Authors: Isabelle Ali
6
The next day was spent in a flurry. Larry had arranged for their car to be picked up and had notified the police that Kali would not be making any statements. Without a shred of evidence to the contrary, they’d simply ruled it an accident. They didn’t even cite her for leaving the scene of an accident, just a ticket for improper lane travel. Despite his overall creepiness, she had to admit he was good at what he did.
The morning was spent the same as yesterday and as countless others. She got the kids ready for school, bugged Adam about eating breakfast,
took leftovers to Richard, and then saw everyone off. Then, she was alone again.
No party had happened yesterday. Adam had something planned but
Kali had asked him to call it off. She was still shaken from the accident and her neck hurt so badly it was causing her head to throb again. She took a painkiller and relaxed in the backyard. Glancing down, she saw Sebastian’s business card.
Kali picked it up, ran her finger
along the edge, and then brought it near her nose. She could still smell a faint scent of cologne.
Biting
her lower lip, she watched a robin fly into one of their trees. It perched itself on a branch and its head darted around, taking in its surroundings.
Kali took out her phone and dialed Elaina’s number.
“Hey, Kal,” Elaina said.
“What’re you doing right now?”
“Oh, just some shopping. I ditched work.”
“You own your business. It’s not called ditching at that point. You’re just being lazy.”
“Wow, who pissed in your Cheerios?”
“
Just kidding. Come over and pick me up. I want to go somewhere.”
“Where?”
“I’m in the mood to look at some art.”
Kali leaned back in the passenger seat as they zipped down the interstate. The top was down and the wind was blowing through
her hair. Her sunglasses felt light on her face and a calm euphoria forced her to grin like an idiot. She thought she was just in a good mood when she remembered she was on pain medication.
“So what is this place?” Elaina asked as she took their exit.
“Just a gallery I want to check out.”
“Well, it’s not a bar, but I guess we could meet some cute guys here.”
Kali didn’t respond. She was surveying her surroundings. She was rarely in Santa Monica but the city had an amazing feel to it. Young and vibrant. The ocean right there, groups of youth walking around in wetsuits and diving shorts. Surfboards glued under their arms.
She came
here a lot when she was at UCLA and would spend the entire day at the beach. Dreaming about the time when she could actually afford to buy the items she was looking at. One day, she promised herself, she would get out of her studio apartment and have the life she dreamed of as a child.
The address was a red brick building. Hip, but old. The walls on the first floor were just glass and inside she
could see abstract art hanging in every available space. Elaina parked at the curb, fitting snuggly between two Prius’.
“Ready?” she said, unbuckling her seat belt.
“Yeah.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Kali, I’ve known you ten years. Don’t bullshit me. What’s wrong?”
“Maybe we shouldn’t go in?”
“What? We just drove an hour to get here. You bet your ass we’re going in. And then we’re hitting that bar across the street.”
Elaina got out, walked around the car, and opened Kali’s door. Kali sighed and got out. Elaina put her arm around hers as they strolled into the building.
The space was cool and the air conditioner was on. A security guard sat at a desk off to the side. He looked up a
t them, and then down, and then did a double take. Probably of Elaina, Kali thought. Men were always instant slaves to her.
They ambled around the hallway, glancing up at the large abstracts that took up the walls. They came across an elevator and a listing of all the tenants was next to it. Sebastian’s name was on the
third floor.
“
That’s the one,” Kali said.
They rode the elevator up. When they stepped off, Kali saw that the third floor
was identical to the first except that the art on the walls was different. Sebastian’s studio was around the corner and she hesitated a second.
“What’s wrong?” Elaina said.
“Nothing.”
She rounded the corner and came across his studio. The door was open. They stepped inside.
The studio was a loft complete with furniture, a kitchen, bathroom and television. He lived here. She felt like an intruder, but at the same time, it excited her. She heard someone in another room and saw him in front of a large canvas. He had no beanie now, and his golden hair flowed down over his neck. He was just wearing a tank-top, revealing the tight, lean body underneath.
“Ho-
ly cr-ap,” Elaina whispered.
“Be good.”
Sebastian turned to them. He smiled, as though expecting her, and the smile gave Kali chills.
“Hi,” she said awkwardly.
“Hi.”
“Um, I just wanted to come by and thank you for everything yesterday.”
“You’re welcome.”
Elaina glanced from one of them to the other. “Hi, I’m Elaina. I’m here too.”
Sebastian’s eyes didn’t move from Kali’s. He placed his brush down and glanced up to the painting. “Have a look.”
Kali stepped into the room. She came close to him, but not too close. The painting was large, perhaps ten feet by eight feet. It was of a family at dinner. The men were dressed in suits and the women were in elegant evening gowns. Their fa
ces, though smiling, held melancholy. It was extremely subtle and if you weren’t studying it closely you’d miss it.
