Because You Exist (19 page)

“Who is?” Jo asked desperately.

“The Dark Men.”

I heard someone call for security. Maybe one of the nurses. A tall, doctor-looking type grabbed Jo’s mom from behind by the arms and started to pull her away. Jo was quick. She jumped to her feet and punched the man in the face. The man dropped Jo’s mom to the floor and stumbled back holding his now bloodied nose.

“We have to get out of here,” Randall yelled, panicked.

But Jo wasn’t listening to anyone. Her mom was on her knees, her eyes darting all around, waiting for her next attacker. Jo crouched in front of her and grabbed her face. “Why? Mom? Why?”

“Because I was never meant to raise you. Neither of you. They’ll take you and twist you. They’ll make you fight. They want you to fail. I never knew they’d take you from me. I wouldn’t have agreed to it.”

Time was running out. I could feel it. Soon, security would be here. We couldn’t risk being caught.

Hadn’t we seen enough?

I wanted to tell Jo this but my voice wouldn’t work.

“Jo, we have to go. Now. Grab her, Logan!” Randall yelled to me.

“No! You can’t go! Not before I tell you,” Jo’s mom cried out.

“What, mom?” Jo asked, her voice cracking.

“I shifted. He took me. I shifted. And he showed me. They don’t know he showed me!”

“What did he show you?”

“One of you will die. One of my children will die.” And then the woman started to wail. Whatever strand of sanity she was holding onto to speak to her daughter was gone. The woman was writhing around on the floor, cursing and screaming.

Bentham knocked past me and rushed to Jo. He grabbed her and began to drag her from the mental woman lying on the floor. There wasn’t anything we could do for this woman. We could only run.

But Jo wasn’t so willing.

She let the bottom half of her body go limp, making it more difficult for Bentham to drag her. I still found it impossible to move my legs. Bentham let free a grunt and swept his arm under Jo’s legs so he could carry her.

“We have to run,” Randall implored.

And I sprang into the action. The entire time we ran Jo was screaming for Bentham to let her down. She was cursing us all out. She twisted her body around in his arms and shot her arm out, as if she could somehow reach her mother if she reached far enough.

My mother.

The woman I left behind too.

Twins.

And one of her children would die.

***

We didn’t stop running until we were blocks away from the hospital. Jo had gone quiet about five minutes before we stopped. Even I was surprised when she forcefully shoved Bentham away from her the minute he put her down.

Her face was red with anger. I took a step towards her. My sister. But she pointed a finger in my face and flashed nothing but disgust. “Where were you?” she screamed. I took a step away from her, but she stalked towards me. “You were supposed to help me!”

Her fist curled, and I thought she was going to punch me. Maybe I deserved it. But before she could spring her had back, Bentham appeared and dragged her back away from me. Jo struggled against him. He bent his head towards her ear and began to whisper to her. Whatever he was saying, Jo began to struggle less and less.

Soon, she didn’t move at all. Her eyes went tight. Her face gave. She looked up at Bentham and nodded.

I didn’t like it.

I strode over to Bentham and got in his face. “What’d you just say to her?” I demanded. Because I had a feeling whatever it was, it wasn’t good. He was a dark shifter, after all. I knew the sort of mood Jo was in. When I looked to her now she looked determined. Her anger had lessened.

“None of your business,” he spat, pulling Jo closer to him. She didn’t fight him off.

“Like hell it ain’t,” I yelled. I was ready for this fight.

“If your sister wants to tell you, she will.”

There it was. Out loud. Someone had said it. And once something was said, it could never be unsaid.

My sister.

Who looked up at me with hate.

Chapter 27

The walk from the bathrooms back to the classroom was hell. Complete and utter hell. Neither of us spoke as we made our way back.

Me and my sister.

Every time I thought the word, my stomach knotted up. I felt something move up my throat. I wanted to hurl. So many images flashed through my mind, so many things that caused me shame. The way I checked her out during the track meet. The way she curled her body against mine that one stormy night. The way she held my hands and danced with me in the middle of a parking lot in the late hours of the night while my girlfriend was holding her drunk friend’s hair while she puked.

