Bethy's Heart's Hideout (Amish Circle Series Book 4) (3 page)

The store was closed for the day. Elizabeth stood outside on the wide, covered front step and locked the door. The area under the low, sloping porch roof was gloomy as the sun was positioned behind the building. Suddenly, just as she was taking the key out of the lock and putting it in a pocket in her cloak, she felt someone grab her shoulders. She jumped forward and let out a scream, then turned around to see who had grabbed her. She laughed when she saw it was Mark. He had looked worried that he had upset her but when she began to chuckle he did too.

She looked up and down the street, expecting to see the car but it was nowhere to be seen. Instead, there was a horse and buggy tied up at one of the hitching posts. He saw her brief look of disappointment and chuckled again but this time it wasn’t a totally happy laugh.

“Nope, the car’s gone. My parents have fully committed to this going Amish thing. You know, the
Ordnung
and its rules and all that renouncing the modern world stuff. I get to drive a buggy like a
gut
Amish man would. Mind you, I haven’t had as much practice with the horses as I had with the car but heck. It’s all about living the
gut
life, right?”

“What do you mean, this ‘going Amish thing’? I don’t quite understand what your parents are trying to do. You’re Amish but you’re not? Aren’t you either all Amish or all
Englisch
?” Elizabeth shook her head. She had heard about people leaving the
Ordnung
and she knew that sometimes people either came back or decided to join but she had never really heard of someone who wanted to be a part of the community but still drive cars and be a part of the modern world. Elizabeth didn’t really understand how the Mennonites fit in to her world and was desperately trying to understand this strange man and his odd ways.

“My
familye
is Mennonite. Well, we were. We came from the same place that you guys did and we still speak the same language and stuff. But, like, we use electricity and can listen to modern music and drive cars. We have more fun. You know, fun? It’s that thing that seems seriously lacking around here?” Mark seemed angry and a little bitter although Elizabeth thought she might feel the same way if she was forced to move and join the lifestyle without really wanting to.

“I know you said you thought corn sounded boring and it can be,” Elizabeth said. “I may not be able to make it any more interesting but I can show you one of the more fun-filled areas around. Do you want to take a bit of a detour on our way home?” She looked over at Mark and saw that he was considering her offer. He nodded and the two youngsters made plans to head off in the opposite direction from home.

They talked as they unhitched the buggy and drove slowly along the road. Mark was still getting comfortable with driving the buggy and steering the horses so he was taking things slowly. Elizabeth tried talking to him about the different things that the young men and women did to pass the time. Every suggestion she made was met with an incredulous look as if Mark couldn’t believe that anyone would consider it fun in any way. Elizabeth was beginning to get very frustrated with him. She asked him questions about his Mennonite lifestyle and what the outside world was like.

Before long, they had travelled about a mile. Elizabeth had been watching the side of the road and there was a specific spot she was looking for. When she saw the narrow lane appear out of the fading light, she told Mark to turn the buggy down the road. Before long it narrowed even further and they hopped out of the buggy so that they could lead the horses along the narrow, rutted track. It opened out into a large cornfield. There was a place where they could hitch the horses so that they would be comfortable.

Then, after they had made sure that everything was well set up, she showed Mark an opening in a hedge. They squatted down on all fours and began to crawl through the hole. The hedge was thick and the hole ran along its length rather than directly from one side to another. They crawled for a little while and suddenly the narrow tunnel opened up.

They emerged from the hedge into another corn field where the stalks grew close and dense. There was an open area that was in the shape of a circle. It was small; when Elizabeth was young, she was able to fit into it with three or four of her friends but now that she was older, it was only large enough for her and Mark to lie down together.

He looked at her and she could tell he was waiting for something interesting to happen. She smiled apologetically and gestured around at the clearing.

“This is it, I’m afraid. This is my hideout. I come here a lot. It’s just about the only place I can come where nobody can find me. I like having the chance to get away from my parents. I used to come here with some of my friends when we were younger but I’m about the only one that comes here anymore. It’s my special place and I wanted to share it with you.” She looked down and hoped that the gathering shadows wouldn’t allow Mark to see her blushing.

Mark had to admit that it was very peaceful here. There was the soft murmur of the wind moving through the corn stalks. He heard insects and small birds moving around, getting ready for the approaching night. The world suddenly seemed both very large and very small at the same time. He looked over at Elizabeth and, for the first time, didn’t mind that his parents had uprooted him and brought him here.

