Beautifully Shattered (The Beautifully Series Book 1) (32 page)

I force air into my
lungs and slowly exhale, trying not to throw up again. So not what I
need right now. We stop walking, I hear Jax moving about, but I
refuse to open my eyes. This is just a horrible nightmare. This isn’t
real. There’s no way I’m unlucky enough to end up at his place
when I’m this drunk. The world isn’t that cruel, is it? Yes, yes
it is.

“Are you going to
throw up again because I would prefer if you did it in my toilet
instead of on me next time,” Jax says from behind me.

Refusing to acknowledge
his close proximity, I swallow a mouthful of air that’s dripping in
his scent. I’m relieved that I’m just dizzy, no longer nauseous.

“Maybe I’m not that
drunk, maybe it’s just you that makes me sick,” I say in a
teasing voice I don’t think I pull off so well. For the life of me,
I can’t seem to care.

Jax leads me to his
couch and orders me to sit. Leaning back, I try to focus on exactly
how I ended up here. Rubbing my palms over my eyes, I concentrate as
hard as I can but I can only pull up a slight memory of Harper asking
if I wanted to see the boyfriend or lover.

God, I don’t think
I’ve ever been this drunk in my entire life. She should come with a
warning label. I have to ask her for the details. My phone. I can ask
her now. I open my eyes and I’m happy to see my purse attached to
my shoulder. Thank goodness! Somehow my purse jumps from my shoulder
to the floor. Hmmm. When did my purse start moving on its own? I
reach for it, but gravity is a bitch. I fall flat on my face, nearly
hitting my head on the coffee table. This is going to hurt tomorrow.
I struggle to sit up, but my body isn’t cooperating. I attempt
three more times before giving up. Laying on the floor seems like the
better option anyway. This isn’t so bad, I think I’ll sleep here.

I dream of flying
through the woods. It’s so vivid that I can smell it. I inhale the
smell of fresh air, oak trees, and home.

“If I smell bad I
blame your little gift,” someone chuckles into my ear.

My eyes snap open. “So
that wasn’t a nightmare then?”

Jax brushes my bangs
out of my face. “More my nightmare than yours. I’ve never been
thrown up on, and as much as I love everything you do, I’d really
rather you not do that again.”

I hate that I know
we’re in Jax’s bed. Ugh! The man lives in a huge, over-the-top
penthouse, he couldn’t have stuck me in one of the many spare
bedrooms? He reads my mind or maybe I spoke out loud? It’s hard to
tell at this point.

“Didn’t want you to
throw up in your sleep and drown in your own vomit.”

I roll my eyes, but on
the inside I’m smiling. I wish I wasn’t this drunk, though. Okay,
so maybe I’m not drunk anymore, but my head is fuzzy. Jax reaches
behind him and offers the most beautiful thing I’ve seen besides
him this morning. A glass of water. I smile appreciatively at him
before I chug the entire glass. Yup, classy should be my middle name.
I gaze out his panoramic window, and to my surprise, it’s dark. I
turn back to Jax, startled.

“Please tell me I
didn’t sleep the entire day away.”

He gives me the
don’t-be-stupid look. “No, you’ve only been out for a little
over an hour.”

I slap my hand over my
face and mutter, “Oh.”

He gently lifts my hand
off my face, leans close enough to where our noses almost touch. I
hold my breath, remembering I threw up, and watch his mouth as he
says, “It’s not like we haven’t slept together before, Ads.
It’s not that big of a deal.”

I push him off me and
brush off his nearness with a laugh. Trying to play off that my heart
didn’t just stop.

“So how drunk are you
still?”

I do a quick measure of
everything. “Just a little buzz going on.”

I stare at my hands,
not knowing if I should get out of his more-than-welcoming bed and go
home.

Jax laughs. “Yeah, I
think you threw up everything on me and sobered up after that. It’s
pretty impressive how much you were able to get on me with one shot.”

I growl at him from
under my breath and say in a not-so-nice tone, “Oh shut up, you act
like you’ve never thrown up from drinking before.”

Jax, of course, won’t
let me live this down. That would be too nice of him.

“Of course I have.
I’ve never had the pleasure of throwing up on someone, though.
That, my dear, goes all to you.”

