Before the Dawn (Truly Yours Digital Editions) (9 page)

“You won’t know what you can do until you try. Think of how the children at the school will admire you and seek to be like you when you prove that even without your sight you are a successful engineer. This will show them there is nothing they might not accomplish if they just try.” Collison’s chair creaked, as if leaning forward in his zeal to convince David. “You have advantages that many sightless persons do not have. You have the love and support of your family, especially your wife, and you have ample resources at your command. You have a career waiting for you if you have the courage to pick it up again.”

David gripped the arms of his chair so hard his hands shook. “I never asked to be a role model.”

“You may think I don’t understand what you’re going through, but I do. Before I became a teacher for the blind, I had just graduated from college. The ink wasn’t even dry on my diploma when I fell ill. When the doctors told me I would never see again, I thought it meant saying good-bye to my dreams of teaching.” He chuckled. “I never did become the college history professor I wanted to be, but now, looking back, I wouldn’t exchange my students at the academy for any cap and gown. God took my dreams and, through a refining fire, made them into something that would glorify Him.”

Hot bile rose in David’s throat. How much better would it have been if God had seen fit to merely take his life instead of taking his sight? Refining fire. He swallowed, hard. “I think we’re finished here for the day.” He stalked out of the room and up the stairs, and only when he reached his room and closed the door did he realize he hadn’t counted the steps across the foyer or up the staircase.

❧

Karen tipped her head back and blinked to stem the tears blurring her vision. She’d been silly to hang so much hope on the meeting between David and Rex. They had so much in common, and yet David hadn’t let Rex past the walls.

She took a firm grip on her emotions and entered the parlor. “Rex”—she sat opposite him—“I’m sorry the interview didn’t go well.”

He placed his cup on the table at his elbow. A patient smile played around his lips. “I thought it went very well.”

“He stormed out like his coattails were on fire. Didn’t you hear his door slam?” She smoothed her skirts, then crumpled them again by crunching her hands into the fabric.

“He’s dealing with a lot of emotions right now. Anger, bitterness, fear. Overwhelming fear.” Rex steepled his fingers under his chin.

“That breaks my heart. David has always been so confident, so sure of himself and his abilities. He had his life planned out, and up until now, his life has gone as he planned.”

“That probably makes the situation harder for him to swallow. He’s afraid he won’t be man enough to face his new circumstances.”

“He won’t even try, and I can’t seem to make him.”

Rex inclined his head. “My dear, I hope you’ll forgive the familiarity, but I fear you are as much the problem as the solution here.”

“What?”

“If I were in David’s shoes, I’d be scared stiff myself. According to your housekeeper, you are a strikingly beautiful woman. I’d venture to say you didn’t lack for suitors before David claimed you as his fiancée.”

Heat tingled in Karen’s cheeks, but she didn’t interrupt. She would need to speak to Mrs. Webber about chattering too much while serving guests their tea.

“I can imagine David feels in his heart that he is no longer worthy of such a bride. You told me he tried to break the engagement and that only under pretext of a lawsuit did he go through with the ceremony. I suspect it was less the lawsuit than the fact that he couldn’t bear the thought of your walking out of his life that made him marry you. I would suspect he is terrified you will wake up one day and realize you’ve made a mistake, that you regret marrying him.”

“I would never.” She spoke through stiff lips and clenched teeth, her hands fisted in her lap. “I love David, blind or not, though he’s testing my patience to the limit.”

Rex laughed, putting his hands up in surrender. “I believe you. I’m just trying to help you understand things from David’s perspective. I think, in time, he’ll come to trust that your love for him hasn’t changed. It’s the time before that will be difficult. You’re going to need all your patience and wisdom to withstand the coming storm. I speak from experience, both as a man who was blinded as an adult and as a teacher who has encountered many a troubled student. Things are likely to get worse before they get better.”