The light dimmed even more. The stars came out and Elizabeth lay down on her back so that she could get a better look at the sky. She loved the way the stars seemed to spin and turn above her as she watched them. Before long, she heard the sounds of Mark lying down beside her. They stopped speaking and simply stared up at the sky, happy to just be together. Then, suddenly, Elizabeth felt Mark shifting position again and she felt his hand touching hers. After a moment of hesitation, she reached out and took it.

The horses lowered their heads and snacked on the grass around them. They moved around a bit in the deepening summer night and waited for their humans to come back. A short distance away, Elizabeth and Mark slowly, gradually, drifted off to sleep.

For a moment, Elizabeth felt disoriented as she opened her eyes. She felt stiff and cold and damp. She expected that she would look around and see her bedroom around her but all she could see was corn, and a strange young man that she had only met yesterday. With a sinking feeling she began to remember what had happened. She felt a wave of panic rising in her stomach and stood up. Her movement woke Mark who looked around and seemed as disoriented as she was when she first woke up.

Mark looked at her and was shocked by how upset she seemed. It was true, her hair was messy and her dress was soiled but he didn’t understand why Elizabeth seemed so upset. He stood up and brushed the dirt from his pants and jacket and then tried to move closer to Elizabeth but she stepped back away from him.

“What’s your problem?” Mark thought that his question came out a little more harshly than he had planned it to and from the look on Elizabeth’s face he could tell she was getting more and more upset. “Look, all we did was fall asleep in a field. Chill out. What’s the worst that could happen? You act like you’ve never stayed out past curfew or done anything like this before!” Mark tried to move closer to Elizabeth and was shocked by how angry she seemed. Her face was red and she was pacing rapidly around the clearing. Her fingers tore at her hair as she frantically tried to put it in a bun and tie it back up under her hairnet and
kapp
.

“Chill out? What does that even mean? Of course I’m acting like I have never stayed out past curfew. I never have! I have more respect for my parents than to let them worry about me. I have more respect for myself than to be seen hanging around with some
Englischer
who thinks he’s Amish!”

“I’m Mennonite,” yelled Mark. “It’s the same
Gott-
forsaken thing! Jeez!” Suddenly, he realized he may have gone too far. Elizabeth went from being furious to being totally calm and cold.

“It’s not the same thing, and for you not to realize that means that you are so far away from the path that I want to be on.” She screwed her face up and spat on the ground near his feet. “You keep away from me. You’re dangerous. You’re not even Amish. You don’t know how far you’ve strayed from the path! You’re- you’re WORSE than if you were
Englisch
. I don’t ever want to see you come near me again.” She stalked off out of the clearing, her entire form a picture of outrage.

Mark felt his mouth opening and closing. He was shocked by the way she had spoken to him. No girl had ever been so rude to him. At first he was angry. How dare she invite him somewhere and act like she enjoyed being with him, only to act so two-faced in the morning. He was working up to a fine fury as he walked out of the corn field and set off to find his parents’ horses and the buggy that they had been hitched to.

The sun was coming up and burning the mist off the fields. Elizabeth emerged from the tunnel she had crawled down the night before and passed the spot where the horses were still tethered up. She felt bad for them not only because they had spent the night out in the open but also because they were owned by someone who was, in her mind, one of the worst kinds of people she had ever met. She couldn’t believe that she had let herself be taken in by someone who was so false and dishonest; so far from everything she was looking for in a man.

No self-respecting Amish man would have spent the night with her in such a way. They would have respected her and her
familye
and taken her home even if they had fallen asleep. Or, at the very least, they would have understood why she was so upset instead of acting like it was no big deal. It was a huge deal! For Mark not to understand and to try and make jokes about how she needed to lighten up was a total outrage.

He could say anything about her, she realized. He could speak with local people and tell them that she had let her have his way with her, that she had not behaved in a seemly and appropriate way and they could very well take his word for it. Her shame would spread throughout the settlement. Now, when anyone came into the store she would have to wonder if they were whispering about her. She would wonder if they were talking about her behind her back and whether they only came to the store to gawk at the foolish Amish girl who had let a stranger take advantage of her even though they had only recently met.

She began to cry. All she wanted was to be able to leave and to start over. If she was lucky, she would be able to get far enough away that anything that boy had to say about her wouldn’t follow her. She wondered if he really knew who she was. He could have thought she was any one of a number of local girls. If she was lucky, maybe he wouldn’t say anything and then her reputation would be safe. She would just have to make sure that she never saw him again.

Elizabeth broke into a run as she tried to get home as quickly as possible. She knew she was in trouble. She had stayed out all night without letting her parents know where she was or (fortunately) who she was with. She knew that she would have no trouble staying away from this strange and troubling young man in the future and was almost hoping that her
daedd
and
maemm
would demand that of her. It would be a relief to have a real and tangible reason to avoid him in the future.

