Beyond Broken (2 page)

“Whoa, they move fast.”

“I know! I’m so happy! Can you believe it?” I reached out and grasped her hands, jumping. Bekah needed no further invitation and began hopping with me.

“Better send your parents another e-mail,” Bekah added once we calmed down.

“Yep! I actually never even sent the first. This one will be much more fun to write anyway.”

****

“Welcome, Miss Holton. Here is your locker and that laundry bin over there is where you’ll deposit your uniform.” An elderly nurse by the name of Regina Lambert was showing me around and giving me the grand tour. She was taller than I, but far more rounded with graying hair pulled back into a French twist. Her expression was weary but resilient, as if she had seen too much and not been able to help enough people.

The steel door of the locker chilled my fingers as I touched then opened it. Though it was empty, pleasure rippled through me.
Mine.
This was
my
locker. I belonged here.

“If you’ll follow me I’ll show you the patient rooms on the various halls. You’ll be stationed on the North Wing. Dr. Solomon will be your supervisor and you’ll assist him with his patients.”

I nodded and followed her down the hall. The Willow and Oak was a combination of a hospital and hotel. It wasn’t sterile like a hospital, but had warm tones on the walls and plants and sitting areas spaced throughout the wide hall. Windows let in light and gave a spectacular view of the grounds. Acres and acres of grass, ponds, and of course, willow and oak trees were just part of the center’s offerings. The rich wooden floors were silent as we walked through the halls, now passing open and closed doors, all belonging to patients seeking treatment. As we came to the end of the hall, Regina turned and started to speak, but was interrupted by the sound of glass breaking.

“Get out!” A man’s voice shouted and a nurse rushed through the door of a room only a few feet away. She glanced back at us, tears streaming down her face.

“Regina! I tried to set up his IV but he’s shaking so badly I couldn’t get a vein—”

“It’s alright. I’ll take care of it. Will you please call someone to pick up the glass?” Her tone was full of quiet authority and poise that only came with years of experience. Immediately the other nurse relaxed her posture. With a nod she left.

“I’m afraid Mr. Bentley is not one of our… easiest patients. If you’ll excuse me.” Regina offered me a polite smile and walked toward the room, her shoulders straightening as she proceeded.

“Please let me know if I can help,” I said quickly as she walked away. She tossed a thank you over her shoulder and entered the room. I waited, sighing deeply and glancing about. The hall was empty and I focused on the windows. A few moments passed in silence before another slew of curses rent the air and jolted me from my peaceful view.

“You’re just as incompetent as she is! What is wrong with you people! You’re the best? Bull shit you are!” Mr. Bentley’s voice carried across the hall.

Anger was laced with a deeper underlying fear that startled me with its intensity.

Regina’s voice was quiet so I couldn’t understand her words, but her tone was meant to calm. After a few moments I heard her call my name.

“Miss Holton?”

I took a tentative step forward then another until I reached the door. The room was more of a suite. From the doorway I could see a living room with a flat screen TV and a wide patio. After taking a few steps inside, I noticed the plush carpet that cradled my sneakers, a stark difference to the hardwood floor of the hallway. The scent of lavender teased my senses as I walked in further. Past the leather couch there was a door, presumably leading to the bedroom where Regina was waiting.

Scanning the room as I entered, I noticed the tense posture of the man that must be Mr. Bentley. From my schooling I could tell he was in the beginning stage of withdrawals from a powerful narcotic. A fine sheen of sweat coated the goose bumps on his arms. The sound of his rapid breathing echoed softly in the room as he shifted restlessly under the blankets. When I glanced to his face I read the desperation, the need in his expression. Addiction held him tightly and was putting up a wicked fight for control. Yet in his expression was also a resolute determination to hide it. Even through his wild and haggard appearance, I could easily see that he was handsome, more than that. He was dangerous. Gray eyes were piercing in their intensity as they studied me and the ridged line of his jaw became more pronounced as he tried to suppress the shaking.

“Yes? Can I assist you?” I asked Regina in approaching her. I studiously avoided eye contact with the shaking man, keeping my focus on my superior and her needs.