Karen rubbed her temples. “I can’t imagine their getting worse. I barely know myself anymore. My feelings are all jumbled up. On the one hand I want to cry and comfort him and help him heal, and on the other I want to throw something and stomp my foot and scream at him for ruining what is supposed to be one of the best times of our lives. We’ve had no honeymoon, and the newlywed phase of our marriage has been less than cordial.” Her voice cracked. A tear trickled down her cheek, and she scrubbed it away, mortified to have broken down in front of a guest, a man she barely knew.

Rex reached out a searching hand and awkwardly patted her arm. “I’m sorry. I will do all I can to help both of you, but you’ll have to be patient. Nothing will change overnight. Much like he’s done with me, David hasn’t sent you away, so he must want you here. Cling to that hope and try not to brood. You’ll feel better if you stay busy.”

“What can I do?”

“There are several practical things we prescribe for all our students, and you can get started on those now—things like labeling his clothing and organizing his possessions. When I get back to the school, I’ll talk things over with our headmaster, Mr. Standish, and together we’ll come up with a plan.”

He rose and his ever-ready smile encouraged her. “Don’t worry. I’ve handled tough cases before. David didn’t expressly forbid me to return tomorrow, so I’ll be here in the morning. We’ll continue his first lessons here at the house, but eventually, I’d like him to come to the school. The students would benefit from meeting him when he’s gotten over the worst of things, and there are some resources there that would be helpful.”

EIGHT

Karen snipped her thread and ran her thumb over the bumps. She rechecked the notes Rex had given her, making sure the small French knots were in the right positions to represent the colors. Something else to cross off her list.

Along with reorganizing his wardrobe and toiletries, she and Mrs. Webber had removed nearly half the furnishings from the parlor. Though current fashion leaned toward dozens of occasional tables, tightly packed chairs and settees, and bric-a-brac on every surface, Karen had to admit she liked the sparse look to the room now. David had said nothing of the changes, but he moved with more confidence now that he didn’t have to circumnavigate so many obstacles.

A Braille book sat on the desk across the parlor. David had yet to pick it up on his own, though he had allowed Rex to return every day this week for lessons. Karen rejoiced in this small success, but Rex’s prediction that changes would come slowly was proving all too depressingly true. At the moment the pair was in the dining room, where they had spent the majority of the last two days.

Mrs. Webber appeared in the doorway. “Ma’am, there’s a fellow here to see you, says he’s the butler.” A scowl marred the housekeeper’s normally sunny face. She stepped back and revealed Buckford standing in the foyer. “I didn’t know you’d hired a butler.”

“Buckford.” Karen rose, letting the shirt drop onto her sewing basket. “What are you doing here?” The sight of his familiar face, so comforting and bracing, caused tears to prick Karen’s eyes. The older man had a box under one arm and a valise under the other. “Did you walk from the station?” Red suffused his nose and cheeks, and a wintry air perfumed his coat. “Did Mr. and Mrs. Mackenzie come with you?”

“Yes ma’am, I did walk, and no ma’am, the family is not with me. Mrs. Mackenzie thought I might be of some help to you. She sends her regards and this letter.” He set his bag down and fished in his coat pocket.

“I can’t wait to read it. You don’t mind if I take a peek now, do you?” Karen tore the envelope open with eager fingers. She scanned the page, letting the comforting words seep into the lonely places in her heart.

Dear Karen,

I’ve had to resist boarding the train to Denver every day since you left, so great is my desire to come to you and to ascertain how you are coping. Since I know this wouldn’t be prudent, I’ve done the next best thing and sent Buckford. He and David have always shared a close bond, and perhaps Buckford will be a comfort to you and a help.

I hope you’ve taken me at my word to acquire a new wardrobe for the winter. Bill everything to the Mackenzie accounts and spare no expense. There was no time to assemble a trousseau for you, so consider this a wedding gift.

