Before You: Standalone Contemporary Romance (10 page)

Oh god, I wanted to say. I was so close.

So. Close.

I exploded around his hand, my hips shaking, my moan reverberating in my throat as we kissed through my orgasm. His hands left me only momentarily, but his mouth stayed put, his tongue against mine, his breath mixed with mine.

My head was so dizzy, so light, then his hands returned to my waist, and I felt him push between my thighs, entering me, pushing forward. My eyes flew open, meeting his, and I knew he’d been watching me the entire time.

He broke the kiss and shifted his grip on my hips, pumping in and out of me as our eyes locked, and I couldn’t look away. My insides coiled tightly as we collided, and I took him to my very depths.

“You feel so good,” he gasped as he thrust inside me, faster and faster. I was about to explode. My mouth was open, I couldn’t look away, couldn’t speak. It felt like I burst, and my breathing stopped as I came so violently that it stole the air from my lungs. He thrust deep and hard then stilled, and I felt him pulse inside me, spilling his seed from within my depths. “How the fuck are we supposed to get this out of our system?” he said, panting, still inside me, his eyes as confused looking as I felt.

I shook my head. I still hadn’t closed my mouth, my chest was heaving for breath, as waves seemed to continue pulsing through my body.

Someone banged on the door.

I forced myself to swallow so I could speak. “Just a minute,” I yelled out, before returning my gaze to André’s. “We should go back out there.”

Slowly, he pulled out, and we both quickly cleaned ourselves up as that post-amazing-sex awkwardness descended on us.

“You keep a good supply of those on you?” I asked, trying to break through the weirdness as he wrapped up the condom in paper towel and threw it and the foil packet in the trash.

He glanced at me and grinned as he tucked himself back in his jeans and straightened himself up. “I like to be prepared for moments such as these.”

My cheeks burned from the way he was looking at me. The man just fucked me in the tiny bathroom of an airplane, and I was blushing because he made a comment about it. “Well, it’s good to be prepared,” I returned awkwardly.

“You OK?” he asked with a raised brow, probably worried I was about to freak out like I did the night before.

“Peachy.” I smiled, and the door banged again. “We should go.”

He looked at me quizzically for a moment longer then agreed. “Stay close. Ignore the stares.”

My chest ached for a moment, realizing he’d probably done this before and with someone else. I kind of hated that. I didn’t want to think about that.

He slid the lock open on the door, still facing me since there was no space for him to turn around, and together, we stepped out. He went to the left aisle, and I went to the right.

I took his advice and didn’t make eye contact – not even with him. Although I could see him watching me as we walked at the same pace down the aisle to return to our seats.

Since I took the aisle on the opposite side, I had to climb over everyone in my row to get back to my seat. I apologized profusely, and when I finally made it back to my seat, I saw André crouching down and talking to the little boy who had been kicking my seat earlier.

I heard him say, “Deal?” as he held his hand out to the kid, and the kid repeated the same word then shook his hand. When he stood, I looked at him with a curious expression. “You’re welcome,” he said with a smile as he turned and walked back to his seat.

I don’t know what it was he said to that kid, but I didn’t get kicked for the rest of the flight, and I was free to sit and relive our bathroom encounter in my head. Over and over again...

––––––––

“H
ere we are.” I breathed out a contented sigh as we pulled into the drive of the Georgian style house I was now going to be sharing with Dave and, for a time, André. It was a giant brown-bricked cube that had an upstairs and a downstairs, double-hung windows and a green door smack in the center of its frontage with two white columns either side of it, holding up a decorative crown that really created a whole storybook effect. I loved it. It was the only place in the world that felt like home and made me feel completely safe.

“This is where you grew up?” André asked, climbing out of my navy blue Cruze as he looked up at the large house in the fading light of the evening.

“Dave grew up here.” I got out as well and opened the trunk to retrieve our luggage. “Once our parents were gone, I had to go live with our grandmother, and then I went away to college. It was a rental during that time. But I moved in after I graduated.”

