Beyond Complicated (23 page)

His tie floated along my back as he moved. I felt like a whore. His whore. My sugar daddy who bent me over when he needed me. And I told him. In coarse words what he did to me. He shifted, his shoes next to my feet, he held me down, grunting into me. Neither of us heard the door open. Or Kel approach. His hand on my back startled me.

Kel didn't say a word, he simply eased in front of me on the sofa and, before either I or Seth could react, he unzipped and offered me his erect dick. Seth moaned behind me when I took his offer. I have no idea what possessed me anymore. I wanted sex, just sex, to be fucked. Al the damned time—by them. Seth and Kel. Kel and Seth. And me. "Liam. Oh baby, so damned hot." It was Seth's voice. Strangled, coarse, filed with lust and he slammed into me, the zipper biting into my ass and I didn't care. I could hear his voice, saying my name. His hands on my back, caressing me, or gripping my hips to force me back onto him.

And Kel's hands, oh my god, in my hair, he loved puling my hair. His leather jacket parted, showing his lithe body beneath a tight T-shirt with a shark bitten surfboard on the front. His throaty grunts as he fucked into my throat made me want to suck him harder. I wondered fleetingly what we looked like from a camera's eye view. Would it be hot, how much would a scene like this bring? The lawyer and the colege kid both fuly dressed and me, the former porn star, naked and submissive and taking everything they could give me. That's when Seth came, the heat blasting inside me nearly enough to send me with him. But not quite.

"Oh, god, Seth," Kel whispered, leaning away from me, he shifted and, before I could prepare myself, his mouth covered my hole, licking me clean, sucking until my legs trembled. Shit. Shit. It was too much. Kel eating Seth's cum from me, his hot tongue flicking inside me. Shit.

"Oh, shit." I gripped his thighs hoping to stop the tremors as my body exploded around me. The leather arm would be stained. The slick beneath me not entirely uncomfortable.

When I stopped trembling, Kel moved away.

"My turn."

"You're a greedy little bastard, aren't you?"

Seth chuckled, his dick lay on my ass cheek, his pants leg soft against my leg. Seth lifted me into a standing position and held me against his chest. His mouth on my neck, hot as hel. "You ready for more, baby?" Seth asked me and I looked between them both. Their eyes sparkling with want and need and—oh holy fuck yeah, I wanted more. Always more. "Kely is ready to make you purr. You want him to make you purr, baby?"

"Yes." I could barely say the word. It came out in a breathy gasp.

"Like this?" Seth turned me in his arms and ran his hand down my thigh. "Lift your leg, baby."

"Yes. Just like this." With Seth's arms around me for support, Kel came behind me and, in an upward thrust, he was deep inside me. His smaler body molded to mine. His clothes were harsh but I didn't care, I lost myself in Seth's kisses and Kel's grunts as he fucked into me. The three of us standing in the middle of Seth's living room. A bomb could have gone off and I wouldn't have noticed. "He fucks so—"

"…good, I know, baby, his dick feels so damned good, doesn't it? Fuck him, Kely, until his knees turn to jely." Somewhere along the line, Seth became the dominant and I didn't notice or even care.

This was al I needed. Nothing else mattered. Seth's arms holding me and Kel loving me.

My knees were nearly jely when Kel's breath went harsh, his thrusts became short and frenzied.

"Seth." I tried to warn him. "Going to ruin your suit."

Seth laughed and held me as wave after wave of excruciating pleasure washed over me. I did ruin his suit. His sofa and his suit. And when I could feel my body again I sagged against him. "Love you. Oh, god, that was…"

"Incredible." Seth finished for me as my head loled back onto Kel's shoulder, who looked at me with vague eyes and then kissed me. "Yeah, incredible," Kel agreed, kissing me again.

"Hot monkey sex," I laughed, looking into Kel's eyes. He looked at me strangely then smiled, remembering the conversation from last week. Was it just last week? Realy?

"It wasn't on the ceiling," Kel replied, his eyes laughing as he slipped his arms around me, holding me.

