Bia's War (28 page)

“He crouched down, gasping and
panting for breath as though he had run miles in those few seconds
he had been out of the warehouse. When he had enough breath to
speak he raised his head and looked me squarely in the eye.”

“‘We’ve got to get out of here,
Bia, immediately. Grab Peter and run back to the shop. Don’t hang
about, or none of us will make it.’”

“‘But, Sam, we’ve got to hide
the bodies before we can run away.’ I said, but Sam interrupted
me.

“‘Peter is right, Bia.’ He said.
‘That’s no thunder storm that we’ve been hearing out there tonight.
I ran to the end of the little lane and I could see ships out at
sea, firing their guns at us. What we all thought was thunder is
the noise of the guns, both from the Hun ships and from the shore
battery at Hartlepool. I just hope that our gunners have managed to
hit the ships. But the shells which have landed on shore have set
fire to the docks and the two streets of houses at the end of the
breakwater. We need to get out of here before either a shell lands
on us or before the fires spread further and reach us here. And
that won’t be long before it happens, not the way it’s burning out
there. So many of the warehouses must have had combustible
materials inside them, because they’re going up like tinder boxes.
Come on, Bia, we’ve got to get out of here.’”

“I stood transfixed. I couldn’t
comprehend what Sam was telling me. We were being shelled by the
enemy? But that only happened to soldiers on a battlefield, or
perhaps sailors on a warship. We were hundreds of miles away from a
battlefield and we weren’t on a ship. How could the enemy be
attacking us? Sam looked as though he could scream his frustration
at my incompetence in understanding what he was saying. He grabbed
me by the arm and shook me.”

“‘Bia, the Hun has got ships out
at sea and they are firing at us. The docks and the warehouses are
already on fire and those bangs that shook the ground were the
shells exploding on the docks and on warehouses nearest to the sea.
If we don’t move now we will be blown to smithereens when the
gunners on the ships get our range, or we’ll be burnt to a crisp
when the fires reach here. If we get out of here, then the Hun will
settle the problem of the bodies for us. We have got to go,
now!’”

“‘But I can’t leave Simon!’ I
wailed. ‘And we’ve got to move the pig butcher and William, so that
no-one will know what has happened tonight.’ I couldn’t leave my
baby’s body to be blown to smithereens by a Hun shell, not to save
my own life. Wasn’t that the crux of the matter, of all that had
happened? Wasn’t it what raised me above the level of the pig
butcher and William? The fact that I put somebody else before
myself? Then Peter spoke.”

“‘I’ll bring Simon for you,
Bia.’ He said, lifting my baby into his arms. ‘You run on with Sam
and I’ll bring Simon. Don’t you worry about him, I’ll look after
him. He’s a little angel now and I’ll care for him.’”

“I was anxious about Peter’s
tone of voice, as he spoke those words, but Sam didn’t give me time
to question what Peter was doing. He grabbed my arm and dragged me
out of the warehouse door and we started to run away towards the
dock road into the town. Even in the panic to get away, I could see
the numerous fires burning fiercely against the night sky and that
a wind seemed to have arrived which was blowing the flames towards
the town. Before we got to the end of the first block of
warehouses, a shell came in from the sea and blew the warehouse
opposite mine into splinters of wood and flame which floated on the
newly born wind and threatened to land on other buildings, setting
them alight. We were thrown to the ground by the intensity of the
blast and I knocked my cheek on a boulder as we landed. I could
feel the warm sticky blood dripping down my face, but I wiped my
face with my sleeve and turned to see if Peter was close behind
us.”

“There was no sign of Peter as I
looked back towards my warehouse. I wondered what he was doing that
was taking him so long. Had he understood that he was supposed to
be bringing Simon out of the warehouse and joining Sam and I as we
escaped from the docks area? Sam grabbed my hand at that point and
hauled me to my feet. He wanted me to keep on running with him, but
I pulled my hand out of his and put my mouth close to his ear. If I
shouted I hoped he would be able to hear me above the sound of the
explosions.”

“‘Peter’s still inside the
warehouse with Simon.’ I yelled into Sam’s ear. ‘We’ve got to go
back and get him and Simon.’ I tugged at his arm, expecting him to
turn and follow me back to the warehouse, but he took hold of my
hand and bent his head to my ear.”