“I need to get a few supplies. I haven’t shown you the location yet so I while I go to get them, I need you to stay with Mr. Bentley.” Her eyes were serious as she studied me for weakness or any crumbling under the pressure.

Resolutely, I nodded. He might be loud and in pain, but I’d seen much worse. His symptoms and surly attitude were nothing compared to what I had helped patients through while volunteering at clinics in the Philippine jungle and inner-city. Nope, this would be a walk in the park.

“I’ll be back shortly.” Regina rose and left the room in quickly.

“You’re new.” His voice was gravelly, thick with tension no doubt as a result of pain. I glanced up.

“Yes.” In keeping my answer short, I tried to avoid upsetting him.

His gray eyes narrowed as he regarded me while he worked his jaw. And I thought he was about to speak, but he groaned instead, twisting on his bed and shuddering.

“They never tell you what it’s like to go without the drug, just tell you how awesome you’ll feel when you take the damn thing.” His words were stuttered as he pulled a blanket tighter against his chest.

“Would you have taken them if you knew?” I asked as I began to arrange the medication that had be tipped over from his earlier fit with the first nurse.

“Hell, yeah. Though I’m seriously regretting it now. Shit. Does it ever stop?” he asked between gritted teeth.

“Yes, it does. But your body needs time.”

“Can’t they give me something to kill the pain? I’m dying here.” He groaned.

“No, you’re not dying. You’re quite alive and your body is learning how to survive without the drugs.” I didn’t want to say more. I was afraid I would cross the line and speak more of my mind rather than medicine.

“What is it?” He had relaxed slightly and was watching me curiously.

“What is what?” I questioned.

“You’re not saying something. What is it?”

I hesitated, debating whether to be painfully honest or to be politically correct.

“Don’t give me this PC shit either, I’m sick of it.” He began to shiver.

I noticed another blanket on a chair and I placed it over the others.

“Thanks,” he said grudgingly.

“You’re welcome.”

“Now what were you thinking?”

“Persistent, aren’t you?” I quirked an eyebrow.

“No, just willing to go to any lengths to get my mind off of all this damn pain.” He closed his eyes and leaned back against a pillow. Dark eyelashes fanned across his undeniably masculine face, accenting the perfect line of his jaw.

I swallowed and glanced away. “Understandable. Tell me…” I sat down on a chair next to his bed and leaned forward slightly. “What is the pain doing? Is it something you’ll ever forget?”

“Hell, no. This is… shit, this is bad. I could be passed out drunk and bumped, but I’d remember this.” He gave a humorless chuckle as another shudder overtook him.

“Good.” I leaned back and waited, hoping I hadn’t pushed too far.

“Good! Good? How dare you—”

“Because you are suffering so greatly, once you’re healed and on the other side of this addiction, you’ll remember. Like a permanent scar, you’ll wear this pain as a badge of honor that you overcame something near impossible. And you won’t look back, will you? The pain alone is enough of a deterrent to remind you to never touch drugs again.” I shrugged and leaned back, watching his bloodshot gaze study me with a grudging respect.

“Damn, I walked into that one.”

“You did. But it’s true. You’ll move past this, but before you do, it will get worse. Know that. But with every beat of your frantic heart as it survives what you’ve done to your body, remember that the pain is a reminder that you are still living. The drugs, the addiction didn’t win.
You
did.”

His gaze pierced me with curiosity. “Who are you?”

“No one important.” I glanced down, self conscious about my soap box rant. Funny, I usually reserved that for people I actually knew, not drop dead gorgeous drug-addicted strangers with eyes that made me want to run in the opposite direction.

“Here we are.” Regina entered and glanced to me. Probably making sure I wasn’t in tears or trying to run away like the earlier nurse. I gave her a small smile and she nodded, turning her gaze to Mr. Bentley. Immediately her expression was concerned and confused. I followed her gaze. He was watching me, a mix of curiosity and something deeper clouding his expression. I glanced away quickly and stood, making room for Regina.

“That will be all, Miss Holton. Please wait for me in the hall.”

“Of course.” I nodded and left, hoping I hadn’t crossed a line I wasn’t even aware existed.

