Being With the Brothers Next Door (3 page)

And that was it. Her virginity taken in less than a second by Tanner Ashbury, one of the two men she was in love with.

His big body stilled when he bottomed out inside of her, and Sasha held in the sounds of discomfort. Ever so slowly he pulled his head back and looked down at her. “You were…?” He didn’t finish his sentence, and she didn’t need to say that, yes, she had been a virgin.

He swore softly, and the world came crashing back. Humiliation slammed into her, because all he did was stand there, not moving, not speaking, just watching her with confusion in his face. Before she could push him away and the tears started to fall, he claimed her mouth and started moving. All other thought was lost on her at the feel of his dick stretching her unused muscles.

“I didn’t know.” He seemed to be talking to himself. His thrusts were slow and steady at first, but gradually picked up speed until Sasha was also lifting her hips and grinding herself on him. The root of his shaft rubbed her clit, bringing her closer to another orgasm quickly. “I would have done this a completely different way if I had known, Sasha.” His breathing was hard and frantic against her neck. “I just wanted you so damn bad, baby.” He never stopped pumping his hips, but she couldn’t respond because in the next second she came hard and long. He thrust into her three more times before burying himself completely inside of her and groaning out his orgasm in the crook of her neck. “Fuck, yes.
Oh
Christ
.”

For several moments neither of them did anything but try to catch their breath. The seriousness and reality of what they had just done slammed into her instantly. The high from her orgasm dissipated, and she wondered what he would say once his high also left. When he pulled out of her and helped her to stand, the air shifted. He tucked himself back in his pants, and she pushed her dress down, suddenly feeling extremely exposed. She spied her panties in tatters beside her feet and quickly picked them up and balled them in her fist. When she stood and looked up at him she could tell he was different.

Did he already regret what they had done? Licking her suddenly dry lips, she watched as he averted his eyes, and a wave of disappointment slammed into her.

“Tanner?” His name came softly from her, and she wondered if he had heard her, but then he stiffened and she knew he had.
 

“Shit, Sasha.” He still had yet to look at her. Running his hand through his hair and further messing the strands, she felt tears start to form in her eyes. Had he actually been far drunker than she initially thought that he now realized the gravity of what they had done?

You stupid fool. You knew damn well he was drunk when he came up to you. You have no one to blame for this but yourself.

“Listen.”

The tears flowed down her cheeks and she lifted her hand to wipe them away, but he saw them regardless.

“Dammit, Sasha.”
He pulled her into his arms, and she stared over his shoulder at the streetlamp. It was dull and looked used, exactly how she felt. “Please don’t cry.” Tanner sounded concerned, but his actions spoke differently. The smooth feel of his hand moving up and down her back did nothing to make her feel better, and almost felt like he was forcing himself to comfort her. Everything just felt stiff, and not in a good way. “I am so fucking sorry.” He leaned back, took her face in his hands, and looked in her eyes. “Shit, baby. I’m drunk and didn’t know what I was doing.”

She tensed, but he continued before she could make a retort.

“I should have stopped, but you smelled so good, and felt so good.” He inhaled deeply, and she closed her eyes, wishing that she could wake up from this nightmare. It was getting worse by the minute. “You are so much better than me, than this. I’m so fucking sorry, Sasha.” The only thing worse than losing her virginity to one of the guys she loved and him regretting it, was hearing him try to console her and tell her she was better than he was.

Too fucking late for all that.

Sasha pushed away from him and didn’t hide the hurt and anger she felt. She hoped he could see it,
feel
it. It churned inside of her, and she knew that it would be there for the rest of her life, just rotting and festering until it consumed her fully. Telling him she had been in love with him since she was twelve years old was on the tip of her tongue, but really, what good would it do? He had made himself perfectly clear. Instead, Sasha drew up her courage from deep within her body and wiped the last of her tears away.

“Don’t you fucking apologize to me,
Tanner.
” His eyes widened at her rare use of profanity. The spurt of vicious anger grew inside of her until it threatened to consume her whole. “Besides I was bound to lose it to someone at some time. You just happened to be here at the right time.” The lie stung and felt like acid leaving her mouth, but she could not show him how vulnerable she felt. He flinched, and for a moment she wanted to think he truly did care for her like she did him. The pain she felt was indescribable, and took up every single empty space inside of her. She should have been smart enough and stopped it before it had gone as far as it did. But it was too damn late for that now. Another emotion flickered across his face, and for a moment she thought it might have been hurt, but just as quickly as it had come it disappeared and a stoic expression took its place. The way he stood, and how the light from the streetlamp washed his face in a muted glow of yellow showed her his clenched jaw and the hard look in his eyes.