“‘If we don’t go now then one of
those shells is going to land on us,’ He shouted back at me. ‘Peter
will come when he can, but we can’t go back for them.’ He continued
to tug at my sleeve, but I pulled roughly away from him and took a
couple of steps towards my warehouse. I could see that the
warehouse door was open and swinging in the wind from all the
explosions and, as I continued towards the warehouse, I saw Peter
appear in the doorway, with Simon clasped in his arms. I made to
run back towards them when Sam grabbed me bodily by the waist and
stopped me going any further. I turned my head to argue with him,
but before I could utter a word a weird shrieking noise began. It
was so loud and so eerie a noise that I stopped struggling in Sam’s
arms and stared at my warehouse, which seemed to be where the noise
was coming from.”

“The noise got louder and louder
until I had to clap my hands over my ears to try and cut off the
dreadful sound, while still staring at Peter and Simon, silhouetted
in the doorway. Peter raised one hand at me, as though he was
waving goodbye and then I saw a ball of light, which I realised was
the source of the keening noise, coming from the sea. It seemed to
be moving in slow motion, although I am sure that the noise it was
making was because it was pushing the air in front of it out of the
way and was therefore moving at tremendous speed. But to me it
seemed to take an age from when I first saw it to when it slammed
into that open doorway and Peter and Simon disappeared from view
behind a huge wall of flame.”

“I screamed, ‘Nooooo!!!’ as the
shell exploded, although not even the angels in Heaven would have
been able to hear me above the sound of the explosion, and I tried
desperately to loosen Sam’s grip of me so that I could run to try
and save Peter and Simon. Sam wouldn’t let go of me, nor would he
let me move one inch nearer to the conflagration which used to be
my warehouse.”

“‘No, Bia, NOOO!! He screamed at
me. ‘You can’t go back into that inferno. No-one is left alive in
there. We’ve got to run away as fast as we can, before we get hit.
Run, run like the wind!’”

“And Sam half-carried and
half-dragged me away from the open mouth of Hell and we didn’t stop
until we reached the market-place, where we had talked to the
one-legged tramp what seemed like a lifetime ago.”

“I couldn’t run any further.
Even if the whole of the dockyards had exploded in a sheet of
molten metal, I couldn’t have taken another step. I sank down onto
the steps of the market cross and put my head in my hands. Sam sat
down next to me and started chafing my hands as though to keep the
blood circulating. I leant my head against his shoulder and cried
the tears I had been holding back since I had found Simon dead. Sam
made encouraging noises and rubbed my hands and my shoulders and my
back until the paroxysm of weeping was over and I lifted my
head.”

“‘Is it really true, Sammy?’ I
asked. ‘Is Simon really dead? And Peter? Is he dead too? Do you
think it’s possible that he might have survived?’”

“Sammy shook his head. ‘Nobody
could have survived that explosion. Your warehouse took a direct
hit and everything in it will be burnt to ashes. There’s no way
that Peter can still be alive after that. He deliberately stayed in
the warehouse, knowing what would happen to him if he was caught
and tried for murder.’”

“I caught my breath as Sam said
this. ‘Do you really think Peter knew what he was doing when he
chose to stay in the warehouse, instead of trying to escape with
us? If he had come with us, no-one would have known that he had
murdered Dennison, because there won’t be enough left of any of the
bodies after the explosion and the fire. He wouldn’t have been
arrested and charged with anything.’”

“‘No, he wouldn’t, but he would
have known that he had murdered the pig butcher and he didn’t want
to live with that on his conscience for the rest of his life. He
took the only way out that he could see. That lad understood much
more than anyone ever gave him credit for, throughout the whole of
his life. His only problem was that it took him a little longer
than other people to come to the same conclusion. I think he had
decided he was staying in the warehouse before he killed the pig
butcher. He was the only one of us who knew that the sound wasn’t
that of thunder and he also was the only one to make the connection
between the sound and ships out at sea. He knew what he was doing
when he told you that he would look after Simon.’”