Why these images shamed me I wasn’t sure.

They were innocent.

It was friendship.

Why did they feel wrong?

If Jo was thinking on these same moments, I couldn’t tell. She had her hoodie over her head. By the time we reached the classroom door, the bell rang. Jo and I moved to opposite sides of the door to allow the rush of students out before going back in for our stuff. I was glad school was almost over.

I was glad we missed the rest of the day’s sex talk.

When Alec came through the classroom door I should have been prepared. Of course he would say something. It’s what he lived for—making others feel like crap. I know because it’s what I lived for once as well.

I wasn’t sure what kept me going anymore.

I wasn’t sure of anything at all.

“Wow. That was fast. She must be a tight little thing,” he said, nodding towards Jo who had gone completely still.

I was too exhausted to fight with him. Besides, his words caused a wave of nausea to overtake me. I moved so I could go around him, but he held his arm across the door so I couldn’t get through. “When you’re ready to try something new, Scary, let me know. You must be some kind of good if he’s still asking for it.”

“Move,” I said. I couldn’t even make my voice sound like it cared.

That’s when Alec made the biggest mistake he could. He reached out and tapped Jo under her chin. That was the end.

Jo grabbed Alec by the front of his shirt and pulled him from the doorway, slamming him against a locker. Caught off guard by her strength, Alec didn’t have time to bring his hands up before she grabbed him by the back of the neck and slammed his head into her knee. Alec staggered back and Jo started to pummel him.

By this time, a crowd had formed around the two but no one was cheering. They were silent. They were stunned. Jo was animalistic. And I could see that everyone was scared.

She had become Scary Carrie.

“BREAK IT UP!” Mr. Williams yelled.

But Jo continued to pound on Alec. The blood covered his face, the floor, and her hands. I pushed through the crowd and tackled Jo, falling with her to the ground. “Stop this!” I yelled into her ear.

Jo shook her head, dazed. She shoved me off her, pulling herself to her feet. Despite Mr. Williams’ insistent pleas she stayed where she was until an administrator could come for her, Jo turned from the hurt Alec, her shocked classmates, and me.

And ran out of the building.

I didn’t wait for an administrator either. I ran after her. By the time I caught up with her, she was walking several blocks from the school. Not bothering to get her car. She just ran. But she’d never be a long distance runner, and I knew I’d be able to catch up with her eventually.

She ignored me as she kept walking away from Shepherd High.

I yanked her by the arm, forcing her to look at me.

When she did, I noticed she was crying. She hurriedly brought a shaky hand to her eyes in an effort to wipe the tears away. My anger at her lessened but only a little. She’d really messed things up.

“What the hell was that?” I snapped at her.

“You tell me!” she yelled, yanking her arm from my grip.

I wondered if my face was as red as hers. I was shaking. I was so damn mad at her. “What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”

“What kind of friend are you? You just sat there and let him say those things!”

I threw my hands in the air. “Really? Really, Jo? That’s what this is about? Alec’s a dumbass. He says stupid shit all the time.”

“Don’t. If he said those things to Jenna, would you have sat there?”

“You’re not my girlfriend!” I screamed at her. “Stop acting like you are. Stop acting like it’s my damn job to take care of you and protect you from them!”

Jo laughed bitterly. “No. I’m not your girlfriend. I’m your damn sister.”

There it was again. The tightness of my throat. I took a step away from her.

“It doesn’t matter what he said, or what I didn’t do. He didn’t deserve that. You can’t keep resorting to violence, Jo.”

Jo rolled her eyes. “Not this again.”

“Not this again? Two weeks ago, you killed a man. You kicked the shit out of Ben, the boy you supposedly have the hots for. You punched that doctor. And probably took Alec out of this week’s game.”

“That’s what this is about. Isn’t it?” she charged.

“Stop,” I said, pointing my finger in her face. “Don’t turn this on me.”

