Bedding the Bachelors Box Set (Books 1-3) (30 page)

She wanted
him
.

***

Struck by indecision, Grace watched Max walk away.

Her mind told her to let him go.

Her body screamed to run after him.

His kiss. His words. Neither had been completely over the top, but they’d been just bold enough to get her attention and prove what she’d always believed. Max Dalton would be a spectacular lover.

Good Lord, the sound of his voice alone, cajoling her to
fly
with him while they were in a crowded bar, where anyone might overhear him, had her soaked and pressing her thighs together to ease the ache.

She refused to think of Operation Baby as idiocy, no matter what he or Lucy or Melina or anyone else thought. She knew what she wanted. But she also couldn’t deny she still wanted what Max was offering, too.

“You’re kidding, right?”

Lucy’s voice caused Grace to jerk.

“You’re actually still sitting here when I saw Max Dalton just make his move?”

Grace turned to face her friend. “I’m scared, Lucy,” she whispered before she even knew what she was going to say. But it was true so she didn’t bother trying to take it back.

“Why?”

“Because—because I trusted him last night and he hurt me, even if I understand he didn’t mean to. Besides, what if I do let him—” She waved her hand in a small circle. “—you know. If Max Dalton can’t give me what I want in bed, no one can. And if he can, how will I ever live without him? I’ll be screwed either way. If I concentrate on family first, there’s always the chance that later… ”

When her words faded into a prolonged silence, Lucy reached out and hugged her. “Grace, there’s nothing wrong with you. So many women have the same problem and for many different reasons. You don’t need to rush out and have a baby because you think you’re defective.”

“I know,” Grace said, resting her cheek against Lucy’s shoulder for a moment, even as she admitted to herself
—
she
did
think she was defective. All she wanted was to be normal. She was so tired of reaching for something she couldn’t have. Of enduring the psychological pressure and the physical frustration that came with repeatedly getting turned on only for it to go nowhere. Great sex should come naturally. The only thing that might come even more naturally was procreating. If she couldn’t have the first…

But she wasn’t going there. Not with Lucy, who already saw too much. Maybe her motives were slightly mixed up, but in the end it didn’t matter. Taking a deep breath, she pulled back. “I don’t want to have a baby because I think I’m defective. Not completely,” she said swiftly when Lucy opened her mouth to argue with her. “I just want a baby. I want one while I’m still young. I want one even without a man in my life. And I’m ready to have one. Honestly. But you were right. If I can... find what I’m looking for with a man beforehand, it would ease my mind about the future. And you’re also right about Max. He did make his move.”

Lucy looked like she wanted to respond to several of Grace’s comments but contented herself with simply saying, “So what are you waiting for then?”

Grace looked in the direction Max had gone. Her heart thudded like a runaway train in her chest. “Do you think I can still catch him?”

“I’m betting he’s walking
really
slowly, just in case. Now go for it, girl. And remember, no matter what happens, you are fabulous, Grace. You are fierce. You are an amazing woman. And Max isn’t doing you a favor here. He’s reaching out for what he’s wanted for a long time. You’ve just given him a great excuse to do so.”

Grace stood but looked at Lucy with confusion. “Why would he need an excuse to proposition me? Anyway, you’re wrong. This
is
a favor Max is doing for me. At most, he’s bored and this is a challenge he can’t resist.”

“You keep telling yourself that,” Lucy said. “But we’ll see where we are in a few weeks.”

“This is one night. Then I’m moving on with my plan.”

Lucy nudged her in the side, silently encouraging her to go after Max. “We’ll see,” she repeated. “Just don’t think you’re getting away with not giving me details afterward.”

With another gentle nudge from Lucy, Grace began walking toward the exit. Part of her felt like she was a robot on autopilot. The other part of her felt incredibly human, her tummy dancing to the hum of people in the bar and her teeth unable to keep her lip still.

Nervous.

Excited.

And yes, hopeful.

This was Max Dalton they were talking about.

The
Max Dalton.

But more importantly, it was the man who’d promised he’d do whatever it took to make her fly. Even if in the end he failed, she knew everything leading up to that moment would be the best she ever had.

***

Max was just unlocking his car when he sensed someone behind him.

