Becoming Mona Lisa (30 page)

“
Now what?” I mumbled. I separated the items that required a stay in the fridge, from those that didn't, but those that didn't had no home. The kitchen cabinets were gone.

I piled the bags in the corner of the kitchen. “Holy schnookies,” I whispered. This domestic thing was a gigantic pain in the ass.

“
Meow,” Daisy said from the doorway.

“
Give me a sec,” I said, as I pulled a can of cat food from the closest bag, and began tugging at the lid. I had to wonder how many fingers or hands were lost annually to the dangerous task. “Where's your brother?” Duke was nowhere to be found. “Duke?” I called, almost certain I could hear a faint mewing.

It was coming from beyond the gaping hole in the wall.

“
Shit,” I whispered. “Duke? Here kitty, kitty.” I made some kitty-calling kissing sounds and spit down the front of my shirt.

I stuck my head in the hole, and sure enough, the mewing got louder and more demanding.

Daisy was still staring at me.

“
I know. Bad idea, right?”

Bad idea or not, my need to rescue a feline in peril won out over common sense. I grabbed the flashlight from the table and crawled through the hole.

“
If I don't come back, take care of Tom,” I said to Daisy, who ignored me in favor of her food dish. “Thanks for your concern.”

The dank smell enveloped me immediately, and I returned to the kitchen long enough to grab the mask. “Here we go,” I whispered, as I descended the stairs. Duke was not in the stone room, and his persistent cries were coming from beyond the locked door. “Awesome,” I mumbled.

The room was exactly how we'd left it two hours ago, about twenty by twenty, stone walls, stone floor. I crossed to the wooden door and knocked.

Why not?

Maybe someone would answer.

They didn't.

“
Duke?” I said, and he meowed in response. His mewing was decidedly closer, but it was not coming from beyond the door. It seemed to be coming from behind me.

“
Hey, buddy,” I said as I turned, but the cat was not behind me. I was no longer anxious about being alone in the unexplored space. Now I was just pissed.

“
What in the sam hell?” I whispered. “Duke! Where the hell are you??!!”

I crossed the room and stood before the wall behind the staircase. “Duke?” I said softly, and the kitten meowed in response. “No fucking way,” I muttered. I reached out and timidly touched the wall. It was real, and it was solid. “What the hell is going on?” I said, then fell silent. I stood for a moment, praying for the sound of footsteps in the house. There were none.

The same words played over and over in my head.

Go back upstairs and wait. Go back upstairs and wait. Go back upstairs and wait.

I didn't.

I pressed my ear and body against the wall, and the damn thing moved. I have absolutely no idea what happened next, except that I found myself moving involuntarily, the flashlight went flying, I fell to the floor, and wet my pants.

I was terrified, but on the upside, I'd found Duke. He was rubbing against my face.

The flashlight was on the floor about ten feet from where I'd landed. It cast its beam along a stone floor.

Dirt clung to my wet jeans, as I shimmied along the floor. I grabbed the flashlight and panned across the space.

I was in a furnished room. Filthy, but furnished. An ancient looking bed was pressed against the wall. A dust-and-cobweb-covered quilt was thrown over what I assumed was a mattress. A pitcher and bowl sat atop a shabby wooden table. Everything was covered by a layer of dust that hadn't been disturbed in years. Whoever had lived here had been away a good, long while, and hadn't hired a maid to tidy up in their absence.

There were no windows. I saw what appeared to be the back side of the wooden door, and another door exited the room on the far wall. Both doors were locked. I wasn't sure how I'd gotten into the room, but it was obvious I was going to have some trouble getting back out again.

“
Sonovabitch,” I mumbled. “This cannot be happening.”

“
Meow,” Duke wailed in his, “I am hungry,” cry.

“
Don't start. This is clearly your fault.”

I sat on the bed and pouted. Doris Siggs could keep my boys tied up all afternoon, which meant I could be sitting in my pee jeans for hours.

“
Meow.”

“
Shut up.”

Minutes passed like days. The silence was almost deafening, but was eventually broken by a noise across the room.

“
Duke?” I whispered.

The room grew silent again.

“
Duke? What are you doing over there?”

I shined my light across the room. The door was no longer closed. It was ajar and there was something - someone - in the doorway.

I let out a scream that could have shattered the sound barrier.

“
Mona!!” Tom yelled, as he and Robbie burst through the other door. I threw myself into my husband's arms. My body shook so hard I could swear I heard my bones rattling.

“
What the hell happened? How did you get in here? I've been searching for you for an hour,” Tom rambled.

“
Duke got in here somehow and I was trying to find him, and I fell, and suddenly I was in here.”

“
What's through there?” Robbie asked, pointing toward the other door, which still stood ajar.

“
I, I,....I don't know,” I stammered. “I checked that door and it was locked, and then I heard something and pointed the flashlight, and the door was open and there was someone standing there.” I paused to breathe, but couldn't continue. I was shaking too badly.

“
What is it, Robbie?” Tom asked.

“
There's a tunnel of some sort. What is all this?” Robbie asked.

“
I have no idea,” Tom said, as he pulled me closer. “Are you wet?” he asked me.

“
I peed my pants,” I whined.

“
This is absolutely wild,” Robbie said. “What do you think this tunnel is for?”

“
I have no idea, but whatever it is, I think it's haunted. Please, please, please get me out of here,” I blubbered.

“
Come on, babe.” Tom took my hand and led me through the door.

“
Robbie, get Duke!” I pleaded.

Tom and I were about to climb the stairs when Robbie let out a shriek that sounded like a nine-year-old girl.

