Before Him Comes Me (6 page)

“Zara, while you are in this house or any house that I sleep
in, it is your home. Let me say that differently. You are free to do whatever
you would do if you were in your own home.

“First, I am not your Dom. You are not required to ask me
for permission to get a beverage or anything else. If you are hungry, eat. If you’re
tired, go to your room and rest. If you’re bored with the conversation, change
it.

“Second, if or when we do finish the Circle Ceremony, you
will continue to have these same freedoms. I have never wanted a slave as a
mate. I am a Dom and the Master/slave dynamic does not appeal to who I am.”

Garrett continues to stare into Zara’s eyes, as the tears
begin to pool. She fights to keep them at bay but once the first tear escapes,
several more follow. He reaches to wipe the tears off her cheeks but pauses
just shy of making contact.

Standing, Garrett walks quickly to the pantry and pulls out
a box of tissues. Returning to the table, he hands Zara the box and sits in the
chair next to her. He waits. She rips open the cardboard and takes out a couple
of tissues.

“Are you disappointed that I don’t want a slave?”

“NO!” Zara answers firmly, but the lack of confidence in Garrett’s
voice when he asks the question throws Zara off balance. She hopes he didn’t
need her to give more of an answer.

Garrett reaches for the black box that had been sitting on
the table. He doesn’t say anything for a moment. Placing the box in front of
Zara, he stands and returns to the knife and cutting board.

“It’s important to me that you consider this your home and that
you move around freely and without concern. I would like that very much.” When
he finishes speaking, he resumes his chopping.

Zara looks at the picture on the top of the box. It’s an
iPhone. She’s never had one but smiles to herself. She picks up the box and
opens it.

Zara looks up at Garrett and smiles when her eyes meet his
staring back at her, “Thank you.”

Placing the phone back into the box and setting it on the
table, Zara rises from her seat and silently walks to the refrigerator. Opening
one of the doors, she is happy to find several cans of her favorite Arnold
Palmer with pink lemonade.

Looking around the refrigerator door, Zara finds Garrett
pulling something out of the oven.

“Would you like something to drink?” she asks shyly.

“Yes, please. I’ll try one of those Arnolds of yours.” Pausing
to look at her, Garrett smiles.

“Your house… Little One. And there are frosted mugs in the
freezer,” he states matter-of-factly, returning to his task at hand.

With a bit of hesitation, Zara gathers two cans and two
mugs. Returning to her seat, she fills the mugs. Setting the cans aside, she
takes a big drink of her favorite beverage.

“Mmmmmm,” Zara enjoys the drink. When she looks up, Garrett
is watching her again with the same look he had last night when she came out of
the bathroom in her own clothes. A blush suffuses her face. There is no missing
the soft chuckle from Garrett.

Zara unwraps the utensils in a cloth napkin and places the
napkin in her lap waiting. Garrett has prepared homemade pizza that looks as
good as it smells.

Garrett picks up the frosted mug and takes a small sip of
the iced drink. Taking a longer drink, Zara watches him enjoy one of her
favorite beverages.

“It is delicious. I wasn’t impressed with the idea of mixing
iced tea and pink lemonade, but it’s good.”

Smiling, Zara looks down at her plate. Her mouth waters in
anticipation of the first bite.

Garrett looks over at her, puzzled, “I thought you loved
pizza.”

“I do love pizza. I am waiting for you to start.”

“Why?”

“It is what is right. That is how it is supposed to be.”

“Zara, please take a bite of pizza.”

Slowly, Zara reaches for her fork. Looking up at Garrett,
she searches for confirmation of his intent. She had been trained to never eat
her food first. Her entire life, her mother demanded that she wait for both her
father and her brother to begin eating. It feels wrong to take a bite before
the man at the table.

“Little One, we are not bound together. You aren’t my sub. I
want you to feel comfortable. Please try the pizza. Trudy worked really hard to
make your favorite and I reheated it to perfection.”

Zara cuts the pizza into small bites, her eyes filling with
tears as she puts the pizza in her mouth. Setting the fork on her plate while
she chews, the tears begin to run down her face.

