, and Julian inhaled through his teeth, seething. He had never thought that Shannon would betray him like this. And Asher? Asher, the good guy? Asher, who didn’t have a single negative thing to say about anyone, ever? How could he do this to his bandmate?

“I wish I could be there with you,” she said.

“Me too,” Asher said. “But I understand. Thanks. And thanks for tonight.”

Shannon leaned in for another embrace, and Julian forced himself to keep his eyes open, watching as her hands moved slowly along Asher’s back, caressing his shoulders. Those hands that had held him just the day before, those hands that had run through his own hair, stroking his skin…

“You’re a great guy,” Shannon said.

“And you’re a beautiful girl.” Asher cupped one hand to Shannon’s cheek, and Shannon giggled. It was that sound, the peals of her sweet laughter, that broke Julian’s heart. He tore himself away from the bus door and bent over, his head between his legs. He stumbled to the front of the bus, gagging on the roiling pain in his stomach. His mind was blank with anger and betrayal.

Shannon. Asher. How could I have been so blind?
They had been spending more and more time together, talking on the bus and going for walks. Stretching their legs, they had said.
More like spreading your legs.
Julian heaved again, a dry retching that left him shaking and frail on his feet. He had never felt like this before. A black hatred surged through his body, and his fists balled up against his thighs. Asher had tried to convince him in LA to go after Shannon, to bring her on tour. Now he knew why.