“It’s always about you, Logan!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

A few cars started to honk at us. We were no doubt providing a great show for those driving on Kempsville Rd.

“You want to fool yourself that you’ve changed, but you haven’t. Not when it counts. You didn’t defend me because you couldn’t stand the thought that you might ruin the “in” you have. You couldn’t even be friends with me till Jenna said it was all right. When it comes to choosing between the people you can’t stand but desperately want to be a part of and choosing me, you’ll always choose them. We’re not really friends, and we both know it.”

She was crying harder now.

“That’s crap! What about how I stepped in with your dad?”

“What about how you didn’t step in with our mom?” she countered. “You couldn’t bear it. Could you? The thought of being related to me. It makes you sick. I can see it written all over your face.”

“You’re wrong,” I said weakly.

Jo shook her head. “I’m not. In the back of your mind, you wanted to be able to walk away. The minute this was over you could ditch me. Not anymore.”

“Not true.” It wasn’t. I didn’t plan on ditching her. I didn’t know why the news of us being siblings disturbed me so much. It just did. I didn’t know how to tell her this.

“Want to know what makes us so different?” she asked. She didn’t wait for me to answer before continuing. She never waited for me. “You hate shifting. You hate going to that world where you feel so damn helpless it drives you a little mad. You wonder what you did to get damned into this thing.”

Jo took a heavy breath. My hand reached for her, so I took another step back to stop the insane need I felt to wrap her into my arms.

“The difference between you and me is I love the shift. I hate it here. This place. This world. I have nothing here. Do you understand me? Nothing. When they took our mother away, they made sure of it. At least when we shift, I feel like I can do something. I don’t let anyone take anything from me. I fight back.”

“What did he said to you?” I asked suddenly.

“Who?”

“Bentham.”

Jo wiped her eyes again. When she was sure she had erased all evidence of her traitorous tears, she looked straight at me. “He reminded me we were dark. He told me there would come a time when we would get to choose to save it all or watch it all burn.”

I felt a chill run down my spine. “The Dark Men, the ones who took you from your mother, they wanted your life to be bad. They wanted you to want to end things.”

I had never been more certain of anything in my life.

Jo shrugged her shoulders. Her face back to being controlled. Stoic. “Can’t place all the blame on them. They may have made sure I grew up with that lame excuse of a man, but they didn’t make the people who knew I was being abused and said nothing. They didn’t make the people like Alec who bullied me and made me feel like nothing my whole life.”

“Stop talking like this,” I replied, taking a step towards her.

“You’re just concerned because you’re worried she’ll die. Jenna. Don’t sit there and pretend you’re worried about my soul or some crap.”

“This isn’t about her.” And I meant it. Right now it was about the broken girl in front of me. The girl I helped break for so many years.

“This has always been about her,” she whispered.

Suddenly, I couldn’t escape the feeling that I had betrayed her. And Jenna. I didn’t know what I was doing anymore.

Jo took another step towards me, and my body tensed up. Jo frowned and took a step back. “You see? You really can’t stand it. You were just using me to save her. Every nice thing you said and did was to make sure I stayed your partner. But you’ve only ever been my partner when it suited you.”

I’m not sure why but something about these words caused me to snap. There were a billions things floating around my head, begging to be said, but I instead said the things I didn’t want to say. “I’m sorry your life sucks. I’m sorry you’ll never be anything to them. I’m sorry you want to bone that creepy ass delinquent when I have an actual healthy relationship. I’m sorry you’re so jealous of me. But I never signed up to change your life. So, stop riding me all the damn time!”

Jo flinched. I knew I’d hurt her. She shook her head and started walking backwards away from me. “I may be the dark shifter, but you’re a pathetic excuse for a human being, Logan. Do you hear me? You’re a damn terrible person. And you wonder why I sometimes think this whole world could go straight to hell, and we wouldn’t be losing anything.”

And then she turned from me.

And I didn’t stop her.

And I knew there was no going back.