Behind Her Smile (15 page)

“How
is
Maddie these days?” Sheila asked, sharing her daughter’s concern about Madison’s obsession with diet and exercise.

“You know, Mom, I’m not exactly sure.” Michelle paused before continuing. “I guess right now, her boyfriend is my biggest concern.”

“Really? That new boy…Mike?”

“Miles.”

“Oh, yes. Miles. So tell me what’s got you so worried.” Sheila took a bite of her pie, and then studied her daughter’s face.

Gazing off into space as if searching for answers, Michelle finally replied, “I just don’t trust him.”

“But you trust Madison, right?” Sheila asked.

Michelle turned and looked her in the eye. “You know, Mom, I’m not really sure.” She hesitated a moment and then added, “I’ve just got a gut level feeling that something’s not right with Madison. And I think it has something to do with her relationship with Miles.”

“Have you talked to her about it?”

“Not really. There’s nothing specific I can say, yet. But she just doesn’t seem like herself. She’s edgy and more quiet than normal. Plus, she doesn’t seem to have much appetite. It was one thing when she was trying to diet. I could see her fighting her appetite then. Now, it’s like she has to fight to eat instead.”

A shadow of concern settled on Sheila’s spirit. Madison was her only granddaughter and the first grandchild. She held a special spot in Sheila’s heart. “Have you discussed this with Steve?” she asked.

“Numerous times. But he’s got a lot on his plate right now at work. We’ve both talked to her, and she knows she’s not allowed to be alone with Miles, other than to get a ride home. We’ve urged her to keep the relationship light, especially since Miles is not a Christian. As far as I know, she’s taken that to heart. But I’ve got this feeling something’s really troubling her. Mother’s intuition, I guess.”

“Well, don’t downplay that, Mimi. God often reveals things to mothers in ways we can’t always explain. I think you should have another heart-to-heart with her. Just approach it casually and see where it leads,” she suggested.

Michelle nodded. “You’re right. I do need to talk to her again.” She sank back in her chair, cupping her coffee in her hands. “So how are things with you and Rick?”

Sheila smiled, thinking once again about how thankful she was for the unexpected joy of a second chance at love and marriage. Although she was a grandmother to a teenager, she often felt like a young girl herself, as she reveled in being a newlywed. The past few years had gone by so quickly, but she still eagerly looked forward to Rick’s smile and kiss when he returned home each day.

“We’re doing well,” she said. “Rick spoils me with his attention. Not that I’m complaining,” she added with a grin.

“You two are like little lovebirds,” Michelle replied. “I’m jealous,” she added, teasingly.

Sheila felt herself blush. “I guess we are,” she admitted.

“You deserve it, Mom. Really. After all you went through with Dad, I’m so glad this has worked out for you.”

“Thanks, honey. You know how much I loved your father. But Rick and I have something that’s…well…it’s hard to explain. There was a part of your dad that I could never quite reach. Even after everything that happened,” she said, thinking about John’s final years and how much closer they’d grown. “It’s easy with Rick. We don’t have any walls.” She paused, grasping for the best way to convey what she had with her new husband. “It’s like we are too old for games, and we want to know each other completely and honestly.”

“That’s wonderful. I can see he feels the same way as you do. Whenever he’s around, he is so attentive and interested in all that you say and do. It really makes me happy,” Michelle said. “I’m sure he never thought he’d find this kind of love either.”

Her daughter’s words meant so much to Sheila. To know that someone else could see the unique treasure of her relationship with Rick made it all the more real and special.

“So how’s Grandma doing?” Michelle asked.

And the cloud of concern returned. “She’s okay, physically. But I’m noticing more and more memory issues with her,” Sheila confided. “The other day when I dropped by to pick her up, I went to get a glass of water in the kitchen and discovered that the oven was on. When I asked your grandmother about what she’d been cooking, she couldn’t remember. I saw a plate with some cookie crumbs on it, and asked if she’d been baking. Then she remembered that she’d made cookies the night before. So that oven was on all night.”

Michelle winced. “Not good.”

“Not at all,” Sheila agreed. Much as she wanted to encourage her mother to keep her independence, safety was another issue altogether.

“I could try to go by there on my way home from school to check on her if you’d like,” Michelle offered.

“You’ve got enough to deal with, Mimi. I just need to figure out the best way to provide caregiving. Your grandmother never wants to inconvenience anyone, and I know she’ll be worried about that if I’m over there all the time.”

