Better Than Friends (21 page)

Jack made his way back toward me with the kids literally hanging off him. He peeled them from his body and then sent them inside to ask their mom for refreshment. He turned to give me a mock harried look.

“You’re good with them.” I handed his beer back.

“I like kids. Always have.” His blue eyes sparkled with sincerity.

I didn’t have nieces or nephews. Cary was my only sibling, and chances were high that even after he married and procreated, I wouldn’t have a relationship with his children. I was in my head, pondering my crappy family dynamics, when Jack nudged me.

“Are you avoiding the question?”

“Sorry. I spaced. What was it?”

“I asked about your date.”

“What date?”

“Didn’t you and your boyfriend, the accountant, go out last night? I thought you said….”

I gave Jack my best exasperated, dirty look. I knew he was goading me, and it pissed me off that it worked every time.

“It was just dinner. No big deal.”

“Was it nice?”

I rolled my eyes and set my beer bottle aside.

“He’s not an accountant.”

Jack laughed and returned my eye roll.

“And he’s not my boyfriend.”

That seemed to shut Jack up for some reason. He casually hooked his thumbs in the back pockets of his dark shorts and looked toward the house before turning back to face me. His posture should have read laid-back and mellow, but I could practically feel the tension radiating from him.

“Why are you seeing him, then?” All pretense of disinterest was dropped. He cocked his head and scowled at me. His brow was furrowed in a mix of confusion and annoyance. I was taken aback. “I’m curious. As an outside observer, I’d say you don’t seem to have much in common. You don’t like jazz—”

“Sure I do,” I protested weakly.

“He doesn’t know shit about baseball.” I shook my head, baffled as Jack continued. “C’mon! When he called you that day I was over watching the game, he didn’t know who the fucking Giants were!” Jack’s apparent disdain for the egregious crime of baseball ignorance was downright funny.

“He likes rugby.” I shrugged, trying to keep a straight face.

Jack rolled his eyes in distaste. “Whatever. The sex must be hot.”

I knew he was provoking me, but I couldn’t stop myself from reacting. I pulled back and stared at him. I was pissed, but I was strangely hurt too.

“Look….”

“Well, is it at least nice?” he taunted.

I saw red. I shoved his upper arm angrily, which had the same effect as a fly landing on a lion. He didn’t budge.

“Fuck you! I’m not sure why you give a shit, and even though it’s absolutely none of your business, I haven’t slept with Paul. We’ve done nothing but gone on a few practically platonic dates. You know, the dinner variety? Boring to you maybe, but some people actually like going out once in a while. And they like being asked and dressing up and for your infor— Oh fuck it!”

I walked away. I was tripping over my own tongue and could feel the heat on my face that had nothing to do with the temperature outside and everything to do with me unraveling. A large, raucous group of people was coming outside as I was going in. I faked a smile and ducked indoors quickly, hoping to avoid getting pulled into any impromptu conversations. I needed space. I made my way through the kitchen and was in a small butler pantry area trying to get my bearings when I felt a hand on my elbow.

“Hey, wait up.”

“You are a total ass somet—”

Jack crashed his mouth over mine in a possessing, punishing kiss. His temper and frustration practically vibrated through his taut, rigid body. I reached up to push at his chest, but he captured my hand and moved slightly back, kissing my knuckles in an almost courtly manner. I looked up at him curiously. I couldn’t figure him out. His mood was mercurial and just… weird.

“What is it? Why are you acting like this? I don’t understand.”

Jack stopped, closed his eyes briefly, and leaned back against the high counter in the confined space. It was somewhat private there in the pantry, but it was attached to the kitchen. Even though the party had moved outdoors for now, this wasn’t a great spot to have a heart-to-heart. If that was even Jack’s intention. I couldn’t tell.

“Go out with me.”

I stared blankly at him. Silence. He wasn’t going to repeat himself.

