Big Girl (2010) (25 page)

The next day Victoria waited till a decent hour to call her between classes. Gracie had just gotten up, after crying most of the night. She said Harry hadn't called, and the last time she had talked to him, he had again threatened to cancel the wedding, as though Gracie had done something wrong by calling him on his behavior and telling him what she'd seen.

"Let him," Victoria said harshly. She hoped he would.

"I don't want him to cancel it," Gracie said, weeping again, and Victoria was panicked. She couldn't marry this man. He hadn't even apologized for what he'd done, and showed no remorse, all of which were terrible signs. He was a badly behaved rich boy who did what he wanted, and was threatening his future wife instead of prostrating himself at her feet, begging her forgiveness, which would have been a start, and maybe still not enough. It wouldn't have been for Victoria.

"Just get on the plane. We'll talk about it here. Tell Mom and Dad you want to visit me. Besides, I want you to meet Collin." She had told her all about him, although this didn't seem like a good time for them to meet.

"What if he gets madder because I go to New York?" She sounded panicked.

"Gracie, are you nuts? What if
he
gets madder? He cheated on you. You're the one who's supposed to be mad. Not him."

"He said I was sneaking around, spying on him."

"Were you?"

"No, I was going to see Heather to show her my dress sketches," she explained again.

"Exactly, so he's full of shit. And a cheater. Come to New York." She reminded her of the flight time, and Gracie had ample time to make it.

"Okay. I'll come. I'll see you later," she said, sounding nervous, but she wasn't crying. Victoria had put her on a noon flight out of L.A., and it was due to land at JFK at eight
P.M
. New York time. Victoria was planning to go to the airport to get her. She was going to take a seven o'clock shuttle, which she had already booked. Her cell phone rang at six
P.M.
, while she was at her apartment, getting organized for Gracie, and changing her sheets.

It was Gracie on the phone, and Victoria was confused. "Where are you? Are you calling from the plane, or did you land early?"

"I'm in L.A." She sounded upset and guilty. "Harry just left. He said he'll forgive me and he won't cancel the wedding if I drop this whole thing, and don't do it again." She sounded like a robot, and Victoria felt nuts.

"Do what again? Get cheated on? What is he talking about? What are you not supposed to do again?" Her voice was shaking out of anger and concern for her sister. Harry was turning the tables on Gracie and blaming her, when he was so blatantly at fault, not her sister.

"Spy on him, and accuse him of things." She was crying, but Victoria couldn't hear it. "He says I don't know what I'm talking about, and all he did was kiss her, and it's none of my fucking business anyway."

"Is this who you want to marry?" Victoria was shouting. She was alone in the apartment and at her wits' end.

"Yes," Gracie said sadly, and then started to sob. "I do. I don't want to lose him. I love him."

"You're never going to have him, except in name, if he's already cheating on you. That's not enough. He's blackmailing you into silence, Grace. He's telling you that if you call him on his shit, even if he's wrong, he'll abandon you. He's an asshole!" Gracie just cried harder.

"I don't care. I love him!" She was suddenly angry at her sister, instead of her future husband, for making her face the truth, which was too frightening for her to deal with. "He says he won't cheat on me when we're married."

"Do you believe him?"

"Yes! He wouldn't lie to me."

"He just did," Victoria pointed out in a tone of despair. "He was out with another woman two nights ago. You saw him. And he didn't go home. You told me so yourself. Is that the life you want?"

"No, he won't do that. He said so. He's just having wedding jitters."

"Wedding jitters don't make you a cheater, or they shouldn't. And if they do, there shouldn't be a wedding."

"I don't care what you say," Gracie said venomously. Victoria was dragging her into the light of truth, and she was doing everything to escape and take solace in Harry's lies. "We love each other, and we're getting married. And he's not a cheater."

"No, he's a great guy," Victoria said caustically, "This is disgusting, and you're the one who's going to pay the price."

"No, I'm not," Gracie said. "It's going to be fine." Victoria knew it wouldn't, and Gracie didn't want to hear it.

