Behind the Mask (11 page)

Abbi’s thoughts of the captain and the duke became less prominent as dreams once again invaded her sleep. They came in short bursts of images and words that haunted her through her waking hours, leaving her frustrated and uneasy. While she could not break her promise to the man on the mountain, she became preoccupied with a new habit of riding Blaze up through the forest. The distance from home was significant, and they were always gone for hours. She was resigned to never go back through that ridge, but she gleaned an abstract comfort from hovering in the meadow, and it became her favorite place to go.

As Ramona’s constant harping had done little good in changing Abbi’s habits and appearance, she finally seemed content to back off, at least for the time being. But Ramona plainly believed that when Lance returned, he and Abbi would marry, and surely this would have a settling influence on her. Indifferent to Ramona’s plans, Abbi rode to the meadow every day, where she galloped wildly and laughed aloud as the wind whipped through her tangled hair. Each time she abruptly pulled Blaze to a halt he would rear up and whinny as she’d trained him to do, simply for the thrill. And then there were moments when he would stand perfectly still and she would bend forward in the saddle and wrap her arms around his neck, resting her head in his mane. Blaze seemed to understand Abbi’s moods and answer them, and she couldn’t deny the unity between them that had only deepened each day since his birth. He understood her best of all in the ritual they shared of galloping back and forth along the foliage-covered rock wall, where Blaze would willfully stop to paw at the ground. Abbi was disturbed by his stubbornness that steadily worsened each day, mostly because she understood it. She had perfect empathy for his determination, but the animal had no understanding of Abbi’s promise to a man she knew nothing about. It became increasingly difficult to keep that promise when his face invaded her sleep and haunted her thoughts. On occasion, when she felt invisible eyes observing her antics with Blaze in the meadow, she began to question her own sanity.

On one of those days, Abbi pondered the situation and nuzzled her face into Blaze’s mane. She let her arms hang freely while the horse remained still for countless minutes. She had to admit that she actually felt angry over how this man and her dreams of him had created such turmoil within her. For a moment, she felt so angry that she was intensely tempted to ignore his edict and face him with her own. She wanted to demand to know his reasons for upsetting her life and being so difficult. Her eyes roved toward where she knew the opening in the ridge was hidden, and her heart pounded to consider that it would only take five minutes and some minimal effort to be at his door. But she couldn’t bring herself to do it. His anger frightened her. Then too, she also had to consider the possibility that her fear of his anger was perhaps some feeble attempt to mask her fear of other things. What might actually be required of her if she were to answer this beckoning call that haunted her night and day?

When her thoughts became as disturbing as they were consuming, she sat up in the saddle and pressed Blaze toward the forest. She was startled by the way he ignored her command of the reins and came to an abrupt halt before entering the trees. He snorted and took a step back. She dug her heels in to move him forward, but he resisted and took another step back. Abbi knew Blaze was as well trained as a horse could possibly be. He knew what he was supposed to do, and he knew he was expected to heed her commands. She felt furious with him as her anger over the entire situation took hold. She dismounted and stood to face him, staring him down while she told him exactly what she thought of this ridiculous game he was playing. When she’d finished her tirade, Blaze took a step back and snorted as if he were a defiant child. Abbi sat down in the grass and cried until Blaze nudged her with his nose as if to apologize.

“Oh, go away,” she muttered, but he nudged her again. Realizing how long she’d been gone from home, Abbi got back into the saddle and barely had the reins situated before Blaze galloped into the forest and headed for home. “Stubborn beast,” she grumbled under her breath and allowed him to take free rein until they had emerged from the forest and the covered bridge was in sight.

“Is something wrong?” Georg asked as he helped her dismount in the stable.

“Not really, why?”

“You look . . . disturbed.”

Abbi wanted desperately to tell him what she knew and just how disturbed it made her. But she had been sworn to secrecy. She settled for saying, “Blaze has been acting a little funny—that’s all.”

“Funny how?” he asked, unfastening the girth.

“There’s a high meadow that he’s become obsessed with. He goes there practically on his own and doesn’t want to leave.”

“He’s probably just got some odd, wild notion—like his mistress does on occasion.” He laughed softly. “Nothing to worry about, I’m sure. There’s nothing else wrong?” She shook her head, feeling as if she were lying, and he added, “I hope that’s the way you’ll feel once you get inside.”

