Beyond Broken (18 page)

“More accurate, definitely not better.” He shook his head. “I have to go. My plane is waiting and I have a meeting that I’m expected for. Just… just remember, Sophia. Promise me again, you’ll remember what I’ve said.” Greyson glanced down and grasped my hands. Warming them in his large palm, he traced the outside of my wrist with his thumbs.

“I promise,” I vowed.

“Thanks.” Greyson leaned forward and captured my lips in a fervent kiss. There was no tasting, but devouring. His arms banded around me, pulling me tightly in as he teased my lips with his tongue and artfully, skillfully caressed my lips with his own. There was an edge to the kiss, one of panic, of fear that tasted slightly bitter against sweetness of his embrace. His kiss was almost forceful, not painful, but as if he were wanting something deeper, something more that a kiss couldn’t give. Reassuringly, I teased his hair and held him tightly, knowing that same fear lived within me as well. Fear that this was the beginning of the end. One day at a time, that’s all we could do.

“Greyson.” I broke the seal of our lips. Reluctantly he gentled his hold. “One day at a time, don’t look at the future all at once okay? One day only.”

“One day…” he murmured, gazing deeply into my eyes, his own pools of gray emotion that swirled with silver.

“One day,” I repeated.

“I can do one day…”

“We both can.”

His breathing settled as did my own and he just gazed at me, memorizing my face as I did the same to him.

“My brilliant little nurse.” Greyson’s lips tipped into a lopsided grin.

“Yeah, don’t you forget it either,” I joked playfully. “Though I can’t take credit for most of what I’ve said.” I shrugged a shoulder.

“God stuff?” he asked with eyebrows raised.

“Yeah, you know, credit where credit’s due and all.”

“Scary part? It’s making more sense every day. Who knows, maybe I’ll even get myself a Bible, you know… find some of this stuff out for myself instead of needing you to smack me upside of the head with it,” he teased.

“Hey! I did not smack you upside of the head… okay, maybe once,” I amended.

“Or twice?” Greyson raised an eyebrow.

“Whatever. You needed it.”

“No arguments there.”

“So… not goodbye.”

Greyson’s grin faded and he pulled me in tightly once more.

“Not goodbye.”

He held me tightly for one more moment then released me, his jaw tight with emotion.

“I’ll see you soon.” He lowered his chin and gazed at me intently.

“Yes, you will.”

“And you’ll remember?”

“Yes… hey.” I paused, my brain clicking a few things into place. “Since when did we decide I was your girlfriend?” I asked, thankful for something to lighten the mood.

“Caught that, did you? Here I thought I was smooth enough to sail it right by.

“You’re not that smooth.”

“Oh yes, I am.” Greyson winked and walked away.

“I never said yes!” I called after him, a huge smile making my cheeks ache.

“Doesn’t change anything!” Greyson called back, a smile in his voice.

“Fine!” I teased.

“Told you it wouldn’t change anything!” He walked through the grove of trees until I couldn’t see him anymore.

I waited a few minutes, needing some solitude to think. As I headed back to my car my phone buzzed again.

Five days, and approx. 15 hours. Counting down.

I texted back immediately.

Counting down.

Chapter Thirteen

It was hard going to the center the next day. The night before Bekah had sensed my mood and opened up a carton of chocolate cookie dough ice cream. She’d handed me a spoon, and we ate in silence until I spilled everything. She’d listened without a word and hugged me when I shed a few tears against my own will.

Why couldn’t I just believe him? Trust him to do and live out all the wonderful things he said? I didn’t know, and that was the hardest part.

The center looked the same, but felt empty. I went through my day with practiced ease and met a few new patients I’d be working with. In their own way, each one reminded me of Greyson. Addiction had many faces, but it still carried a similar personality no matter who you were. It respected no one and cared nothing about the lives it callously shattered. It took, devoured, and ripped until there was nothing left of the addict’s former life but an empty shell. Each person I met, worked with, and helped had been destroyed in some way by their addiction. My heart hurt, broke for them and the pain they were causing themselves and families. Yet at the same time I rejoiced that they were getting help when so many others continued on their path of destruction.

