Authors: S Michaels
‘Brad its
Maddison’ my voice sounds surprisingly strong.
‘Maddison’ he
sounds surprised, ‘I need to see you’
‘No Brad we
have been through this, you have to stop harassing Cassie at the shop I am not
living there now so you are wasting your time and energy’
‘We need to
talk, to discuss things’ he is irate.
‘Brad, you
agreed to stay away’ I remind him.
‘I was angry,
I need to know my kids are ok Maddie’
‘They are
fine’ I rub my bump my heart beat accelerating at his use of my nickname, ‘but
nothing has changed Brad I am doing this alone’
‘That isn’t
your decision Maddison, it’s irrelevant how they got here the fact remains they
aren’t solely yours’
Guilt sears
through my insides, ‘Brad please’ I beg, ‘you have to permit me to do this my
way’
‘No Maddison.
One way or another I will be featuring in my children’s lives’ I never realized
how stubborn Brad was. I close my eyes as I imagine the warmth that I experienced
in his arms.
I sigh, ‘you
didn’t even want them’ I remind him.
‘That’s immaterial,
they are here now’ he is being tenacious.
‘Well they haven’t
arrived yet’ I notify him replying with an equally obstinate tone.
‘Where are you
living?’ he ignores me.
‘It doesn’t
matter where I am’ I refuse to answer him.
‘I will find
out Maddie’ he grumbles ending the call.
I rub my hand
over my face, I thought things had been too peaceful.
********
‘I think we
are going to have to induce you’ the doctor states, ‘there is just no more room
inside you for them to grow and you are so tiny’
‘No, I have
another four weeks yet’ I complain.
‘Maybe so, but
if you wait much longer you definitely won’t be able to attempt a natural birth
Maddison’ the doctor stares down his glasses at me.
‘Will they be
ok though?’ anxiety swirls in my stomach.
‘They will be
fine’ he assures me ‘they are a healthy weight for twins. I guess about five
pounds apiece’
‘Ok, it will
be nice to be able to move about again’ I admit my stomach fluttering with
apprehension.
‘We will bring
you in tomorrow and start the ball rolling, are you prepared do you have
everything?’
‘Tomorrow!
Well yes but….’ My heart is thumping in my chest this is all becoming a
reality!
‘Tomorrow it
is. Have you anyone for support?’ his eyes twinkle at my shock.
‘No’ my mouth
opens Courtney was going to come up the week of my due date but she can’t just
drop everything for me it isn’t fair.
‘Do you want
us to wait until someone can be here?’ now he looks concerned.
‘No we are
more than ok alone’ I reassure him.
‘Well if you
are certain’ he appears unsure about the fact that I can cope without support.
‘Absolutely’ we
may as well start as we mean to go on although I have made a conscious effort
to attend village events and have begun to chat casually to the local people.
I have put the wheels in motion into opening another coffee-shop at a vacant
plot in the village which I think would be extremely successful. I am waiting
to hear back from the council regarding the lease.
‘Then the
nurse will inform you of what to bring in with you, I expect we will keep you
all in for a few days. Saying that depending on the health of the babies you
should be home the weekend’ he grins, ‘and then the fun begins’
********
‘You sure it
is the right address?’ I ask Cameron, ‘I am standing outside and there isn’t
anyone here’
‘Well she
definitely bought the property’ Cameron informs me, ‘maybe she’s popped out’
‘There isn’t a
car here’ I note gazing around, ‘ok I will hang about for a bit thanks Cam’
‘Ok let me
know’ Cameron instructs.
I wander
around the property admiring her taste, it is beautiful without a doubt! The
location is spectacular. I glance into the windows and recognize that it must
belong to Maddison due to the fact there is a double pram sitting in the hall
with labels hanging from it. It is stunning she has obviously put a lot of
thought and money into it.
‘Hey!’ a voice
calls aggressively, ‘what you doing there?’