"Are you coming to New York?" Victoria asked in a dead voice.

"No. Harry doesn't want me to. He says I have too much to do here, and he'd miss me too much." And he didn't want his naive future wife influenced by her wiser older sister, who wasn't snowed by him. Victoria could figure that out easily.

"I'll bet. He just doesn't want you talking to me. Do whatever you want, Gracie. Just know that I'm here for you." And she knew that sooner or later, her little sister would need her. It broke her heart. And she couldn't help wondering, as they hung up, if this had happened to her mother too. Maybe her father had cheated on her too at some point, and that was why he was willing to give Harry a pass. He shouldn't have otherwise, for his daughter's sake, money or not. Money wasn't going to give her happiness if Harry was a cheater or a bad guy. But he liked the prestige the alliance gave him by reflection.

Victoria thought about calling her father, but it seemed pointless. He wouldn't listen to her either. He was too invested in Gracie's marriage, for the wrong reasons. The three of them were in collusion to get her married to Harry Wilkes, come hell or high water. And it sounded like hell to Victoria. She called Collin and told him what had happened, and he was upset for her. He knew how much she cared about her sister, and this sounded like a bad situation to him.

"It's a shame your parents aren't being smarter than this."

"They're fools, and they like his name. And she's a very foolish child. She thinks that if she loses him, there will never be anyone else like him. She's going to be miserable with him one day." Collin didn't disagree. And she was depressed about it that night. She sent Gracie a text telling her that she loved her, but she didn't call her. There was nothing she could say, except the truth.

And Dr. Watson wasn't much help the next day. She said the same thing she had all along, even now, after Harry had cheated on Grace, or it looked that way.

"These are her decisions," she reminded Victoria, "and her life. I agree fully with what you're saying. He's blackmailing her, he's controlling, and he's probably dishonest. But she's the only one who can stand up to that and either change it or walk away. You have no part in this." She was definite about it, and it made Victoria angry at her too. She felt helpless.

"So I have to sit by and watch?" Victoria had tears of rage and frustration in her eyes.

"No, you have to lead your own life. Concentrate on your life with Collin, and I'm glad it's going well. There is nothing you can or should do about your sister's life, or her marriage. This is entirely her choice, whether good or bad, and no matter what you think."

"Even at twenty-two, when she doesn't know any better and needs guidance?" Victoria cringed at what Dr. Watson was saying, especially because it was true.

"That's right. She's not asking you for guidance. She's telling you to back off." Victoria knew the therapist was right, which only made her fight harder.

"So she can buy into his lies?" She looked outraged.

"Yes, if that's what she wants to do, and apparently it is. I don't like it either, and hearing stories like this disturbs me too. But your hands are tied."

"I hate this." She was fiercely upset by Gracie's marrying him. But she didn't want to lose her relationship with her sister over this, and she knew she could. Harry had her sister blackmailed into silence, aided and abetted by her youth and neediness and their father's narcissism and greed. He wanted his daughter married to a Wilkes, at any price, so he could show off. And Gracie was afraid to lose Harry. Victoria was afraid her sister was about to lose herself, which was worse.

The next jolt after that was a call from Grace a week later. As maid of honor, she wanted Victoria to plan a "destination bachelorette weekend" in Las Vegas for her, with all ten of her bridesmaids, including Victoria, which sounded hideous to her. When Victoria inquired, Gracie said everything was great with Harry and changed the subject. She had been threatened into the silence he wanted, even with her sister. If Gracie was worried, she wouldn't admit it. All she wanted was for Victoria to organize what sounded like a ghastly weekend to her. She really didn't want to organize it or go, and she didn't want to enable her marriage to a jerk, but she didn't have the guts to refuse either.

"Don't people just go out to dinner anymore for a bachelorette party? Who has time for a destination weekend?" Only people with a lot of money who didn't work, which was not the case for her.

"No, people do destinations now. Harry had his in St. Bart's last week. They went for five days," Gracie said, and Victoria didn't want to imagine what had gone on there.

