Before the Dawn (Truly Yours Digital Editions) (11 page)

He was still for a moment. Finally, he placed his hand on her shoulder, sending warm, golden arrows through her, and, only fumbling a little, settled the garment about her.

She tugged on her gloves and threaded her arm through his. “It’s a beautiful night, and the stars are out.” She waited for him to close the front door and escort her down the steps.

He kept one hand on the rail and hesitated with each step, but he got her to the curb without mishap.

She smiled. Much better than when they’d first arrived in Denver when he’d stood to the side and waited on her to guide him everywhere.

He handed her up into the carriage and settled in beside her. With a lurch, they were off.

“It’s been so long since we had an outing. It feels nice to dress up and go somewhere together.”

“It must be a bit boring for you, staying in every night.” He ran his fingertips along the windowsill and down the side of the carriage.

“I miss my friends in Martin City, though your mother is so good about writing to me. I’m sure once word gets out that we’ve gone to one event, there will be invitations to parties and gatherings. We’ve already received one for a Christmas dinner and dance at the Windsor in a few weeks.” The invitation sat on the mantel. She hadn’t told him about it until now, hoping for some indication that he might be adjusting to his new circumstances before asking him if they could go.

“A trip to the blind school is one thing, a party at the Windsor something else altogether. I’m not going to mingle with Denver society to be stared at and gossiped about.”

“Even if they did, wouldn’t it be just a nine days’ wonder? When they saw how you haven’t really changed, that you’re still the same handsome, intelligent man you always were, wouldn’t they find something else to talk about?”

A chuckle escaped him, and for a moment she thought he might relent. “Flattery won’t change my mind, Karen. I’m not opening myself up to their speculation. No parties.”

She blew out a breath and tried not to be disappointed. “Then I’ll have to make the most of tonight, then. I’m glad the dressmaker had my things finished so I could wear a new gown. A new dress always makes an evening special.”

“I suspect my bank account will feel the weight of today’s plunder.”

The coach lamp hanging just outside the door outlined his profile in soft, gold light. A smile played around his lips, as if he didn’t particularly mind the expense.

“Actually, my trousseau is a wedding gift from your parents. Wasn’t that nice of them?” She took his hand and placed it on her sleeve. “Feel. It’s indigo silk with beaded trim, and the cloak is black velvet.” She picked up the edge of her cloak and brushed it across the backs of his fingers.

A curious softness came over his expression, and his eyes narrowed ever so slightly, as if concentrating. “I told the dressmaker that each dress needed to be of a different fabric. Moiré taffeta, linen, wool, brocade satin. . .”

“Why such variety?”

She swallowed, hoping he would understand. “If each dress has a different feel, then you’ll know what I’m wearing without having to ask. I wanted each outfit to have a unique texture for you.” A laugh at herself bubbled up. “I know men don’t think about such things as what their wives wear, but it was something small I could do for you.” She tucked her hand inside his.

As if he couldn’t help it, his fingers closed around hers, nestling her hand in his like a bird.

Tears pricked her eyes as she studied his face, waiting, praying for some response.

He pressed his lips together and his throat lurched. “That was very thoughtful of you.” The low, husky quality of his voice sent shivers up her spine. “Thank you.”

The coach swung into the semicircular drive in front of the school. Karen couldn’t help but hope that perhaps they’d turned a corner in their journey together.

TEN

Different fabric for each dress? David marveled at her ingenuity, and her generosity humbled and shamed him. Would he, in her place, have been as thoughtful?

Her hand in his felt right, and he hadn’t missed her subtle demands on him to behave as a gentleman regarding opening doors and helping with wraps. And he’d surprised himself by accomplishing those tasks without mishap.

He touched his cheek where he could still feel the brush of her lips and the whisper of her breath against his skin. The delicate scent of her perfume wrapped around him.

When the coach lurched to a halt, he almost bolted out the door. Remembering his manners, he stopped and held out his hand to help her.

When she stood beside him on the sidewalk, she tucked her hand into his elbow and gave him a squeeze. “I’m so glad Rex talked you into coming tonight.”

Guilt pricked him. Karen was young and beautiful, full of life. She deserved to go to parties and plays, the opera or the symphony. He blew out a breath. Would her departure take place in stages? Would she start going to those places without him? Would he try to stop her?

“There are six stairs up to a stoop.” Karen waited for him to take the first step. “The building is brick, three stories, and every window is lit. Very welcoming.”

Piano music provided background to what sounded like a hundred different conversations. “How many people are here?” Apprehension feathered across his chest. He shrugged out of his coat when someone asked for it, then turned to help Karen with her wrap.

“Rex, good evening.” Her voice held genuine warmth.

Rex introduced his fiancée. Aimee had a pleasant contralto voice that took on a special quality when she spoke to Rex. David recognized the proud and proprietary tone of Rex’s voice.

Karen took David’s arm. “We’re in the foyer, and there are paper chains everywhere for decorations. The party is being held in a room to our left. It looks like it might be the school dining room. Chairs have been arranged in rows, and there must be about sixty adults here.”

With subtle pressure, Karen directed him through the room. “We’re following Rex and Aimee to where the headmaster and his wife are greeting guests.”

