Beautiful Broken Mess (10 page)

“Jax never mentioned me before I came up here last year, did he?”

“No…” she says with a worried face.

I hurry to reassure her. “That’s because Jax and I didn’t mean much to each other. We came to an agreement and we had fun. Things got all screwed up, but that’s it. There never was anything significant going on there.”

“I guess I can understand that. I think I just assumed since you guys were dating, that if you broke up, it would be heart breaking. I’ve only ever had one relationship and I know I’d be devastated to lose him.”

“But it wasn’t ever like that with us. Plus, we were in high school. We were both young and stupid.” I sigh at the memories and then change the subject, “Can I ask you to not tell anyone that I’m working here with you? Not Jax or Jace… I know they’ll eventually find out, but I’m just not ready. The first thing they’ll think is that I did this on purpose.”

“I can’t lie to Jaxon, but unless he specifically asks, I won’t tell.” She makes a criss-cross motion over her chest and I feel a bond forming with her.

“My parents hated me. Well, I’m sure they still hate me,” I say in a quiet voice, answering her earlier question. “They never wanted a kid, but it ended up benefitting them money-wise to keep me around. My mom was rarely home before she eventually ran off for good, but my dad… he was… violent.”

Em sucks in a quick breath and then apologizes for her reaction, “I’m sorry, go on.”

“Well, there’s not much more to it. For as long as I can remember, I was hiding bruises and cuts. Dating Jaxon was nice, only because I had a place to hide out from my house. I worked a lot too, so I spent most of my time either at the restaurant or with him. Honestly though, I would have chosen anything over being at home. I never had any friends because I didn’t want them asking questions. Jax was pretty self-involved back then, so he never noticed anything.”

“He never asked about your bruises?” she huffs out in frustration. When I shake my head back and forth, she says, “Jerk.”

That makes me laugh. “He was in high school, a teenager going through his own losses.” I start to wonder why I’m defending him. “Clearly he’s changed though.”

“That doesn’t excuse his behavior,” she replies. Is she sticking up for me? In another beat, she smiles and says, “Hey, next Saturday there’s a bonfire on the beach and lots of new people for you to meet. You should go with me.”

My mouth drops open in shock that she’s asking me to hang out with her. When I recover, I say, “I don’t know. Last time I was around your group, it was clear that I wasn’t welcome.”

“Well, since I’m the one inviting you, then you’re welcome in my book. And that reminds me, you still need to tell me about that trip last year. Jaxon and I were dealing with our own drama, so I didn’t really know what was going on.”

“Hey girls,” Mark interrupts us from the front doors, extending his arm to keep his cigarette on the outside. “Let me walk you out. There’s a big dude out here just standing by his car and I don’t like it.”

“Black SUV? Sandy brown hair and way over six feet tall?” I call back.

“Yup. He’s not stalking you or anything, is he?” I can tell Mark’s hackles are up and I’m surprised by his protectiveness, especially considering we just met.

I hop down from the bar stool and Em follows behind. When I reach the door, I stick my head out and holler, “Get over here, Lane, you’re making the bouncer edgy.” I turn back to Mark. “Thanks, but that’s my roommate. You don’t have to worry about him.”

As Lane strides across the parking lot, everyone watches. It’s hard to not stare at Lane, I’ll admit.

“Shut. Up. He’s yours?” Em says through an awed whisper.

“Well, he’s mine in the way a sister claims a brother, even though we aren’t blood-related.”

“No way, girl. If you’re single, you cannot let
that
go to waste.”

I nudge her with my elbow. “Em, you’re taken, remember?”

“I’m still allowed to appreciate God’s work,” she giggles. “And damn, God was in a good mood the day he made that man.”

“You’re ridiculous,” I laugh as Lane approaches. I introduce him to my new co-workers. Em and I walk back to get our purses and then return to the front.

“If we’re ever working together, I can give you a ride home,” she offers.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” I cringe at the drama of it all.

