Better Deeds Than Words (Words#2) (36 page)

“You have more faith in my abilities than I do.”

“I’m the man who’s in love with you. Of course I do.”

I pulled my feet up onto the bench and hugged my knees. The emotional heft of his words made me smile.

“Hey, sailor? The card I opened today? The picture of the tutorial room and what you said about knowing who I was when you sat beside me? It’s pretty awesome.”

“You like it?”

“I love it.”

“Good. I like making you happy.”

“You know what would make me happier?”

“What’s that?”

“If I could see you. Can you just drive by and wave or something?”

He laughed. “It might take me a while to get there. I’m on my way to Orillia.”

“Orillia? Why the hell are you going up there?”

“Oh, you know. Gonna swing by Casino Rama. Feed my gambling habit.”

“Come on,” I pleaded. “What’s really going on in Orillia?”

“Can’t tell you—I’m afraid.”

“You’re such a hypocrite! How come you’re allowed to keep secrets and I’m not?”

“What if it’s a secret that can’t hurt you?” he said.

I could hear the smile in his voice as he used my own argument against me. Damn.

“Does this have anything to do with next Friday?” I asked.

“Maybe.”

“You’re not going to tell me anything, are you?”

“Nope.”

I huffed in exasperation.

“In fact, I have to go, love,” he said. “I’ve got to stop and grab some gas.”

“Not even a
tiny
hint?”

“You’re going to love it. That’s all you need to know. You
might
even love it more than you love me.”

“Not possible.”

“Good answer, poppet,” he replied.

That evening, with my interview at the English office behind me, I finally allowed myself to believe that Daniel and I might actually make it to the end of the semester without being discovered. We’d made a pact to be extra cautious, resolving not to see each other until the exam was over, despite the misery the decision inflicted on both of us.

Without Professor Brown’s classes to look forward to, which had afforded me the chance to gaze at Daniel from across the room, the next week would be a difficult one. I would simply have to dedicate myself to the task of studying with a vengeance. I got to work drawing up a detailed study schedule, using the comfort of a rigid routine to keep me anchored.

The sound of Joanna crashing through the door with an armful of bags interrupted my studying. I wandered into her room and leaned against the wall.

“There’s my long-lost roommate. I was starting to forget what you looked like,” I said, watching as she unzipped all of her bags on the bed.

“Hi,” she said, smiling at me over her shoulder. “Still the same old me.”

“Is everything okay with you and Stephen?”

“We’re fine,” she assured me. “We need some space during exams, that’s all. I’m glad I kept my room here. This is one of those times when having a place to escape to is a real blessing.”

“Well, that makes me feel special,” I teased.

“Cripes, I didn’t mean it that way,” she said, putting her hands over her mouth in horror.

I waved off her concern, helping her put away a pile of T-shirts and jeans. “Don’t worry about it, Jo. I’m glad you’re happy. I don’t mind playing second fiddle to true love.”

“I think it is true love, Aub. We’re making all these plans. It’s pretty amazing.”

She filled me in on their decision to go overseas for a year after graduation to teach ESL in Taiwan and come home to start their life together debt-free. While Stephen was heading back home after exams to stay with his family until convocation, Jo planned to stay in Toronto until they left so she could take an adult education course. They had all their ducks in a row. Exciting stuff.

Unfortunately, their plans only served to remind me how fuzzy my own future was. I resolutely pushed my concerns to the back of my mind. I didn’t have time to worry about that now. I had to study for my Friday exam.

I returned to my room where I spent a good couple of hours sorting through my notes, highlighting exam outlines and trying to get a sense of how much work lay ahead of me. By eleven o’clock, I was wiped. I got ready for bed and then sat at my desk, intending to send Daniel a good-night email.

I waited for my laptop to power up and flipped through the pile of envelopes on my desk. How wonderful to have Daniel’s lovely cards to look forward to every day.

“I’d say a penny for your thoughts, but I’d actually pay a shit ton more to know what’s going through your mind right now.”

Matt was standing in my open doorway, watching me moon over the envelopes in my hand.

“Hey, cowboy,” I said, gesturing for him to come in.

He walked up behind me and rubbed my shoulders.

“How’s studying?” he asked.

“My brain is mush. I’ve lost all ability to think.” I rolled my shoulders. “That feels good. I had no idea how sore I was until you started doing that.”

He laughed before patting my back.

“What’s this all about?” he asked, gesturing to my hands.

I smiled secretively. “They’re from Daniel.”

“Well, I figured as much.” He snorted. “Doesn’t he believe in emails? Texting?”

“For your information, I won’t get to see him until next week. There’s a card here for me to open each day between now and next Thursday. Something to look forward to.”

“Man, why do I feel like I should be taking notes?” he said.

I laughed.

“Have you told Jo about Daniel yet?”

“She hasn’t exactly been around long enough for a heart to heart. I’ll let you know when I’ve told her everything, okay?”

