Best Kept Secrets (5 page)

But why had he woken me before the pancakes were ready? And in such a strange way too. Why had he growled at me?

Josh growled again and leaned over my supine form. For the first time I looked at him—really
looked
—and what I saw scared me to death. His eyes were somehow
wrong
. There was something missing from their dark-blue depths—the part that made him human.

I shoved the strange thought aside and attempted to sit up. But Josh simply pushed me back down. He had his arms on either side of me, bracketing my small body with his much larger one as he leaned over me possessively.

“Very funny, Josh,” I said impatiently. “Now let me get u—” The rest of the word was lost as he took my mouth in a savage kiss. I gasped and pushed at his chest, unable to believe he was doing this. But Josh only took advantage of my surprised gasp to press his tongue between my lips.

I moaned in surprise as he ravaged my mouth, kissing me in a way I had never dreamed of. He slid his hot, hard hands under my shirt.

Somehow I managed to tear my mouth from his in time to gasp, “Josh, no!” But I was too late. Already he had found my breasts and was cupping and squeezing them both in a way that made me moan with mingled pleasure and disbelief.

“Josh, what are you doing? Stop!” I begged, but my pleas fell on deaf ears. His long fingers were twisted in my bra, trying vainly to find a way past the ungiving fabric to my bare breasts below.

What’s wrong with him?
I wondered as I tried to push him off.
If he wants the bra off so badly, why doesn’t he unfasten it in the back?
But apparently Josh had forgotten anything he ever knew about female undergarments. Or else he was just too impatient to deal with mine.

With a frustrated roar, he rose above me and grasped both my shirt and bra in his hands. His biceps tensed, and I heard a low, ripping sound as he tore both garments in half, right down the middle.

“Josh!” I protested, trying to cover my suddenly bare breasts with my arms. But he was having none of it. Gripping both my wrists in one of his large hands, he pinned them above my head. Since his lower half was pressing against my pelvis and legs, I was now completely helpless beneath him—and I had no idea what he was going to do.

I had the answer to my question soon enough when Josh ducked his head and took one of my nipples into his mouth. Moaning in mingled pleasure and shame, I bucked up against him, trying to get free. He only took this as an invitation to suck my other nipple, however, and before I knew it he was lapping and sucking both of them.

I felt like I was trapped in some strange, surreal dream. This wasn’t Josh. He would never do such a thing—would never frighten me like this. And yet he
was
.

“Josh,” I whispered hoarsely. “Josh,
please
.” But there was no stopping him and nothing I could do but watch as he sucked and lapped at my ripe tits. My nipples were puffy and red from his attentions and there were dark-pink love marks all over the pale slopes of my breasts, and still he continued.

After I got over my initial shock, I became aware that what he was doing was affecting me. Affecting me
a lot
. Though I knew it was wrong, my pussy was suddenly hot and slick with moisture, and my clit was throbbing with need. Biting my bottom lip with shame, I squeezed my legs together, trying to deny the sensation, the illicit desire. Unfortunately, my actions seemed to shift Josh’s attentions from my breasts to the area between my legs.

One large hand slid between our bodies, and he probed at the wet triangle of cotton between my thighs. Gasping, I pressed my legs together even harder in an effort to make him stop. Just because my nipples were hard and my pussy was wet didn’t mean I wanted this. My body reacting to his couldn’t mean what he was doing to me was okay…and oh God, what was he
doing
to me?

Josh was trying to get into my panties. His long fingers moving over the sensitive V between my legs felt good—
frighteningly
good. I thrashed under him, trying to get free as he groped between my thighs. No matter how good it felt, I had to stop this, had to stop Josh before he did something we would both regret forever!

But there was no fighting Josh’s superior strength. Soon enough, I felt him tangle his fingers in my underwear. He jerked, and when his hand came away, my virginal white cotton panties were clutched in his fist. A cool breeze blew against my naked pussy and knew I was in serious trouble.

Oh my God
, I thought, nearly fainting with terror.
He’s going to take me now—I just know he is!
In my mind’s eye, it was already happening. I could see the whole thing. Josh’s broad, muscular body covering my own, him parting my thighs and thrusting the blunt battering ram of his cock deep into my tight pussy, taking my virginity once and for all.