When Regina met me a few minutes later, she was studying me intently.

“Miss Holton, what exactly did you say to Mr. Bentley?”

My hands started to sweat. I knew I should have kept my mouth shut!

“Just that the pain he was enduring now would benefit him later with a reminder of what a drug addiction can do.”

“I see.” She watched me with an unreadable expression while her lips pursed. After a moment of studying me, she walked into the hall. With a deep breath, I followed.

As the day progressed, I kept waiting for her to question me further or warn me against being so blunt. But she didn’t. I learned the location of the supply closet as well as the dining hall and recreation center. Regina gave me a tour of the grounds and bought me coffee from the in-house Starbucks while introducing me to nurses and doctors we passed along the way. Each person I met was kind, a bit reserved, but more than welcoming. It would be a while before I kept all the faces and names straight, but hopefully not too long. The one person I didn’t met was Dr. Solomon, the one I was to intern under. By mid-afternoon, Regina apologized for his absence but didn’t give me any details, simply stating that I’d meet him tomorrow.

By the time I left, I was slightly overwhelmed and completely thrilled. I started my day shift in the morning, and I was already counting the hours. I had my dream come true, and I wasn’t going to waste it.

Chapter Two

I walked into the main reception area for Willow and Oak and turned left toward the lockers. My heart hammered in my chest. Just as I finished changing, Regina came into the locker room.

“Miss Holton?”

“Yes?” I stood from the bench.

“Rather than the usual intern assignment, you’ve been given the opportunity to work with a specific patient. Per his request. If you’ll follow me I’ll show you where you’ll be working.” She offered me a small smile and left, pausing for me to catch up. I followed her down the same hallway as we visited yesterday.

“Mr. Bentley requested your exclusive care.” She paused and regarded me, as if thinking intently over what she was about to say next. “We try to accommodate our guests, but this is highly irregular. Please understand that you will be moderated closely and there is no room for error. That the management would take such a risk on you, with as new as you are, speaks highly of your credentials. Personally…” She paused her walk and turned toward me, her gaze intense. “I’m not sure why they are allowing an intern to take on such responsibility. Tread lightly. Mr. Bentley is not our easiest patient.” Folding her hands in front of her, she rocked back on her heels, piercing me with a solid gaze that left me nervous.

“I understand.” I swallowed, and my hands began to sweat.
So much for easing into the job.

“Good. Why don’t you go in and check his vitals. You’ll still be under Doctor Solomon. He’ll be in shortly to introduce himself. Don’t forget that if you run into trouble, each room is equipped with several alarms you can initiate for assistance should your patient become unmanageable.” She handed me my key card and walked away, her shoes treading noiselessly on the polished floor.

I turned to the door and took a deep breath, mentally reviewing the emergency buttons hidden in easy locations. It was a wise safety precaution, especially since I’d be alone when I assisted patients. Hopefully there wouldn’t be a repeat of yesterday’s issues. Not sure what to expect, I said a quick prayer for wisdom and knocked on the heavy wooden door.

“Come in!” Mr. Bentley called, irritation evident in his tone.

Here we go.

“Good morning, Mr. Bentley. How are you feeling today?” I tried to keep my tone relaxed as I entered the suite and walked over to the couch. He was sprawled over the armrest with several heavy blankets. His piercing gray eyes were bloodshot and tearing up. I mentally took notes on his appearance and went to the side of the couch.

“How do I look? That will give you a pretty legit answer on how the hell I feel,” he mumbled, as he rested his head against the leather arm of the couch.

Ignoring him, I murmured, “You’re progressing. You’re one day closer to the end of your detox.” I reached out to take his pulse.

“Don’t—” He jerked his arm away and sat up, glaring at me with an expression full of contempt.

“I’ll need to take your vitals, Mr. Bentley.” I said warily, folding my hands in front of me.

“Warn a guy before you start grabbing body parts—” He snickered and gave me an amused glance. “What, you don’t get it? C’mon! I’m dying here and even
I
thought it was funny.”

“Oh, I got it,” I said plainly, a completely open expression purposefully on my face.

“What are you, a prude?” He snorted in disgust and leaned back again, closing my eyes.