Bedrock (3 page)

Addie picked up a dress and rolled her eyes. “Uh huh. How do you
know all of this, anyway?”

“I asked around. And I may or may not have had Perry sneak a peek
at his student file.” Jessica said with her signature sly grin.

“That’s illegal. And Perry needs to stop doing everything you ask
of him. If he weren’t so in love with you, surely he would know better.”

Frowning, Jessica picked up a shirt and threw it at Addie. “He is
not in love with me, but whatever. Let’s go.”

Jessica, usually right, was correct about the stylist at
Niemen’s. Although, Addie knew that she had nowhere near the kind of money
required to buy the dress and shoes that were put together for her, she knew
better than to argue with Jessica. While Addie hated it, she knew that Jessica
enjoyed buying her things. She saw it as Jessica making Addie her very own personal
charity case, but deep down she knew it was more than that. Sometimes Jessica
felt more like a sister or even a mother to Addie than a friend. And the one
thing that made Jessica happy was seeing Addie happy. So she played along as
best she could.

The dress they picked out for Addie fit beautifully and hugged
her curves in all the right places. A long version of a t-shirt dress, the navy
stripes brought out the blue in her eyes, complimenting her long blond hair and
tan skin well. Against Jessica’s adamant insistence, Addie decided against
wearing heels because she was tall. Instead, she decided to wear her favorite
sandals. Jessica eventually relented but only after insisting on stopping by
the spa downstairs for fresh pedicures. Despite the fact that Addie had tons of
homework and a paper due the next day, she agreed.

It was late by the time Addie finished her paper. It bothered her
that she would not be turning in what she considered her best work, but,
frankly, she was out of time. And although she was exhausted, she found herself
lying there, staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep, and wondering how
tomorrow’s date would go.
Would she say the right things? Would he like her?
Would she even like him?
And when it came time to discuss her childhood, where
would she find the words?
How exactly do you tell someone that you’ve never
in your life ever felt really loved?
She sighed, wondering just how long
could she put off having that conversation?

Three

Patrick picked Addie up outside her dorm exactly as he
had said, promptly at seven o’clock. It was a warm fall night. The air smelled
of fresh cut grass. Standing there waiting, leaning against the stoop in his
dark jeans, he looked so good.
Damn.
She took a deep breath and paused,
taking him in.
This man was quite possibly the most beautiful thing she
had ever seen.

While she stood there mesmerized, pondering how she could keep
from messing this up, Patrick looked up at her and smiled. Her heart sank; the
butterflies in the pit of her stomach churned. Addie was certain she hadn’t
felt these feelings in a very long time, if ever.

At 6’4”, Patrick towered over her. His blond wavy hair, deep
green eyes, and dimples melted her heart.

“Hey. You look nice.” Patrick whispered in her ear as he bent
down to give her a hug. Feeling his breath on her skin made her dizzy.

Addie hugged him back, and as she pulled away, she could swear
she detected a hint of nervousness on his face. “I’m taking you to a local
restaurant that I’ve heard good things about. It features fresh, local food. I
hope that’s ok?” he said, holding the passenger door of his silver Audi R8 open
as she climbed in.

Unable to believe her luck, Addie smiled, feeling incredibly
grateful for chance meetings and, for the first time ever, her inherent clumsiness.

“That’s perfect.”

As far as first dates go, theirs was flawless.

It felt different for Addie; this time she cared. Patrick seemed
genuinely interested in her, asking questions in all the right places. He spoke
of his hopes to make partner at Morgan, Lehman & Scott, where he was
currently interning. Addie told him of her plan to get a job at GSD&M, one
of the best and most prestigious marketing agencies in the country. Patrick
joked with her about the competition being incredibly tough, but Addie seemed
confident that she could do it. She was sure of herself, and Patrick liked that
about her. She was so sure of herself that, when she sensed a little hesitation
on Patrick’s part, she decided to give him an out. “You know I think this is a
good thing we have going here . . . but the truth is that I’m pretty happy with
life as it is and I don’t want to mess it up. I’m not really looking to date,
and I’m sure as hell not looking for anything serious.

Patrick picked up his wine and took a sip, his eyes never leaving
Addie’s. “Touché.”