“How about if I go by twice a week. That would break it up a little. And you could go two or three times. Then maybe we could arrange for someone else to help out in between our visits. I’ve been telling Grandma she should get a housekeeper. Maybe my gal could go once a week and clean and check on things.”

“Oh, that sounds like a great plan. But are you sure you want to commit to going over there twice a week? I don’t want this to become a burden for you, honey.” Sheila looked her daughter in the eye, and Michelle nodded.

“I want to do it, Mom. I wouldn’t offer otherwise. Grandma is one of my favorite people. It’ll be good to have the discipline of a regular schedule to keep me seeing her during the school year. Sign me up for Tuesdays and Fridays. And I’ll ask my cleaning lady about what day would be good for her.”

The cloud lifted, and Sheila felt a surge of relief. God was certainly good to her. She could never thank Him enough. But as she drove home, Michelle’s concerns about Madison resurfaced. “Rick and I need to pray for Maddie,” she said in a whisper.
Wow. What a gift to have a husband I can pray with,
she thought as she pulled into their driveway.

“So how serious are you and Miles getting?” Lucy asked on Saturday afternoon, as she and Madison paged through some magazines in her room.

Madison seemed to be trying to figure out what to say. “I guess we’re pretty serious, why?”

“Just wondering. I mean I hardly ever see you after school anymore. You two disappear pretty quickly right after class ends.” She missed hanging out with Madison after school, but didn’t want to be a drag about it.

“Yeah. He likes to get off campus before the parking lot gets crowded.”

“So what do you do when you leave school?” she asked.

Madison turned away from her, standing up and walking over to her closet. “Just stuff. We come over here and hang out usually. You know, watch TV. Stuff like that.”

“Oh. You’re lucky your parents don’t make a big deal about you two being alone together. My parents are so strict. They’d freak out if I had a boy at the house when they weren’t home.”

Madison nodded. “Yeah. Well, my mom gets home about an hour after we do, so it’s not like we are here that long by ourselves.” Without going on to explain that Miles usually left before her mother got home, she changed the subject by handing a magazine to Lucy. “So what do think of this outfit?” she asked, pointing to a model wearing a tight, shimmery dress.

“Looks good on
her
,” she replied. “It’s a little too fitted for my taste,” she added. “Now this is more like me.” She pointed to a picture on the opposing page, and soon they were lost in a fashion discussion.

That night, Lucy decided to write to her brother. She told Luke about Madison’s relationship with Miles getting pretty serious.
Why am I telling him all this?
she thought to herself. But something nudged her to tell him she was concerned. Even though Madison seemed happy, she also seemed different. Somehow more serious. Older or something. She tried to explain it in the letter, knowing that Luke really cared about Madison, too.

Five days later, Luke was walking back to his dorm room with his new friend, Autumn, when he decided to stop by the mailboxes in the student union. Their relationship had progressed faster than he intended, and although he liked her a lot, he wanted to be sure they didn’t get ahead of themselves or rush into a commitment because of their obvious chemistry. So far, the relationship had not progressed beyond holding hands and spending much of their free time together. But he knew she wanted to take it to the next level.

His goal was to focus on school as much as possible, and to avoid being alone with her for any significant periods of time. His attraction to her was compelling, and he could easily be drawn into a serious physical relationship if he didn’t keep his guard up.

As he pulled the mail out of his box, he found himself hoping to see something from Madison. He’d written her over a week ago and was still waiting for a reply. Instead he found an envelope from Lucy.
Interesting, he thought. She usually just emails me.

“What is it?” Autumn asked, leaning in to look at the envelope.

“Just a letter from my sister.”

She smiled and looked relieved. “Oh. That’s nice.”

They walked across the campus toward the dorms. The mid-western brilliant fall colors were beautiful as they crunched dried leaves under their feet. Much as Luke was coming to love this place, he suddenly felt homesick. Maybe it was the letter from Lucy. Or the absence of the fragrance of salt air. But in his loneliness, he pulled Autumn close, and she wrapped her arm tightly around his waist.

“Wanna go get burgers?” she asked.

“Yeah. That sounds good,” he replied. They strolled over to her car, and he stuffed his mail into his backpack, tossing it onto the back seat.

They spent an hour at the burger joint, eating and talking. But Luke’s spirits were still down. “We’d better get back,” he said. “I’ve got homework I need to get started with.”

“Are you sure? We could go somewhere else and just be alone. You know, to talk,” she suggested.

He shook his head. “Thanks, but I’d better get back to the dorm.”

