Bia's War (29 page)

“‘I am, Sammy.’ I said. ‘I can
face this if I know that I’ve got you at my side.’”

“We reached the shop in Queen
Street before any townsfolk plucked up the courage to venture
outside and assess the damage done that night. Annie was in the
kitchen with Hannah and her sisters and her face was creased with
the concern she had been feeling all night. Sam sent the three
girls up to Hannah’s bedroom so that they wouldn’t hear what
William and Peter had done. Sam would give them the expurgated
version later. True to his word that he would always support me it
was Sam who explained to Annie what had happened at the warehouse.
She took the news of Peter’s death better than I had expected her
to, although she shed tears over it. His death didn’t knock her off
her feet, as Simon’s death had knocked me, and I admired her even
more for her courage and fortitude.”

“It didn’t take Annie long to
absorb all that had happened that night and she was ready with her
sympathy for me over Simon’s death, although she didn’t waste any
of it on William.”

“‘Yon lad was always too wrapped
up in himself and how he was feeling,’ was her conclusion to what
William had said and done. ‘It’s no surprise to me that he would
put himself before the bairn, although that little mite didn’t
deserve to die for his father’s weaknesses. I can understand
Dennison wanting revenge for his lad’s death when he found out how
it had happened, but he must have been a twisted, evil bugger to
try and get that revenge by killing a child. I don’t blame him for
wanting William dead, but he should have concentrated on William
and left the rest of the family alone.’”

“‘But you’ve lost Peter,’ I said
to her, amazed that she could look at all that had happened so
logically.”

“ ‘I know that, pet,’ she
answered, ‘And I’ll grieve for him for the rest of my life, believe
me, but he chose the way he was going to die. Not many folk get to
make that choice, certainly little Simon didn’t. I’m just glad that
he didn’t have to spend years in prison for what he did. And, if
I’m being honest, I won’t have to worry about what’s going to
happen to him after I’ve gone. He would never have been able to
care for himself, not with his handicap, and I’ve worried all his
life about how he would cope when I died. He’s saved me that worry
now.’”

“‘I would have cared for him,
Annie.’ I cried, hurt that she thought I would have abandoned
Peter. ‘I would have looked after him for the rest of my life and
loved him like my own.’”

“‘I know you would have done,
lass, but it wouldn’t have been fair on you,’ Annie answered. ‘He
wasn’t your responsibility, even though you seem to think that you
have to take on the cares of the world. No, it’s better like this
and I think Peter knew that, even if he couldn’t have put it into
words.’”

“I was ready to argue this
point, but Sam interrupted before I could begin.”

“‘I know you want to talk about
this, you two, but Bia and I need to get down to the docks. It
would look suspicious if we didn’t turn up at the same time as
everyone else, when so many people know that we were out searching
for William and Simon earlier this evening. We can’t risk any out
–of- the -ordinary behaviour at the moment. I can hear people out
in the street and it’s time we joined them. Can you manage it,
Bia?’”

“I assured him that I could and
would do all that was needed that night and, after hugging Annie,
we left her to look after Sam’s three daughters and made our way,
once more, to the docks.”

Nana Lymer fell silent at this
point and Victoria took the opportunity to take hold of her hand
and rub it gently, rather like her Granddad Sam had done that
long-ago night during the First World War. The more she heard about
the events of that time, the more she pitied her grandmother,
wishing that she could do something to alleviate the pain she must
be feeling. She wasn’t sure if she should comment on what Nana had
told her or if she should ask questions about the events (and she
had a stack of questions rocketing through her brain) or if she
should let Nana Lymer take the lead and wait for her comments. It
was a few moments before she realised that Nana was watching her
face, as though to gauge her reactions to what she had heard.

“Do you think we did the wrong
thing, keeping the truth a secret all these years?” Nana asked when
she knew she had Victoria’s attention.