“Why?” she demanded, in no mood for any further complication in her life.

He smirked. “You have company.”

“Who?” she asked tersely.

“The Duke of Horstberg,” he replied with mock grandeur, but Abbi was too startled by thoughts of her visitor to give a response.

In the weeks since she had last seen Nikolaus du Woernig, Abbi had explored many thoughts and emotions related to him, bringing her to the conclusion that she was confused more than anything. Walking toward the house where she knew he was waiting, she felt her indignation toward him mingle with an intense desire to see him. She wasn’t certain whether she wanted to give him a piece of her mind, or experience what he had proven capable of doing to her senses when he kissed her.

Coming quietly into the drawing room, Abbi was able to get a glimpse of Nikolaus before he realized she was there. Her heart quickened at the sight of him. The clothes he wore were striking. His sleek hair caught the light as he turned toward her, and his dark eyes bored into her without shame.

“Ah, Abbi, my sweet.” He smiled devilishly, then swept across the room to take her into his arms. Without giving her a chance to say anything, he put his mouth over hers with a kiss that heightened her confusion. He pulled away looking pleased with himself, but his expression turned to dismay when he met the scorn in her eyes.

“What
is
the matter, Abbi?” he asked. “I thought you’d be glad to see me. I’ve been so busy, but I . . .”

“Your memory serves you poorly, Your Grace,” she said.

Nikolaus looked stunned, apparently recalling just now that she had been angry with him when they’d last parted. But he smiled and her heart quickened. “My being caught up in the passion incited by your presence, my dear, is hardly something for you to be angry over.” He pulled her closer and brushed his lips over the side of her face. “You can hardly blame me for
that
when you consider the effect you have on me.”

Abbi attempted to defend her anger but knew she didn’t sound very convincing as she murmured, “I’m simply not ready for . . . such things.”

“That’s not what your kisses told me,” he whispered. “You can’t blame a man for responding to something so pleasurable.”

Abbi couldn’t help wondering if perhaps she
had
inadvertently led him to believe such a thing. If so, then what had happened was as much her fault as his. “I didn’t mean to,” she said and he smiled again, leaving her almost heady.

“I’ll forgive you,” he said with a playful smirk before kissing her again. Abbi couldn’t help responding to something so pleasant, but she was careful not to get carried away. “But you must realize,” he said, pulling back only slightly, “now that you’ve given me a taste, I will not be content until I’ve had all of you. One day you will be mine.” His smile was gentle as he touched her chin with his fingertip, and Abbi’s scorn melted in the tingles that ran through her.

“I’ve missed you,” he said. “Come to the castle and . . .”

Abbi heard a deep sigh from behind and turned to see Lance standing in the doorway. She’d forgotten how exquisite he looked in that uniform, and there was something powerful about the way he wore the sword and pistol at his sides. He glared at Nikolaus, and Abbi wondered again about the state of their friendship.

“Come along, Your Grace,” Lance said tonelessly, but it was becoming more apparent that he found this competition distasteful. “We’re supposed to meet with the advisory committee in half an hour.”

“My sisters have been asking to see you,” Nikolaus said to Abbi. “Perhaps you might come tomorrow, and we could continue our tour as well and . . .”

“Come along, Nik,” Lance insisted. His gaze shifted to Abbi. “I’ll see you at supper and we’ll catch up. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ll see you then,” Abbi said. Nikolaus just shrugged as he was ushered out of the room. But she didn’t miss the way he winked and smiled at her, leaving her breathless. She was prevented from reveling in the moment when Ramona and Salina sailed into the drawing room with the tea cart.

“Did I hear Lance leave?” Ramona asked, seating herself to pour the tea. “I’m sure I heard him leave.”

“Yes.” Abbi remained on her feet, hoping for an excuse to get out of the tea-time ritual.

“I talked with Lance for a few minutes,” Ramona said more to her sister. “While you were napping we talked a few minutes.”

“When did he get back?” Salina chirped.

“It was this morning,” Ramona answered. “I suspect he stopped by to see Abbi between duties. The two of them will have more time to catch up tonight at supper. Yes, they can talk at supper.”