 
“If you say so, Sasha.”
His words were hard and clipped, and his anger was clear. Well she was fucking angry, too.

And if things couldn’t have gotten worse and even more uncomfortable, she heard her brother calling her name. Tanner stiffened and looked over her head, but she knew no one could see them.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell him.” Yeah, because that was a shit-storm waiting to happen, and there
was
no way she would be the cause of that. For a second it looked like Tanner was going to say something, but Rian rounded the corner and stopped when he saw them. For several seconds no one said anything, and Sasha just knew they could hear the erratic pounding of her heart.

“Hey. What’s going on?” Rian took another step closer. His eyes bounced from her to Tanner then back to her.

“Nothing.
We were just talking away from all the drunks. I was thanking him for helping throw this graduation party for me.” Sasha was surprised she had been able to spew that lie out so quickly, and even made it sound believable. She gave one last look at Tanner, who she was surprised to see staring at her, before making her way toward Rian. Her brother seemed content with her response and gave her a hug. He might have seen her as a pain in the ass all through their childhood and that first year of high school, but their relationship had matured, and now they were closer than ever.

“Well, come on. Everyone has been looking for you.” He gave a chin nod to Tanner and said, “You coming, man?”

Sasha looked over at the guy she had just lost her virginity to. That thought caused her cheeks to heat, and she was thankful for the shadows that hid her. She saw the indecision on his face. Would he tell Rian what they had just done? If he was suicidal he might, but that would humiliate her as well, and she hoped he cared about her enough to keep his mouth shut. She said as much silently as she stared at
him,
and after what seemed like forever he exhaled.

“Yeah.”
They all made their way inside, but it was like she wasn’t really in her body. All she kept thinking about was the feel of Tanner inside of her. Hell, she had the ache between her thighs and the wetness of her arousal and lost innocence to prove it hadn’t been a dream. She glanced over at him and saw Jonas and Tanner speaking to each other. Tanner’s mouth moved quickly, and a strange look crossed Jonas’s face. As if they sensed her watching them they snapped their heads toward her, and their identical hazel eyes held hers. Jonas shook his head and said something to Tanner while still holding her gaze. When Tanner responded his brother snapped his gaze to Tanner and scowled. Jonas looked angry as he slashed his hand between him and Tanner then stalked off. Tanner ran his hand over his jaw, looked at her one last time, and went after his brother.

Yeah, if the ground could open up and swallow her whole right now everything would be right in the world.

Chapter Two

Present Day

After four years of undergraduate studies, Sasha was finally done and could say she had her Bachelor’s degree. The feeling of accomplishment filled her, but it was the fact she had gotten a job back in her home town of Hayven Hill that made her grateful for favors from above. If her mother hadn’t told her about the opening Sasha would still be job hunting. Getting the position that Mrs. White had as the resident Social Worker should have made her extremely pleased, and she was, but the fact the spot opened up because the seventy-five year old woman—who had refused to retire—had suddenly passed away, dampened her excitement. She passed the sign that informed her she was entering Hayven Hill, and excitement washed through her, but nervousness was on the heels of her happiness as it usually was. It had been six months since she had been home. With her work load, studies, and finding a job before graduation, she had been too busy and stressed to visit her parents. A new development was being constructed, and she passed the site, seeing the tanned, muscular men hauling lumber, bent over blueprints, and standing beside the large sign that announced Marsh Construction was doing the work.

She focused on the road again. The coffee shop she had used to go to with Dani sat in the same spot and looked exactly the same. The salon, supermarket, and post office looked the same as well. She didn’t know what to expect, maybe upgrades in the past six months, or that they had moved, but everything was just the way it had been.

She pulled into her parents’ driveway and saw Rian’s truck. She pulled up beside it and grabbed her purse. The side of his truck read “Marsh Construction”, and a smile pulled at her lips. The fact Rian owned his own construction company, Hayven Hill’s renowned construction company, had pride for her older brother filling her. Before she got to the front door it was opened, and her mother came barreling out.

“I am so happy you’re here, sweetheart.” Sasha felt the air leave her as her mother squeezed her to the point of pain.

