Beyond a Misty Shore (14 page)

When Frank alighted from the tram the next evening he found his mother waiting for him, her coat clutched snugly to her against the cold wind and a warm headscarf tied tightly under her chin. He had hoped to have got off a bit earlier, there had been so many of them absent from work today, which was not a Bank Holiday, that very little work had been achieved at all. He’d hoped to be able to wait for Sophie, realising that she too would have been at work. And he wanted to apologise to her for he’d heard about what Nora had done from one of the neighbours. Despite his protests, after the singing he’d been dragged off down the street by the Seddon brothers to where the younger element had congregated.

He wanted to see that Sophie was not hurt. Of course she was bound to be upset and he was going to swear to her that he would make every effort to keep his jealous, vicious slut of a wife away from her. Of course Nora hadn’t been in any fit state to go to work that morning, in fact he’d hardly been able to get any sense out of her at all, but he was going to have it out with her tonight.

‘If you’ve got any thoughts about hanging on here, waiting for Sophie Teare, then you can just forget them, Frank!’ Martha greeted him.

‘I was hoping to apologise to her, Mam, for—’

‘Forget it!’ Martha interrupted. ‘In fact forget Sophie altogether, Frank. I blame you for that fiasco last night.’

‘Me? All I did was wish Sophie “Happy New Year”.’

‘And that was just it! None of us could help but see that it was far more than just a “friendly” kiss. Oh, no, it was far more than that. No wonder that trollop you married was so livid. She’s no fool – far from it – drunk or sober.’

‘And she
was
drunk – as usual!’ Frank retorted bitterly. ‘She stank like a brewery this morning and didn’t go to work. Not that she ever spends much time at those rope works anyway. And yes, it was more than just a friendly kiss, Mam, but I love Sophie.’

Martha was taken aback at his admission but she wasn’t to be deterred. ‘You aren’t
free
to love Sophie! I’m telling you, Frank, to stay away from that girl. This has got to stop!’

‘I can’t, Mam! She means everything to me,’ he replied determinedly. Sophie was the only reason he could face each
dreary day, didn’t his mother understand that? He couldn’t stay away from her, couldn’t forgo those precious minutes he spent with her each evening. He couldn’t give her up, especially now he knew that she loved him too. The way she had kissed him and clung to him had made him realise that and the knowledge had filled him with such joy and a happiness he hadn’t known for years.

Martha looked at him steadily in the pale light from the streetlamp and she swallowed hard. He was her son and she did care about him; she knew how utterly miserable his life was but there was no way out of it for him and she wouldn’t stand by and let poor Sophie Teare’s life be ruined too.

‘Frank, if you really do care for her then don’t encourage her to love you in return. You can’t offer her a single thing, son. Not marriage or a home, not security or any kind of a future. You’ll break her heart, Frank, and that girl has suffered enough. She came here trying to find a new life, a new beginning – don’t spoil it all. Don’t take it away from her or Bella, it would be cruel. Leave her alone, Frank. She’ll get over it in time.’

Frank stared back at her, shaking his head. ‘
I
won’t get over it, Mam. I’ll never get over her. I’ll just go on hoping and praying that one day . . .’

Martha laid a hand on his arm. ‘I know, son. But promise me you’ll leave her in peace? Don’t hurt her, don’t ruin her life?’

Frank didn’t reply. He couldn’t, he couldn’t promise to do something that would take away his very reason for living. He
turned away and began to walk down the street, leaving Martha staring bleakly after him.

He’d always been stubborn, even as a little lad, she thought bitterly. That stubbornness had been at the root of his so-called ‘passion’ for Nora, and now it looked as if it would be the cause of a great deal of pain and unhappiness for Sophie too. She turned away. She’d tried but he was a grown man; there was nothing more she could do.

S
OPHIE HAD MADE THE
effort to get ready for work on New Year’s Day but when she had entered the kitchen that morning, Lizzie had taken one look at her and said that a day off would do her more good than the money she would earn.