“A family in New Hampshire commissioned it,” he said. “
What’dya think?”
“They look sad.”
He glared at her. “You’re the first person that’s said that. I see that, too. But I wanted to capture how they really are. This is how they really are. Though they’ll probably be pissed that I showed it to them.” Gently, he brushed aside a strand of her hair, looking at the cut on her head that was healing now. “How’s your head?”
“Fine.”
Elaina cleared her throat. “Um, maybe we should head out?”
“Yeah,” Kali said, her eyes not moving from his. “Yeah, she’s right. I just wanted to say thanks. We should go.”
He didn’t move. Kali could hear her heart beating so forcefully she was afraid he might hear it. With what seemed like a feat of strength, she pulled herself away and took a step back. Then another, and another before she was standing next to Elaina.
“I’ll see
ya around,” she said.
Sebastian didn’t say anything. He held her gaze until she turned and walked out of the studio. Neither of the women spoke until they were on the elevator heading down.
“What the hell was that?” Elaina said.
“I was in that accident yesterday. He just helped me out. He was driving behind me or something.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about. What was that between you two?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know.”
7
Kali made dinner for her family.
Chicken and pasta with vegetables. As she stood in the kitchen and cooked, her thoughts drifted. She thought of her life before Adam, about what she was like. About what he was like and why she’d fallen in love with him.
Adam had been charismatic
and, truth be told, unusual. At least for her. She was living in an apartment split with four other artists and someone like Adam, who had it all together and had a real career, who wasn’t just drifting through life, seemed like a unique curiosity. They met when she was taken to the ER for a severe flu. She was worried because she didn’t have any money to pay for an emergency room visit. Adam, then only an EMT and making twenty grand a year, saw her there and paid for the entire thing himself. He looked up her number on her chart and called her, and they went out.
Tha
t seemed like a lifetime ago. She couldn’t even remember what that person was like, either her or Adam. They were just stupid kids in love. Rushing around like the rest of the world didn’t matter.
Bu
t life had settled in. Kids, bills, couple friends, anniversaries and holidays… that spontaneity they had wasn’t there. She remembered once when she was bored at work, Adam got someone to cover for him and picked her up and they went down and spent the night in Mexico. They drove up and down the coast, hitting every small village they could find. Now, something like that would be unthinkable.
Unless, it was with
him
.
As much as she tried not to think about him, to push him out of her thoughts, she couldn’t do it. He would push his way back in. That feeling of excitement and spontaneous life was back in her.
At least a spark of it. And the only reason she could think of why was Sebastian.
Dinner was a mess of eating, yelling, and telling stories about the day. Adam recalled the story of one woman who came into his office and wanted her knees to appear more feminine. Her kids told stories about things that had happened at recess or with their teachers. And Kali listened to all of them.
Before she had a chance to speak, dinner was over and everyone was off in their own directions. She was left alone in the kitchen to clean up, and her thoughts, by themselves, went back to Sebastian.
After everything was cleaned up, she got a glass of wine and went out on the patio. She tried to read for a while but dozed off. When she awoke, the sun had set and it was dark. Kali went upstairs and had a long
, hot shower. She dressed in a T-shirt and got into bed next to her husband. He had his reading glasses on and was reading the
Los Angeles Times
on his iPad.
“You going to the store tomorrow?” he asked.
“No. But I can. What did you need?”
“Some more of that lotion I really like. The apple one.”
“I’ll stop there then.” She paused, a silence between them. “Let’s go somewhere, Adam.”
“Where?”
“I don’t know. Let’s go to Paris.”
He grinned and looked at her. “Paris?”
“Yeah, let’s just hop on a plane and go.”
“I can’t go to Paris, sweetheart. My schedule’s solid for at least two months. Maybe around the holidays we can get out somewhere.”
“Oh. Okay.”
He leaned over and kissed her cheek. “Night.”
“Night.”
Adam turned the iPad off and placed it on the nightstand before turning the lamp off. The moonlight came through the window, lighting up the room. Kali couldn’t sleep. She just stared out the window at the open darkness, the thought of only one man on her mind. And it wasn’t her husband.
8
The next day, Kali saw everyone off and then got into her car to drive to the store. She drove past the store and got onto the interstate, heading toward Santa Monica. After a good five minutes of driving, she got off the nearest exit, and then got back on the interstate heading for her house. Then she got off another exit, turned around, and parked.
What am I doing?
