Beneath the Mall of Madness (A Jaspar Windisle Mystery Book 1) (27 page)

“Only when it counts, eh, Noah?” I said. Cassandra straightened as if I’d slapped her. “Obadiah didn’t care for logic problems, but he would never throw away a gift, would he? How many other people are holding onto traps you made?” Cassandra was glaring at me. “How many paths to immortality did you try to pursue?” I put my hand on Cassandra’s face. I could feel it, nebulous as any other shade. This time, I didn’t press it gently into place. I grabbed it and yanked. Cassandra looked at me with a dazed expression, then at what I was holding.

“What’s that?” she whispered.

The ghost of Noah Whateley glared at me, his hands clutching at my arm, trying to break my grip. He was taller than me, and in life he would have been much stronger than me. As a shade, his strength was nothing compared to mine. I should have felt superior. The only trouble was now that I’d caught him I had no idea what to do with him.

“Jesus Christ,” Steve said, taking it all in. “I’ve never encountered a real ghost before.”

“Neither have I,” I said. That had to be what this was. Noah Whateley was far too articulate in death to be a shade. He was cursing me in languages I didn’t even know.

“Is there any end to the Whateley clan?” Steve asked.

“Not while this man is around, I’m guessing,” I said. I sighed. “Are you all right, Dr. Cassidy?”

“I’m not sure,” she said. “Did you pull that out of me?”

“Yes, and please, accept my apology for giving you a cursed book.”

“Oh no,” she said. “I did ask for it.” I returned my attention to Noah Whateley.

“What will it take to get you to rest in peace?” I asked him.

“I’ll never rest!” He told me. “Never!”

“Call Fiona and ask her if she knows where he’s interred,” I told Steve. “No, wait. Let’s go next door. I think I know someone who can help us out.”

“Fiona is at Ms. Bishop’s,” Steve reminded me.

“No, the other next door,” I corrected him. “I know a shortcut.”

Finding out he owned yet another property with hidden tunnels proved too much for Steve. He didn’t say a word as we all trekked into the tunnel and over to Legion’s house. Once he realized where we were, Noah Whateley really began making a fuss. I barely touched the basement door when it was flung open. Legion looked upon the ghost of his former master with unholy glee.

“We’re going to be best friends, Jaspar,” he told me. “You bring me such nice surprises.” He was wearing the red coat and a pirate hat. I hoped it would be enough to fool Cassandra. She’d followed us and was muttering to herself about assessments and analysis. Legion reached out and grabbed the ghost. Noah Whateley screamed and heaped verbal abuse upon his former servant.

“Follow me if you’d like,” Legion told us. Since I was still holding onto the ghost, I didn’t have much of a choice. Steve followed me. Dr. Cassidy pulled out a tape measure.

“I wouldn’t want to intrude,” she said. “I’ll just wait out here. Do you have a pen by any chance?”

“Take care,” I told her, handing her one. She got busy measuring the tunnel. I suppose she hadn’t given up on her machine, even after all this.

Legion led us upstairs, through the dining room and down a hallway until we reached a workroom of some sort. Steve took in the powders and vials lying out with interest. Legion went straight to the desk in the back of the room and picked up a bell jar.

“I ordered this the day you died,” He told Noah Whateley. “I know every experiment you’ve done, you see. Even things you did so long ago you don’t remember them. Please let go of him, Jaspar.”

Once I did, he seized the still shouting ghost and stuffed it into the jar. I was amazed that it fit. When Legion capped the jar, it glowed red. A bead I hadn’t noticed earlier rose to float in the middle of the jar.

“Perfect,” Legion said. He put the jar back on the desk and flung his arms around me. I hugged him back gingerly.

“Is anyone going to tell me what’s going on?” Steve asked.

“That was a piece of Noah Whateley’s soul,” Legion said after releasing me. “He was an evil wizard. Now he’s dead, but he’s still evil, and I trapped him in that jar.”

“I see,” Steve said. He looked at the desk. “Do you make a habit of trapping dead wizards in jars?” Noah’s jar was one of many on the table. It was the only one with a floating bead in it.

“These are all for Noah,” Legion said. “He scattered pieces of himself all over the place. Someday I’m going to catch them all.”

“Ah,” Steve said. “You’re a familiar, aren’t you?” Legion glared up at him.

“What’s it to you?” he demanded.

“Nothing. This is why I don’t have a familiar, is all.” He turned to me.

“How long do you think Dr. Cassidy was possessed?” I tried to think.