Both of them holding me, which was a good thing because if either of them let go, I would fal, I knew for dead certain.

"Next time." I kissed his chin. "Seth, next time on the ceiling okay?"

"I have no idea what the two of you are talking about, crazy boyfriends." Seth nuzzled my neck. "You ruined my suit."

"You should have taken it off," I said, noticing the room was spinning a little less wildly now. "Suit pornstar."

"What do you think, Kel, he's been home alone too much, it's gone to his head," Seth chuckled, including Kel in his kisses now, with me squeezed in the middle. I didn't mind. I liked being in the middle.

"We could go out, get him some air," Kel suggested, his dick finaly slipping from inside me, hot slime trailed down my leg. I shivered from the holy shit fuck of it al.

"Food, I need feeding after that, especialy if there is to be more later." My legs tingled back to life, my stomach growled, the sun outside the balcony doors sank low on the horizon.

"Los Amigos?" Kel suggested as he tucked himself into his jeans and zipped up.

"Deal," Seth replied, relaxing his hold on me.

"This time I think Liam is picking up the tab."

When I sank to the floor and just lay there, the two of them joined me, concern on their faces. "Liam?"

This from Kel who hovered over me, his eyes round.

"Jely legs. I've been fucked senseless, gimme a minute or two to rebound." I wrapped an arm around his neck. "Jesus, how in the hel did that just happen?

What the hel just happened? I'm not as young as I used to be, just gimme a minute."

"Okay." Seth smiled but I saw his eyes cloud over with a moment of uncertainty. "Too much for you?"

"I'm not used to being the damned bottom, or having two hot men using me as they damned wel please." I don't know how I sounded, they looked at each other strangely. "I could get used to it." I added, just to soften the previous statement. "I could get so damned used to this life. Scary how my priorities suddenly got screwed up. I'd give up everything to keep this."

"I think he's gone off the deep end," Kel whispered over my head, his words were supposed to be mocking but I saw something in his eyes that worried me.

Maybe I had gone off the deep end, lord knows I'd been there before. "Or maybe I'm coming back to my senses. Maybe I'm coming back to life."

Maybe I was. I didn't know. The only thing I knew for damned sure was that I'd done and felt more in the last few days than I had in the last nearly half decade. "I don't know if I believe in fate, but maybe… I have no idea what I'm saying. Brain cels aren't rubbing together yet."

Seth slowly shrugged out of his ruined suit jacket as we recovered there on the floor. His eyes distant. I reached out to him. "I'm glad you came back.

I'm glad you found Kel. I am. I was so damned lost without you. I'm good now."

"And this?" Seth raised his arms gesturing between the three of us. I'm not sure he knew what he wanted to ask, he dropped his arms.

I didn't know what to tel him. I didn't know how to process this—relationship. I couldn't think about Kel and what he meant to me now. I had to trust him on this. And Seth. I'd never asked him if he could live with Kel and—

It was Kel who filed the silence. "I won't give either of you up, so don't ask. I'm not choosing. I won't choose and I won't leave and I don't care what people think. I don't care. I want you both. I'l die without you both. I wil. I don't care if any of this is wrong. I won't, I can't." Kel's voice cracked with unshed tears. "I need you both to be whole. I don't know why. Don't take this away. Seth. Please."

Seth sat on his knees, his tie loose and dangling around his neck. His two-toned desert colored eyes shifting from me to Kel. "I'm not going to, Kely, baby. I can't let either of you go any more than I can stop breathing right now. But baby, right now it's just sex and oh my god, it's the most incredible sex I've ever had. We haven't—you need to be prepared for what is going to happen in public. Liam and me or you and me, because of your relationship you two can't be. So how do we play this? We need a plan. We need—"

"I told my sister we were both seeing you." I shrugged, it was the truth. "I told her it was an accident and it was complicating things between Kel and me.

She's upset that we lived together for six years and I never mentioned you." I shrugged again. I knew it was a sore topic between Seth and myself. Keeping our love away from our families had been a good idea in the beginning. But later it became an issue.