“Sam fell quiet after this and,
for a few moments, I just sat next to him and let the tears course
silently down my cheeks. The explosion in my warehouse had finally
melted the ice in my heart and all the sorrow over Simon and Peter
was flowing out of me.”

“‘I’ve lost my little boy, Sam,’
I said when I could finally manage to speak again. ‘He was my
everything, the only reason I had for living and without him I
might as well be dead too. I wish I could just stop breathing right
here and now.’”

“‘You can’t do that, lass,’ Sam
said. ‘We’ve got to tell Annie the truth about what happened
tonight, but no-one else need know. Annie will need you now, more
than ever before and you’ll have to be there for her. Having to
look after Peter has been what has kept her going since her husband
died and she’ll be as lost as you are from now on. You are going to
have to be strong for her and, hopefully, together you’ll get
through this and come out the other side. Of course, it means that
no-one will ever know that Dennison murdered your husband and son,
but it also means that Peter won’t live for years with it on his
conscience. They will all be listed as victims of the Bosche and
only you, I and Annie will know the truth of what happened
tonight.’”

“I thought about what Sammy
said, but I still didn’t understand why Peter hadn’t escaped with
us. We could all have then told the same story of what happened and
nobody would have known the truth. I tried to explain how I was
feeling to Sam, but he was forthright in his reply.”

“‘Even if nobody else knew the
truth of what happened tonight, Peter would have carried the guilt
around with him. Eventually, it would have eaten away at him and he
would have wanted to confess to what he had done. That would have
put you and I in danger and he could have gone to prison for it or
even been hanged for it. He decided to take the best way out for
him because he knew he couldn’t have coped with a life behind bars
and he wouldn’t have wanted his mother to carry the stigma of being
the parent of a murderer. So it’s better this way. Annie has still
lost her son, but the break has been clean and his death will be
seen as a sacrifice. Peter knew very well what he was doing staying
behind in the warehouse. He has always understood more than anyone
has ever given him credit for and, in my eyes, he will always be a
hero.’”

“I had to admit that Sam was
right in everything that he had said and, although I had never felt
less like carrying any burden in the whole of my life, I dragged
myself to my feet, ready to set off for Queen Street and the shop
and the task of telling Annie what had happened.”

“We stuck to the smaller roads
and the back alleys as we made our way back to the shop, hoping
that there was less likelihood that we would be seen by curious
townsfolk. Sam kept his arm around my waist, holding me up and
pouring some of his strength into me as we walked along.”

“ ‘Once we have told Annie what
has happened, we’ll have to go back to the docks and join the rest
of the town as they wait for news on casualties,’ Sam said. ‘We’ve
got to act as shocked as everyone else, because we aren’t supposed
to know what has happened. People know that we have been looking
for Simon and William because we stopped and asked when we were
searching for them, but we will say that we went back to the shop
before the bombardment started.’”

“‘I don’t know if I can do it,
Sam,’ I wailed. ‘I don’t know if I’m strong enough to face it all,
not when I’ve lost Simon.’”

“‘You’ve got to do it, Bia,’ he
said. ‘For Annie’s sake, you are going to have to be strong.’”

“I listened to Sam and I could
see the truth in what he said. But why was it always me who had to
be strong and carry the load? Why couldn’t someone else support me,
look after me, carry me through the difficult times? I suddenly
felt that I had been alone all my life. My marriage to William had
obviously always been a sham, he had always been egotistical and
self-absorbed and I had kidded myself that he loved me and I loved
him.”

“‘I’ll care for Annie for the
rest of my life, but I do wish that someone would look after me,
Sam. I’m not as strong as other people believe, you know. I just
hide my insecurities better, that’s all.’”

“‘Do you think I don’t know
that, lass?’ Sam replied. ‘I’ve watched you for over two years now
and you’ve always put everybody else before yourself, but I’ve seen
the frightened girl behind the smart business-woman and I’ve longed
to tell you to lean on me. I’ve never had the courage to say it
before but I’m saying it now. You can lean on me whenever and
wherever you want. I’ll always be there for you. But now, we really
are going to have to get back to the shop. It sounds as though the
bombardment is over and people will be coming out of their houses
to find out what has happened. Are you up to it, pet?’”