“She was still herself when she collapsed,” I said. “Maybe since she started rebuilding her machine?” That led me to something else. “She and the real Dr. Finch are going to have a hard time dealing with each other after this. They’ve both been talking to fakes.”

“They’ll get over it,” Legion said. “Whoever they are. You didn’t bring me a cheeseburger, did you?”

“No,” I said. “Sorry, I didn’t expect to come back till later. I actually have some pressing business tonight.”

“Oh. Then come back tomorrow.”

“Sure.”

Steve stared at everything as we made our way out of the house. Cassandra had moved further down the tunnel, so we had a moment to ourselves.

“You’ve been visiting a loose familiar without telling me?”

“I only met him today,” I said. “And it’s lucky I did. I had no idea what to do with Noah’s ghost. I don’t even know where his grave is.”

“Now that you’ve promised, you’d better get him that cheeseburger. Familiars are dangerous when crossed.”

“I figured as much,” I said.

“But it might be good for you to have a friend your own height. You even match in those coats.” I punched Steve’s shoulder.

“What are we going to do about Dr. Cassidy?” I asked him. “I don’t think she should be alone while we take back the hotel.”

“I’ll stay with her,” he said with a sigh. “It’s clear I need to pay more attention to what’s going on on my property.”

Staying with Dr. Cassidy would prove easier said than done. She wasn’t in the tunnel anymore. After some searching and phone calls, we found her back in the storm cellar, glaring at her machine.

“Just look at this,” she said when we arrived, ignoring our questions about her health.

“Tell me you exorcised that son of a bitch! If you haven’t, I’m going to kill him! I don’t know what’s been done to my poor machine!” To me, it looked as incomprehensible as ever.

“You might try calling Dr. Finch,” I told her. “I believe he was consulted about some of the details.”

“Oh yes,” she said, “the two of us need to have a long chat. We’ve been working in the same building for twelve years, and neither of us can spot an imposter!”

I left the two of them to puzzle over the machine and returned to Cecilia’s. I was just in time to eat dinner and triple check that the portal penguins were ready to go. The others were only moderately interested in hearing about the doctor’s episode. I kept the details light; I told myself it was to avoid distracting anyone. At sunset, we set out for the hotel.

There were problems immediately. The portal penguins didn’t want to leave the truck at first. They only left when I came over to help Agent Steiner haul them out. Then the fake FBI agents started coming out of the building sooner than we expected. One of them pointed his gun at one of the penguins, and Earl shot him. The agent didn’t even flinch, just aimed again and fired. He missed, but it was enough. You know how I’ve been talking about how soft and fluffy the portal penguins are, and how they hadn’t been anything more than a nuisance up until this point? They’re hiding some serious hardware under all those feathers. I went from struggling with an armful of overexcited down pillow to watching as a pack of vicious killers surrounded the agent. It was like Jurassic Park with more barking.

“Was that part of the plan?” Agent Starr asked.

“Don’t ask me,” I said.

It’s hard to describe a monster being torn apart by a pack of angry alien turkeys, but that was what was happening. Some of the other fake agents rushed out to help. The portal penguins ignored them, but Earl didn’t. Not all of them had guns, but the ones who did returned fire. I decided the most useful thing I could do was hide, so I crawled under Earl’s truck.

The portal penguins were winning their fight with the monster. It may have been immune to bullets, but it wasn’t immune to being disemboweled and eaten. In light of this, I was not entirely happy when a portal penguin started sniffing around the truck.

Earl was in his element. Watching him gun down men who were only probably mass murderers, I could believe he used to hijack trains for a living. He dropped behind a car to reload, and shots came from the hotel. Agent Steiner fired back. He must have borrowed a gun from somewhere. As far as I knew his gun was still in pieces at the bottom of Bishop’s Corner. I shoved a portal penguin’s beak away from my face and worried about Theresa.

I didn’t know how many cultists were in the hotel. It had looked like over a dozen when we were looking into the mixing bowl. It seemed likely that they were concentrated in the lobby to deal with our attack. I started crawling under the cars until I got to the edge of the parking lot closest to the bar. There didn’t seem to be anyone around, so I ran to the side of the building. The bar entrance was open, and I went in. Some of the portal penguins followed me.

The bar was deserted. I went to the interior door and peered through the glass. I couldn’t see anyone in the lobby. I opened the door a crack, and a portal penguin barreled through. There was cursing on the other side of the door and a gunshot. The portal penguin squeaked. I backed up, and the remaining penguins surged forward. The cursing turned to screams. I listened for any more voices. After a minute of silence, I entered the lobby. I hurried through since even if all the cultists were dead Earl was still out front shooting. I checked behind the front desk, and no one was there. The dining room was also empty. When I looked out the window into the garden, I saw the Dr. Finch imposter and two cultists. One of them was carrying Theresa, and one was forcing Zebulon to walk forward at gunpoint. They were headed towards the forest.