Taking in the information I gave him, André lifted our luggage from the trunk then insisted on carrying it all to the front door, his special camera cases slung with a leather strap across his chest.

“Where should I put all this?” he asked as I pushed the front door open and put the keys in the bowl I kept on a table beside the door. It was filled with a bunch of other junk, and my keys kind of disappeared to the bottom.

I had to think for a moment as I wasn’t expecting anyone to be living with me for months, so I hadn’t prepared any of the spare rooms. They all had beds; I’d had all of the furniture returned from storage when I’d moved back in. But, there was only Dave’s old room and my old room spare. I was in the main bedroom and Dave would want his room back, so that just left my old room...

“Um, follow me,” I said, reaching down to grab my bag, but letting go when he took it from me.

“I’ve got it,” he said softly.

I led the way up the stairs, aware of the fact he was watching my ass as I went ahead of him.

“You can leave my bag there.” I indicated the first door on the landing and watched him as he placed my bag just inside the bedroom and took a quick look around, his eyes landing on the large four-poster bed that dominated the room. The main bedroom was the only one I’d had completely refurnished, as I didn’t feel right about using my parent’s bed. The only thing I’d kept was my mother’s dressing table as it held happy memories of sitting with her as she let me try on her jewelry and lipstick. The rest of it was all bought to create my own personal haven and looked particularly girly with soft purple gauze hanging around the bed and dreamy looking watercolors on the wall.

“It looks like a fairy tale,” he said when he stepped out again. His expression was fairly straight, so I wasn’t sure if he hated it or not.

“Did it make your skin crawl?” I asked, wrinkling my nose a little, expecting him to have the typical male reaction to girly things.

He looked at me and frowned. “Why would it make my skin crawl? It looks like a girl’s room. I like girls, therefore, I like their rooms.”

I took a moment to absorb what he said, finding him such a surprising and complicated person. I never knew what he was going to do or say, and I was used to being able to read people and had grown accustomed to their predictability, finding comfort in identifying personality types and knowing what to expect. André wasn’t predictable. I couldn’t work out whether I liked that or if it unsettled me.

“Your room is this way,” I said, pointing to the end of the hallway. “That door is the bathroom. You’ll share that with Dave. His room is that one.” I pointed to the door across from my old room. Then I placed my hand on the door handle that had lead to my childhood space. I hadn’t been in there for so long, and I hesitated for a moment before pushing the door open.

In my mind, it was still filled with posters pulled from magazines and old toys on shelves, a desk covered in homework and study notes – a twin bed that I’d nagged for when I turned thirteen, covered with a floral duvet. But that wasn’t how it was anymore, and when I opened it and all of the furniture was covered in dustsheets, the memory of a life torn from me, hit me in the chest and stung my eyes. I hadn’t thought about my life ‘before’ in so long. I’d been ignoring it. Pretending it didn’t matter. But it did. It all mattered. And it still hurt.

André stood quietly behind me as I looked around the room. “I can take the couch downstairs if this is a problem,” he offered, his voice soft.

I turned to face him and shook my head. “It’s fine. I just...I haven’t been in here for a while.”

I walked in further and removed the dustsheets from the dresser and the large cupboard. André placed his bag on the floor inside the door then moved to help me.

“This was your room?”

I opened the cupboard. Inside, there was still a mirror that I’d decorated with various stickers. On top of the mirror, I’d painted ‘WILLA’ in bold royal blue paint that glowed in the dark, and I’d surrounded it with stars that also glowed.

“Yeah,” I said, reaching up and running my fingers over the painted letters. I remembered how angry my dad was when he’d seen what I’d done. Then I remembered how mom had defended me in the most loving way possible – touching my dad’s hair, smiling as she explained that I needed to express myself. He could never resist her. She always made him smile...

The edges of my mind began to tremble with its precarious nature, and I had to close my eyes and force the memories away. When I opened my eyes again, I focused on the letters, and wondered if they still glowed, relieved that the moment had passed, and I was still breathing.

I closed the door again, resting my hand on the wood for a moment before I turned to him. “You don’t have to keep this in here.”