Patrick found Addie refreshing. Distinct. He was used to girls
who diminished themselves and hung on his every word—girls who he was sure were
just waiting to find a man so they could drop out of school, get married, and
pop out two point five kids. Which explained why Patrick dated very rarely.
Thankfully, his roommate, Marcus, did a great job of bringing girls around—girls
who were so easy and willing that he found very little need to date. He was
happy with the arrangement. It was easy for him. Mostly, it kept things simple
and gave him plenty of time to focus on what mattered most: school and work.
Patrick was focused, driven, and had no tolerance for distraction, so he even surprised
himself when he asked Addie out. He didn’t date and certainly didn’t want a
girlfriend, but there was something about this girl, something he couldn’t put
his finger on. He was drawn to her. Maybe it was because she was different from
the girls coming in and out of his bedroom. Maybe it was the fact that she
seemed so enthusiastic in that first conversation. She was going places and she
knew it. She didn’t seem to care too much, didn’t hang on his every word, or
take life too seriously. It was exactly what he found himself needing at the
moment. For the first time, maybe ever, he had found a welcome distraction.

The following night, Patrick’s roommate Marcus barged into his
room and yelled, “What the hell, Bro? What are you doin’ in here? I’ve got
friends over—friends with a capital F. And we’re all out here waiting for you.
Come on, man. Get yo’ ass up.”

“I . . . I think I’m going to pass tonight.”

Marcus put this hand up to Patrick’s forehead. “Pass? Why?

Patrick smiled. “I’m tired tonight.”

“Nah, man. This is about that girl, isn’t it?”

Patrick’s face reddened. “What girl?”

“That girl Shawn said he saw you out to dinner with.”

“Maybe.”

Marcus threw himself down on the bed. “Come on, man, say it ain’t
so.”

Patrick shrugged. “I like this one. She’s different. You’ll see.”

Marcus slugged Patrick’s shoulder. “So it’s like that, huh?”

“Yeah, I guess it’s like that.”

On the other hand, Addie found Patrick hard to read. He was
charming and funny, but standoffish. He was intellectual and quiet, the exact
opposite of what she was used to. Addie knew from their first conversation that
he was the type who valued his space, and she found it easy to give to him,
mostly because she had so many of her own interests. Still, Addie found herself
falling hard, as she knew she would the second she laid eyes on him. Luckily
for her, because she was so used to loving and not being loved in return, she
was able to put on the familiar poker face. It didn’t take her long to figure
out this was vital with Patrick. Still, there was energy between the two of
them. Everyone could see it: a connection that was undeniable. Although neither
of them was willing to label their relationship one way or another, Addie and
Patrick found themselves pretty much a couple from that first date on.

They dated smoothly for two years, becoming almost inseparable.
For the most part, their relationship was ideal. They were the best of friends,
and, as Jessica liked to remind her, their sex life was “to die for.” For the
first time ever, if Addie were being honest with herself, she felt loved.
Patrick adored her, perhaps even more than she adored him.

Then came their senior year. It was the year that would put them
to the test. Though it was never really said, Addie knew that Patrick’s family
didn’t approve of her, and she suspected that this was the reason Patrick
didn’t speak of the future or, specifically, of their future beyond graduation.
Patrick had mentioned a few times that his parents had a girl picked out they
hoped he’d marry. She knew from the beginning that Patrick’s childhood was very
different from her own. He grew up in an upscale gated community in Dallas,
Texas. His father was a doctor and his mom a housewife, who mostly played
tennis and planned exclusive dinner parties. Patrick had an older sister,
Jennifer, although he rarely spoke of her. Addie really never knew why
Patrick’s parents disapproved of their relationship and wondered if maybe
Patrick knew something he wasn’t letting on.

In the beginning, Addie tried to avoid any kind of conversation
about her family. She put it off for as long as she possibly could, finally only
telling him that her mother had died and that her grandparents had raised her.
Patrick didn’t pry or ask further questions, and for that she was grateful. As
time went on, she gave him pieces, brief snippets of her life growing up, but
never the whole truth.

Even though Addie had only met Patrick’s family a few times for
dinner when they stopped into town, she hadn’t really spent any significant
amount of time with them. She secretly hoped that once they got to know her,
they too, would fall in love. So, when Patrick informed Addie that his parents
had invited them to their lake house for the weekend the summer before their
final semester, she was ecstatic telling Patrick that perhaps they were finally
coming around. She read otherwise in his demeanor then hesitated, trying to
make excuses as to why she couldn’t go. But in the end, she gave in, knowing
that it was now or never.

