Beautifully Broken (22 page)

“Gray? Answer your phone.” I
mumbled as I rolled away from his warm embrace and the nonstop ringing.

“It’s not mine,” he growled.

I reached across him and
into the pocket of his jeans on the floor. I placed the cold metal against his
exposed skin, “Yes it is.”

“Holy shit, that is cold.
Hello?”

The bed slowly rose as he
jumped out of the bed pulling on his jeans. I watched him frantically search
for his shirt, amongst the pile of clothes. “Aunt Tina, slow down. Is she
alright?”

His voice was strained and I
could hear the panic rising with every word he spoke. “Gray, what’s wrong?” I
was up seconds later, dressing myself.

“It’s. Its. My. Mom.”

The words were barely
audible. A tear broke free from the corner of his eye, and was running down his
paled cheek. I ran to his side in only my bra and pants. “Gray, you’re scaring
me. What about your mom?”

“She. She...she died.” His
phone fell to the beige carpet before his body followed. He was slumped down on
his knees, head in his hands. “She’s gone Bennett.” His tears were unmistakable.
He looked exactly as he had when he found out about his father.

“What do you mean, she’s
dead?” I could barely get the words out of my mouth before I was crouched down
next to him. I wrapped my shaky arms around his neck and held tight. “What
happened?”

“My aunt said she found her
in her bed this morning, with no pulse. They rushed her to the hospital but she
had been dead for a couple of hours.” His sobs raked through his body.

Tears began to pool in my
eyes. I choked back the sob that was bubbling up inside of me. It was my turn
to be strong for him, and I wasn’t going to let him down this time. “Oh my God
Gray, I am so sorry.” I didn’t know what to say, not that there were any amount
of words that could comfort him. “What do we need to do? Do we need to go out
to New York?”

His hands gripped tighter
around my arm in response. “They are flying the body back here. She needs to be
buried with my dad.” He could barely get the words out before another wave of
tears began.

I reached out for his phone
to call Hannah. I knew she was most likely in her room, but I couldn’t leave
Gray alone. She answered tired and confused. I explained to her what happened
and asked if she could run out and grab us some essentials from Starbucks. I
knew Gray wouldn’t eat or drink anything, but I had to try.

Hannah tapped on the door
about a half hour later. I had gotten Gray off of the floor with some help from
Theo, and tried to make him as comfortable as possible on the bed. Her head
popped through the crack in the doorway with a sympathetic smile. I waved her
in and took the hot cup of coffee from her hand. I mouthed a ‘thank you’ and
she retreated out of the confines of my bedroom.

Gray’s head lay lifeless on
top of my chest, and his hands in a strangling hold around my waist. His tears
had since dissipated. I stroked his hair back with my hand in a soft soothing
motion. It was the only thing comforting enough to slow his radical breathing.
I sat motionless underneath him for three hours before I tried to talk to him.

“Gray?” I whispered his
name, not wanting to jolt him into another crying spell. “Gray? Honey? You need
to eat something.” I ran my hand across the top of his head before planting a
soft kiss to the top of his head.

“I can’t,” was all he
managed to croak out.

“I know Babe, but you can’t
stay like this
all
day.” When he slid his heavy frame off of the top of
me, I knew they were the wrong words to say. He rolled away from me, curling up
into a fetal position.

I let out a loud sigh,
knowing I was doing all the wrong things was killing me. “I’m sorry Gray, that
was insensitive of me. I meant you just need to keep your strength up, so you
can handle the next couple of days.” I rubbed circles into his back, letting
him know that I was still there.

“I think I need to go to
my
house.”
His voice was raspy with the lack of sustenance he was getting.

The look of shock plastered
itself on my face. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. He would rather be
alone, than have me be here for him. “Gray, are you sure you want to be alone
right now?” I could feel the tears welling up and it took all of my strength
not to let them spill over.

He scooted himself to the
end of the mattress and finished pulling on the rest of the clothing he had
forgotten, in the midst of his disconcerting news. “I’ll be fine.” With those
three little words he was fully clothed and rushing out of my house. I stood in
the doorway, praying he would change his mind and run back into my arms. I knew
he wasn’t, when his truck roared to life, his tires squealing their way down my
street as he drove out of sight. What had I done? My stomach was churning and I
felt as though I would be ill. I slowly backed away from the empty street,
closing the front door. I felt Hannah’s hand on my lower back and I turned into
her, letting the tears flow freely.

Hannah and I stayed home all
day. I didn’t want to chance leaving, not knowing if Gray would return. I tried
to busy myself with small inane chores, but my thoughts kept drifting back to
him. I had
finally
gotten Gray back in my life and then pushed him back
out in one swift move. My stupid mouth was always getting me into trouble. I
silently cursed myself as I finished up the dishes in the sink.

“He’ll be okay. It’s not
your fault.”

I know she meant for her
words to be of comfort, but they only made me feel worse. I nodded my head and
finished up the dishes. I was drying my hands off when I heard my phone ringing
from my room. I ran full speed almost smashing into the door, trying to get to
it before it stopped. I glanced at the screen not recognizing the number and my
heart dropped.

“Hello?” I was preparing
myself for the worst.

“Is this Bennett Reynolds?”
The small feminine voice asked.

“Yes. Who is this?” Please
God do not let this be a hospital or police officer, was all that ran through
my head.

“Hi dear, this is Gray’s
aunt Tina. I’m sorry to call you like this, but I can’t get a hold of Gray. Do
you know where he might be sweetie?”