“No, Nana.” Victoria’s reply
came very quickly. “I don’t think you could have done anything
else. Nobody would have gained anything by learning the truth and
you and Granddad and Annie would all have suffered in other ways if
the truth had come out. The pig butcher was dead, so he paid for
the murders he had committed; William was dead, so he paid for his
cowardice and his shameful abandonment of his son; Peter was dead,
so he wouldn’t have to suffer a trial for what he had done; and
Simon was dead, although, if there was any justice in this world,
he should never have died. The outcome was the best for all
concerned. It made the best of a bad job, as Mam would say. You
don’t feel guilty about it, surely, do you?”

Nana thought about this for a
while and then spoke.

“No. I don’t feel guilty about
it. I’ve always felt that it seemed a neatly tied bundle, solving a
lot of problems without adding more. Of course, Annie and I both
lost a son, but how could we complain about that when so many other
mothers lost their sons during that terrible time. And both of them
died quickly, not screaming in an agony that went on for hours. You
have to learn to be grateful for small mercies in this life.”

Nana Lymer suddenly snuggled
further down into her bed, her eyes heavy and her face pale.
Victoria was immediately all concern, knowing that her Nana had
spoken for far too long that day and that she had raked up memories
that must have been very painful for her.

“You go to sleep, Nana,” she
said. “I’ll go and help Mam with the tea and bring it up for you
when it’s ready.”

“Good lass,” Nana managed to
whisper. “It’s made me very tired today, going over that terrible
night. I think we should manage to finish the story tomorrow, and
then I can die content that Simon and Peter haven’t been
forgotten.”

“Nana! You aren’t going to die
anytime soon. Don’t be silly!” But Victoria realised her protests
were falling on deaf ears. Her grandmother was fast asleep, with a
slight smile on her lips and the lines of old age hardly
apparent.

Chapter Fourteen

Victoria was making her
breakfast the next morning when her mother slammed into the
kitchen, throwing some bacon and a loaf of bread that she had
brought out of the shop, onto the kitchen table. Victoria managed
to infer from this that her mother wasn’t in a particularly good
mood, but no longer felt that she had to enquire what had upset
her. She had done a lot of growing-up this Christmas holidays and
there were times when it made life so much easier than it used to
be. She continued to butter her toast and then decided that apricot
jam was her choice for a preserve that morning. As she turned to
get it out of the cupboard, she realised that her mother was still
in the room, standing staring at her, with her arms folded in front
of her and a face like thunder.

“Well?” her mother barked at
her. “Why did she want to see her solicitor the other day, then?
Tell me what she’s done.”

Victoria was shocked by the bald
question and by the anger showing on her mother’s face. It made her
look quite ugly and Victoria wondered if she looked like that when
she lost her temper. Resolving to never lose her temper to the same
degree ever again, she shrugged her shoulders at her mother’s
questions.

“I’ve no idea why Nana wanted to
see Mr Vine, but it’s none of my business. If you want to know, why
don’t you go and ask Nana what she wanted to see him for?”

“Haven’t you asked her?” Her
mother snapped, as though she couldn’t believe that Victoria could
be so stupid as to miss the opportunity of grilling her
grandmother. It made Victoria’s blood boil that her mother could
infuse so much into one statement but, whereas before Christmas she
would have been apologising for her lack of intelligence, now she
could rise above it.

“If Nana wanted me to know what
she had discussed with Mr Vine I’m sure she would have told me.
I’ve no intentions of giving her the third degree, just to find out
what she obviously wants to keep private.”

“You stupid girl,” her mother
snarled, all pretence at civility forgotten. “What if she’s changed
her will so that you don’t get anything out of it? You wouldn’t be
so high and mighty then, would you? You will have wasted all these
holidays, spending time with her. You want to think about that
before you start looking down your nose at your mother.”

Bia was almost screaming now,
very close to losing all self-control. Victoria didn’t want to stay
near her, in case she did lose control, but she had one more thing
that she wanted to say before she went upstairs to Nana’s
bedroom.

“I haven’t sat with Nana these
holidays just to get her to leave me something in her will. I’ve
sat with her because I like to talk to her and to listen to the
stories she can tell about what life was like when she was young. I
don’t know if she has any money to leave and I don’t care. I love
her because of who she is, not because of what she has got. Now,
I’m going back to her bedroom, but I’ll come down and help you make
lunch, if you need me to.”