He was sitting on the end of the bed watching me. “You want me to stay now?”

I leaned against the cupboard and took my time absorbing him with my eyes. His messy golden brown hair, his piercing green eyes, his broad strong shoulders – he was dazzling to my eyes. A brightness that I felt would have to burn out eventually. Nothing lasted forever. Not even Suns.

Quirking the corner of my mouth, I gave him a shrug. “Well, you give good orgasm, so...”

He released a burst of laughter then ran his hand over the stubble on his face, producing a grating sound in the quite of the room. I imagined that roughness as he pressed it between my legs and grew very warm.

“It would make it easier to get each other out of our systems...” he speculated.

I took a step toward him. “And it’s not like you’ll be here all the time.”

He tilted his head in agreement. “I could be sent on assignment within a month – maybe less.”

“Thank god, because I’ll probably be bored with you within a week.”

He grinned and held his hand out to me. I walked toward him and he slid his arms around my waist, bringing me closer to him before moving his hands down to my thighs then back up, pushing at the fabric, lifting my dress over my head until I raised my arms, and he took it off, dropping it on the floor beside me.

“Are there any rules here?” he asked, pressing a kiss to my stomach, just above my navel. His fingers dug into the soft part of my hips, and I slid my hands through his golden brown hair, my breathing growing heavy.

“What difference does it make? You’re just going to break them.”

He ran the tip of his tongue around the edge of my navel. “That’s part of the fun.”

I took a hold of his hair and tipped his head up so he was looking at me. “I don’t want to sleep with you, André. I mean that. If you want morning sex, come and get it in the morning. I don’t want this to be more than sex when we want it.”

Taking a moment to respond, he eventually nodded. “I’ll think about it.”

“Don’t think. Just do. Please?”

He nodded. But I wasn’t sure if I believed him.

“Oh, and if you want to fuck someone else, you end it with me first. I don’t share dicks.”

A grin spread across his face. “Is that all?”

I ran my fingers through his hair then over his face, my fingernails scraping against his stubble. “For now,” I whispered, just before I pressed my lips to his, kissing him slowly as his hands moved over my body, circling my waist then pulling me down onto the bed before he flipped me onto my back and had his way with me in my old room, adding a new memory to the walls.

***

“S
tand right there.”

“Here?”

“Yes. There. The light’s perfect.”

André’s camera made a burst of mechanical clicking sounds as I stood by the open window in just my underwear as the last of the sun’s rays gave off a gentle glow.

I laughed and looked right at the lens. Another burst.

Click. Click. Click.

“What do you even want me to do?”

Pausing, he glanced at me and smiled. “Just stand there. Look out the window.”

I did as he asked, ran my hand through my hair then felt silly and giggled again, looking back at him over my shoulder.

“That’s what I want.” His voice was like a gentle caress that rippled over my body, causing me to blush and look down.

Another burst of clicking.

“Chica! I brought you some milk and some bread. Have you eaten?” The voice came from downstairs.

“Shit. That’s Milly.”

“Who is Milly?” André asked in a whisper.

“She’s my best friend.”

“And she has a key?”

“No. She uses the spare one from outside.”

André gave me a dubious look as he placed his camera on the dresser. “Don’t leave a key outside,” he instructed. At the same time, Milly yelled up the stairs.

“Willa? Are you home?”

“I’ll be right down,” I yelled out. I didn’t want her coming up and finding me with André. I’d never hear the end of it. “Oh god, I probably reek of sex.” André stood in front of me, gloriously naked as he held out my dress for me. I lifted my arms and he slid it over my head, inhaling my scent before lightly nibbling at my neck.

“You smell amazing to me.”

“I smell like you.”

“Well then, I smell pretty good.”

Rolling my eyes, I quickly left the room and detoured into mine to spray myself down with deodorant before rushing down the stairs. The moment I rounded the corner, I nearly ran straight into Milly.

“I was about to come up there looking for you,” she exclaimed before waving her hand in front of her elfin face and wrinkling her cute nose. “What did you do, empty a can of deodorant over your head?” She coughed dramatically and took a step back.