She halts in her steps. “Because, I’m starting to think that there was some kind of huge misunderstanding and I want to know the truth. You and I seem to click well and we’re going to be working together.” She shrugs as if it’s a no-brainer. “So about that party next weekend?”

“I’ll think about it.”

“That’s all I’m asking. We work together a bunch this week. I’ll convince you by then,” she says confidently.

I laugh at her boldness. “Alright. Well, thanks Em. I’ll see you later.”

Lane eyes me curiously as we walk arm-in-arm to his car, and I know he’s about to bombard me with questions.

- Five -

JACE -

With my shirt draped over my shoulder, I walk into the kitchen to grab water from the fridge. “You guys going to that bonfire thing Saturday night?” I ask Jaxon and Em, who are lounging on the couch.

“Yeah, Cole and I are going right after we get out of practice. You gonna take the girls?” Jax asks with his arm tucked under Em.

“If they need me to, I will. Otherwise I’ll see you guys there.” I chug my water and pull my shirt off my shoulder.

“Where you goin’ tonight?” Jax questions. “It’s Thursday.”

“I’m hitting up that country bar with some friends from class. You know, it’s okay to go out on a school night… we’re not twelve anymore,” I chide.

“I bet those Pre-med guys can really let loose,” he laughs.

“Yeah… something like that,” I retort.

Em sits straight up. “Jace, when did you get a bunch of new tattoos?” she asks, sounding surprised.

“He’s been filling up on those all summer, babe,” Jax answers her. I shrug my shoulder while pulling the black t-shirt over my head.

Her bottom lip pouts out and I ask, “What’s wrong?”

“You’re not identical anymore.”

“It’s about damn time,” I exclaim. That was probably a dick thing to say, but I’m so damn tired of getting confused for my brother. This summer I went a little crazy with the ink. It was a blast. Everything about Jax and I is identical. We have the same build, same height, same hair, and the same eye color. We even have the same damn teeth. Our voices differ, but not many notice. Lately, I’ve been having some kind of identity crisis and have been craving to mark myself apart from him.

The jarring tone of OneRepublic’s “Apologize” blares from a cell phone and startles all three of us. Em snatches it up from the coffee table and heads for the door.

“I have to take this. I’ll just be next door.” She points toward her apartment and walks out.

I give Jax a puzzled look and he asks, “So it’s not just me that thinks that was bizarre?”

“It
was
bizarre, but Em is weird like that sometimes.” I try to shrug it off because, knowing my brother, he’s brooding over who’s on the other end of that call.

“No, she’s been doing that shit all week. Who the hell do you think she’s talking to? You haven’t seen her with any guys, have you?” he begins to ramble.

“No, calm down, crazy,” I sigh. “If you don’t trust her, you should probably talk to her.”

“You’re right, I’m going fucking crazy. I do trust her, but...what if she’s just done with this whole relationship thing?” As he starts to overthink his words, his face changes to a sickly pale color. As per usual, I get a sinking feeling deep in my gut when Jax feels sick. My mom always calls it our twin bond; it’s freaky shit is what it is.

Before I can tell him that people don’t usually up and decide to be done with the person they love, Em walks back in the door. She no longer has her phone, so she must have left it at her place. I see Jaxon staring at her empty hand, and I know this is not lost on him.

With a big grin, she jumps on top of him. Em sure as hell doesn’t look like a chick that’s done to me. When she lands in his lap, her hands automatically graze up his chest. Then she pulls back when she sees his face.

“Are you sick, babe?” she asks, concerned. “I’m
really
hoping you’re not, because I thought we had plans tonight.” She leans in close to his ear. Now I feel like I’m interrupting.

He stands up with her legs wrapped around his waist and holds onto each side of her face. “You’re mine, right?”

“Considering I got this, I damn well better be.” I watch as she points to the inside of her right palm.