“Mom,” she wheezed out. “I can’t breathe.” Her mother released her, but kept her hands on her upper arms.

“I’m sorry, Sasha. I just feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

“Mom, it’s only been six months.” Rian’s deep voice came from the front door, and Sasha felt her smile widen. She bounded toward him, and he embraced her in his big muscular arms. “Dang, girl, you’ve put on some weight.” She smacked his arm lightly, even though she knew he was teasing. She had put on some weight, was even pushing a size sixteen, but who the hell was counting? Studying and staying up late had caused her to snack at night, and the majority of those snacks had been of the fattening kind.

“Shut up, you ass.”

He grinned down at her. “You know I’m just kidding. You look good. I didn’t want to say anything before, but you looked like a twig the past few times I saw you. You look healthy now.”

She rolled her eyes.

“No, I’m serious.”

“Well, thanks, I guess.” She looked up at him, surprised that he had gotten so tan and muscular. “Looks like you’ve put some weight on, too.” He flexed his arms in the way men do when trying to be
macho,
and she rolled her eyes again. “What’s going on with this?” She flicked her finger along the light beard he was sporting.

“You like that?” He ran his hand over the dark hair and grinned.

“You’re such a tool.”

“Whatever. The girls dig it.” He nudged her shoulder when she moved passed him, and Sasha couldn’t help but smile. Rian helped their mom get her bags out of the car, despite her telling them not to worry about it. The three hour drive had sucked every ounce of energy from her, and all she wanted to do was sit on the old brown couch in the living room and visit with her parents. Her dad came in from the backyard wearing his “Kiss the Cook” apron and Ray-Ban sunglasses.

“Princess.”
He took his glasses off, and she ran up to him. “Aren’t you a sight for sore
eyes.
” Sasha inhaled the scent of him and loved that he still smelled like Old Spice after all these years. She was so glad to be home and surrounded by her family.

After eating an overly large meal and visiting until she couldn’t keep her eyes open, she said good night to her parents.

“Walk me to the door?” Rian wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. They stopped at the front door, and Rian turned her so she faced him. “I know it’s only been six months since I saw you, but I really am glad you’re back. It’s felt like too damn long, especially since you rarely returned my phone calls.” He pulled his brows over his eyes, trying to seem angry, but she knew he really wasn’t.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I was so busy wrapping things up.”

He pulled her close for a hug. “Having you back at Hayven and close to the family makes me feel better.” Rian usually didn’t talk so emotionally. It was nice to hear. He pulled back and opened the door before she could really respond. Before he shut the door behind him he said, “Listen,
come
out with me tomorrow. We will hit up Shake’s, and I’ll buy you a burger and cherry limeade.”

“Okay, sounds good.” She smiled once more before shutting the door. It really did feel good to be
back
home.

****

Shake’s was packed when Sasha and Rian stepped inside the next night. Back in the day it used to be a family restaurant, but over the years they had slowly changed it until it was now a sports bar where most of the younger generation hung out. The music was annoyingly loud, and scantily clad girls ground their crotches against the men on the center of the dance floor. Right off the bat she could see many of the guys who filled the bar were part of the construction crew. They seemed to be an entirely different breed of men from the average denizens of Hayven Hill. Their bulging muscles, tanned flesh, and hardened expressions spoke of hard labor. She followed Rian as he wove through the people. Many of them stopped to talk with her brother or slap him on the back. He found an empty table in the corner, and they sat.

The waitress, a girl Sasha thought she had gone to high school with, sashayed over to their table and smirked at Rian. She cocked her hip out and puckered her lips, and Sasha couldn’t help but feel embarrassed for her. The way she looked at her brother, though, told Sasha enough to know they were
very
well acquainted.

Bleh
.

“Hey, Rian.”
The waitress, Michelle according to her nametag, dragged her tongue over her bottom lip. Her breasts were all but in Rian’s face, and by the look her brother gave Michelle, he liked it a little too much.

“I’m going to the bathroom.”

Rian nodded, but his gaze was otherwise too preoccupied to spare her a passing glance.

Once inside the bathroom she leaned on the counter and looked at herself in the mirror. She had cut her hair last year to a stylish bob, and found the short length far more accommodating to her hectic schedule. The dark strands were a hell of a lot more manageable now. Her blue eyes were dark, and the exact same shade as Rian’s and their father’s.
 