I didn’t give it much thought. I ran downstairs to the trophy room. This is where they had taken the man we’d seen earlier. Someone had decided that he was expendable, and bits of him were scattered all over the floor and some of the trophies. I tried not to vomit and reached for the weirdest, most intimidating trophies I could see. I avoided the ones that had guts on them. I didn’t want to raise a person, after all.

***

Seeing the elderly Mr. Whateley’s trophies in the flesh didn’t make them look any less alien. I tried not to look too hard at what I had raised. Instead, I stood still long enough to get their attention, and then ran for the door. Even though they were insubstantial, I could hear clattering and scraping behind me as I ran up the stairs. Praying that Earl hadn’t come in yet, I ran into the lobby and, accompanied by the excited baying of the portal penguins, I ran out the back door.

Of course as soon as I did the cultist with the gun turned and started shooting at me. He missed. Instead of trying again he screamed and started firing wildly at the creatures behind me. The cultist who had been carrying Theresa dropped her and ran into the marsh.

The Finch creature turned and sneered at me, then his eyes widened as he saw the pack of monsters following me. I ran to where Theresa was lying on the ground. To my relief, she was awake. She’d only been tied up and gagged. I untied her legs and turned to Zebulon. He was struggling with the cultist for control of the gun. Both of them were having a hard time staying on their feet as portal penguins ran around them.

The shades I’d raised ran through me before I could decide what to do next. It was an unpleasant experience, like my soul had been shoved through a wall of gelatin. Instead of me, they focused on Dr. Finch.

I was worried now, because I thought that as soon as they attacked my bluff would be called. Instead, when one of them butted him, Dr. Finch went flying back. Another bit his sleeve and seemed to pass right through. Dr. Finch screamed, and something dark began dripping down his shirt cuff. It seemed that whatever he was made of was vulnerable to shades. I wasn’t sure what to make of that.

Dr. Finch got back on his feet again and ran towards town at a speed I wouldn’t have thought possible. The shades followed him, leaving me with one cultist to deal with.

Or not. They’d tied Zebulon’s hands in front of him, and he’d won the battle for the gun. He put a bullet in the cultist, and that was that.

“What happened?” I asked him as I untied him.

“It started out as another round of questioning,” he said, “once those first two guys were sent away they put us in handcuffs and started asking where the portal was, and how we’d got rid of the chupacabras. Stuff the FBI wasn’t supposed to know about. Then that fake doctor showed up and said that they could get their answers from the witch just as easily and that Earl needed to be eliminated. They were going to shoot me, but one of them had a James Bond moment and decided that shooting was too good for me, and they should throw me into the forest like the others. Which was where we were at when you showed up with your minions. Thanks for that, by the way.”

“And Theresa?”

“Dr. Finch said they needed to try a younger sacrifice. I guess they weren’t murdering people purely for the hell of it.”

“No. What happened to the Whateleys?”

“They were locked in one of the hotel rooms.” We went around the hotel, going slowly and making plenty of noise. Not that we could have avoided it with the portal penguins following us. The Whateleys had been rescued and were thrilled to see Theresa.

“Good job everyone!” Earl said. “Now we just have one more thing to clear up.” He looked at me as he said it.

“Where’s Dr. Finch?” I asked.

“He ran past us with a pack of demons behind him,” Agent Starr said. He did look like a man who’d seen a pack of demons. “None of them stopped when we fired at them. They didn’t even slow down.”

“We can’t assume that he’ll leave never to return, and even if he did, he’s killed too many people for me to ignore,” Earl said. He moved closer to me.

“’Sides, you can’t let all those things run around loose.”

“So where would he go?” Agent Starr asked.

“Isn’t it obvious?” I said. “The mall. If whatever’s coming out of the ground there could defeat the radish monsters it stands to reason it could take out the demon army. He might think it’s worth the chance of getting eaten himself.”

“Excellent,” Earl said. “Then you’ll ride with me, Agents Steiner and Agent Starr can follow in their car, and Steve can meet us there as a representative of Jesticorps.”

“What about me?” Zebulon asked.

“You are going to the hospital,” Earl said. “And no arguing. Who knows what that guy is made out of? You need to get checked out.”

“And me?” asked Cecilia.