The lake house, like the Greyers, was immaculate and formal.
While the Greyers put on a friendly face in front of their son, Addie was
otherwise given the cold shoulder. To add insult to injury, Addie couldn’t help
but notice that they went out of their way to make sure that whenever they
spoke of Patrick’s future, she wasn’t included, which they did, a lot. She
remained polite and tried her best to fit in while secretly wondering why they
invited her here. Unfortunately, she was quick enough to know their behavior
was intentional. They were trying their best to make her feel every bit as out
of place as she did. On the second night there, after an uncomfortable
interrogation about her childhood and family at the dinner table, courtesy of Jennifer,
Patrick’s older sister, Addie and Patrick had it out. Addie requested they
leave the following morning and accused his family of insinuating that she
wasn’t good enough for him, which Patrick flat out denied. To make matters
worse, Patrick was different around his family. It was as though he was a
different person and Addie felt uncomfortable. It made her question whether she
knew him at all.

Patrick walked in as Addie was throwing her things into her bag.
He surveyed the room. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m leaving, Patrick.”

Patrick sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the floor. “Stay,
Addison. They’ll come around. I think you’re making a big deal out of nothing.”

Addie felt her face growing red. She threw up her hands up. “Of
course, you do. Don’t accuse me of being crazy, Patrick. I know that your
parents think that I’m not good enough for you. I know when I’m not wanted.”

Patrick didn’t argue. “Let’s just sleep on it, ok. We’ll talk
about it in the morning.”

The next morning, Addie finished packing her things, called a
cab, and didn’t look back. She had spent her whole life feeling unwanted, and
now that she was an adult, she knew she had a choice in the matter.

She and Patrick went two weeks without speaking before finally
running into each other in the library. It was awkward seeing one another. With
neither of them knowing quite what to say, Addie spoke first, her voice
quivering as she apologized for running out on him the way she did. Patrick
hugged Addie as her silent tears fell, apologizing for the way his family treated
her. He told her that he was sorry with the way that they had left things and
asked Addie to meet him at his apartment later that evening to talk.

The truth was Addie had been a complete mess since walking out on
Patrick. She couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t do anything but think of
Patrick. She lost ten pounds that she didn’t have to lose. Jessica tried to
cheer her up by ordering takeout and renting sappy movies. She offered to take
her shopping, but Addie was content just sitting around in her pajamas, staring
into space. In a matter of a week, she had become gaunt, pale, with dark
circles under her eyes. She looked terrible, and Jessica told her as much.

Jessica walked over, flipped the TV off, and pulled the covers
off of Addie.

“Get up. The shower’s running. And you know how I hate to waste
water.”

Addie looked confused. “What the hell? You don’t care about
wasting water.”

Jessica tugged at Addie’s arm. “Well, I do now. GET UP! You’ll
feel better once you don’t smell so bad. Seriously. You can’t just lie here
forever. You’ve missed classes, Addie. This isn’t like you.”

Addie forced herself up, giving Jessica a dirty look in the
process. “Ok. Fine.”

Once showered and dressed, Addie realized Jessica was right, she
did feel better. So later that evening when she’d finally dragged herself to
the library, only to run into Patrick, she couldn’t help but feel that it was
fate.

Addie met Patrick at his apartment that evening as he suggested.
He cooked her dinner, during which they both were mostly quiet besides an
occasional exchange of pleasantries. Something was different. Something had
changed and Addie felt it. After dinner they sat on the sofa, Addie sipping her
wine, Patrick water. Finally, when Addie had had enough of the silence, when
she couldn’t take it another minute, she spoke up, breaking the quiet. “What is
it, Patrick? Just spit it out. I’m a big girl. I can take it.”

“Spit what out?”

“Whatever it is you need to say.”

Patrick turned toward her, taking her hand in his. “So . . . Ok .
. . I . . . Um . . . I can’t do this anymore. Being apart gave me time to think,
and I just don’t want anything serious right now. We’re
so
young,
Addie.”

As though she had been kicked out of thin air, Addie felt the
blow to her stomach. She wanted to cry. But tears wouldn’t come. She wouldn’t
let them. Instead, she put on her best poker face, careful not to give anything
away. Knowing that there was nothing left to say, she sat her wine on the
coffee table and stood, brushing her jeans with her hands. “Ok.” She turned
towards the door as Patrick grabbed her wrist.

“What are you doing? That’s it? All you have to say is ok?” He pulled
her closer.

Addie couldn’t avoid looking at him the way he was holding her,
and the last thing she wanted was for him to see her cry. She needed to make a
quick getaway. It was clear that Patrick had made up his mind, and Addie didn’t
want to make it any harder for him. She knew Patrick didn’t want to hurt her,
and she wouldn’t hurt him by letting him see just how much it hurt.