Being Amber (13 page)

Jaci found herself at a loss as to what she would to register for. Before she was designated Amber, she wanted to be a teacher. But now, she wasn’t so sure she wanted to work around kids for the rest of her life, now that she would never have any of her own.

“No, not yet,” she said softly.

A waiter came up to their table. “What can I get for you today?” he asked as he looked down at the two of them. “Oh, Jaci?”

She smiled at him. “Yes?”

“You probably don’t remember me, I dropped Hannah off at your apartment a few days ago for the sit-in. I’m her friend, Asher.” He leaned over and kissed Jaci on the cheek and shook hands with Xander. It looked like they knew each other, but only in passing.

“It’s so nice to see you up and around.”

“Thank you,” she said, squinting up at him.

He was gorgeous with wavy sable hair that tousled in the breeze. His large brown eyed gaze traveled over her face and then her body, exploring her. Jaci was not confused trying to decipher this look. He was definitely checking her out.

She felt her cheeks redden. “It feels nice to be up and around.”

He smiled at her. “So, what can I get you guys?”

“Do you have beer today?” Xander asked.

“Not till the end of the week. We have a hard mix on special–owner’s secret recipe. It’s on the fruity side.”

Xander glanced over at Jaci. “You game?”

She nodded.

“We’ll take two.”

“Do you guys want anything to eat?”

Jaci shook her head. “No, not really.”

“Okay, be right back.” Asher turned and walked back inside the bistro to get their drinks.

“You’ve never told me about your family,” Jaci said to Xander.

“Well, not much to say. My mom lives in the Amber Zone burbs, close to the Sapphire border actually.”

“Are you close with her?”

“Very. She is only now starting to learn how not to hover. Being a mom has always been her favorite role in life. It was hard for her when I turned twenty-one and was assigned my own place. I think she was at a loss for a while, but she’s doing better. I’ve weaned her down to a few coms a week,” he said with a chuckle. “She’s already invited you over a couple of times by the way, so let me know when you’re ready to be overwhelmed with well meaning doting.”

“Next time she invites me, set up a day. I would love to meet her.”

Xander nodded his head “I will, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Asher came back with their drinks. “Is there anything else I can get you?”

“No, I think we’re good,” Xander said.

Asher looked at Jaci and touched her arm. “Hey, listen, would you like to go to the next mix with me?”

“Uh, maybe. What’s a mix?”

Asher flashed a brilliantly beautiful smile at her. “The first Friday of every month, every Circle City building has a party. Going to your own building’s mix will be great way for you to get to know everybody. I’d love to take you,” he said as he caressed a wayward strand of hair from Jaci’s face.

Jaci glanced at Xander. He smiled slightly, and raised his eyebrows when their eyes met, like he was encouraging her and happy that she was being asked for a date.

If he was fine with Asher asking her out, she would be too.

“I’d love to,” she said.

“Great, I’ll get your com from Hannah. I’ll be in touch with you soon. We’ll hammer out the details.”

* * * *

She’d been subdued and overly polite, stiff, all morning. The sadness from the gentle rejection he gave her earlier still shone in her eyes. He’d done that to her. He’d confused and hurt her, and he didn’t know what to do to fix it.

Now, he was forced to grin and bear it no matter how much he hated the idea of Jaci going anywhere with a man like Asher. Asher sported a reputation with the girls much like his own. A lot of benefriends with no emotional attachments. Jaci needed more than that from a man. She wasn’t acculturated to Amber enough to know him and exactly what a man like Asher wanted from her.

Xander knew he must let Jaci get out and meet people. But he hoped she would meet other women, not someone intent on showing her his superior skills of seduction and sexual play, then leaving her until the next time they ran into each other. He also knew if he safeguarded her from everybody, they’d never catch the person who was going after the fallows.

Still, Xander wanted to rip the man’s pretty face right off his skull. It took some balls for Asher to ask her for a date while she sat with him. After all, he didn’t know if there was anything between the two of them.

After Asher left them alone again, Xander tried to shake it off and settle his temper by concentrating on Jaci. He watched her slightly glossy pink lips move as she spoke, and her perfect white teeth peeking from between them when she smiled at him. Her body was relaxed, leaning back in the chair with her bare legs crossed. She was interesting and animated, talking with her hands.

They moved past the “tell me about yourself and your life” conversations and on to other topics. The fact that she was informed and easily discussed other subjects drew him in. He listened to her talk about the Gov’s recent attempt to retrieve fine art from the Onyx Zone.

She was smart, articulate. No dizzy, ditzy woman here. She was more than, “How do I look?” and “Don’t you love these shoes?” It was refreshing and attractive. Her self-confidence emerged and Xander realized this was probably what she was like in Sapphire, before life changed so drastically for her. He took a deep breath. Nice. Really nice.

After having a few drinks, Xander and Jaci walked the city. They took a long break in the late afternoon, finding a spot on shaded grass where a lot of people lay on blankets.

“As the summer gets hotter, this whole area will be filled with people sleeping at night. It’s too stifling hot in the buildings. Some are worse than others.”

They watched people pass doing their errands or meeting up after work. She lay with her head in his lap under the sun-dappled branches of a tree looking up into the cloudless sky beyond.

