Beautiful Lies (29 page)

I nod my head over and over again. “Ok, come on, I need to get you up. Do you think you can stand?”

“Yes.”

I grab a hold of her and pull her up to her feet and that’s when I notice the blood on her head as well. She must have hit it when she fell. I try not to panic even more. Suddenly she screams in pain, and a feeling in my stomach feels like it is crushing every vital organ. My mind is racing and my hands are sweating. I’m trying to move fast but it doesn’t feel fast enough. I feel like everything is moving in slow motion and I’m desperately willing it to move faster.

“It’s ok, I’ve got you,” I pull her up, throwing her arm around my neck. “Babe, I need you to hold on as tight as you can so we can try and walk to the car, ok?”

She nods.

“Ok.” I say more for my own benefit than hers.

We start taking slow, careful steps, but I can sense that she is in too much pain. I stop. I pick her up in my arms, bridal style, and start moving with speed. Her head rests against my shoulder and I can hear her whimpering. The elevator ride seems to go on forever and I let out a long breath when the doors finally open. I try to stay focused and somehow I manage to unlock the door to the car and get her inside without even thinking. I lay her on the back seat of my car and wrap the seatbelt around her. I stop for a second and look at her.

“Are you ok?”

“Yes, just hurry,” she breathes. I nod, in a daze.

We drive mostly in silence with the exception of her groaning in pain. I know that it hurts her more than she is letting on but she is masking it for my benefit. I turn my head to look at her every few seconds. There’s more blood than before, I put my foot down on the gas. The journey seems like it is taking forever and I’m angry--at what, I don’t know, but I’m mad. Every question seems to find its way into my mind.

Why didn’t you phone her? What if you had come home earlier? What if you had never gone in the first place?

The tirade of questions is interrupted by a guttural scream. I feel sick at the sound of it. I whip my head around and search Marie with my eyes.

“Oh gosh, it hurts so much. I think she’s dying. My baby is dying,” she is crying uncontrollably and so am I.

I’m trying to drive and comfort her at the same time.

“No, she’s going to be ok, I promise you. I won’t let anything happen. I just need you to be strong for me. Can you do that, baby?”

“I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. I need you to trust me. Can you do that, can you trust me?”

“Yes,” she breathes.

The car is hot even though the heating isn’t on. I’m sweating. I wipe my brow and glance back at Marie. Her eyes are closed. She looks like she is drifting in and out of consciousness. I look up at her head and I’m pretty sure that there is more blood than before. I could be wrong; maybe the two beers that I drank are making me see things. Either way I still panic and drive faster.

“Stay with me, baby.”

I swing my head back around and that’s when my eyes lock with hers: dark brown hair and even darker eyes. She looks petrified. She looks so innocent, so afraid. Our eyes meet. My foot shifts to the brake as fast as I can but it’s too late. I hit her. She’s lying on the ground, a puddle of death. I feel sick. My heartbeat is so fast and loud, I can hear it beating in my ears.

Time Freezes.

Suddenly I feel numb.

Everything goes silent.

I struggle to breathe.

“Paige!” The spell is broken. I look up and see a man running toward her lifeless body. I just stare and I feel dead. “Wake up, baby! Wake up!” He is knelt on the floor next to her, screaming.

I cut the engine and step out of the car in shock. I stumble closer to where they are crouched on the ground. I want to throw up. I stare down at the scene before me and I don’t know what to do. “What have you done?!” He screams, looking up at me. I’m silent. I can’t find the words that I need to say to him. I feel my body shaking. I look from him to her and I don’t know what to do.

“Taylor!” Her scream breaks through everything. “Taylor! Oh gosh, Taylor, I need you!”

Marie. I forgot.

I turn and look on the back seat.
More blood
. She’s bleeding heavily. I look from Marie to the girl on the floor.
Paige.
That’s what he called her. It’s wrong...it’s inhumane...it’s disgusting, but it comes down to a choice. And I choose Marie and my baby. Not out of selfishness but out of love. I turn and look down at the man on the floor. He swings around and he sees me about to get back into the driver’s seat.

“Hey! You can’t just leave; look at what you’ve done.”

I’m silent. I swing my head back to Marie, she is covered in blood. He stands still for a moment as his eyes fall on her, splayed across the backseat. I see him scanning her pregnant belly and his expression changes. I see a look of shock come over his face.

“She’s pregnant?” He questions. I nod sadly. “What happened to her?” He asks.

“She fell down the stairs. She’s bleeding...I need to get help,” I say through my own tears. “I didn’t see her step out into the road,” I whisper, gesturing toward
Paige’s
lifeless body. His face is flooded with tears and I feel as though I am looking in a mirror of pain. We are both trying so badly to fight for what we love. He looks at Marie again and then back at
Paige
lying on the ground. He closes his eyes for a moment and then he slowly looks back at me and nods his head.

“Go.”

“What?”

“I said go,” he says angrily. “Now, before someone sees you.”

“I don’t understand...”

“She needs help,” he says sadly as he glances at Marie. “Get her to a hospital now and make sure we never see you again.”

I don’t move. I’m frozen. I’m in shock. My eyes flit down to her lifeless body again.
Paige.
She looks dead and I feel sick.
I killed her. Murderer.
The word flashes through my brain painfully. Tears roll down my cheeks and I can’t stop them. How can he let me go after what I’ve done? I was going to leave
Paige
to save Marie, and yet he is letting me get away with what I have done.
What have I done?

“Go, before I change my mind. At least save one of them.” He says with more force.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I’m so sorry...forgive me.” Then I start up the engine and I drive to the hospital to save what’s left of my life.

