Between Darkness and Light (104 page)

Something roused him from his trance, but he didn't know what until he was sitting up. Zayshul. Leaping from his bed, he headed into the lounge at a run and opened the door. The last thing he wanted was an upset Zayshul found outside his room by either Banner or Jayza.

The door was still sliding back as he reached out and pulled her in before shutting it again and pressing the privacy lock.

“I'm sorry,” they both said together as he let her go. As she hesitated, he continued. “I had no right to do what I did. I'm the one who owes you the apology.”

She shook her head. “No, you were right, I was assuming too much. I'd no idea how much you'd suffered.”

He reached out and put a finger briefly to her lips, hushing her, pushing the ever present awareness of her scent to the back of his mind. “In the end, I chose to come.” He turned away, walking toward the dispensing unit, thankful that although her eyes looked a little bloodshot, she didn't appear too distressed.

“Sit down, make yourself comfortable. Can I get you something?” he asked, dialing himself a kheffa. Now was his chance to undo his mistake in letting her know what he was, or to teach her how to use the Talent she possessed and obtain some small revenge on Kezule. He still hadn't decided which he wanted to do.

“A kheffa,” she said, going over to sit on the sofa.

He could feel how confused and jumbled her thoughts were. She had so many questions and no idea where to begin.

Taking the drinks over, he put them on the central low table then pulled one of the easy chairs around to sit opposite her.

“My mind was damaged beyond its ability to heal,” he said, taking pity on her by answering the questions he'd prevented her from asking. “A new, radical surgical treatment was tried on me. It destroyed the tendrils created by the implant and reestablished new neural pathways. Yes, it resulted in me reacquiring my abilities, eventually, but it was a painful process.”

He remembered having to relive his way through all that had happened to him on the
Kz'adul
and shivered slightly. “No one, not even my crew, are aware of this, and it must remain that way.”

She nodded, sitting with her hands cupped round her mug. “That's why the link between you and Shaidan,” she said.

“That's unusual,” he admitted. “It might be because he was taught how to use his talent with sleep tapes prepared from a scan of my mind, but I can't tell while he wears that collar.”

“How about me? When did Shaidan tell you I was one, too?” she asked.

“Some time ago, but I'd suspected it for a while,” he admitted, taking a drink. The hot herbal drink warmed him, banishing the last vestiges of his drinking session.

She looked up at him. “You said you'd teach me. Will you, or were you just saying that?”

Now he had to make up his mind one way or another. Her Talent was no longer a danger to him, she wasn't in his league—he doubted if anyone he knew was now, and there was no danger of them forming a Link, unless he wanted it. Right now it was more important she be taught by him and could pass it on to the other Talented Prime females. Doing that, he could gain their loyalty for his people rather than leave them to be assimilated by the Ch'almuthian telepaths. Making her forget about him solved only one problem and left the larger issue untouched.

“I can teach you,” he said, “the way my son was taught, but you need to practice to be able to use your Talent.”

“You'll let me make a scan?” she asked incredulously.

“No, no scans,” he said. “I'll use a skill transfer. You'll have the skills, but as I said, you'll need to practice to use them.”

“How can I practice alone?”

“Some of it you can do alone,” he said. “As for the rest, we've six days before Kezule returns. If you set aside some time to be with me each day, we can practice together. Then you can teach the others.”

“When do we start?”

“Now,” he said before emptying his mug and getting to his feet.

He tried several times, but each time, her mind slammed shut as tightly as the proverbial demon fish's ass.

“I can't help it, it hurts,” she complained, rubbing her temples and blinking back tears.

Frustrated, he sat back on his haunches and looked at her. He wasn't actually surprised, as she had the same strong natural barriers as all the Primes and Valtegans he'd come across, including Kezule. He could force the contact, but there was a risk of causing damage. He sighed. There was another way to do it.

He leaned forward and stroked her cheek. “Let's have a break,” he said gently. “You're tired. We can try again tomorrow.”

“No, I want to do it now,” she said doggedly.

“If you wish,” he said. “Come through to my bedroom and I'll give your shoulders and neck a massage. It'll help the headache.”

It began with the massage, but before long she was lying in his arms making small noises of pleasure, her mind wide open to his. As they joined, he reached for her, creating a mental rapport between them, then transferred the skills she needed.

As the transfer tailed off, she began to whimper gently. “Your mind ... I can feel it ... Feel what you're feeling!”

He could feel her, too, and it was destroying the little self-control he'd managed to keep. It had been so long since he'd shared like this. He shied away from the memory of the last night he'd shared with Carrie and Kaid. Opening his mind a fraction more, he let the feedback between them increase, his mouth seeking hers for the first time as he was swept up in their combined sensations now coursing through him.

As the marker's drug began to increase in his system, he suddenly realized he could sense it, like a virus that had no right to be there. A tiny part of his subconscious followed it, tracking it to the source in himself, then temporarily neutralized what it had followed. Understanding exploded into his conscious mind, overloading his senses, causing their rapport to shatter and him to instantly climax.

He managed to collapse beside her and lay there utterly exhausted, his breathing ragged as he instinctively retreated behind his mental shields and tried to take in what he'd experienced.

For the first time, there had been no feral frenzy from Zayshul, he realized when he was capable of thinking again. Panic surged through him as he realized there had in fact been no reaction from her at all. Lifting his head, he reached out to shake her still form.

Her glazed eyes suddenly blinked and he let out the breath he'd been holding in an enormous sigh of relief.

“Are you all right?” he asked, still concerned.

She nodded. “What happened? I felt
inside
your mind ...”

He carefully withdrew and moved off her, lying on his side in the midst of his wrecked bed. “I shared,” he said. “After I transferred the knowledge you needed, I shared my sensations with you, as you did with me,” he added. He smiled slightly, pushing the information he desperately wanted to follow through to one side. “It's what Telepaths do when coupling, as you call it.”