“Go out with you? What do you mean? You don’t—”

“I don’t, but I will. I….” Jack stepped toward the doorframe between the kitchen and the pantry. “Curtis, look at me.”

I did as he asked. He was on edge, gripping at the doorjamb like he needed its support.

“I don’t… usually, but… I….” He stepped back into my space and gave me a piercing stare. “I fucking hate the thought of you with that pretentious—”

“He’s not pretentious. Paul is perf—”

“I don’t want you to see him.”

“Excuse me?”

“I mean.” Jack took a deep breath and tried again. “I want to date you. Whatever that means. I don’t want, you with him….”

“So what you’re saying is you want… what? To go to dinner with me?”

He rolled his eyes. “If that’s what you want. Sure.”

I couldn’t help myself, I chuckled.

“Why is that funny?” Jack’s brow was knit in irritation.

“Because you look like you’re in pain, asshole. Jack, what is it you really want?”

“You.” Jack looked away for a moment. “I…. Curt, I… I don’t think I’m ready for anything big, but… I don’t want to share you. I know it’s very selfish. I get that, but I like being with you. I like being inside you.” I gulped audibly and felt myself stir as Jack reached out and ran his fingers down my chest, stopping at my belt. “Yeah, I feel it too. But I’m not sure if I’m ready to try the rest.”

“I have an idea.” I took a few steps back, needing the breathing room. I knew we were too worked up to think clearly, and a friend’s barbecue on a Sunday afternoon wasn’t a good place to get caught groping.

“Why don’t we try something easy… like on a trial basis?”

“I’m listening.”

“Well, what if we went on two dates, one of my choice and one of yours? If it’s a disaster….” I shrugged as though it didn’t matter. “We go back to friends only.”

“So just to clarify, if it’s a disaster, no more sex?”

“You sound like a Neanderthal, but yes, disaster equals no sex.”

“Since I’m already being accused of being a caveman, can I ask why we couldn’t still have sex if the dating part was no good? I mean, we know the sex part is good.”

“I like watching baseball with you and hanging out. I like you, Jack. I don’t really think going to dinner is weird unless we make it weird.”

“You mean unless
I
make it weird.”

“Well look, we’re basically talking about three different things. Watching sports, sharing meals, having sex. Most people would agree that together they don’t equate a relationship unless there’s something… you know, more.”

“More as in….”

“Just more. I can’t explain.” I couldn’t begin to try. “So, do we have a deal or not?”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, I think I understand where you’re coming from. But I want you to listen very carefully to me because I’m feeling magnanimous, and God only knows if the feeling will last.” Jack reached out and rubbed the pad of his thumb over my ear, tracing the shell in an affectionate gesture that made me want to close my eyes and lean into his touch like a greedy cat.

“For as confident a man as you are in your work and with your friends, I get this vibe from you sometimes that you don’t think I really am attracted or interested in you. I don’t want you to think I’m playing a game. I’m not. I find you really fucking insanely attractive. In bed and out of bed. That means while we’re watching sports or eating dinner. You’re going to need to work on believing me.”

My head buzzed and my mouth went dry. That had to be the single best speech I’d ever heard on my behalf. I didn’t know how to respond with words, so I hooked my hand around his head and drew him down toward me. Our kiss this time was gentle, sweet, and spoke of promise. Jack guided me back so I leaned against the countertop. I sputtered a protest when he picked me up and set me on the ledge. He stood between my opened thighs and shut me up with a toe-curling kiss. His tongue immediately demanded entry, licking and nibbling at my bottom lip before thrusting inside to taste me. I melted under him, relishing his possessive side. Jack broke the kiss at the sound of approaching voices. He set his forehead against mine and then pulled back to look at me.

“So we have ourselves a deal?”

“Deal.” I smiled widely, feeling very satisfied. Confusion would certainly return. I wasn’t 100 percent sure what it was we’d agreed to. I just liked the fact we were in on it together. Whatever it was and wherever it would lead, this was about Jack and me.

“The integrity of the game is everything.”