“Zara, I am not sure how you were raised or what your
expectations are as a sub, but we need to address this immediately. I do not
want, nor have I ever wanted, a slave. Are you a slave in nature?”

Zara looks him in the eyes and begins to cry harder. “I don’t
know what I am. I don’t know if I am a sub or a slave or even if I want to be
in this type of relationship. I was born with my life predetermined. In one
second, everything that I have known to be true changed.

“When I was little I wanted to go to college. Something I
never in a million years thought I would have the opportunity to do. I don’t
know if I can do it. Everything that I was raised to be… I no longer am.

“I did not get collared as I was supposed to. Do you not see?
I have failed at the one thing I was meant to achieve. I do not know how to
behave in any situation because every situation was supposed to be different.”

“Little One, you have been keeping this all inside. I didn’t
stop the Ceremony because I didn’t want you. In fact, I want you so much that I
am giving you the freedom to decide if you want
me
.

“I’m scared too. I’m worried that you are going to go on
campus, have the time of your life and meet another man who suits you better. I’m
afraid you will turn your back on the Community and on me, that I will lose you
before I even had a chance to have you.”

They sit together in silence thinking about what the other
has said. Garrett speaks first. He stands up and grabs the present that caught Zara’s
attention when she came into the kitchen.

He holds it for a moment and returns to his seat. Silently,
he sets it down in front of Zara.

“I bought this for you in the event that you decided to take
this adventure and go to MSU. I attended Michigan State and had one of the best
times in my life. I want that for you. If you meet someone or decide that the Community
is not for you, I will respect that and I will help you in every way that I am
able.

“Please open it. For me.”

Her hand shakes as she picks up the perfectly wrapped
present. Zara begins to unwrap the sides of the package, working slowly not to rip
the paper. She uses the time to process what Garrett has just revealed.

He wants me.

That sends shivers all through her body.

Focusing on the job of opening her gift, Zara could feel Garrett’s
eyes on her as she works. She opens the box to find a silver necklace lying on
a baby blue pillow of silk. Also in the box are two small pouches. Garrett
takes the box out of Zara’s hand and places it on the table next to the pizza.

Lifting the chain, he states, “This chain represents your
journey of exploration. I ask that you wear it always. Please do not mistake it
for my collar because that is not the intent.”

Opening the blue pouch, a shiny pendant falls into his hand.
Lifting Zara’s right hand and turning it palm up, Garrett places a sparkly letter
Z in the center. He opens the purple pouch and pours the contents into Zara’s
hand. A small silver circle shows a lower case ‘g’ engraved on its surface.

“The Z is for Zara. You are always to remember that this is
your life to live and that you should make your own choices as you go. The G
represents me. You can see the G is smaller, but still present. Little One, I
will always be here for you. School may be overwhelming but I am going to be
there every step of the way.”

He takes the chain and threads the pendants. Garrett steps behind
Zara and lowers the chain in front of her, closing the clasp in the back. He
carefully lifts her hair out from the chain.

Returning to his seat, he takes her hand in his. “I want you
to find the answers to all the questions that roll around in your head when you
get that far off look in your eyes. If and when you want to explore a
relationship with me, we will do it privately and not before the entire Council.

“I swear to you that I will remain yours until you make the
decision not to be mine. That does not mean that I expect you to live as a sub,
but I would hope that if you meet someone that you wish to explore in an
intimate way that you will talk to me.”

Sitting back in his chair, Garrett stares at the Z that now
hangs around Zara’s throat. Her hand went to her neck like it had so many times
during their brief stay together. This time her fingers found the necklace and
wrapped around the charms.

“Thank you, Sir. Thank you for setting me free to seek who I
am and what I want. Thank you for telling me why you ended the Ceremony.”

“Zara, you should call me Garrett. When you call me Sir… I
plan to be your Dom. Your one and only. Does that make sense?”

Zara nods silently to Garrett. Piano music fills the space
between them, taking a hold of the moment.