She sighed loudly, unhappy with the plan. "Send me a list of what you want, and I'll see what I can do. Isn't there someone else who can do this? I work, Gracie, and I'm dealing with the time difference. You're all on the West Coast, and none of you work." All of her bridesmaids were spoiled rich girls being supported by their parents, or still in school.

"You're the maid of honor, you're supposed to do it," she said stubbornly, and Victoria felt guilty. The relationship as sisters was strained to the max these days over this wedding.

"When do you want to go?" Victoria asked, sounding discouraged.

"In May," Gracie said happily, oblivious to her sister's discomfort.

"Okay. I'll take care of it. I love you," Victoria said sadly, and hung up. Gracie had promised to send her all the names and details. And she said their father was paying for that too. He was shelling out big time for this alliance, and would have done none of it for Victoria, she knew. He had even said so to her and told her to elope if she ever found a husband.

Fortunately, in spite of all the stresses over the wedding, things were going well with Collin, but Victoria didn't consider it good news when she got a call from her mother, saying that her father had to see a client in New York and they were coming in for two days. That was all Victoria needed, and they knew about Collin, so she knew they'd want to meet him. And she had met his parents. She hated the things she knew her father would say about her. She told Collin that night.

"Will you have dinner with them with me?" she asked him with a woebegone look, and he smiled and kissed her.

"Of course."

"And while we're on the subject, there's something I want to ask you."

"The answer is yes," he teased her. "What's the question?" He knew how upset and anxious she was these days, and he felt sorry for her. She was worried for her sister, justifiably, from all he'd heard.

"Will you go to my sister's wedding with me?" she asked, and he smiled at her.

"I thought you'd never ask."

"Everyone else looks gorgeous in the bridesmaid dress, and I look like shit in it. Be prepared. You won't be proud of me," she said with tears in her eyes.

"I
will
be proud of you, and to be with you. And you couldn't look like shit if you tried. When are your parents coming, by the way?"

"In two days." She made it sound like the end of the world, and it was to her. Her father would make a fool of her in front of the man she loved and prove how unlovable she was. And what if Collin believed him? It didn't occur to her that it would make her father look bad and not her. Collin knew just how lovable she was.

She made the calls for Vegas the next day, although Dr. Watson reminded her that she could refuse to if she wanted to. But she didn't want to disappoint Gracie. She never did.

And her parents arrived in New York the day after. They were staying at the Carlyle, and invited her and Collin to the Bemelmans Bar for drinks. As it turned out, her parents had to dine with her father's client and didn't have time for dinner with them, which was a blessing. Drinks would be enough. She knew her father could destroy her in five minutes--he didn't need a whole evening to do it.

She could see immediately how impressed her father was with Collin, and how surprised he looked, as though he couldn't believe that Collin would be with someone like her. Victoria couldn't believe it either, but he wanted to be with her and had proven it abundantly for the last four months.

Everyone was on their best behavior, and they'd been chatting for half an hour when her father commented that he hoped she was watching what she ate so she'd fit into the maid of honor dress her sister had ordered for her. Victoria stiffened when he said it.

"I've lost weight, Dad," she said quietly, "and we go to the gym every day."

"I'm sure you're a good influence on her," he said, smiling broadly at Collin, who looked guarded as he waited to see what would come next. "Watch out for the ice cream, though," he said with the laughter she hated. Neither he nor her mother had noticed the weight she'd lost, nor her new nose, which Collin didn't know about either. She'd never told him. She didn't think he needed to know. He turned to Collin then and told him what a great guy Harry was, and how pleased they were about the marriage.

Victoria spoke up in a clear voice then. "No, he's not a great guy, Dad. He cheated on her, and you know it." Her father looked startled for a minute, to be called on it. He looked at Victoria intently.

"Just some harmless high jinks," he said blithely. "All boys do things like that before they get married. It takes the pressure off." He winked at Collin, as though he would agree with him. Collin did not return the wink.

"How can you let her marry someone who is already cheating on her before the wedding?" Victoria said, looking upset, as her mother pretended not to hear her and sipped her drink, staring into space. She had checked out.