She thought about which way she could get home quickest. The field was actually located in the opposite direction from her
haus
and it had taken them a little while to get there using a horse and buggy. Elizabeth knew that by the time she reached home, the sun would be fully up and her parents would be well aware of her absence. She wasn’t mistaken.

Not only were her parents waiting for her, her friends were as well. Grace, Jane and Hannah were all sitting with her father in the kitchen. Elizabeth knew that her
maemm
had already headed in to the store so that she could open it up for the day. Elizabeth hated the fact that she had made her parents and her friends worry about her as much as they had. This was just one more sign that she needed to keep her head on straight and ensure that she kept to the rules set out by the
Ordnung
. If one lived a righteous and forthright life there was less regret for themselves and the people they cared about.

She was expecting her
daedd
to be waiting for her with an angry look on his face and recrimination on his lips but that was not what happened. He quietly sat back and let her friends have the first words and they cut straight to Elizabeth’s heart. These were the girls that she loved like
schweschders
and the fact that they were beseeching her to stay wounded her deeply. Grace spoke first.

“Elizabeth, please do not go. You’ve always been a
gut
friend to me. Without your wise counsel, your
bruder
and I may never have realized how we felt for one another. I have been looking forward to becoming your
schweschder
if
Gott
determines that Jacob and I should be married. I love you, Elizabeth. Please, don’t leave me before we see what the future has in store?” Tears were streaming down Grace’s face and Elizabeth hated the knowledge that her friend was so sad she was leaving.

“
Ach
, Elizabeth, you and I have been so close, ever since we were young!” Hannah had decided to speak up next. “All through my illness you were there for me and it breaks my heart to think that you were hurting and I didn’t realize it. Please, Elizabeth, don’t leave me. I love you. Don’t leave your circle of friends. We can’t let our circle be broken!” Tears glistened in Hannah’s eyes and called forth answering tears from Elizabeth.

“Elizabeth, you and I may not have spent as much time together as you have with our other friends but you’re still one of my closest friends. You understand what it’s like to miss out on things because we have to each help our own
familye
with the store and the restaurant. None of my other friends understand that. Please, Elizabeth, I love you. Don’t leave just yet. Please?”

Elizabeth was surprised when Jane had spoken. She was normally more quiet and reserved about her feelings although she was happy to talk about other topics and could be quite a chatterbox. Most of what people knew about Jane was surface stuff, inconsequential things and Elizabeth knew that she was one of the only people who knew Jane’s heart. The girls circled around Elizabeth and linked arms.

Then, Hannah spoke up again and began to chant the promise that they had made years ago. As the words of the promise began to flow from her mouth, each of the girls joined in and finally, even Elizabeth added her voice to the quartet.

“We are
schweschders
although
Gott
has chosen for us each to belong to a different
familye
. We know not what He has in store for us but we trust in His wisdom. We are a circle and will not let it be broken. We promise this to ourselves and to each other.” Elizabeth remembered the scene like it was yesterday and knew that the other girls did as well. They all remembered the promise they had made in a circular clearing in a cornfield just a couple miles from the spot they stood in now.

The girls filed out of the kitchen and Elizabeth’s
daedd
watched them leave. He knew how important the girls were to his
dochtah
and that was why he had invited them there. He didn’t want Elizabeth to leave but he didn’t want her to be unhappy here either. He simply hoped that the circle of friends would be enough to convince Elizabeth to stay here with her
familye
instead of leaving for Ohio.

He also knew that staying out all night was completely out of character for Elizabeth and knew that there had to be an explanation. He trusted his
dochtah
and knew that she would tell him what was running through her mind in good time. He decided to probe a little and asked her where she had been the night before. She blushed and he guessed that perhaps she had been with a boy.

“
Ach, Daedd
, I fell asleep watching the stars. I was more tired than I realized when I lay down. I hope I didn’t make you or anyone else worry. It won’t happen again.” She looked down at the floor, wondering what her
Daedd
would make of her explanation. She was a little worried he would be angry with her but he didn’t seem to be. In fact, he smiled and nodded at her and what he said next surprised her.

“Elizabeth, you have always been a
gut
and proper young woman. Sometimes
Gott
directs our lives in ways we do not expect and all we can do is trust that He is leading us in the right direction. Sometimes His signs are not always clear. Maybe, instead of worrying that this was a bad thing, maybe you should think that you could have had a reason for staying here instead. Please, Elizabeth, won’t you at least think about what we are all telling you?”

Elizabeth went away with a heavy heart and a lot to consider.