Slowly as the day progressed, I relaxed and re-found the rhythm of my heart as I remembered the reason I wanted to be there, to help. Greyson had distracted me so thoroughly that I had all but forgotten my first intentions. Guilt washed over me as I realized how weak I was. Falling for Greyson shouldn’t have taken the place of the passion I felt for those who suffered, those who needed help. Realigning my priorities, I felt a surge of energy, of joy. Greyson might be gone… but I wasn’t. I could still make a difference in so many people’s lives. With Greyson gone, as much as I missed him, I would be able to focus on what I needed to do. And that was a blessing in the midst of all the pain.

By the time the day ended I wasn’t nearly as depressed, but once again looking forward to tomorrow, because each new day gave me the opportunity to change someone’s life. And that was a reason to get up in the morning.

As I headed to my car I pulled out my neglected cell phone, I had left it in my purse during rounds. My heart leapt when I saw I had missed a few calls so I quickly searched through them, greedily looking for Greyson’s name, but it wasn’t in the list. There were no text messages either. With a heavy sigh, I unlocked my car and climbed in, reminding myself that he was busy and it meant nothing that he hadn’t had a chance to call. I tossed my purse onto the passenger seat and drove away. It was easy to trust and believe when you had the person in front of you, but it was so much harder when they were away.

Faith, I told myself, was believing even when you didn’t see. And that was how I would live each day, trusting that Greyson’s words were true even when I couldn’t see him acting them out.

****

Just as I was heading to my room for bed my phone buzzed. The screen lit up with Greyson’s name. My heart flipped and a huge grin broke out across my face.

“Hey,” I answered through my smile.

“Hello, Beautiful. Miss me?”

“No,” I teased as I entered my room and flopped onto my bed, deliriously happy.

“Liar.”

I giggled. “Why? Do you miss me?”

“Yes. A lot.”

“Good.”

“So here’s where you’re to say that you missed me too, a lot and then we go on and on about missing each other and get all mushy…”

“Or we can skip that part because you already know I missed you.”

“I never did like the mushy stuff.”

“How non-junior high of you.” I shook my head slightly, picturing the enticing curve of his lips, the intensity of his eyes as he spoke.

“How was your day?” Greyson asked after a moment.

“Fine. Since I got rid of that one patient who demanded all my time, I’m now taking on a few more cases. All in all, a very productive day.”

“What is it with high maintenance patients these days… probably some rich guy that has more money than brains…”

“Yeah, that pretty much sums it up… but he did have some killer gray eyes.”

“It’s always the eyes that get the ladies.” Greyson chuckled.

“Wear contacts while you’re gone.”

“Jealousy? Whew, getting possessive, are we?”

“Those eyes are lethal…”

“Don’t I know it.” His voice dropped to a smoldering tone and my skin prickled with awareness and attraction. “Don’t worry Sophia, I save all my allure and sexiness for you.”

“Good, keep it that way.” I joked, feeling more at ease. “So how was your day?”

“Fine, busy, I’m just now getting home.”

I glanced at the clock and added three hours to the time. It was nine-thirty here, so on the East Coast it was twelve-thirty.

“Home from work? You know the whole industrial revolution and the unions made it so that there are laws against overworking your employees.” I kept my voice light, yet I was concerned. Though he had healed and moved past the symptoms of his addiction, that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to be tempted to re-enter that world.

“Yeah, sadly that only applies to the employed, not the employer. There was a lot for me to catch up on.”

“Just don’t overdo it, okay? You’re still… working through things. It would be really easy to slip back—”

“Sophia…” Greyson’s tone was forceful, not angry but purposefully articulated.

“Yeah?”

“I’m not going down that road again. It’s closed, blocked off, and blown up with C-4, got it?”

“Okay, got it.”

“That’s the least of your worries,” Greyson remarked, his tone lighter.

“Oh? What should I worry about then?”

“Hmmm… how about keeping me within the… rules… once I’m able to come back this weekend.”

“Not concerned.”

“Oh? Is that an open invitation, because—”

“Nope, rules are still the same. I’ll kiss, hug, and tease you a little bit but nada mas.”

“And how do you know I won’t try—”

“To seduce me?” I asked, arching an eyebrow though I knew he couldn’t see it.