“Fair enough.” He watched me for a moment as I looked down at the unopened cards. “You miss him, eh?”

I nodded. “Part of me wants to open them all right now.” I wasn’t joking. It was all I could do not to tear through them like a five-year-old on Christmas morning.

“You wouldn’t do that, would you?”

“It’s tempting.” I picked absently at the seal of tomorrow’s envelope.

“You let me know if you’re having a weak moment, and I’ll talk you off the ledge.” He ruffled my hair and crossed the room, closing my door quietly behind him. How did I get so lucky? Great friends and an incredible boyfriend. I snapped my laptop closed and grabbed my phone instead, quickly typing out a good-night text to Daniel.

Hey, handsome!
I wanted to say again how glad I am
that everything seems to be okay.
If I thought something we’d done
(or worse, something I had done)
would lead to heartache for you…
I couldn’t forgive myself.
Sleep well. I love you so much.
Almost forgot--how’d things go in Orillia?
Details please! -Poppet

A few moments later, my phone buzzed.

I’m relieved too, believe me.
Please know this--the only thing you could do
to cause me heartache is to leave me.
As for my trip to Orillia…you’ll see soon enough.
Goodnight, sweet Aubrey. I love you too. -D

Was he crazy? I couldn’t even take the idea of me leaving him seriously. And I couldn’t leave it alone.

Leave you?
Ha! Rest assured I did not wait all this time
to have some hot shmexy times with you,
just to walk away before getting any action! ;)
Goodnight. -A

I flopped back on the bed and had just managed to get comfortable when my phone rang. I smiled as I answered.

“Hello?”

“Miss Price, what am I going to do with you?”

“Who is this?” I asked coyly.

“Only the man who’s counting the hours until he can be with you—so he can touch you, kiss you, taste you, love you—spend the night with you in his arms.”

I squirmed under the covers. “Mmm, yes, I do have a vague memory of this man.”

“Only a vague memory? What does he have to do to jog this memory of yours?”

I pulled the blanket up under my chin. “Gosh, I don’t know. If I could kiss him, I’m sure it would all come back to me…”

I heard him breathe deeply. “He wants to kiss you, too. Desperately.”

“Daniel, I miss you so much. I don’t know if I can do this.”

“We agreed this was the best decision. If we stay apart, there’s no way we can screw anything up. We’re so close now, love.”

“I know. It’s just hard.” I rolled over onto my side. “Are you really counting the hours?”

“Maybe.”

“How many?”

“I think it’s something like two hundred.”

“
Two hundred?”

“One day we’ll look back on this and laugh.” He sighed.

He was right, but somehow knowing I’d be laughing next week didn’t make me miss him any less.

Chapter 23

Dressing Old Words New

O, know, sweet love, I always write of you,
And you and love are still my argument;
So all my best is dressing old words new…
(
Sonnet 76
)

D
URING
M
Y
T
IME
A
PART
from Daniel, the first thing I did every morning was clamber out of bed to grab the day’s envelope, then eagerly crawl back into bed to open it and pour over the contents.

The cards got sweeter every day. The pictures on the front gradually moved away from Professor Brown’s classroom to include Daniel’s parents’ house, our table at the Gardiner Museum, and the arch under the Vic Gatehouse. The words he included inside each card were just as thoughtful, liberally sprinkled with romantic poetry and personal messages of adoration.

We talked on the phone every day and sent each other plenty of emails and texts, but it was the cards that made each day special. I lined them up on my bookshelf, returning to them frequently to re-read his lovely words.

When I woke up on Sunday morning, it was already light in my room. I peeked over at my alarm clock, refusing to move the rest of my body unless it was past ten o’clock. Ten seventeen. Nice. I’d slept like the dead.

I yawned and stretched, frowning at the dull beating in my temples—most likely my monthly PMS headache. In the bathroom, I popped a couple of Tylenol and returned to my desk, excited to open Sunday’s card. I was just about to tear the envelope open when a voice at my ear almost made me leap out of my skin.

“Aubrey, can I borrow a highlighter?”

“Jesus, Jo, you scared the shit out of me. Don’t creep up on me like that.”

“I wasn’t creeping, I was walking.” Jo gestured to the card in my hand, scanning the other cards lined up on my bookshelf. “What’s this all about?”

“It’s, um, nothing really. Well, that’s not true.” I shook my head. “It’s a long story.”

“Okay,” she said. She looked at me for a few seconds, and after perhaps deciding I wasn’t going to say more, she turned to walk out of the room.

“Hey, Jo, wait. I need to tell you something.”

She examined my face. “Is everything all right? You seem out of sorts.”

“I’m okay, really. Come here for a sec.”

I pulled the bedspread over my pillow, and we both sat cross-legged on my bed. I grabbed the framed picture of Daniel at Oxford off my nightstand and handed it to her. She blushed furiously.

“I saw this yesterday when I was stealing a few sheets of computer paper. I wondered when you’d tell me about him. He’s absolutely gorgeous. Who is he?”