But no such thing happened. Instead, Josh’s invading hand turned suddenly…gentle. Could this be right? I blinked in surprise as he cupped my pussy mound almost reverently in his big, warm palm. Slowly, he released my arms.

“Josh?” I looked at him uncertainly, but the part of him that was missing—the human, reasoning part—was still gone. But the Beast I saw lurking within seemed to speak to me through my stepbrother’s expressive eyes.

I’m sorry,
the Beast seemed to say as he gently massaged my mound.
So sorry but I need you this way…need to touch you. To be with you. Please, Cassie. Please…

I didn’t know if I was imagining it or not, but something inside me—the core of my resistance—seemed to melt at that point. I didn’t know why Josh was doing this, but it was clear this was something he wanted…no, something he
needed
. And though I knew it was wrong, I found myself wanting to give it to him.

“All right,” I said softly, reaching up to cup his warm, scratchy cheek and looking into those lovely, inhuman eyes. “It’s all right, Josh. You…you can touch me.”

Then, though it was one of the hardest things I had ever done, I spread my thighs and welcomed him in.

As he explored my pussy with his fingers, I tried not to think about what was happening. Tried not to remember that it was Josh touching me so intimately, spreading my cunt lips open and tracing my throbbing clit with one careful fingertip. But I couldn’t stop the pleasure spreading through me nor quench the fire his touch ignited in my body.

Despite his inhuman actions up until now, he was being so
gentle
. So tender and sweet. The way he explored my open cunt and stroked over my tender button was exactly how I imagined the real Josh touching me—or Josh when he was in his right mind, anyway.

Not that we would ever do this while he was truly himself—it would be unthinkable. But if we did for some reason, I knew Josh would be careful and kind during my first time. He would break me in gently, making sure I was wet and ready before he thrust his long, hard cock deep into my unresisting pussy…

What’s wrong with you? Stop thinking like that!
I lectured myself, but I couldn’t stop the forbidden thoughts any more than I could stop Josh from touching me. There was nothing I could do but lie back and let the intense sensations wash over me. Nothing I could do but spread my legs and let him own me.

Soon my pleasure grew unbearable and I knew that I was about to come. It really hit me then, what was happening.
I am going to have an orgasm from Josh fingering me.
And I wasn’t even trying to stop him anymore. I was just lying there on the sleeping blanket with my thighs spread wide as he stroked my naked pussy.

Shame washed over me, but all the shame in the world couldn’t stop the flood of pleasure as Josh continued to stroke my open cunt.

“Josh,” I whispered, bucking under his hand. “Oh God, we shouldn’t…shouldn’t do this. Please…please…”

I wasn’t sure if I was pleading with him to stop or to never stop. I felt strangely hazy at that point, and I had an odd but distinct feeling that it was all right to give in and let him do whatever he wanted, no matter what it happened to be. I even spread my legs wider and welcomed him in when he pressed two long fingers deep in my cunt and began to finger-fuck me.

My maidenhead was long gone—courtesy of a vibrator on one of the long, lonely nights in space—but Josh’s were the first fingers I had ever had inside me other than my own. The sensation was so intense I nearly fainted. And the only thing I wanted was
more
.

“Josh,” I gasped and curled my hands into fists. “Don’t stop! Oh God, please…”

But he did stop—very suddenly too. To my surprise, his hand and entire body suddenly went limp, and he collapsed on top of me.

Chapter Six

“Josh?
Josh?
” The illicit pleasure that had raced through my body was completely forgotten as I rolled his unconscious form off me and stared anxiously at his face. His eyes were closed and he seemed to be breathing normally, his broad chest rising and falling evenly. In fact, he looked like he was fast asleep. But how could he fall so deeply asleep so suddenly, especially right in the middle of touching me? What in the world was going on?

Suddenly Josh’s eyes popped open, and he smiled at me. “Hey, Cass, what’s up?”

“Josh?” I stared at him uncertainly. He seemed normal enough, and that indefinable something that made him human was back in his gaze. Apparently the Beast was gone. Still, I wasn’t sure. “Josh, are you…are you really
you
?” I blurted.