Shortly after returning from her internship in Africa, Emerson had the word “Mine” in Jax’s handwriting tattooed on her palm. He had the same thing tattooed on his chest, except the mirror image. I don’t fully understand it, and it seems really fucking corny, but I can’t say I’m not envious of what they have together.

I leave the room before their show becomes unsuitable for all audiences. They often forget where they are and who else is around. I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve had to ask Em to try and not take off my brother’s pants while I’m still in the damn room. Quinn and Cole aren’t any better. Being the fifth wheel really fucking blows.

I was hoping to use this time to talk to Jaxon about certain issues that have been weighing heavily on me, but I guess that’s not happening again tonight. I make my way to Cole’s room, so I can try and unload some of this shit before heading out.

I know they don’t mean to, but it’s really taken a beating on me to have to squeeze in time to talk to my own friends lately. I shouldn’t have to fucking schedule appointments with them. Whatever happened to ‘bros before hoes’? Not that Quinn and Em are hoes. Well, Quinn never was and Em’s not anymore.

I knock twice and hear Cole’s deep voice call out, “What’s up?”

“Everyone decent?” I ask, covering my eyes and pushing the door open.

“Get in here, douchebag,” he replies.

Cole and Quinn are lounging on his bed. She’s reading a book and he’s typing away on his laptop. It’s so… simple. I never thought I’d see the day that Cole West would be in for the night before two a.m., let alone nine p.m.

“Is the doctor available?” I ask, in reference to an old joke.

“Uh-oh, what’s up man?” Cole responds and immediately and sets his laptop aside.

“The doctor?” Quinn asks, confusion written all over her face.

“Cole used to be our therapist, I guess. We called him ‘Doc’ because he was the guy to go to with problems.”

“Yeah, he is great like that.” She stares up at him dreamily. Freaking nauseating. “When can I be a patient?” she whispers while rolling closer to him. That’s my cue to leave. Yet again. I turn on my heel and grab for the doorknob.

“Stop, man,” Cole says with a laugh. “We’re just messing around.”

“Nah, I’m so sick of this shit. I can’t ever say two words to you or Jax anymore without interrupting some kind of love fest.” I’m ranting like a pussy now.

“Aw, I’m sorry, Jace.” Quinn pats the bed next to her and I park my pathetic sorry-ass down. “I can leave if you guys want to talk.”

“No, I don’t care if you’re here. I just need one conversation where someone isn’t down someone else’s throat.”

“Deal,” she says. “Give them a break though,” she says, pointing to the door. “She just got back, so they’re in the honeymoon phase again.”

“I know, I know.” I hold my hands up in surrender. “That’s why I haven’t blown a fuse in front of them yet.”

“What’s up, son?” Cole smarts off again. I stare at him, not saying a word. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I’m done fucking with you, for real this time.”

“I dropped Pre-med.” With Cole, it’s best to get straight to the point. He doesn’t have the attention span for beating around the bush.

Quinn’s mouth drops open and Cole looks equally stunned. “Uh… what? You dropped out of school? It’s your senior fucking year, man. You couldn’t go one more year?” he scolds.

“I didn’t say I dropped out of school. I said I dropped Pre-med.”

“What the hell else are you going to do now? Changing your major this late in the game is not going to be easy.”

“I’ve been double-majoring.”

Another set of stunned faces.

“I never wanted to be a doctor. Okay… well, I did once when I was sixteen and my dad and Jax stuck to the idea like glue. When Pops died, I just felt it was… right, you know?”

“What’s your alternate major?” Quinn encourages me to continue.

“Finance and Business Economics. Business, basically,” I reply with a shrug. “Okay guys, seriously. The stunned faces don’t fucking help.”

“Go on… tell me the reasoning behind all of this,” Cole requests.

“Look, I always saw myself taking over my dad’s business one day. I used to talk about it all the time with him. Then I spoke of being a doctor for like a week, and he acted like I walked on water for something I hadn’t even accomplished. Jax later took over that notion for him. I hear the way he talks about me to people, like I’m going to cure cancer.”