‘Aunty Lizzie, I won’t be earning any, I’ll be short in my wages this week if I don’t go in. You know they dock us a day’s pay for being off and more so today,’ she’d protested.

‘No one will starve because of it. Now, take yourself back up those stairs and rest. I’ve got a bit of shopping to do so I’ll take Bella with me. All the rest of them will be at work and our Billy is going off with his mates to the park. One of them got a bit of a toy boat for Christmas and they’re going to sail it on the lake and I’m not risking them taking Bella along too, she’s coming with me. You won’t be disturbed,’ Lizzie had
informed her firmly, thinking Sophie had enough to contend with without Billy and his mates probably half soaking the child with their antics.

It was with some relief that Sophie had gone back upstairs and lain down on the bed, still feeling upset and confused. She felt exhausted and drained too for she hadn’t slept at all well.

For what seemed like most of the night she had tossed and turned, listening to the breathing of Katie, Maria and the child tucked in beside her. She knew she couldn’t risk seeing Frank again; it just wasn’t possible, not if she wanted to keep her sanity – and for Bella’s sake she had to. Maybe she did love him, she’d thought, and then with brutal honesty she admitted that she had fallen in love with him. She hadn’t meant to, she had thought she would never love again, but somehow it had happened. But at the same time she knew there could never be anything between them. He would never divorce Nora and she couldn’t –
wouldn’t
– ask him to, so there could be no future together for them. She’d felt utterly miserable at the thought and her head had started to ache again. She didn’t want to spend the rest of her life alone; as Arthur Chatsworth had reminded her, she
was
still young.

It had been just as the first faint rays of the grey January dawn were filtering through the gap in the curtains that she’d made her decision. She and Bella would have to leave Lizzie’s house. She had come here to start her own business and provide a better future for Bella and she wasn’t going to jeopardise that now by pining for Frank Ryan. She had to make a clean break.

After that she had started to wonder just where she would go and if Maria would go with her, for she wouldn’t force her sister to leave here if she didn’t want to. And where in this city would she find decent lodgings at a price she could afford, and who would take care of Bella after school and in the holidays? Her mind had become so clogged with worries that sleep had been impossible. Then she’d realized, when first Katie and then Maria had stirred, that it was time to get up and try to face everything.

For half an hour after Lizzie had sent her back upstairs Sophie tried to relax, but she just couldn’t sleep. She gave up and went slowly back downstairs, feeling no better. The kitchen was deserted and untidy; her aunt had obviously decided to leave clearing up until she got back. Sighing heavily and feeling depressed, she began to clear away the dirty breakfast dishes but she turned as the door opened.

‘Sophie, I didn’t realise it was you, I thought it was Mrs Quine. I just came in to refill my water jug,’ Arthur Chatsworth said quietly.

‘I . . . I didn’t go to work, Aunty Lizzie told me to stay off and rest.’

He nodded. ‘Very wise. How are you feeling this morning?’

She managed a weak smile. ‘Better, thank you, Arthur, but I didn’t get much sleep, I’m afraid.’

Again he had the feeling that there was something else, apart from Nora, on her mind. ‘Sophie, is there something upsetting you, other than the events of last night? My dear, let me assure you again that anything you tell me will be kept
in the strictest confidence. My conversations with the family are brief, as you know, and I just pass the time of day with the neighbours – it would be discourteous to utterly ignore them.’

Sophie sat down at the table, twisting her hands together. It would be a relief to unburden herself of her feelings; surely it wouldn’t hurt to confide in Arthur? He was such a pleasant, quiet man and he
was
discreet; he wasn’t family and they had talked about Frank before. ‘That awful incident last night was partly my . . . my fault,’ she began, trying to chose her words carefully.

He sat down opposite her and although he looked surprised he made no comment.