I stick out my tongue
at him.

“How’s the doctor?”
he asks with disdain.

I shake my head. “You
really want to talk about Kohen?”

He opens his mouth, a
witty comeback on the tip of his tongue I’m sure, but stops when I
challenge him with a raise of my eyebrow. His finger traces over my
frown lines, and then he shakes his head, as if to get rid of an
unpleasant memory.

“How was your first
week?” he asks to change the topic.

I give him a tight
smile and tell him everything. He seems mesmerized as I talk. I tell
him how the flowers are on my nightstand so they’re the first thing
I see in the morning. He tells me about a few business deals he’s
pursuing. It astounds me how intelligent Jax is. He should be,
though, he’s the only person I have ever met who has skipped a
grade in elementary school. I listen, just as mesmerized.

“I don’t know
exactly what to say other than I’m an ass. I know I don’t deserve
it after everything, but I want things to get back to normal between
us.”

I give him my first
real smile since I oh-so-kindly threw up on him. “I would love
that!”

I know he probably
means normal as in friends, but I secretly hope he means something
more. As soon as that thought flies through my head, I get pissed off
at myself. I need to let this stupid infatuation with him go. It was
a fling, nothing more. After chastising myself for a bit longer, I
relax against him again and enjoy our usual banter. I even open up
about therapy. He’s always been a great outlet to confide my
sessions with Liv.

Jax, being as blunt as
I am, lays into me. “You know she isn’t wrong, Ads. Olivia has a
point, if you’re able to do things like photography, you can handle
getting back into the water. You even went through your old stuff.”

He bumps his shoulder
into me, beaming proudly at me. I blush.

“It’s not that big
of a deal, Jax. It’s not like I went through everything. I just
knew what I wanted, where it was, and got it without looking at
anything else.”

“Don’t sell
yourself short.”

“Just telling it like
it is,” I say with a shrug.

He scratches the sexy
scruff on his jaw and watches me. His eyes widen as if the lightbulb
just went off inside his head. The God jumps out of bed and goes over
to his closet, which is so big it should be considered another room.
I mean, come on, how many suits can one man own? It’s pretty
impressive, actually. Jax emerges from the closet with the plum tie I
bought for his birthday last year. His sinful look makes me squirm.

“Now we’re
talking.” I whisper seductively.

His eyes darken and his
step falters. He shouldn’t be allowed to look at me like this, it’s
dangerous to my health. I open my mouth to say something that I know
will get me into trouble tomorrow, but all words evade me.

“Game?” He dangles
the tie in front of me and uses his husky bedroom voice that sends
tingles low in my belly.

My mouth falls open,
but I quickly recover. “To wear your tie?” I ask him, skeptical.

He holds his other hand
out to me, the one without the tie. I hesitate, wondering what he’s
up to, but I place my hand in his strong one, trusting him.

He takes me hesitance
as something it’s not because he leans in, brushes his lips against
my ear and whispers, “I dare you to trust me, Adalynn.”

I suppress a moan from
escaping, but it’s impossible to control the goosebumps. I just
hope he thinks they’re from the cold and not because of him. Jax
stares into my eyes and I get captivated into his dark green ones
that seem a little darker tonight. Everything floats away. Suddenly
it’s just a boy and a girl in their own little world, a place
without any pain, a place where they will always have each other. But
my vision goes dark and the boy and the girl are gone, the same as
that perfect world.

His fingertips trace my
cheek. I take a deep breath as reality crashes into me.

“It’s just another
blindfold, Ads. I’m here with you, nothing is going to happen that
you don’t want,” he says soothingly, relaxing me with his words.

I draw another deep
breath before I nod. How did girls’ night end up with me at Jax’s
place with his tie acting as a blindfold? His fingers glide over my
face once more. Slowly, painfully so, his fingers trail down my neck
to my shoulder blade, down my forearm, and finally to my hand. He
interlocks our fingers together. My breathing is erratic. Jax drives
me crazy with just the tips of his fingers, a whisper of a promise
that I want to hold onto. I hate the effect he has on me.

Giving my hand a gentle
squeeze, he pulls me along and I blindly follow him. He keeps a
strong hold of my hand, letting me know without words that he’ll
always be here. It makes being blindfolded much easier this time. I
know his place as well as mine so when we reach the foyer, I panic.