“Yeah.” His voice was dark with teasing desire.

“Because you’re falling for me… and love doesn’t compromise. It protects.”

“Damn.”

I couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled out at his dejected remark.

“You think it’s funny? Okay, it’s on. I won’t seduce you. But I will entice… just you wait, Sophia Holton… I won’t push you. I’ll protect your honor, but… in return when I’m teasing you with the sweet and slow torture I’m planning, you have to protect
my
virtue as well.” He chuckled darkly.

“Is that a challenge?”

“Nope, it’s a promise… one I can’t wait to get started on. How many days ‘til I get to see you?” Greyson groaned the last word.

“Four.”

“It might kill me.”

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

“Whatever.”

I laughed, feeling the sweet ache in my cheeks because they had held a smile for so long.

Greyson yawned, and I sighed inwardly, not wanting to say goodbye but knowing he needed to sleep.

“Go to bed.”

“No.”

“Yes, you need to sleep and if you don’t sleep then you’ll just want to nap when you’re here.”

“Leave it to you for the perfect motivation. You effectively shot a hole through all my arguments.”

“As always,” I bit my lip, mentally calculating the days and hours until he’d be here. My skin tingled as I thought about his kiss.

“And humble… one of the many things I admire about you, Sophia Holton. Wait… What’s your middle name?”

“Humility.”

“Funny. Seriously, though.”

“Grace. My middle name is Grace, after my mom’s great grandmother.”

“It fits. Okay, Sophia Grace Holton. I’m going to go to bed, just like my demanding and shrewish little nurse told me to.”

“Good. That nurse knows her stuff.”

“I know. That’s why I keep her around.”

He paused and I waited, sensing a shift.

“You’re right, you know… I have fallen for you, Sophia Grace. I’ll save the words for later… but I wanted you to know, to hear it from me just in case you hadn’t figured it out yet.

My heart flip-flopped in my chest at his words, the declaration within them. But it was bittersweet because only time would tell… everything.

“Good to know,” I teased, lightening the mood against the cloud of uncertainty that tried to steal the moment.

“Sophia…” Greyson teased in a warning tone.

“I kinda like you too, Greyson.

“My heart just warmed with your sentiment,” Greyson said, using a bad British accent.

“Yeah… that didn’t work how it sounded in your head.”

“I’ll do it again…”

“I’m falling for you too, Greyson. And I do miss you.”

“Better. I can sleep now.”

“Have good dreams,” I murmured into the phone.

“I will… you’ll be there, how could I not enjoy them?”

“Always the charmer.”

“Always… but at least I’m telling the truth.”

“Night, Greyson.”

“Night, Sophia Grace.”

I hung up the phone and rolled onto my back, staring at the ceiling. I went over each part of the conversation, reliving it all over again. With a heavy sigh, I got ready for bed. The last thoughts I remembered before falling asleep were of Greyson’s promise to dream of me. I knew he would because tonight I’d be dreaming of him too.

****

The rest of the week came and went in a similar fashion. I’d go to work, come home, and just before bed, Greyson would call me. But each night he called, he was increasingly tired, less full of himself and more… strained. Each morning I’d wake up praying for him, but it didn’t feel effective.

As Friday dawned, I went to work and finished, expecting to hear from Greyson at any time. After all, he was planning on flying in that night, he just wasn’t sure of when. As I pulled into my apartment my phone rang.

“Greyson!” I answered cheerfully.

“Hi, Sophia.” His tone was forced.

“What’s wrong?” I froze my movements and stared ahead, not seeing anything but focusing on his voice.

“I… Sophia I’m so sorry. I won’t be able to see you this weekend. There was a fallout between two divisions of my company and if I can’t resolve it… thousands of people could lose their jobs. I don’t have a choice. I’m so sorry.” His tone was defeated, weighed down, and stressed. In my head I pictured him rubbing the back of his neck and then running his hands through his thick hair, tousling it. My own heart broke with disappointment.

“Greyson… I understand. I’m disappointed. But I understand. People gotta eat. They need jobs for that.”

“I know, but right now I want to ditch the whole thing, hop on a plane—”