“Am I really me?” He laughed. “What kind of question is that? Who else would I be?”

“Uh…” I hesitated. Then I realized that I was still half-naked with my breasts exposed and my skirt pushed up to show my pussy. Josh seemed to notice it at the same time.

“Uh, Cassie?” He looked at me uncertainly. “Are you all right? You look like… I mean what happened to your clothes? You’re pretty messed up.”

I stared at him and realized that he remembered nothing, absolutely
nothing
of what had just happened. I opened my mouth to tell him everything—the way he had kissed me and ripped my clothes, the way he had touched and explored my pussy…and then closed it again.

Hadn’t I promised myself that I would preserve our relationship at all costs? Josh already hated himself for being attracted to me. If I told him he had acted on that attraction, and in such an extreme way, our relationship might never recover. And Josh would
hate
himself—I couldn’t have that. So I did the only thing I could do.

I lied.

“I, uh, tripped on a root and my blouse caught on a branch and tore,” I said, pulling the ragged edges of my shirt together as well as I could over my breasts.

“Oh yeah?” He frowned. “And why is your mouth all red?”

I could hardly tell him it was red from his kisses. Or that my nipples were pink and puffy from his sucking. Or that my pussy was wet from the way he had touched me.

“I, uh…I think my lips are chapped,” I improvised. “I’d better go to the tent and get changed.”

“Yeah, you do that.” Josh smiled, apparently willing to accept my lame explanation. “When you come out, the pancakes should be ready.”

“Pancakes?” I said weakly. I had completely forgotten about them—not surprising with the strange things that had happened between the two of us.

“Sure, blueberry pancakes—your favorite.” Josh grinned at me. “I woke up early to take a bath in the stream and then decided to make them. Too bad you woke up before they were finished.”

“Yeah, too bad,” I murmured, tugging at my skirt. “Uh, I really should get changed.”

“Be sure you wear something that will fit under our protective gear,” he said seriously. “We’re going after the truth plant again today, only this time we’re going prepared.”

“What?” A shiver of fear raced through me. “Josh, no. We can’t go back! What if it sprays you again?”

He frowned. “What do you mean? I stepped out of the way just in time—remember?” He shook his head. “God knows what it’s spraying, but we need a sample for Pharm-Co. Need to get some of the leaves too.”

“Are you serious?” I looked at him in disbelief. “You really think you jumped out of the way?”

“Of course I did—and pulled you out of the way too.” He looked at me closely. “Are you all right, Cass? You’re acting kind of strange.”

“
I’m
acting kind of strange? Josh, you—” But then I remembered my promise to myself. “Never mind.” I got to my feet and wobbled unsteadily to the tent. “I…I’ll be right back.”

“Good. I’ll get started on the pancakes.” He went back to the hot griddle and began mixing ingredients and humming softly to himself.

Shaking my head in disbelief, I stumbled into the tent and closed the flap. But instead of changing my shredded clothes, I just sat there in the middle of the tent, my mind churning with unwanted thoughts.

It was obvious that Josh remembered nothing about what had happened with the truth plant yesterday. Instead, he had made up his own version of events in which we both got out of the way of the plant’s toxic spray just in time. If I asked him, he would probably say he remembered us having dinner and then falling asleep under the stars too. But what had actually happened to him while I was asleep?

Well, it seemed clear that he had woken up and taken a bath in the stream, just as he claimed. I wondered if he had been anxious about waking up naked or if his mind had simply edited out that little detail too. Of course the really big question was how he could forget his attack on me.

It wasn’t really that much of an attack, a little voice in my head pointed out. You were shocked at first, but then you just lay there and let him. You even enjoyed it. Hell, he made you come. Do you get that? You let Josh make you come.

I tried to push the nasty little voice away, but it just wouldn’t stop. It was the voice of my guilt talking, and I knew it. This was different from the shower incident, which had basically been an accident. This time Josh had touched me on purpose, and I had
liked
it—had had an orgasm from the way he stroked and fingered my pussy.

The problem was he didn’t remember any of it, and there was no way I could possibly tell him.