‘You remember before Christmas we . . . we had that conversation about me being “friends” with Frank Ryan and . . . and about me spending the rest of my life . . . alone . . .’ She was struggling.

Understanding was beginning to dawn on Arthur Chatsworth and he decided to try to make it easier for her. ‘You and Frank have become more than just “friends”, is that it, Sophie?’

She nodded, biting her lip. ‘Last night . . . things . . . Frank kissed me and I . . .’

‘And Nora saw you?’

Again she nodded. ‘So you see it was partly my fault and now . . .’

He looked at her ruefully. ‘I think I, too, may have to share some of the blame.’

‘You, Arthur?’

‘Yes. Maybe I encouraged you, during that little talk. I did tell you that you were still a young woman and that life can be very lonely on your own . . .’

‘No, it wasn’t anything to do with that, I promise. It . . . it just sort of happened, but you know as well as I do that there is nothing to be done. Frank isn’t free to . . . love me, no matter how I feel about him. I’ve made a decision.’

He looked interested. ‘What have you decided, Sophie?’

‘That Bella and I will have to find somewhere else to live, away from this street, away from this neighbourhood. Away from Frank.’

He didn’t blame her but it was a drastic measure for a young woman with a child to contemplate. ‘Where will you go, Sophie? How will you manage on your own?’

‘I don’t know. I . . . I had planned to rent a house in a decent area and run a business from it, making clothes hopefully for an increasing number of private clients. That way I could take care of Bella and give her a good home and future. It was one of the reasons I came to Liverpool, but I haven’t saved up nearly enough money yet and it doesn’t look as though I will ever be able to do so.’

‘Will Maria go with you?’ he asked, although his mind was working quickly. The position she now found herself in was hopeless but she was desperately trying to find a way to alleviate it. He had to try to help her.

Sophie shrugged. ‘I don’t know. I won’t force her to, she seems happy enough here and she’s very friendly with Katie
and a couple of the girls from further down.’

He leaned forward. ‘I can fully understand your dilemma, Sophie, and I will be happy to help, if you’ll let me.’

‘How? How can you, Arthur?’

‘I have some savings. It costs me very little to live here, my needs are few. I would be quite willing to invest some money in your business. I assume you will need to purchase certain things? A sewing machine, patterns and items of haberdashery? And you will need to advertise too.’

She was taken aback. ‘It’s very generous of you to offer, but why? Why should you help me, Arthur? You barely know me.’

He smiled. ‘I hear most of what goes on in this house – the walls are very thin – and I know enough to put my faith and trust in you, Sophie. You are honest, kind, generous and a good mother.’ He steepled his fingers and looked down at them, as if concentrating hard on his fingertips. ‘I . . . I never had a daughter. In fact I have no children. My . . . my wife . . . died young. I’m alone but I . . . I would like to help you, Sophie, because I would like to think of you as the daughter I never had.’ It cost him dearly to tell her that and the loneliness was evident in his tone.

Despite her confused emotions Sophie heard it and she smiled sadly. So he too knew how it felt to be bereaved and alone. ‘Thank you,’ she said quietly.

‘So, will you let me help?’

She nodded, feeling a surge of relief wash over her. ‘I can’t leave here until I’ve got myself established with enough money coming in to provide for myself and Bella, and until
I’ve found somewhere else, and that might present a problem with Maria and . . . Frank.’

He looked serious. ‘I think you should confide in your sister. You appear to be very close and as for Frank, well, how would it be if I met you and escorted you home from the tram each evening? That would give him no opportunity to speak to you.’

Sophie nodded slowly. It would hurt and upset Frank, she knew, but there was little else she could do.

‘Of course, the neighbours may start to gossip, reading more into our friendship than there is.’

Sophie smiled. ‘Let them. It won’t be for long.’

He smiled back affectionately. ‘Right, then the first thing I think you should do is place an advertisement in the newspapers, both the
Bootle Times
and the
Liverpool Echo
.’