‘Sorry, I am
looking for Maddison’ I turn in the direction of the voice to view an older man
at the gate with silver hair and brown wrinkly skin a result of age and too
much sun no doubt.
‘She’s not
here’ he informs me sternly.
‘Yes I can see
that can you enlighten me as to her whereabouts please’ I murmur politely.
‘If you are
any friend of hers you would know her whereabouts’ he notifies me suspiciously.
‘Well I have
surprised her actually’ I fib, ‘I am the father of the babies’
‘Oh well why
didn’t you say’ he opens the gate and wanders in, ‘I wondered whether you would
get time away for the birth, the lass said you worked abroad’ he shakes Brad’s
hand, ‘Jim Stephens, me and the wife have been keeping an eye out for her quite
a size for a sprat of a girl’ he shakes his head.
‘Thank you
Jim, Brad Thompson. Do you know where she is?’ I enquire again.
‘At the hospital,
didn’t she tell you, yeah they have to get the babies out quickly I believe.
Probably best you make your way there Brad’ his astute eyes regard me
curiously.
I am already
walking towards the car, ‘yes I will thank you. Where’s the hospital Jim?’
‘Just past the
village hall, turn left follow the A road to the hospital’ he calls.
‘Thank you’ I
jump in my car my heart pumping inside my chest, this couldn’t happen again
could it? I feel sick as I attempt to locate the hospital through Jim’s
directions, I guess it’s easy if you know where the damned village hall is. I
eventually locate a sign with a red H signifying a hospital and follow from
there.
‘Hi, I am
looking for Maddison Connor’ I inform the blonde middle aged woman on the
reception, ‘maternity’ I add my voice breathy through nerves and apprehension.
‘Ah yes, are
you a relative sir?’ her eyes narrow slightly as if I am being tested.
‘I am the
father’ I inform her irritably, ‘does that count?’
‘It sure does
follow the yellow line to maternity and they will direct you from there’ she
smiles, ‘good luck!’
‘Thank you!’ I
trot down the line feeling like a prize idiot but not caring anyway until I reach
another reception area where a younger woman is sat. ‘Hi I am here to see
Maddison Connor, I am the father’
‘Oh great! We
were worried about her all on her own. Room 6’ she points in the direction. As
I stride towards the room my insides twist with anxiety at the welcome I am
about to receive.
I knock on the
door and enter without being asked to find her sitting on the bed looking
entirely overwhelmed by the whole situation. Her eyes are cloudy I imagine
from the drugs and she regards me as if I am a hallucination.
‘Hey’ I
approach her and she blinks before clutching at her stomach I guess as a contraction
hits. ‘How’s it going?’
‘Not a time
for chit chat Brad’ she pants as she stands and leans over the bed.
‘Wow, you are quite
a size eh?’ she is huge her tiny legs sticking out from under the tent like
gown ‘is everything ok with the babies?’ I worry.
‘Fine. What –
do – you – want?’ she pants as her face contorts with the pain that hits.
‘I want to
know my children’ I explain as I rub her back to somehow ease her pain.
‘How did you
know I was in labor?’ she whispers.
‘Actually I
didn’t it was a coincidence, I came to talk’ I plead with my eyes and her face
contorts once again.
‘Shit I want
to push’ she cries and I lay her back on the bed.
‘It’s ok’ I
soothe her pushing the red button for the nurse ‘don’t you have gas and air or
something?’
‘Want-a-
natural- birth’ she groans.
‘Fuck that
Maddie take some drugs’ I inform her and for a minute she giggles before
groaning again as the midwife arrives ‘your eyes are scary I thought you had
already had some’ I smile through the butterflies that are fluttering within
me.
‘I have been
in labor for a day Brad I am shattered!’ she grabs my hand and I soothe her as
the spasm continues.
‘Ok, how we
doing?’ the midwife moves over to the bed, ‘you the dad?’
‘Yes. Give her
some drugs will you’ I instruct not relishing seeing her in so much pain.