She adjusted her t-shirt and smoothed her hand over her jeans. Maybe she should have dressed up a little bit? What was the point, though? Like Rian gave a shit what she wore, and it wasn’t like she was trying to impress anyone. That thought was immediately followed by the image of Tanner and Jonas. It had been two years since she had seen them, and the last time had been awkward enough. Two years ago, they had come over for Thanksgiving for a quick hello, and when she had seen them she’d hid like a coward. The fact she knew Tanner had told his twin what they had done was just too humiliating. So really, she
had
seen them since leaving for college, but they hadn’t seen her. Rian had tried to ask what her problem was and why she was avoiding the twins on several occasions, but there was no way she would tell him why she felt the need to stay away. Even after all these years her brother was liable to break something—like Tanner Ashbury. Why was she avoiding Jonas, though? She supposed it was just the way it worked out since the brothers were close and always hung out together. In any event, she had no doubt Tanner had told Jonas what had happened between them, and every time she thought about them having
that
conversation humiliation filled her.

Four years of successful avoidance didn’t stop her from missing them something fierce though. But now she was back in
Hayven
Hill, and she couldn’t avoid them. She’d have to put her big girl panties on and face the music. The incident in question might have happened years ago, but it still felt so fresh in her mind.

She looked at herself one last time the mirror and headed back out. Sasha grabbed her cell and looked down at the screen. The air left her when she slammed right into a wall, or at least it felt like a wall given how hard and wide it was. She stumbled back and reached out to steady herself on instinct. The firm, muscular forearm she currently gripped sent a flash of electricity through her. Slowly dragging her eyes up the individual buttons of the white button-up, and over the wide shoulders, she stared into hazel eyes that were far too familiar for her comfort. There was shock in Jonas’s gaze as he stared down at her. The feel of his hand on her waist startled her, not because he had obviously gripped her to make sure she didn’t fall, but because that simple touch had butterflies going crazy in her belly.

“Sasha Marsh. Holy fucking shit.” His clear shock most likely matched hers, but then his expression morphed into happiness. Jonas grinned broadly and pulled her into his chest. He had gotten bigger since the last time she had seen him, but then again that had been years ago. He was a man now, and a very nice looking one at that. Time had certainly been good to him. Sasha found herself closing her eyes and inhaling the scent that reminded her of all the times they had run to the lake together, played videogames, and stayed up late watching scary movies. They were her happy memories, ones that had been buried deep when she withdrew from them because she hadn’t known how to react. He pulled her away but kept his hands still on her hips. When she looked up at him those lovely memories vanished as that vile little thought surfaced, the one of Jonas knowing what she did with Tanner. It wouldn’t have been so bad if the rejection from a man she loved hadn’t been so harsh. She stepped away and suddenly felt extremely awkward.

“How have you been? School’s done, right?”

Clearing her throat that suddenly felt like cotton was lodged in it, Sasha could only nod.
“Yeah.”
She licked her lips and looked over at Rian, but he was still otherwise occupied with Michelle.
“I, uh.”

God, this was a hell of a lot more uncomfortable than she figured, but then again what did she expect after not seeing him for so long?
Come on, Sasha, this is Jonas. You have been friends with him your whole life. Besides you’re adults now, and you have no one to blame but yourself for this wall between the two of you.

Straightening her shoulders she smiled up at him and said, “Yeah, finally finished after four years, but I can say I earned my BA.”

“That is fantastic, Sasha.” He took a step toward her, and her nerves had her wringing her hands together. “Rian told me you were moving back, but never said a date.” He ran his hand over his hair, a gesture that reminded her so much of Tanner. It was at this moment she wished she hadn’t detached from everyone and everything she had loved just because she was scared of things changing between them. That happened regardless, and it sucked.

“Yeah, I just got in yesterday.”

“He also told me you are taking over the Social Worker position over at county?”

What else had
Rian
told him?

“Yeah, sad circumstances and all, but I’m lucky they are giving me the position fresh out of college.”

He nodded and looked over his
shoulder
.“
I
stopped in for a beer and ran into Rian. He didn’t mention you were here together, but then again he has been eye-fucking Michelle since he walked in I’m sure.”

And just like that it felt like old times. As strange as it was, especially since she had been worry about the weirdness between them, Sasha felt herself relaxing. It was easy to just be herself with him, and put all her stupid fears aside, especially since it had been so long ago and she should have moved on.