Between a Rock and a Hard Place (40 page)

Jimmy was playing it cool, which was his style. He gave Tommy a big bear hug and patted him on the back. “Take care of business, man. Get your life together and come back to the band.”

Damien was trying to contain his disappointment, but Angel knew he was devastated. “I get it.” He locked eyes with Angel. “Family sticks together. You’re the only family I got. You, the band, Alyssa and Jessi. I know you gotta do this. Take care of your family, brother.” His throat moved as he swallowed to even out the twitch in the corner of his mouth. He hugged Angel so tight it was almost uncomfortable.

Damien was a hardcore punk rocker, tattooed and pierced, with a blue mohawk that defied gravity and intense eyes. He was as tough as they came.  To see him choked up was a hard thing to witness.

Tears blurred Angel’s vision and he gulped.  “Immortal Angel isn’t over.”  But they both knew that without Tommy, the band was done.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

The flight attendant in the first class cabin asked for their autograph.  Since no one was expecting the band to take a hiatus from the tour, Tommy was hoping to slip into JFK unannounced. Audra was keeping their departure confidential, which wasn’t exactly the best thing to do. Mr. Abelman wasn’t a man who liked to be manipulated, but he had a soft spot for his daughters and if anyone could pacify that man, it was Audra.

Now paparazzi and fans would be waiting at the airport when they arrived, triggering speculation. More importantly, it was going to delay their arrival home. Normally, Tommy would have embraced the welcoming fans, but all he wanted to do was see Jessi.

He fidgeted in the seat, unable to sit still for more than a few minutes, flipping through a guitar magazine and constantly checking his cell phone for any other messages from Jessi.

Angel’s calming hand stroked Tommy’s thigh.  “Try to relax.  We have a long flight ahead of us.”

“I can’t.” He took Angel’s hand and entwined their fingers together.  “It’s not like her to be secretive and out of touch.  She has something planned and I don’t know what it is.”

Angel watched him with concern written in the wrinkles of his forehead.  “I’m worried too, but she loves us.  Our love is too strong to break. You have to believe that.”

Angel was such a romantic and his faith in the power of love was unshakable.  It was hard not to be persuaded into believing everything would always work itself out.  Maybe Angel was right and in the long run, love did conquer all.  It sounded nice and he wanted to believe it, but it really wasn’t much more than a mask to shield his heart. Tommy closed his eyes, reclined the back of his seat and tried not to think about what the future held.

The comfort of the spacious first class seat and the attention of the flight attendant made it hard to think about anything else. “Why did you buy these expensive seats? We could have sat in coach.  We’re gonna need to watch our finances now. You can’t splurge on every little luxury life has to offer.  We may not be getting a paycheck again for a long time.”  He didn’t even want to mention the possibility of hefty legal fees.

“Because I wanted you to have a comfortable flight. I know how stressed out you are.”  Angel swallowed his second whiskey in one gulp and placed the empty plastic cup on the tray in front of him. He settled in his seat and closed his eyes.  “Let’s try to get some sleep.”

It was obvious that Angel was covering his own anxiety.  It was the little twitch in his eye that was the giveaway. And the two drinks.  Tommy knew that Angel was just as worried about their future as he was.

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Jessi sat on the deck to watch the sun set. It was her new routine, whenever time allowed. It was the perfect ending to the perfect day.  So much had happened in the last week, she barely knew what day it was.  She lost track of the band’s schedule and had no idea where Tommy and Angel were today. She dialed Tommy first but the call went straight to voicemail, so she assumed they were in the studio.  She tried Angel anyway, but his phone was also unresponsive.  She didn’t bother with a voicemail. She had so much to say, the time limit would be exhausted before she completed one coherent thought.

She should have told them in person that she resigned from Falcon Records, but there was no time to get on a plane and travel halfway around the world. She had a business to tend to and a fall line to finish. She would have to tell them over the phone, if their schedules ever connected.

She leaned over the railing, stared out into the horizon and wondered what Tommy and Angel were doing right now.

The first two days back in New York were a nightmare, but the rest were pretty spectacular, even though Tommy and Angel weren’t there to share them with her.  She imagined their faces when she explained about the changes at her store and about finally getting in touch with the journalist from
Vogue Deutsche
.  She still couldn’t believe it, and a giddy smile spread across her face.