‘Want to push’
she groans.
‘Too late for
drugs now’ she examines Maddison, ‘ok next contraction Maddison push through to
your bottom’
Three hours
later both babies are born and sleeping in the special baby unit. The little
boy came first weighing five pounds six and the little girl came twenty minutes
later weighing five pounds exactly.
********
‘When can I
bring them home?’ I ask the nurse in the baby unit a couple of hours later.
‘Relax
Maddison, we will monitor them here for the night but they both appear healthy
and happy it is purely a precautionary measure because they are a little
early. Why don’t you get some rest while you can I imagine it is going to be
full on when you get home’ she suggests.
‘No I don’t want
to leave them’ I inform her the bond with my babies instantaneous.
‘I am here’
Brad mutters as if I had forgotten ‘I can watch them’
‘Yes, why are
you here remind me?’ I glance up towards him as reality hits.
‘Because they
are mine too’ he informs me stubbornly, ‘go sleep I will sit with them’ he
demands in that voice.
I sigh I
cannot deal with this right now, I am shattered and sore, ‘in a minute I want
to look’
I gaze at my
children and smile, my daughter with thick dark black hair and dark eyes her
lips identical to Brad’s. I turn to Brad, ‘she has your mouth’ my eyes move to
his full lips and my insides want to cry at the memories that I have of that
mouth.
‘Do you
think?’ he smiles down towards me and my heart aches.
I glance at my
son who also has tons of black hair and is the image of Brad in every way
possible. ‘And there was no chance of me ever forgetting you looking at him’ I
murmur and he chuckles.
‘A chip off
the old block’ he grins, ‘he looks like Daniel’
‘Does he?’ I
frown and glance up. ‘Is that a good thing or bad thing?’
‘Good of
course’ he assures me.
‘I was going
to give him Daniel as a middle name in memory of his big brother’ I mention as
I sit gently on a seat my legs becoming wobbly.
‘Was you?’ he
appears emotional ‘you ok?’
I nod. ‘I
won’t if it upsets you’ I glance up to him.
‘That is very
thoughtful, thank you’ his eyes probe mine and my heart skips a beat.
‘I need to lay
down. Will you stay here with them and wake me if there are any problems?’ I
suddenly feel drained.
‘Of course.
Does that mean you are going to allow me access?’ he tests.
‘No, it means
I am exhausted and need to sleep’ I stroke each of my children’s cheek before
moving back in the direction of my bed.
‘Wheelchair!’
the nurse calls, ‘you have just given birth give yourself a chance woman’
‘Ok’ I sit in
the wheelchair and one of the nurses returns me to my bed.
I sleep for
four hours before Brad wakes me and informs me the babies are looking for food,
‘are you breast feeding?’ he enquires.
‘Yes’ I sit up
and stretch my sore body, ‘god I ache in places I didn’t know existed’ I mutter
as I swing my legs over the side and he helps me up.
‘I remember
hearing those words before’ he mutters and I flush as my mind rewinds to the
morning after we had first made love.
‘That’s what
got us here’ I declare and he chuckles.
********
‘Do you mind I
require some privacy?’ I ask Brad as the nurse hands me my daughter who is
becoming extremely agitated through hunger, I feel self-conscious releasing my
heavy breast whilst he is looking on.
‘Nope’ he
stands firm, ‘get used to it’ he turns to the nurse ‘can I hold the other for a
while?’
‘Sure sit next
to mum and discuss names’ she replies as she helps me latch the baby onto my
nipple.
‘This is Ava’ I
announce a small while later as I stare down at my beautiful daughter gazing up
at me as she suckles at my breast.
‘Do I not have
a say?’ his face is stern as he regards me.
‘Do you really
think you can appear out of nowhere and suddenly be involved in all the
decisions?’ I send a sarcastic look in his direction and he holds my gaze as
the air crackles with tension. I sigh before adding ‘Don’t you like the name
Ava?’