“This is what you shared with Carrie?” she asked, raising her head to look at him. “You lost this because of what happened on the
Kz'adul
?” Tears filled her eyes. “I had no idea! How could you stand to be without it?”

“I couldn't,” he said, reaching out to wipe the tears away with his thumb. The drug he'd absorbed from her was gone from his system, and as adrenaline began to surge through him in a delayed response, he felt his senses begin to spin. Instantly he reached inside and reversed the effect.

“I couldn't,” he repeated softly. “That's why I was so ill when I returned to Shola. I didn't think I'd ever be able to share like that again, but you showed me I could.” Leaning forward, he placed his lips gently on hers and kissed her. “Thank you,” he said.

“Then I can do this, too?”

He shook his head as he lay back among the tangled covers. “I don't know. You only have female telepaths,” he said. “You'll have to find out for yourselves what happens when you try to share with your males.”

Can you hear me?
he sent to her.

“Oh, Goddess!” she said, sitting bolt upright. “I heard that!”

“Think it,” he said.
Don't speak it. Tomorrow we'll practice this and using mental shielding. I'll put a temporary shield round you for now or else the sound of everyone's thoughts will make you feel quite ill.

Yes,
he replied, noticing she was shivering. He rolled over, taking her with him until they were clear of the covers and he could draw them over her.

Rest for a little while,
he said.
Mental work is tiring. You'll find you'll need to eat or sleep more when you've been working, and absorbing the knowledge I sent you was tiring even though you don't know it.

Her head was resting on his arm, and she moved closer, stretching out beside him, one arm sliding across his pelt as she tucked it round his waist. He could smell her scent but its effect was minimal on him, as if what he'd done had given him a limited resistance to it.

He lay there, glad of her presence for once because tonight she'd helped him finally become whole again. There was at last a glimmer of light in his world.

HIS wrist comm buzzed insistently, finally dragging him from sleep. About to answer it automatically, he suddenly realized Zayshul was still curled up asleep beside him.

“Shit!” he muttered. He couldn't take the call here. Checking the time, he fell out of bed and ran for the bathing room. Second hour! Vartra's bones, how could he have let this happen?

“Yes?” he said, answering his comm.

Jayza's face looked out at him. “Captain,” he said quietly. “I thought I should wake you. They're looking for the Doctor. Seems she didn't go to her quarters last night.”

“Who else is up?” he asked.

“None of our crew yet,” the youth said. “I'm with Ghidd'ah in the sick bay.”

Ghidd'ah's face replaced Jayza's. “Is she there?” she demanded. “She is, isn't she? You bloody fools! Get showered, both of you, I'm on my way over with an alibi.”

Jayza came back, looking apologetic. “I'm sorry, Captain.”

“Forget it, just do what she says,” he said, cutting the connection and heading back to the sleeping Zayshul.

He shook her awake none too gently. “It's morning,” he said as she blinked up at him. “We slept all night. We need to shower,” he said, pulling the covers off her and hauling her unceremoniously out of his bed. “Ghidd'ah's coming over with an alibi.”

They crammed into the shower together, she trying to rub soap into his back as he tried to soap his front.

“Never mind me,” he said, turning and soaping her rapidly and efficiently. “Get yourself dried and dressed. This is my room, at least I have a reason for being in the shower.”

“How could we have fallen asleep like that!” she muttered, letting the water sluice the soap off her as he backed out of the shower to give her room.

He thrust a towel at her as she stepped out. “The safety's on the door. They'll expect you to open it. For Vartra's sake, just make sure it's them first,” he said, getting back under the water.

“Kusac, I'm sorry,” she began.

His expression softened slightly and he reached out to run his fingertips along the edge of her jaw. “Forget it,” he said, his hand curling against the back of her neck and drawing her under the water again. His lips touched hers gently. “I don't regret it, Zayshul. You made me whole again last night.” Then he released her and began hurriedly rinsing the soap from his pelt.

 

Ghidd'ah and Jayza were in the lounge, making the sofa look like it had been used as a makeshift bed by the time, still damp but dressed in his black robe, he emerged from his bedroom. Zayshul had changed into her rumpled coveralls from the day before and was sitting at the meal counter gulping down a kheffa. A drink sat beside her, waiting for him.

Finished, Ghidd' ah flopped down into an easy chair and looked over at them. “If you haven't changed the bed, do it now,” she said. “And don't you ever do this to me again unless you want the whole Outpost knowing exactly what's going on between you two! You can get me a kheffa.”

He looked at Jayza. “If you wouldn't mind getting Ghidd'ah a drink,” he said, trying not to let his ears fold back in shame, gesturing to the bedroom. “I have to ...”

“No problem, Captain,” said Jayza, interrupting him as he walked over to the dispenser.

Kusac ducked back into the bedroom and hurriedly remade the bed, stuffing the sheets into the laundry chute before returning to the lounge.

“If anyone asks, you were ill during the night because you drank too much,” said Ghidd'ah. “Zayshul was staying with me so we both came over when you called us. She stayed the night, I didn't. Since I knew Banner had company, I told Jayza what had happened. When he couldn't rouse anyone here this morning, he came for me. You got that?” she demanded, glaring at him.

“What's the point?” he asked resignedly. “What happened in the pool last night will be all over the Outpost by now. This will only confirm what everyone already knows.”

“You should make an effort,” Ghidd'ah began.

“Leave it, Ghidd'ah,” said Zayshul.

“You probably want an explanation,” he said awkwardly to Jayza.

“I wouldn't presume to ask, Captain. It's your private life,” said Jayza, looking distinctly uncomfortable. “You gave us permission to make liaisons with the females here, why shouldn't you do the same?”