“Lance certainly seems to be doing much better these days,” Salina said. “Although they say nothing’s been quite the same since Gwen . . . well, you know.” Salina cleared her throat uncomfortably when Abbi noticed Ramona giving her a scolding glance. Whoever Gwen might be, it was obvious Ramona disapproved of talking about her.

Ramona turned toward Abbi, and her expression indicated she had something important on her mind. “Abbi, my dear, how do you like my stepson?” she asked.

“He seems to be a fine man,” Abbi replied.

“Do you find him attractive?” Ramona pursued.

“Anyone would be blind not to find him attractive, Aunt Ramona. But you need not pretend. I’m already aware that you hope for us to marry.” Salina looked nervous but relaxed when Abbi added, “Lance told me himself.”

“I see.” Ramona seemed pleased. “Yes, I see. And how do you feel about that?”

“I’ll tell you what I told him. I hardly know him. We shall just give the matter some time and see what happens.” Abbi hoped Ramona wouldn’t harp about this the way she had about Abbi’s habits that did not meet her approval.

Ramona smiled. “Just keep in mind that Lance is a good catch. His position as Captain of the Guard is prestigious, so you mustn’t take too much time or you might lose him to another. Yes, his position is quite prestigious.”

“I suppose there’s always that possibility,” Abbi said with indifference. “But then,” she added, mostly to convey her lack of commitment, “the duke would certainly be a good catch, now wouldn’t he?”

The aunts looked at each other in surprise and then at Abbi, apparently stunned into silence. Abbi wondered if it were somehow audacious to admit such a thing. Salina spoke at last. “My dear Abbi, you mustn’t set your sights on him. It’s well known that he’s betrothed to a princess from Kohenswald, and he is only biding his time until she comes of age.”

A sick knot formed in the core of Abbi’s stomach, but she forced her expression to remain steady as she absorbed this painful reminder of her ignorance and naiveté. “I see,” she said, attempting to save face with cool indifference. “I’m certain that when I’m ready to consider marriage the right match will present itself, whether it might be the captain or not. Now, if you’ll excuse me, there are some matters I need to attend to.”

Abbi left the house quickly as anger crept in to smother her hurt. How she hated Nikolaus du Woernig! She could have forgiven him for his bold advances, had his motives been honorable. Now it was apparent that his intentions had been everything but. How
dare
he! Was he so arrogant to suppose that he could get away with seducing a considerable heiress of good family, just because there were no male relatives around to protect her? Perhaps that’s what Lance had been trying to do in his efforts to keep Nikolaus at bay. His efforts took on a measure of nobility given what she’d just learned. To think that she’d been taken in by the Duke of Horstberg! Her naiveté in believing he wanted to marry her was downright embarrassing. He was surely very much like the devil, charming victims with his subtle lies. Panic engulfed Abbi as she realized how close she had come to falling into his snare. Wondering how many other women Nikolaus had toyed with, she felt tangibly nauseated to think of how he’d kissed her—and how eagerly she had allowed it. Oh, she was such a fool! She understood now why Papa had kept her secluded from the world. At this moment, however wrong it might be, she far preferred his loving protection over the pain and humiliation she was now feeling.

Wondering about the poor little princess who was doomed to spend the rest of her life with the philandering Duke of Horstberg, Abbi hurried toward the stables, pausing only a moment to look across the valley at Castle Horstberg sitting magnificently against the mountain. If not for Lena and Magda, Abbi would have hoped never to return there.

Consumed with anger and humiliation, Abbi mounted Blaze without a saddle. By his own will the stallion echoed across the covered bridge and flew through the narrow path between the trees leading up the mountainside. The climb was steep and hard, but Blaze knew the trail well and galloped at a dangerous pace. The air had a biting chill to it that had not been present earlier in the day, but once they reached the open meadow, the briskness freshened Abbi’s senses, making her shattered delusion almost bearable.

Abbi slowed Blaze to an easy canter while she took in her surroundings. No matter how many times she came here, the beauty and serenity never ceased to affect her. But the atmosphere felt different than it had only hours ago. The sky had clouded over, and in her absence the wind had been working hard to dress the scenery for a change of season. Now, on the brink of winter, the oak and beech trees along the plateau ridge stood like skeletons against a gray horizon as the wind blew their few remaining leaves away. That same wind brushed along the ground, pushing before it a vast carpet of crisp leaves. The scent of pine and fir trees rose distinctly through the air.