She took a deep breath and turned on soft jazz. Leaning her seat back, she closed her eyes. She needed to center herself. The day was already planned. She would go to the store and pick up Adam’s lotion and a few other things. Then a neighbor of hers, Cindy, was having a few girls over for a book club. Though really it was just an excuse to drink wine and gossip. They rarely read the book assigned for the month. Then she would go home, prepare dinner, and do it all over again the next day.
She took a deep breath, opened her eyes, and headed back toward home.
The grocery store was nearly empty other than a few stay-at-home moms. She got the lotion and a few toiletries, some yogurt, though they were out of her favorite flavor of raspberry cheesecake, and she got a Diet Coke on the way out.
The drive back seemed to take longer than the drive in, but she didn’t mind. NPR had an interesting story about compulsive gamblers that lived in Las Vegas and it distracted her nearly all the way home.
Once everything was put away, she decided to walk to Cindy’s house.
Their home was immaculate. She was one of those women that had to compete with everyone.
Even her friends. Maybe especially her friends. She had to have the most expensive car, the largest house, the best stylist. Kali could picture her crying herself to sleep if one of the neighbors drove home a more expensive BMW one day.
Cindy opened the door dressed in jeans and silk blouse with a scarf, though it was easily ninety degrees.
“Hello, baby,” she said, kissing her cheek. “Good to see you.”
“You, too,” she said, stepping inside.
“Girls are all here. You read the book?”
“No, sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it. Grab a glass and come join us.”
Four women sat in a circle on imitation, white, Louis the XIV furniture. They exchanged greetings and Kali sat down on a sofa at the end. They were discussing the latest announcement from the governor’s office about driver licenses for illegal immigrants. One woman, Jennifer something, said, “I still can’t believe we haven’t rounded them all up in camps yet.”
Kali, before thinking said, “Aren’t your parents from Brazil?”
“Yeah, but that’s totally different.”
They continued discussing it as Kali zoned out and took in the room. These five women were not what she would consider friends. They were vapid, obnoxious, probably alcoholics, and secretly hated one another. But everyone here lived on the same street. There were few other groups Kali could spend time with during the day.
“Did you hear about Vanessa Lee?” Cindy said.
“No, what?” one of the other women, Rose, said.
“She’s supposedly having an affair with her boss.”
“Get out!”
One of the other women, a shy one named Bonnie, took a sip of wine and placed her glass down on
a coaster set atop the coffee table. “I had an affair once,” she said.
Everyone stopped talking. It was almost comical, like the record scratch on sitcoms.
“You did?” Cindy said.
“Oh, yeah,” Jennifer chimed in, “I remember something about this. What happened?”
She shrugged. “I met him at the gym. He was a personal trainer. We would flirt all the time but it wasn’t, you know, anything serious. I just thought we were having fun. It felt nice to have the attention. Anthony works so much… anyway. His name was Brad. And after a few months, he asked me out. And I told him I was married. And he said ‘You’re married, not buried.’ I didn’t really know what he meant but he seemed harmless. So we had lunch.”
Kali could see how painful this was for
Bonnie and she wondered why she was sharing this with everyone. “Bonnie, you don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to.”
“No, it’s good to talk about it.”
The truth was, Kali really wanted to hear what she was going to say. But Bonnie was probably the only one in the group she actually liked. And the thought of the others judging her and talking about her behind her back didn’t sit well.
“So what happened?” Jennifer asked.
“After lunch, he gave me a quick kiss and I drove home. I didn’t see him for three days and then he called me. He got my number off my gym application. And we went out to dinner.” She shook her head, staring down at the carpet, a melancholic grin coming over her. “You know it was so much fun at first. It felt like when you would sneak out of your parent’s house as a teenager. We were running around to hotel rooms and his condo. We would take little trips together and I’d tell Anthony I was at my sister’s in San Francisco. I was up there all the time anyway so he never checked.” The grin disappeared. “But it didn’t last. I felt horrible about it. Everyday. It would just… eat away at me. Every time Anthony would kiss me I felt like I was stabbing him in the heart. So I broke it off with Brad. I never heard from him again.”
“And Anthony never found out?” Cindy asked.
“I told him about a year after it happened. I couldn’t take it anymore. Secrets eat you up inside. Maybe we’re not meant to have them… I don’t know. But I had to tell him. We separated for a while. Things still aren’t the same. I feel like when he looks at me that’s all he sees. Someone that cheated on him.”
“Oh, honey,”
Jennifer said, placing her hand on Bonnie’s.
Kali
rose. “I just remembered I have something.”
“What? Now?” Cindy said.
“Yeah, sorry guys. I’ll be here next month.”
She left the house with Cindy trailing behind her. She thanked her for the wine, which she didn’t drink, and then walked back to her car. She sat in the driver’s seat and didn’t start the car for a long time.
When she did start it, she had made her decision. She wouldn’t be going back to Santa Monica.