“Okay,” she replied, sounding disappointed.

When she dropped him off at his dorm, she said, “Call me later, if you need a break, or just someone to talk to.”

“I will,” he promised, grabbing his backpack and heading to his room.

As he settled on his bed and pulled his books out of his backpack, he spotted Lucy’s letter. Pushing everything else aside, he sat back and opened it. As he read the familiar handwriting, his stomach began to tighten.

So Madison and her boyfriend are getting really serious, I guess. He drives her home from school everyday and they hang out at her house. Madison’s changing. She seems different, like she’s suddenly older or something. I can’t exactly explain it. But she doesn’t seem like herself. I still like hanging out with her whenever she has time for me. But you should see her, Luke. I mean she dresses differently and everything. I hope she doesn’t get into some kind of trouble with this guy. He’s nice, but I just don’t trust him. Maybe I’m crazy. Madison says she’s really happy, so I guess that’s what matters.

Just the mention of Madison triggered an onslaught of images in Luke’s mind. Her sweet smile, her wide-eyed innocence, and her lighthearted ways. What was happening to her? Not too long ago, Lucy had emailed him about Madison’s dieting. Now it was her boyfriend and her new ways of dressing. Lucy wasn’t perfect, by any stretch of the imagination. But she was pretty savvy about people. If she didn’t trust Miles, there was probably a good reason. And her concerns about Madison made him even more homesick.

Why was that? And what exactly did he feel for her? Closing his eyes, he tried to think back over their friendship. There’d been times he’d felt something special, a spark of some kind between them. But there was also such a familiarity and playfulness to their relationship, like brother and sister combined with best friend. He’d shelved any feelings of attraction when he’d moved from middle school to high school. Their lives were in such different realms at that point. And with their families so close, being pals seemed more appropriate.

But was that what he really wanted? And what about her? Lucy said she was pretty hooked on this Miles guy. But if he wasn’t good for her, like Lucy insinuated, should Luke reach out and say or do something?

And what about Autumn? Where did she fit into all of this?

He stood up and raked his fingers through his hair. Pacing the room, he finally grabbed his jacket and headed outside to walk and pray. For the next hour, he searched his heart and pleaded with God for answers. By the time he got back to his room, he had one of them. He needed to halt his relationship with Autumn. At least until he better understood the feelings toward Madison he was now beginning to acknowledge.

He’d talk to Autumn the next day. But for now, he wanted to reach out to Madison. Picking up his phone, he punched in her number.

Madison looked at caller ID on her cell phone. Luke? Images of Miles flashed through her mind. Images of him lying naked beside her on the floor. And panic surrounded her. The air felt thin and all she could hear was her heart pounding as nausea welled up inside. She pushed the silence button on the side of the phone, sank to the floor, and tried to breathe. Gradually, the sound of her heart diminished and her sea legs returned. Using the sleeve of her shirt, she wiped the sweat from her brow.

“Everything’s okay,” she told herself softly. “Everything is going to be fine.”

She looked down at her phone again. The screen reported one missed call from Luke. When she checked the voicemail, it was empty.

Rick listened as his wife explained her concerns about her mother and granddaughter.

“We need to pray, honey,” she said.

He knew she was right, and he wanted to be the kind of husband she needed. But it made him nervous when she asked him to pray with her. After all, he was still getting his bearings in his new faith. Praying over meals and things like that were fine. But Sheila’s father had been a pastor. He was the example she grew up with, and Rick had experienced that man’s prayers. They were powerful and flowed so easily from Phil. He wished Phil were still alive, to give Sheila the prayer support she needed, and that Rick felt so inept in providing.

“Rick?” Sheila’s voice asked, cutting into his thoughts.

“Yeah. Sure. You’re right, sweetheart. Why don’t you pray and I’ll pray right along with you?” he suggested.

She paused, studying him before agreeing. “Okay.” Reaching over and taking his hand, she bowed her head and began to pray. And while she interceded for her mother and granddaughter, Rick also prayed for his role as her spiritual partner, asking God to grow him into the kind of man her father had been.

Luke tried to call Madison again the next day. And the day after that. But he never got an answer. Leaving a message just didn’t feel right.

He thought about calling Lucy and asking her to watch out for Madison. But then he thought better of it. Who was he to tell his sister to do something like that? Besides, Lucy was a year younger than Madison. She was in no position to be monitoring or trying to counsel her older friend. And what kind of impression would it give his sister if he acted all concerned about Maddie? Sure they were friends, but he had no other claim to her than that.