Victoria walked away from her
mother, knowing that it was the first time in her life that she had
answered her back successfully. She was pleased that she could
sound so calm, but inside she was shaking in case Bia started
screaming at her again. She decided that she really didn’t like
conflict or confrontation, but that she wasn’t going to back down
and let other people benefit from her peaceful nature.

Upstairs, Nana Lymer didn’t look
very well at all. She was pale and her eyes seemed huge in her
little face. She was resting against her pillows, as though she
didn’t have the strength to sit upright without them.

“Are you ok, Nana?” Victoria
asked, concerned about her grandmother’s frailty but when Nana
Lymer spoke it was in her usual strong voice.

“Of course I’m ok. Why shouldn’t
I be?” she said. “I’m just a bit tired, that’s all. I didn’t sleep
very well last night and I think it was because I hadn’t finished
telling you the entire story. I’m worried that I’m going to kick
the bucket before we get to the end and then you’ll never find out
what happened.”

“You aren’t going to kick the
bucket, as you put it!” Victoria said. “You are as strong as a
horse and you’re far too young to be talking about dying!”

“Death comes when it wants to,
Victoria, not when it suits the person. But let’s not be morbid,
let’s enjoy today. Did I hear raised voices downstairs? Or should I
re-phrase that? Did I hear your mother having a tantrum again?”

“Yes, you did. She seems to
think that I should be asking you why you wanted to see Mr Vine,
instead of wasting time listening to stories.”

“And what did you tell her?
Presumably whatever you said, it didn’t suit her and that’s why she
was ranting.”

“I told her that if you wanted
me to know, then you would have told me. I’m not going to pry into
your private concerns, just to satisfy her curiosity and
greed.”

Nana laughed out loud. “It’s
lovely to know that you’ve finally got the measure of her, lass.
I’ve wondered for a long time when you would turn on her. She’s had
it coming for years and it’ll do her a power of good to be bested,
for once. I’ll tell you what I discussed with Mr Vine, if you want
to know.”

“I don’t want to know, Nana.”
Victoria was quick to reply. “I want to know what happened in the
rest of the story so, if you are feeling strong enough, shall we
start? I’m going downstairs at lunchtime to help with lunch, but
I’ll come straight back upstairs when I’ve done the washing-up and
we can talk again. If you’re up to it, of course.” Victoria added
hastily.

“Of course I’m up to it. I’ve
done nothing for months but stay in this bed, so I should have
energy and to spare. But let’s get on with the story. I’m not
pegging it until I’ve told you everything!”

“Sam and I had left Annie
looking after the three girls at the shop and we made our way back
to the dockside area. Compared to how it had been when Sam, Peter
and I had been looking for Simon and William, the place was
crowded. The whole of the town was awash with humanity, huddled in
small groups and talking in hushed voices as they tried to come to
terms with the havoc and destruction which had been wreaked on the
town by the might of the Hun forces. There was a wave of movement
towards the docks, some going slowly because they didn’t want to
get there and hear bad news and some going quickly because they
were desperate to find out what had happened to loved ones and
friends and couldn’t wait an extra second to find out. It was such
a contrast to the silence and emptiness which we had waded through
when we were conducting our search.”

“As we got closer to the docks
we could see that the whole of the area was ablaze, lighting up the
darkness as though it were the middle of the day. It was eerie in
that the fires made the night as though it were day, but if you
looked away from the docks, everywhere else seemed to be so much
darker and blacker by contrast. There were gaps in the skyline that
used to be filled with houses and warehouses which had been bombed
out of existence, but everywhere there were people running hither
and thither trying to fight the fires and save the lives of people
trapped in the burning and partially demolished buildings.”

“It was like a scene from Hell
with the red glow from the fires and the leaping flames, contrasted
with the pitch dark of areas hidden from the inferno. It’s
difficult to describe how frightening it was to look at that
tableau and to listen to the crackling flames and the noise of
crashing timbers, bricks and stones as buildings fell. The heat was
intense, juxtaposed with the heavy frost which lay around the town,
so that those people standing and staring at the fires were being
roasted from the front and were being frozen from behind.”