Garret picks up both plates of cold pizza and places them on
the counter. Opening the oven and sliding on oven mitts, he pulls out the other
half of the pizza. A trivet from the drawer is placed on the table and the
pizza pan placed between them.

“Let’s eat. It’s late and I’d like to take you to my
favorite place tomorrow. If you are comfortable with that, Trudy won’t be
there. It will just be the two of us.”

Zara is beginning to recognize the subtleties of expressions
on Garrett’s face. He is nervous about what her response will be. This smile is
a mask for his uncertainty.

“I would very much like to see your favorite place. I feel
perfectly safe with you. I thought we were alone here.”

Garrett’s full smile replaces the last before Zara finishes
speaking. “Trudy has been here the entire time. She is available to you night
and day if you would like to speak with her.

“Oh… your phone! That’s your new phone.” Garrett points to
the black box with the picture on the cover. Zara picks up the box and hands it
to him.

Garrett retrieves the iPhone out of the box and powers it up
in seconds. Pointing to the warm pizza between them, he watches Zara take a new
piece. Garrett picks up a piece and inhales a huge bite.

“HOT… HOT… so HOT!!!” He holds his mouth open to draw in
cooler air.

Zara struggles to maintain her expression. Inside her
thoughts are jumbled, one thought pushing its way to the forefront. She could
not help thinking how adorable Garrett looks eating too-hot pizza in his lounge
pants. And the bare feet…

Cutting each piece and blowing on it before putting it in
her mouth, Zara feels her body begin to relax. It was so easy to be comfortable
with him.

“Can we discuss why you were so upset on the beach today and
again upstairs?”

She stops chewing the bit of pizza that is in her mouth and
swallows hard. The relaxation that has settled in her shoulders evaporates with
one question. Zara picks up her glass of Arnold Palmer and takes a long drink.

Zara nods.

“Hey… hey. Relax. We don’t have to talk about anything that
makes you uncomfortable. Allow me to say this one thing, your phone is charged.
Sloane’s mobile is already programmed.”

Zara’s head snaps up, the change in her facial expression unmasked
this time. She is still going to be able to speak to her best friend.

Zara had not given much thought about whether communicating
with her best friend from her old life would be permitted. In the last
twenty-four hours, there had been very little time to process any of the
monumental changes.

Garrett didn’t mention her family’s numbers being programmed
into the phone. Zara schooled her expression and shifted her focus onto the
phone. Looking at Garrett, she knows he perceived where her thoughts had
drifted.

“I haven’t loaded any music yet because I don’t know what
your favorite bands are. I have a lot of music on my computer and I’m almost
positive I’ll have something to get you started. You can load it up when you
have some free time at school.”

Zara’s blank stare gets a confused stare in return.

“I do not have a favorite band. I do not know much about music.
We did not grow up with music in our house.” With a wave of her hand towards
the speaker she continues, “This is nice. I like this a lot.”

Garrett finishes his piece of pizza and drinks more of the
Arnold Palmer. Zara feels like she has said something wrong and suddenly has no
more appetite.

“Aren’t you going to eat anymore?”

“I am finished. Thank you.”

Popping the last bites into his mouth, Garrett stands and
picks up the pizza pan. Zara jumps up and carries the mugs to the sink. While
Garrett puts the cans into the pantry, Zara clears the remaining dishes off the
table.

Leaning against the counter, Garrett listens to the music. “As
an only child, life can get lonely. My parents gave music to me early. There is
always music playing in the house, car, office… everywhere. I love music. I
wanted to be a pianist for a while as a kid.

“I probably liked saying pianist more than anything,” he chuckled
to himself. “My piano teacher sat my parents down and explained as gently as
possible that I was not talented enough to play the piano professionally. They
never knew I was listening in the hallway.

“They never told me what he said and there was a new piano
teacher when it was time for my next lesson.” His words trail off and it seems
Garrett is reliving the experience in his head.

“It’s late. You look like you are going to tip over. Come on,
off to bed with you.” He says changing the subject.