"I know how she feels." Seth climbed to his feet and whipped his tie off, the shirt folowing as he walked into the bedroom area. "We kept so many damned secrets. From every one we loved. I hated keeping secrets. And we're right back there."

"Seth." Kel rose to folow him but Seth turned and held up his hand stopping him.

"No, baby, you're his kid for al intents and purposes. He and I were together for six years. Six years. We have habits. We've already falen back into some of them. In public, he'l touch me or I'l touch him, or kiss him. Or I don't know. I can do a three-way relationship but, shit. This is so fucking beyond complicated."

"So in public, especialy around people we know, it'l be you and Liam." It was Kel's turn to shrug.

"And you're fine with that? What about the friends I've met as your boyfriend? What if you forget and kiss Liam? At your family thing tomorrow? How many lies are you wiling to tel?"

"I've been lying al my damned life. My whole damned existence is a lie. You think I can't keep a secret? I've got secrets neither of you would even—" he stopped talking, his eyes tightly shut, trying for calm. "I don't want to fight. Let's drag the old man off the floor, get him dressed, and go eat. I'm about to starve to death and I need a drink."

"And don't forget my adult diapers and my drool bib too. Jesus Christ. I'm not on death's doorstep.

Next time Seth and I wil tag team your ass and see how you handle it." I had to change the subject before the tension headache behind my eyes flared into something dangerous. What the hel kind of secrets could Kel possibly have? I probably didn't need to know. Probably.

"Ooh promises, promises. Later tonight. And I'm holding you to that promise, old man." Kel puled me off the floor and we forgot about the argument, went out as if it were just another weekend, were normal, and everything about this whole mess wasn't exactly that; a mess waiting to blow up in our faces.

To say this was beyond complicated was an understatement. By this, I mean this messed up thing where I was hiding in my mother's huge spotless kitchen surrounded by Haloween treats and one ridiculously large birthday cake with pink balerinas in princess tutus. Ah to be seven and female with a birthday the day before the big costume day. Not something I'd ever want but that was just me.

So back to the hiding and beyond complicated part. Kel had his afternoon lab and was yet to arrive while Seth, wel, Seth was outside drinking beer with my brother-in-law and a few of the other dads who'd stayed. Yes, it was a multigenerational party. Kids and Kool-Aid and the adults with enough liquor to survive the bash. I hadn't exactly introduced Seth as my, you know, anything. Boyfriend, lover, partner, significant other. I just introduced him as Seth and tried to pretend I wasn't about to puke from nerves. Especialy when my father looked him square in the eye, or rather looked up at him square in the eye.

No fireworks as of yet, but then that was before Sabrina and Ken came walking into the backyard folowing sixteen year old Kim and fourteen year old Kacey. Kim and Kace had been invited to al of the kid's parties and came more than they didn't from what Moira told me. But even she was surprised that the parents hung around. Usualy they preferred the dump and run method. I texted Kel a quick message to give him a heads up but so far he hadn't responded.

Sabrina seemed to want to stare at me funny as if she knew something she shouldn't. I caught her eye too often for comfort and Ken went straight for the beer cooler. He stood with Seth and the other men. Seth glanced at me, something sizzled in his gaze, and not something that had me thinking about bedroom sports or monkey sex on the ceiling.

So when the piñata came out and a kid dressed like a monkey swung wildly, nearly knocking Grace and a few other girls over, I hauled my ass inside to hide.

From Sabrina and the hex eye she was giving me, and from the curious glances from some of the other parents. From Abigail, my boss, who I'd forgotten was one of Moira's colege friends, with a conveniently aged little girl dressed in a purple princess gown that matched Grace's pink one. Oh shit. Today was as fucked as anything could possibly be.

I drained a beer and was just opening another when he walked in. His golden mane wind tousled, his smile so sweet, and I forgot for a moment why I needed to warn him. I forgot I was standing in my mother's kitchen. I forgot we were one wal away from the entire population of my worst nightmare.

So what did he do? Exactly what I wanted him to do. He walked his ass over to me and said a soft