She dreamed of becoming a fashion designer long before she met Tommy.  When he introduced her to the rock and roll life, her dream was overshadowed by the excitement of it all.  She jumped into the music scene with full force, much like everything else she did in her life.  Nothing was a slow process for her.  Everything she did was fast-paced, full speed ahead, without looking back: the music scene, marriage, threesomes, Angel, and now a retail store. Above it all, music and the band were always at the forefront of her life. It was her home, her life’s blood.  It was the oxygen that she breathed.

At first, she was enamored to be working for Falcon Records. She got to be directly involved with the band and she got to design for Angel and the dancers.  She still had wanted her own store, but she couldn’t successfully fulfill that dream while working for Falcon.

She never asked for the job with the label.  Mr. Abelman didn’t offer it to her.  He gave it to her. Her inability to say the word no always left her with too many projects to take on at once.  She loved working for Immortal Angel, and she was thrilled with the idea of being employed by a record label, but it was tedious.  She eventually realized that the stress from her position at Falcon, commingled with the stress of trying to launch a business from afar, had an impact on her relationship with Tommy and Angel, and she wasn’t going to let anything interfere with that.

Jessi never accepted defeat.  If she wanted something, she forged ahead full throttle until she wrapped her hands around whatever she was after.  Nothing was out of reach.  Life had no limits.  But even for someone as strong-willed and determined as she was, she couldn’t juggle a full time job with Falcon, design a clothing line and run a business long distance.  She needed the freedom to tend to unresolved issues at the store.  She couldn’t do both successfully, and she refused to entertain the idea of failure. Once she was home and free from the demands of Falcon Records, even though she still had to deal with another level of problems at the store, she felt freed.  She could concentrate on the most important things in her life.  She needed to choose and she chose her store. It was a simple decision.

She heard a noise from inside the house and she jumped. Whoever was inside obviously had the key.  She took a few hesitant steps toward the sliding glass doors and peered into the shadowed kitchen.  “Who’s there?”

“It’s us.”

Tommy! She ran inside to greet him.  “What are you doing here?” She threw her arms around his neck and ran her hands across the round muscles of his shoulders.  It reminded her just how much she missed him. His hold was tighter than usual and he buried his face into her shoulder. Before she had a chance to extend her arm to draw Angel into their embrace, he was behind her and circled his long arms around the two of them.  Her lips found his arm and she planted a kiss on his warm skin.  She loved when she was in the middle, shrouded by affection from the two men she loved.

After a few seconds Tommy abruptly pulled away, but kept his hands on top of her shoulders. “Audra told us you resigned. What the hell’s going on?”

“Oh.” She saw not only worry in his eyes, but a little bit of fear as well.  He had tiny lines on his forehead, above his fair brows, accentuating his concern.

Angel moved to Tommy’s side so he could face her, and they both waited for an answer.  Angel was pensive and nervous.  He kept scratching at the cuticle on his thumb with his index finger.

She was overshadowed by guilt at abandoning the band and regret gnawed at her because she didn’t explain sooner.  “I wanted to tell you in person. I really did.  I know it was a shitty way to find out. I’m sorry.”

They both watched her, barely blinking, as they waited for her to finish.

“I need to be available for my store. I need time to sketch and concentrate without a thousand things to remember to do for the band. I need time for me, Jessi Blade, fashion designer.” She let out a long sigh. “I can’t do both. I tried and my store suffered. I’m not willing to compromise. It needs my full attention.”

She watched Tommy’s face fall a little more with each sentence and Angel’s frown deepened. God, she thought it would be easier to tell them. She knew they relied on her.  They depended on her.  She dedicated all of her time to Immortal Angel. She fought for them and they won the prize.  They made their way.  They found the glory. It was her turn.

She realized they hopped on a plane between shows and skipped studio time.  They were supposed to be finishing an album.  Angus would never have given them the go ahead.  She suspected they were here without his knowledge. “Aren’t you supposed to be in the studio?”

“Never mind that,” Tommy said.  “We came as soon as we heard.”

“We’re here to support you, sweetheart.”  Angel rubbed her shoulder.  “You shouldn’t have to do this alone.  We want to help, in whatever way we can.”