—Peter Ueberroth

M
Y
OFFICE
phone buzzed at nine the next morning. I’d been at my desk for a couple of hours already and was working on my third cup of coffee.

“Mr. Townsend? There’s a Mr. Farinelli on line one.”

I kept typing as I tried to remember which project a Mr. Farinelli was associated with. My secretary didn’t wait for my consent. She sent the call through, so another round of obnoxious buzzing began. I picked up the phone and pushed away from my keyboard in irritation.

“Townsend.”

“Townsend? Seriously? That’s how you answer your phone? Not very friendly if you ask me.”

“Hi. My secretary said your last name and I kinda spaced.” I stood and walked away from my computer. Jack was all kinds of distracting. What was he doing calling my office phone anyway? I asked him.

“Well, I wasn’t sure how formal I was supposed to be about this whole… you know… thing, so I figured you wouldn’t pick up your cell at work, you never do, and I wanted to talk to you, okay?” Jack sounded flustered. I smiled into the phone, perversely enjoying the very thought. “And yeah, Jack Farinelli, at your service.” He chuckled a little evilly, making us both laugh.

“You’re probably right about me not picking up my cell. I tend to get focused and… what can I do for you?” My heart skipped a beat. I loved the sound of Jack’s deep voice. I wanted him to do the talking.

“I told you. I’m doing what you said.”

“What did I say?”

“Are you serious? Do I have to spell it out? Are you enjoying making me squirm? Fine.” Jack paused. I heard his deep intake of breath and could almost picture him working on a bike, maybe wearing a snug T-shirt that emphasized his bulging, tattooed arms. I bit my lip and tried to stay in the moment. Jack… Farinelli was asking me out.

“What are you doing tonight?”

“Not much. You?” My smile was so wide, my cheeks hurt. It was a good thing Jack couldn’t see me, I mused.

“Want to grab some dinner?”

Not the smoothest invitation, but coming from Jack it was as though it were engraved and presented on a silver tray. I struggled to keep the ridiculous delight I felt that he was making this effort on my behalf. But it was hard.

“I’d love to. What did you have in mind?”

W
E
AGREED
to meet at Market. It was a cool, trendy spot located between my downtown office and Dupont. It had a great outdoor seating area, and on a warm summer evening, it could be the perfect “date” spot.

Jack greeted me outside the restaurant at seven thirty that evening. I noticed him give me a full head-to-toe appreciative once-over. I was a little puzzled, since I was dressed in my typical office suit. I’d abandoned my tie before I left, so if anything I probably looked a little disheveled after spending a full twelve hours at my desk. Jack apparently didn’t mind. He licked his upper lip and ran his hand down my arm, briefly squeezing my fingers before opening the door for me. I don’t know why those small gestures got to me, but they did. Jack was more touchy-feely than me certainly, but these were special caresses reserved only for me. I knew it. I wondered if he was equally aware.

A hostess showed us to an outside table for two adjacent to a large, rowdy group of after-work partiers. I touched the back of the chair and shook my head slightly. Jack caught my meaning and pointed to a table at the opposite end. I couldn’t hear their exchange over the din but I followed Jack and the hostess as they headed for the quieter side of the patio. She left us with menus and the promise someone would be by shortly to take our drink order.

“Do you mind being outside? We could go….”

I leaned across the table and set my hand on his. “This is perfect. Thank you.”

Jack smiled and picked up the menu. I took a moment to study my handsome dinner companion while he perused the wine selection. He was dressed in a simple but beautifully tailored light blue dress shirt that made his eyes pop. This was the first time since Peter and Jay’s wedding I’d seen him in something other than T-shirts, jeans, or leather pants and a leather jacket. His wavy, dark hair curled enticingly at his collar like he’d just come from the shower, and I thought I smelled the slightest hint of cologne. I kept my thoughts and observations to myself, figuring he wouldn’t care for any commentary about him sprucing up for my sake. But I was touched. He was taking this “dating thing” seriously.