“Stay at the hotel and make sure nothing else weird happens,” Earl said. “Fiona will be joining you as soon as she can.”

Cecilia wasn’t happy about it, but she agreed to stay. I called Steve to let him know where we were headed.

“We’ll meet you there,” was his response.

“Why?” I asked. “Are you going to do something wizardly?”

“No, we’re going to do something scientific. Dr. Cassidy’s magic rock detecting machine has been converted into an energy nullifier of some sort. She’s beyond angry about it, so tread carefully around her. Despite her frustration we both think it might come in handy under the circumstances.” Since I had no idea what Dr. Finch was or how to kill him, I had to agree. It gave me an idea though. The portal penguins were still flapping around the hotel grounds. I coaxed one over and picked it up. It took some convincing to get Earl to let me bring it into his car. The seat was cramped with the alien bird on my lap, but it would be worth it if I could get it to attack Dr. Finch. The federal agents agreed to go to Steve’s place and help him pack up Dr. Cassidy’s machine, and off we all went.

As we headed to the construction site, Earl revealed the real reason he wanted me along for the ride.

“You’ve got to get those things back,” he told me. “We’ve got enough weird shit roaming this town without adding to it.”

“Of course,” I said. And I meant it. Besides, those things wouldn’t go back to the hotel, they’d follow me. And they looked too much like the dark thing from the forest for me to be remotely okay with that.

Before we left town, I got a call on my phone from an unfamiliar number.

“Go ahead and answer it,” Earl said. “It might be Dr. Finch calling to surrender.”

“I’m not that lucky,” I said. It turned out to be Legion.

“Someone’s here,” he said, sounding amused. “They’re trying to get in.”

“Through the tunnel or the front door?” I asked.

“They’re trying the doors and windows,” he said. “They don’t smell human.”

“It must be Dr. Finch,” I said.

“Where?” Earl asked.

“Up by the cliff,” I told him. “At the house on the far side.”

“He said your name,” Legion said. “He doesn’t sound happy. Should I let him know you’re not here?”

“Talking to him might not be a good idea,” I said.

“Sure it is,” Earl said. “Whoever that is can stall him until we get there.” He slammed on the brakes and turned the car around.

“Someone already had the same idea,” Legion said, “I can hear a car pulling up.”

“I’ll bet it’s the FBI agents,” Earl said, “they must have taken the wrong driveway.” I could hear a car horn in the background and the voice of Dr. Finch.

“Maybe you should head to the basement,” I told Legion, “if this goes the way I think it will they’re going to start shooting any minute now.”

“Bullets can’t hurt me,” Legion said. “I hope you aren’t too attached to the men in the car. I think they’re outclassed.”

“How fast can we get there?” I asked Earl.

“We’re about a half hour away,” he said. “That road is hard to navigate in the dark.”

“Dammit. Is there any way you can tell the guys in the car to get out of there?”

“I could try,” Legion said. I heard creaking as he opened the front door.

“Hey, mortal scum!” he bellowed. “Get lost if you value your puny souls!” There was some more indistinct shouting.

“That wasn’t what I meant,” I said.

“It worked,” he reported. “They’re backing their car up. Dr. Finch is standing right in front of me. He appears to be upset. Would you like to say something to him?”

“Sure. Tell him to drop dead.”

“Okay. Jaspar wants you to drop dead. Now get off my porch, alien filth.”

Earl’s radio started making noises. He turned it on while I listened to Dr. Finch yelling through the phone.

“There’s a devil in your town!” Agent Starr shouted.

“It’s just one thing after another, isn’t it?” Earl said. He pressed a button. “I think you went to the wrong house,” he said, “did you get the scientist?”

“No. Did you hear me? We found Dr. Finch, who has tentacles again, and he was fighting a devil! We need a priest or something!”

“Don’t worry about the devil for now,” Earl said. “Did you see the demon army?”

“No, we didn’t!”

“They must have taken a different route,” I said.

“Or they spread out into town. We need them all in one place if we’re going to use some gadget on them. Just get to Mr. Trenton’s house like we talked about, and I’ll worry about the devil.”

“If you’re sure . . .”

“Sure I’m sure,” Earl said. “I’ve made house calls there before. I can handle it.”

“You have?” I said.

“I’ve never met the current owner,” he admitted, “but he’s called the Sheriff’s office about trespassers. I guess he wasn’t pulling my leg. Is he really a devil?”

“I can see how someone might come to that conclusion,” I said. Dr. Finch was still yelling.

“Did he say you’re getting a priest?” Legion asked. “I’d prefer Pastor MacReady if you’re going to try an exorcism.”