He turned and saw Grace.

She looked about ready to bolt and he automatically raised his palms, as if she was a small animal he didn’t want to scare off. “Grace,” he said with a smile. “I—”

She took several jerky steps closer then said, “I want a baby. I mean, I know you know that. And I’m not asking you to have anything to do with that. Of course I’m not. But you have to understand, that’s what I want most. More than good sex. And that’s not going to change.”

“Okay,” he said, not knowing where she was going with this.

“You might think I’m making a mistake, but it really is none of your business. Aside from what you’re offering me,
I’m
not your business. So I don’t want to hear any more about my baby plan being idiotic, okay?”

Fuck, what could he say to that? He still had every intention of convincing her to rethink her plan, if only because he owed that to Melina. But she didn’t wait for his response.

“I’d made up my mind that I was focused on the wrong thing. Because sex has been good for me, even without… all that.” She waved her hand in a small circle, obviously referring to her ever-elusive orgasm. “I’ve never believed sex is the be-all, end-all.”

Did she seriously think he was going to agree with her? He remained silent.

She rubbed her arms together, appearing frustrated that he wasn’t responding the way she obviously wanted.

“Maybe it’s not the be-all, end-all,” he finally said. “But it sure makes life worth living.”

Her mouth twisted and she looked away. “Spoken like a man,” she said.

“No,” he said. “Spoken like someone who’s actually had sex.”

Her head whipped up. “I’ve had sex. Good sex.”

“You haven’t come with a man, Grace. In the end, how good could the sex have been?”

She licked her lips and shuffled her feet, looking as uncertain and tentative as he’d ever seen her. “And you really think you can change my mind about the benefits of sex?”

What was going on here? Was she testing him? Did she expect him to say, “Hell, yes. No problem”? He wasn’t that naïve. He couldn’t just touch Grace and make her come, but he would keep going until they found the magic ticket. Hell, he imagined he’d die trying, and it wouldn’t be such a bad way to go. Only he couldn’t do it by himself. “Depends,” he said.

“On what?”

“On whether you’ll actually give up control.”

“I give up control.”

“No. You don’t. Because if you did, you’d have had an orgasm long before now.”

She seemed stumped for an answer. “Have you ever… been with a woman who’s had trouble with all that?” Again, the hand wave.

He dragged his hands over his face, trying not to smile. Somehow he didn’t think she’d appreciate it. “Sure,” he said. “It’s not that uncommon for women, Dixie. But those women trusted me. They embraced the idea that
that
—” He waved his hand. “—was possible and let me run the show. And we always worked it out.”

Her face transformed. She practically pointed her finger at him and shouted, “Ah ha.” Of course she did neither, but he read her all the same. “How do you know? They could have faked like a possum.”

His brows furrowed at the suggestion he’d allow a woman to leave his bed without being completely satisfied. “Did you fake it?” he asked.

She immediately sobered, giving him his answer even as she took several steps back. He sighed. Not exactly what he was going for. He’d have to push her to talk, of course, but he’d have to do it when she was closer so she couldn’t run away and hide.

“Most men have fragile egos,” she said.

“Well, I don’t, so you don’t have to worry about playing possum. But let’s focus on one thing at a time here. It seems you’re accepting the offer I made inside. If that’s the case, stop using delay tactics to cover up your nerves and come here.” He said it gently, but with the obvious intention that she obey. He wondered if she’d balk. He liked to dominate in bed, and instinctively he knew that was exactly what Grace needed from him.

Only she wasn’t through fighting whatever was keeping her ten feet away.

“Wait. Before… it’s only fair... You have to know I enjoy sex. I like pleasing a man. I like being pleased. And despite what you said, I do give up control. But the chances of it happening for me are zero. Below zero.”

He immediately wanted to deny her claim. Hell, he immediately wanted to take her in his arms and kiss away the nonsense she was spouting. Instead, knowing she was all jazzed up and needed to say what was on her mind, he leaned back against his car and crossed his arms over his chest. “In this context, I’m not sure a below zero chance is even possible.”

His relaxed posture seemed to calm her and she stepped closer.
That’s right, baby girl. Come to me.
A strange sense of lightness overcame him, as if a burden he was carrying and didn’t notice until now was lifted. It confused him, but he was too focused on Grace and her next words to analyze it.