“
What?” I whined. “What?”

“
I saw something. Let's get the hell out of here!!” Robbie yelled.

Something crashed behind us and we all took off like the devil himself was on our heels. I c
lambered back up the stairs, crawled through the secret room, crashed through the half-demolished wall, and landed on the kitchen floor. Tom and Robbie followed, and we all sat on the floor, panting like we'd just run the Boston Marathon.

“What in the name of God just happened?” I asked, once I'd regained the ability to speak.

“I have no freakin' idea, but I damn near pissed myself,” Robbie admitted.

That makes two of us.

Twenty-Seven

Fire and drunkenness is a vile combination.

We remained on the kitchen floor until our breathing returned to normal. Robbie left us long enough to get a piece of plywood to keep the cats out of the cavern below us.

Tom and I sat quietly, and waited for Robbie to return.

“Okay,” I said. “Using small words, in a way that's easy for me to understand, can one of you tell me what the hell just happened?”

“There would appear to be some kind of secret room under the house and it's connected to a tunnel,” Robbie said.

“I gathered that,” I said, then grew quiet. Several moments passed as our breathing slowed. “I saw something,” I whispered.

“So did I,” Robbie said.

“What was it?” Tom asked.

I turned to Robbie, who looked shaken. “I'm not sure,” he said.

“Me either,” I added.

“There's something else I can't figure out,” Tom said.

“What's that?” I asked.

“How did you get in the room? When Rob and I got back, the door was still locked.”

“Would you believe me if I said I have no idea? I was trying to find Duke, and I pressed my ear to the wall, and then I was on the floor, and that's when I peed myself.”

Robbie smiled weakly, but said nothing.

“It bugs the hell out of me that we can't figure out how you got in there,” Tom said. “In fact, I'm calling Ed Mulpepper. I want to know what the hell that is down there.”

“You go right ahead. I'm gonna jump in the shower and change my clothes,” I said.

Tom left the kitchen in search of his cell phone, and for a moment I stayed where I was. “Rob?” I said.

“Yeah?”

“Will you come in the bathroom with me?” I whispered.

“Scared?” he asked.

“Shitless,” I admitted.

He stood up and reached for my hand. “Great God, you're drenched,” he said, and I laughed.

Robbie walked me to the bathroom and stood outside the door until I'd locked it behind me. I didn't think it would be much of a deterrent for a ghost, but I felt a bit more secure when I heard the lock slide into place.

“I'm good,” I said. “Thanks, Rob.”

“I'll be in the living room,” Robbie said.

I was in and out of the shower in five minutes, and fully dressed in three more.

“Is Ed coming?” I asked, finding the Brothers Siggs in the living room.

“He's on his way,” Tom replied.

I put on a fresh pot of coffee, primarily because I was exhausted, but also because I knew cops liked coffee. I didn't have any donuts, but maybe cops also liked Fudge Rounds.

About ten minutes later, Deputy Ed Mulpepper was knocking on the door. “Come on in, Ed,” I said, stepping aside so he could enter. “Coffee?” I offered, and Ed accepted graciously. I could hear the sound of voices coming from the living room, as I filled four coffee cups.

“I'm gonna show Ed the secret room,” Tom said, from the kitchen doorway.

“I'll be right here waiting,” I replied.

“Me, too,” Robbie said, taking a cup of coffee, and scooping sugar into it like a madman.

“Chicken shit,” I whispered.

“Shut up, pissy pants,” he chastised, and I punched him.

I sat across from Robbie, who winced when he brought his coffee to his lips.

“Good?” I asked.

“Delicious,” he said with a wink. “So good I think I'll dump it.” He did. He washed the coffee down the drain and refilled his cup. “Should we be down there?” he asked.

“They're fine. Tom's a skeptic and Ed has a gun. I think they've got it covered,” I said.

If it were up to me, I'd have been renting a cement mixer, cooking up a couple of tons of gritty goo, and filling in the damn room. As intrigued as I was, I had no desire to come face-to-face with whatever I saw in the doorway.

“My eyes were just playing tricks on me,” I said aloud.

“Wishful thinking,” Robbie said from across the table.

Tom and Ed returned a few minutes later. “Are you guys sure the door on the other side of the room was open?” Tom asked.

“Absolutely sure,” I said.

“Same here. I know it was. It leads to a tunnel on the other side. I saw it,” Robbie said. “Why?”

“Well, the door locks from the other side. The hinges are on the other side, too. It's locked up tight. Neither one of us could get it to budge,” Tom said.

“That's impossible,” I said.

“I assure you it's not, ma'am,” Ed said. “Darn thing's locked up like Fort Knox.”

“What the hell?” I asked.

“No idea, babe,” Tom said.

I turned to Ed. “How did I get in there?” I asked.

“We couldn't figure that out either. We inspected the entire room. If there's a secret entrance, it certainly eluded the two of us,” Ed admitted.

“So, what do we do now?” I asked Ed.

“Well, your husband says you've lived here for almost ten years without even knowing the room was there. You certainly have the right to leave well enough alone. It doesn't seem as though anyone's been in there for years. You could seal off the stairs and lay a cement floor,” Ed suggested.

“We could,” I replied with a shrug.

“There's a tunnel leading off that room,” Robbie said. “That seems strange.”

“Well, folks, Bucks County is a mighty old place. Who knows what was here before this house. Might have been some kind of plantation. Folks used tunnels to pass from building to building without facing the elements. Harsh winters aren't a new thing around here, and from what I've heard, neither are underground tunnels,” Ed explained.