While she was lost in her daydreams, Xander looked at her stretched out before him. His desire for every perfect part of her raged within him. Her breasts rhythmically advanced and retreated with her slow breaths. The tempting band of skin where her shirt ended and her skirt hadn’t yet started invited him to touch. Her slender legs. He wanted to be between those legs.

Xander’s fantasy was interrupted by a sudden shift of the atmosphere around them. The difference was easily discernable. It seemed like even the air changed from relaxing to tense, and the birds quieted their song. Jaci sensed the change and sat up, turning to see what altered the peace she’d been enjoying. Together they watched a group of soldiers, some with guns drawn, marching a woman down Peachtree. The woman’s hands were cuffed behind her and a loop of rope encircled neck as one of the soldiers led her with the pole attached to the loop.

Her gaze followed them. “What’s going on?” She turned and gaped at Xander.

“National Guard,” he whispered and then signaled Jaci, shaking his head almost imperceptibly. She picked up on the slight gesture and stayed silent.

One of the huge, vicious dogs walking alongside the group of Guardsmen, eyed them as he passed. The predator in the animal was barely concealed and Xander instinctively tensed to protect Jaci if she needed it.

“I can’t believe people used to keep dogs in their homes,” she hissed.

He turned to look at her, and her face confirmed what he’d already felt. She was in a swell of fear, her eyes were dilated and her breaths were coming short and fast.

“That’s one thing I wouldn’t do even if we were allowed.”

After the group of soldiers passed, she looked to him for an explanation.

“The Gov keeps Amber on an extremely short leash.” He snorted. “Sometimes literally, as you’ve just seen. The National Guard is never a welcome sight here.”

“What do you mean?”

“National Guard has come to mean something different to the people of the Amber Zone. It’s ironic really. The troops that once inspired feelings of safety, now strike terror into the hearts of people in Amber.”

“Why?”

“Because the people they escort out of here don’t come back.” Xander scrubbed his fingers through his short hair and sighed. “Ambers are like the Gov’s pets. We live where they want, eat what they give us, and are expected to be well trained or serve the consequences. Sometimes the consequences are removal and redesignation to Onyx.” Xander nodded his head toward the soldiers that were almost out of sight. “They provide everything for us. But they also use that to control us. We have no money. No personal modes of transportation. No voting rights. No right to own firearms. They supply an abundance of alcohol and drugs to keep us as docile as possible. The Gov wants us to be pacified, silent and to remain forgotten until, eventually there are no Ambers left.

“The Amber Zone polices itself. And, for the most part, the Gov leaves us alone until someone’s behavior impacts their control in the other zones. They are still ultimately in charge. When they do step in, it is full force to send a clear message.”

“What kinds of things does the Guard get sent here for?”

“Who knows what they consider punishable. It’s not like the rules are written down anywhere. At least not where we can read them. But we all know on some level that their main concern is to keep us contained to our zone as much as possible, mute to everybody outside of Amber.”

Xander looked around. “Never talk about this stuff with anyone else.” He looked Jaci straight in the eye. “I want you to understand. You don’t know who you can trust here. There are people planted in the Amber Zone who report back to the Gov about Ambers that are problematic. People they deem subversive or problematic either get publically removed, like her.” He jerked his head toward the soldiers. “Or just disappear.”

Xander reached up to rub the pad of his thumb over the furrows that formed between Jaci’s eyes. They betrayed the thoughts that ran through her mind.

“Don’t worry, sweetie. Just keep in mind that they monitor us. They track us through our codes.” He absently held up his hand to show the code tattooed on his palm. “They know where we go, who we congregate with, where and what we eat, and what we buy with our credits. There are eyes and ears everywhere.” Xander cupped Jaci’s face gently. “It’s essential that you fly under the radar as much as possible. They will be watching you more closely since you have ties to Sapphire.” He dropped his hand and pulled her close to him until they were shoulder to shoulder. “Talking to people of other designations could be hazardous to your health. Keep that in mind when you go to visit your family. You might disappear if you say too much, or the wrong thing. Not only that, but they could disappear too. I think a lot of people who’ve been redesignated to Amber don’t contact their family in their prior zones because it’s just safer that way.”

“Why do you think they’re here now?”

He shrugged. “Who knows? But the coms will be flying with speculation soon.”

“The more I learn about this place, the more fucked up it seems. Why did Caroline feed me all that shit about how great it is here instead of letting me know the good and the bad?”

“You know the answer to that question already. Who do you trust? You could be a plant for all she knows.” Xander was still mumbling.

Jaci nodded her head, her mind was, no doubt, working on all of the information she’d received today. She leaned against Xander as he caressed soft strokes up and down her back. From time to time, he looked at her profile. Her expression had turned serious. She was a million miles away while they sat silent.

“Ready to go back?” she finally asked.

“Whenever you are.” He stood and offered a hand to pull her to her feet. “I wanted to show you one more place on the way back if you’re not too tired.”

“I’m fine.” She looked up at him and then down at their hands as he took hers in his. He was contented by her automatic acceptance of their connection. It was becoming second nature for her.

“I can’t believe I didn’t think of bringing you here this morning,” he said as they approached the front of a building tagged with a sign Holistic Wellness Center.

“The pills you took too many of when you came back from the sterilization Center.” He flashed her a stern look. “Are the only pharmaceutical medications you’ll see in Amber, but you can take care of practically everything else here.”