“Um, Jax, I’m not
going anywhere like this.” I plant my feet to the ground, unwilling
to move.

He rests both hands on
my shoulders and I know that he’s staring at me. “And like this,
you mean without shoes I’m guessing?”

Oh man, I forgot I’m
not wearing shoes. Not the first time I forgot something so vital
with this Adonis near. He’s going to make me say it, that jerk. I
square my shoulders.

“The tie,” I say
through gritted teeth.

Jax laughs as if I’m
the best comedian in New York. I wish I could see him right now
because I have no doubt that he is doubled over in laughter. He lifts
my hand to lead me along, but I keep my feet glued, not moving an
inch.

“Nobody will see you
at this time of night. Don’t worry, Ads. Now move your ass!” He
slaps my bottom hard.

I jump, startled from
the force of his slap. I rub my palm in circles over my now sore
butt. “That hurt!”

It didn’t, it
actually felt good . . . really good. Jax chuckles while he steers me
out of his place. The moment my feet touch the cold floor of the
elevator, I remember my lack of shoes.

“No shoes remember?”
I point down at my bare feet that I can’t see.

He slips his arm around
my shoulder. “You won’t need them.”

I pull away a little,
tilt my face up at him and give him a stern look. Well, as stern as I
can manage being blindfolded.

“I am so not walking
around barefoot!”

“You’re not
walking, I’m carrying you.”

That’s all the
warning I get before Jax lifts me over his shoulder at the same time
that the elevator doors open. I start to protest until Jax slaps my
ass again, harder this time. I moan into his ear and bite his back.

Holy-hotness, what does
this man do to me?

“You’re making a
scene,” he taunts but his voice betrays him.

He’s affected just as
much as I am. I only stop because I have to focus on not convulsing
on top of him as he marches on his merry way. I could care less about
a making a scene. Plus I highly doubt we’re making one at this time
of night.

“I had a completely
different scenario going on in my head when I saw the tie.”

He sucks in a ragged
breath and ignores me. I smile, I knew he would.

I open my mouth to ask
how much further, but close it when I realize how close our faces are
in this position. He squeezes me tighter to him, simultaneously
bringing my face dangerously close to his. Not good. The need to kiss
him grows so overpowering I have to bite the inside of my cheek.

“Someone needs to
learn patience.”

His voice sends tingles
down my body. My heart skips a beat before stopping all together. I
wish I could see his face right now. I would be able to read him a
lot better.

“How long have you
known me?” I ask.

“About sixteen years
now, give or take.”

“And in all of those
years, have you ever seen me be patient?” I ask in a serious tone.

Jax fights off his
laughter, but it’s hard to hide when his chest shaking from
suppressing it. “No, I guess you haven’t. Maybe you should start
working on that.”

I pinch the inside of
his arm. “Maybe in the—” All words escape me when I realize
where we are.

No, he wouldn’t do
this to me . . .

I will never forgive
him for this . . .

I hate him . . .

My entire body tenses,
my heart races into overdrive, and I start to sweat.
Don’t
panic, you could be wrong. He wouldn’t do this to you.
I
try to convince myself that I’m wrong about my whereabouts. With
each word I say in my head, I know I’m not able to fool myself.
Even without being able to see, my body recognizes where I am.

I hold my breath for as
long as possible to protect myself from inhaling the scent I know is
here. I count in my head, wondering the entire time how Jax could do
this to me, especially blindfolded. He’s done questionable things
in the past, but this is beyond fucked up, even for him.

I get to thirty when I
feel Jax move again. My body stiffens even more, but I still don’t
say anything. I refuse to breathe. Forty-one, forty-two, forty-three.
Jax is out of his mind. I need
to leave.
Fifty-five, fifty-six, fifty-seven.

My lungs hurt from lack
of oxygen. I know I don’t have much time until the inevitable
happens. I breathe in deeply, hating him with each lungful of air.

When I have my
breathing under control, Jax lowers me to the ground, keeping a hold
of me until he’s satisfied I won’t fall. More than done with this
blindfold, I start to untie it from around my head. Attempt is more
like it, since my hands shake so badly I can’t loosen the knot.