I know you weren’t keen on the idea of the lawsuit, and in retrospect perhaps it wasn’t the best idea, but the truth is, I was at the end of my rope. I love my son, but he has inherited all my stubbornness and a fair dose of his father’s as well. He had bested all my efforts, and I was not of a mind to let him continue in his current path of action. Though the end result, the wedding, was what I was after, having talked things over with Reverend Van Dyke, he has reminded me that the ends don’t justify the means. If I pushed you beyond what you were comfortable with, I apologize. I can be quite headstrong, as you know. David gets that from me.

All I can advise with David is that you keep your generously loving heart open to him. With you working on the outside and God’s Spirit working on the inside, his heart will heal. I knew such joy when you two first began courting because you loved David so much. That love and God’s strength will bring you through.

Know that I am lifting you both up daily, even hourly, in prayer, and know that you can call upon us for anything you need.

Love,

Matilda

Warmth at her mother-in-law’s thoughtfulness bathed Karen, and she looked up through watery eyes at Buckford. “I don’t know how they’ll get along without you in Martin City, but I can’t tell you how glad I am that you’re here.” There were so many things that David wouldn’t allow Karen to help him with but that Buckford could do without undue embarrassment to his employer.

“Mr. Sam sent this box of papers and ore samples and a letter for Mr. David.” He picked up his satchel.

She nibbled her lower lip. “Mrs. Webber, show Buckford to the room at the end of the hall.”

“Yes, ma’am.” The housekeeper’s narrowed eyes continued to travel up and down Buckford’s frame, sizing him up.

Buckford rejoined Karen in the parlor a few moments later. “How may I best assist you, ma’am?”

“David is in the dining room with his tutor, Rex Collison. The box you brought can go in the upstairs office. I don’t think David should be bothered with anything from the mine right now. He’s concentrating on his new studies.”

“Very good, ma’am. Then perhaps it would be politic to go smooth Mrs. Webber’s ruffled feathers. I’ll reassure her that I have no intention of usurping her place here.”

“Thank you, Buckford. You’re very astute.”

Karen packed her sewing basket, then took a moment to read again her mother-in-law’s letter. Love David generously. If only he would let her. She took the precious pages upstairs, along with an armful of David’s clothes.

When she came downstairs a short time later, David and Rex stood in the foyer.

Buckford appeared from the back of the house. “Good afternoon, sir.”

“Buckford?” David’s voice went high. His eyebrows arched, then tumbled. “What are you doing here?” He stuck his hand out, and Buckford clasped it.

“Your mother thought I might be of use to you.”

“I’m glad you’re here.” The warmth in his tone reminded Karen of how much regard David had for Buckford. She quashed a bit of jealousy that her husband was more comfortable with his hired man than with his wife.

“Gentlemen”—she walked down the last few stairs—“I hope your lessons went well today.” She slipped her hand into the crook of David’s elbow.

A smile crossed Rex’s face, but David stiffened as if she’d jabbed him in the ribs. When he didn’t say anything, Rex offered, “Very well, thank you.”

“Can you stay to dinner, Rex? We’d love to have you. Mrs. Webber’s making her specialty, beef Wellington. It should be ready soon.”

“I wish I could, but I’m expected back at the school. David, I’ll be back tomorrow morning. I’ll also expect a report of how tonight goes.”

Her hand must’ve tightened, because David shifted. “Rex expects me to dine at the table tonight. I hope that meets with your approval.”

“Really? That’s wonderful.” She shared a smile with Buckford. “I shall enjoy your company.” She prayed that perhaps he might enjoy hers as well.

❧

Mrs. Webber announced dinner just as David closed the door on Rex’s departure.

Karen tucked her hand into his arm once more, sending a jolt through him and making his heart hammer. As loath as he was to admit it, the idea of dinner with Karen brought a curious lightness to his chest, a faint echo of the way he’d felt when he first began courting her.

She waited beside him, her light perfume drifting around him. Her skirts rustled in a purely feminine sound. How he wished he could see her face, her hair in the candlelight, her graceful walk.