“See, that’s where you’re wrong. I mean, you’re right. I did come to see you last night to ask for… that. But part of the reason I chickened out, well, I can’t let this go any further until you know exactly what a burden it’s going to be for you, Sugar.”

Max felt a fierce frown overtake his face. “Burden?” he said, straightening. Suddenly he remembered her telling Melina and Lucy she was a sorry excuse for a woman. “That’s how you think of yourself? Damn it, Grace—”

“Please,” she said. “Just listen to me. Let me say what I need to say or this can’t go any further.”

Seeing she was serious, Max forced himself to lean back against the car again. “Fine. But don’t refer to yourself as a fucking burden. You’re a beautiful woman and it would be my honor to be with you. It would be any man’s honor.”

“That’s what several men before you thought. Before they tried to give me what I wanted and couldn’t. And before you say what I know you’re going to say, it wasn’t them, it was
me
.”

“Dixie—”

“My first boyfriend was an all-star quarterback in college. He was handsome, popular, smart. And he was a good lover. He took his time. He liked sex. He liked me. But we went out for two years. Two years, Max, and nothing.”

She was speaking fast now. As if she had to in order to get it all out. Max straightened and took two steps toward her. “That doesn’t mean—”

She took exactly two steps back, causing him to narrow his eyes and stop. He’d stayed away from her for more than a year, but already he was damn tired of her backing away from him.

“After that, I tried a couple of times… with guys I just met and…” She was clearly embarrassed to be admitting she’d had casual sex. He wanted to shake her. As if she had anything to be embarrassed about, considering he was a veritable master at casual sex. “Those times, it wasn’t even good. Not any part of it. I could barely relax and I learned it wasn’t worth it, trying with someone who didn’t care about me and whom I didn’t give a hoot about either. I just ended up feeling worse about myself.”

“That’s not what’s happening here. I care about you. And I’ve—”

She interrupted him again, and it started to piss him off even as part of him was finding her more and more adorable. “I didn’t have a serious boyfriend again until a few years later. I met a guy when I was out celebrating my twenty-fourth birthday. He was a college professor, but far from a nerd. Again, handsome. Again, sexy. Again, he cared about me and I cared about him. He had—he had straight, white teeth. Great hair. He was funny. He was kind. He came from good people. I tried to fake it but eventually he caught on. And after three years together, three years of him trying and trying and trying, and me failing and failing and failing…” Her breath hitched and Max had had enough.

He moved quickly toward her, not letting the fact she backed away deter him this time. “Grace,” he whispered as he gathered her in his arms. She was shaking, he realized. Totally eating up that shit about her being a failure. Or maybe she was just reliving the sheer frustration she’d felt time after time, caring about a man but not being able to totally let herself go sexually. Reliving the heartache of those men walking away from her because of it.

Only she wasn’t seeing things clearly. With the amount of pressure she was putting on herself, of course it had been impossible to let go. And that’s what this was about, he was sure of it. She hadn’t been able to let herself go with those men. He was going to find out why and help her past those barriers.

“It happened again and again, just like that,” she said. “Good men. Men I was attracted to. Men I let tie me down or blindfold me. Men with hard abs and big biceps and some with big—”

She abruptly stopped talking and he found himself no longer able to hide his amusement. Laughing, he hugged her tighter. “White teeth. Good hair. Hot bods and big dicks. I got it. Message received, Grace.” She shook her head and started to pull away, but he held her tighter. “You were with quality men. They were with a quality woman. You don’t have to worry that I don’t know what I’m getting into. You’ve warned me this isn’t going to be easy. What I need now is for you to get that shit out of your head.” He pulled back and held her gaze. “This isn’t just about me doing you a favor. I’ve wanted you for a long time.”

When she started to look away, he cupped her chin and refused to let her. “I think you’re beautiful. You turn me on more than any woman has in a long, long time. I need this, Dixie, just as much as you need it. Something’s been missing from my life. I don’t know what it is, but what I do know is the idea of being with you, and yes, the idea of proving to you there’s not one damn thing wrong with you, has me jazzed up and excited. Very excited,” he whispered. “You with me?”