Rex introduced everyone and directed them to the seats he’d reserved.

Mr. Standish had a firm handshake. “Good to meet you, David. Rex is treating you well, I hope?”

David forced himself to smile. “Better than I deserve, most likely. During this afternoon’s lesson, I was prepared to hurl a book across the room, but he talked me out of it.”

Standish steered him to a chair, talking all the while. “Ha, I can imagine. Do you know how many books I had to dodge when teaching Rex?”

David took the chair and eased himself into it. With half an ear he listened to Karen and Aimee chattering about dresses and the decorations. He tried to get a sense of the room, of the space, by listening. The ceiling must be high overhead, and he had a sense of space before him. Karen sat on one side, with Mr. Standish on the other.

“You’re in the front row, David.” Mr. Standish leaned in. “This room doubles as both dining room and assembly hall. With only two dozen students at the moment, there’s plenty of room to grow.”

With the way Standish could read people, he must be a good headmaster. David settled back and categorized the sounds and smells around him. Furniture polish, books, boiled potatoes, chalk, and soap. Laughter, conversation, the squeak of a chair as someone shifted his weight, a nervous giggle from a young person.

Rex’s voice came from in front and above him, on the stage. “Good evening and welcome. Thank you all for coming to our evening of recitation.”

The crowd stilled.

“Our first student tonight is Charles Barrow who will be reciting Psalm 139.”

Polite applause rippled through the crowd, and Karen tucked her hand into his.

She’d done that several times this evening, and he had to admit he liked it, even while he reproached himself for those feelings. Each crack he allowed in his armor would only mean more pain when she left him.

“O Lord, thou hast searched me, and known me.”

The student must be about ten or so, his voice still pitched high. Had he been blind since birth? Would that be better or worse?

“I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.”

Fearfully and wonderfully made? Maybe once upon a time, but now, ruined as he was, David couldn’t imagine those words pertaining to himself.

“Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.”

David’s neck muscles tightened and his throat constricted. How long had it been since he felt God’s presence?

“If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me. Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.”

The night shining as day? Dark and light might be the same to God, but everything was darkness to David now, as if he were imprisoned in the deepest mine shaft. God had stolen everything David treasured, then left him alone in the dark.

Karen’s hand moved in his. He loosened his grip, only now aware of how hard he’d been squeezing her fingers. She rubbed small circles on the back of his hand.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

David heard little of the rest of the recitations. His thoughts behaved like ball bearings dropped on a hard floor. He chased first one, then another, never able to line them up squarely.

What had gone wrong at the mine? What should he have done differently? Why had Karen married him when he was so obviously flawed? Would he ever master Braille, and what difference would it make if he did? Why was God so far away? Was his blindness a punishment from God for being so careless at the mine?

Not until Karen stirred beside him did he realize the program had ended. They filed out, her hand under his arm. He forced his face into a pleasant expression and let her steer him toward the side of the immense room.

She stood on tiptoe and whispered into his ear, “There’s a donation table by the door.” A tinge of doubt flavored her tone.

He pressed his lips together. Before leaving the town house he’d tucked his wallet into his inner coat pocket. Though it seemed strange, for now he couldn’t tell a five-dollar bill from a fifty. He withdrew the leather wallet and handed it to her. “There are blank checks in there. Write one out for a hundred dollars.”

“Thank you, David.”

He could hear the smile in her voice and warmth spread through him. “They deserve it. Rex has been very patient with me.”

The only awkward moment before their departure came when he had to sign the check. “They have a fountain pen. You’ll do fine.” She spread the slip for him and positioned his hand. “You’ve signed your name a thousand times.”

The pen scratched on the paper.

She picked the check up, and it rustled as she waved it to dry the ink. “Perfect.”

He declined the finger sandwiches and asked only for a half cup of punch to minimize what he could spill.

Karen stayed by his side, but he didn’t sense she was hovering or afraid to leave him alone. It seemed she took every opportunity to touch him, smoothing his lapel, taking his arm, letting her fingers brush his.

Almost before he was ready, they were back in the carriage headed home.

Karen yawned and laid her head on his shoulder. “Thank you for taking me out tonight. I had a wonderful time. You seemed to enjoy yourself. Did you have a good time?”

“I did.”

She laughed. “Don’t sound so surprised. I can’t believe how much scripture those children had memorized. Did you have a favorite?”

“The first one, I suppose.”

“That was my favorite, too. Can you imagine? God knew everything about us before we were even born. There’s nowhere we can hide from Him and nowhere that His love can’t reach us.” She sighed and rubbed her cheek against his topcoat. “I find that very comforting, don’t you?”

What he found comforting was having her so close to him. In the close confines of the carriage, with the success of the evening behind them and with her head on his shoulder, he almost felt as if he were a whole man. The longings her touch had fired repeatedly throughout the evening overwhelmed him once more. He turned to her, took her face between his palms, and ran his thumb across her lips. Gardenias perfumed her hair, and the smooth, satin lining of her hood tickled the backs of his hands, reminding him of her thoughtful choice of wardrobe.

Her pulse thrummed along her neck, and her breath caught in a soft pant that made his heart thunder. Before he could stop himself, he lowered his lips to hers.