Her voice was angelic and
soothing. I sat on the edge of my bed breathing a sigh of relief. “He’s not
dealing with the “situation” very well. He actually went home hours ago. I
haven’t heard from him since.” I braced myself in anticipation of her
reprimanding. She just let out a small sigh.

“I figured as much. I just got
into town with, with my sister, I’m not sure what to do next.” A sob escaped
her throat and I tried to comfort her the best I could through the phone.

“Tine, I’m so sorry for your
loss. I’m not sure how I can help exactly, but I will help with whatever I can.
Do you need someone to come pick you up?”

“Yes, please. I need to get
her to the funeral home and make the arrangements.”

Before she could protest, I
was telling her to stay put while I came to pick her up. I hung up the phone
and explained the situation to Hannah. She kindly came with me for moral
support, and I was thankful to have her. Reagan had been a second mother to me
and it was killing me, to know I would never get to right the situation with
her that I had wronged. Hannah called for a hearse to meet us outside of the
gates at the airport. Once Reagan’s body was securely inside, we followed her
to the funeral home. Gray’s aunt sat in the backseat, as quiet as a mouse. Not
that I expected her to engage us in conversation, but she was quiet
nonetheless. When we had first pulled up to the airport, I had to do a double
take. Gray had told me about his only aunt, once before. The similarities
between her and her sister were uncanny. They could have been twins.

Tine kept her hair a few
inches longer than Reagan, but every other attribute was the same. From the
shape and color of their eyes, right down the shape and contour of their
bodies. She was just as beautiful and put together.

Panic creped up through my
body as we pulled into the parking lot of the funeral home. I was having déjà
vu, and not in a good way. My heart felt empty and craved the comfort of my mom
and dad. This place held so many heart-breaking memories; ones that made me
want to fall back to the car. I kept my strides slow and deliberate. I sucked
in a deep breath as we entered through the ornate front doors.

The pungent odor clung to
the dingy white walls, trapping in the scent. I gripped Hannah’s hand as tight
as my muscles would allow. We weaved through the caskets, making our way
towards the back. The office was decorated in all black, fitting for a funeral
home I suppose. A short pudgy, balding older gentleman stood from behind his
black lacquer desk to greet us. Gray’s Aunt sorrowfully returned the greeting.
I on the other hand, couldn’t find the strength in me to pry my hands from
Hannah’s to do so. He introduced himself to all of us, but I was caught in my
own horrid nightmare to even notice what he said his name was.

His short plump fingers
pointed for us to sit in the chairs in front of him, as he lowered himself into
his own seat. My eyes surveyed our surroundings as he began to speak to Tina. I
anxiously tried to make the white wicker chair more comfortable, but to no
avail. Hannah looked between our two hands that were still intertwined, giving
me an empathetic grin. The corner of my mouth tried to pull up into a smile,
but I was more than uncomfortable. I squeezed Hannah’s hand tighter and she
rubbed the back of my palm, trying to alleviate the tension. I was so thankful
to have such an amazing friend.

I glanced over in the
direction of the man speaking, but found myself not being able to listen. I
took in his appearance with relief. His voice was comforting and supportive,
matching the look in his caramel colored eyes. He wore an old gray twill suit,
which had to be at least two sizes too big. His skin was pale, and aged beyond
his years.

I wasn’t exactly sure of his
age, but if his looks were any indication, I would say in his late sixties at
least. My eyes continued to wander before stopping on a small picture next to
his file cabinet. It was of a beautiful young couple holding a newborn baby.
The distinct features of the young man in the picture, lead me to believe it
was his son. A smile tugged at my lips, as I envisioned a similar picture of
Gray and myself with our children one day.

An hour later we had picked
out the coffin, flowers and planned who would give the eulogy. My heart was
breaking thinking of Gray not being involved. I knew what his being involved
would entail, and I sighed knowing that he just needed some time. I helped
Tina’s crying body back out to the car, and we headed to my house. Tina had
mentioned she had nowhere to stay, so I offered up our spare bedroom. I made
sure to okay it with Hannah before mentioning it to Gray’s Aunt. I knew she
would be okay with it, but I didn’t want to push it on her.

I checked my phone
repeatedly as we inched closer to the house. There was still no word from Gray,
and I was starting get extremely worried. Hannah and I helped Tina into the
house and got her settled, before I tried calling Gray again. As soon as his
voicemail picked up, I decided it was best to go looking for him. The only
problem was, I had no idea where he lived.

I made my way into the
kitchen, finding Tina and Hannah making some tea. “Um, Tina? Do you happen to
know where Gray lives?” She gave me a confused look before answering.

“Sweetie, he bought his
parent’s old house. You didn’t know that?”

My words caught in my
throat, “No…no I didn’t know.” I hung my head in sadness. How had we gotten to
this point? “I will be back in about an hour. Will you guys be okay for a bit?”

Hannah and Gray’s Aunt
nodded their heads in unison as I headed towards the front door. It took me
longer than expected to get to Gray’s house. The traffic was ridiculously slow
with people headed home from work. When I pulled onto my old street, I could
feel the tears welling up behind my eyes. I hadn’t been back to the old
neighborhood since I had moved. My adrenaline spiked, when I caught sight of
Gray’s truck parked in his driveway. So many emotions were flowing through my
mind, it was hard to concentrate on the reason I came here in the first place.