* * *

I pace the hospital corridor and time seems to stretch on forever. My palms are sweaty and I feel sick. I can’t sit down, I can’t eat...I can’t keep still. Then he steps out of the room and calls my name.

I see the expression on his face and I just know. It’s almost like we can both speak the same silent language and
I know
.

“No,” I gasp. I never even got to hold her in my arms and feel her breathe. She never even saw my face or knew how much I loved her.
My little girl
. I shake my head. Marie is going to be devastated. She’s going to blame herself. I need to see her. I need to tell her that this isn’t her fault, that we can get through this together. Everything is going to be ok. “I need to talk to, Marie. She needs me,” I tell him, trying to walk past. He places his hand on my arm gently and looks down at the ground.

“Mr. Black...I am so sorry. They didn't make it.”

“They?” Suddenly I am more alert. “What do you mean
they
?”

“There were complications. The knock that Ms Matthews took to her head caused a lot of damage. We did everything that we could but she lost too much blood.”

“No,” I can’t breathe. I feel dizzy. The room starts spinning. I feel the doctor steadying me with his hand, as he helps lower me onto a chair.

“Water, please,” he calls out to someone. I don’t look up.

I place my head in my hands and I just try to breathe.

They’re dead.

The words just keep repeating in my head. They haunt me. Tears don’t come but the pain in my heart is excruciating.

Then I remember her...
Paige.
The girl with the beautiful face. The way that she looked at me just before I crashed into her. Then I remember how I left her lying dead on the ground to save
them.
I couldn’t save any of them. I failed. I messed up and I couldn’t turn back the hands of time.

I did this. This is my fault. I killed them...

Marie.

My baby

And...Paige...

I killed them all...and I’ll live with that for the rest of my life...

CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE

PAIGE’S STORY

B
y the end of the story he is crying. So am I. I look over at him. I cannot speak, I cannot move.
I remember
. I remember everything. I remember seeing his face that night. The pain in his eyes just before he hit me. Rick screaming my name, the impact of the car sending me through the air. I remember making myself think about how beautiful Taylor’s face was so that I wouldn’t focus on the pain. I didn’t want to think about anything else that was happening because it was so painful. I can remember the sound my body made as it hit the ground. I thought that I was dead. I lay on the ground, lifeless. I asked God if I was still alive. I was. I knew I was. I recall trying to open my eyes to tell Rick that I was ok, that I was still alive, that I could hear him. Then I remember
her
voice.
Marie’s.
I didn’t know her name then or who she was. Her voice pierced through my heart. It was the only thing that I could actually
feel.
I wanted to get up and help her. She sounded like death and I wanted to save her but I couldn’t move. She screamed his name and it repeated in my mind like a lullaby.
Taylor. Taylor. Taylor.
Until I finally drifted into a deep sleep, with his face and the word Taylor as the last things on my mind.
I remember.

I tried to forget the pain by replacing it with happiness.
I
did this.
The dreams were my fault.
I created this world with him, without knowing. He was my safe place. He still is. I gasp as though I had just been drowning, and turn to face him.

His head is in his hands and he is actually sobbing. My heart feels a pain that it has never experienced before. It is like it is slowly being sliced in half with a sharp sword. Experiencing pain is one thing, but witnessing the pain of someone you love is like no other. I understand.
I forgive him.

I don’t think about what I am doing. I don’t care. I climb out of my seat and into his. I straddle his lap and lift his face with my hands. He tries to cover it as if he is a monster. I shake my head.

“It’s ok,” I whisper. “I remember.” He looks at me in shock, as if my reaction should be different. “It’s ok,” I repeat.

He watches me as though I am not real and then in an instant he wraps his arms around me. He is holding me so tight that I’m surprised I don’t snap. But I don’t feel the pain. Not mine anyway. He clutches onto me like a child. His head is buried in the crook of my neck and his tears are soaking me. I don’t care. My hands curl around his back and I just hold him. I let him cry, I let him
feel
...I let him be.

I don’t say a word. We rock in the silence of the car. I notice that the windows are steamy and the car is hot, but none of that matters. Nothing matters but this moment right here with Taylor. All I want to do is take away his pain and I don’t know how. He stops crying at a point but he is shaking so I hold him tighter. I lift his face so that he can see me. Then I kiss his tears. Slowly, I let my lips connect with his cheek. He stares at me in confusion but I ignore it. Then I kiss the other cheek. He stares at me.

“I love you,” I whisper.

He remains silent as if he doesn’t believe my words.

“But what I did...”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“I left you to die,” he says, shaking his head.

“No. I had Rick. I understand.”

“But I chose them over you.”

“That was then. You didn’t even know me. And you
chose
to tell me everything now. You trusted me with that.” I stroke his face gently with my hand. “I’m so sorry that happened to you, Taylor. But what you have become shows how strong you truly are. To make it through, even after all of that.”

“Sometimes I didn’t want to make it through. I didn’t understand why it was them and not me.”

“But you did make it through. It hurts but God wasn’t ready for you then. He had something else for you. He gave you
me
. We never would have found each other any other way.”

“I know,” he whispers. “I love you, Paige. I thought you were dead for so long.”

“But I wasn’t. I’m here...with you.”

“You’re amazing,” he whispers before lifting his lips to mine. The kiss is slow and full of emotion. His kiss is speaking to me in a language that words could never communicate; a private link from his heart to mine. I understand it, clearly. We’re speaking love. Love that forgives, love that overcomes and love that conquers all.