Bear-ly Human (Bear Claw Security Book 4) (7 page)

T
hat night after dinner
, Hercules paced in the hall as the others went back to their rooms.

As he’d thought, his jealousy hadn’t abated during dinner. If anything, it had gotten worse, seeing Bentley send lewd glances at Hera, as if Hercules wasn’t there at all.

He didn’t want to be John the banker.

He wanted to be Herc the merc, ready to blow apart anyone who messed with him.

All the calmness he’d tried to foster, all the sensible things he’d told himself while preparing for his mission were melting away like so much sea foam.

He wanted Hera. He didn’t want anyone to have her.

In the years since they’d broken up, he’d told himself it was for the best. That she could do better. That it was fine if he stayed alone. That was normal.

But he’d forgotten how different it was when she was near. How she made him hope for impossible things.

How she made him feel whole and human in a way nothing else did.

How much his bear wanted her.

For the first time in a long time, he felt his animal nearly tearing out of him. Trying to talk some sense in him. Trying to get him to be with his mate.

He put his hands up and rubbed his temples as he paced down the hallway, trying to decide between doing the sensible thing and going back up to his room or going down the hall to Hera’s.

Seeing her around other men seemed to cement it. She was his.

Perhaps this whole thing was fate. Had he really thought he could stay away from her forever? If she hadn’t shown up at Bear Claw Security, would he really have been able to resist looking her up at some point?

He didn’t know. The past few years had been a blur of trying to find himself, of trying to find a way to live that didn’t involve either the military or Hera herself.

It had been hard.

But that was nothing compared to knowing she was just down the hall, ready and waiting for him, and all he had to risk was their hearts again.

But as much as he wanted to resist, he knew he couldn’t. He wasn’t strong enough. The bear in him wasn’t noble enough. It knew only one thing; it wanted its mate, and even if the human it shared a form with was too broken to make things happen the way they should, the bear wanted to be with the one it loved.

The one it knew was for him.

He strode down the hall and turned down a hallway to a darkened corridor. There was a light on at the end of the hallway, and he knew it was Hera’s door. He came to stand in front of it and raised a hand.

He didn’t even have a chance to knock before she opened it, smelling and looking amazing.

Like she’d planned this all along.

He walked into the bedroom, which was a lot lacier than he would have expected. The carpet was mauve and the walls were white. There was antique decor all around. The bed had silver upholstery.

“I don’t spend a lot of time in here,” she said. “So I kept it how it was when I was growing up. I love all the old rooms in this house.”

He smiled and walked over to sit on the bed and look out her window. It overlooked the forest on the west side of the property. “It has a charm. Especially with you in it.”

“Look at you, being all romantic,” she said, straddling him and sending tingles up his spine. He put his arms around her and just held her there.

A crack of thunder sounded outside, and then rain began to fall. He looked into her eyes for a quiet moment.

“Are you sure?” she asked. “I know I’m pushing you.”

“I need to be pushed.” He reached up to pull at the strap of the silky negligee she wore.

It was so odd coming back to a past lover. It felt like slipping on a much-loved garment, comfortable and warm all at the same time. But it was exciting because he wondered how things would be changed. How her body would look and feel now, naked.

He pulled one strap over her shoulder and caressed the creamy flesh there.

“Hercules,” she murmured. “I missed you.”

He pressed his lips to her shoulder. “I missed you, too. So much.”

“Stay with me tonight?” she asked.

“Of course,” he said. “I’ll stay as long as I can.”

Her nails tightened around him. “But you still won’t stay forever.”

“We’re still at an impasse there, I’m afraid.”

She put a hand on his hair and then stroked the side of his face. “With everything we’ve been through, why are you still hiding? You know I couldn’t hate anything about you.” She took his hand and put it over her heart.

They used to do that in bed sometimes. Just to feel each other’s heartbeat.

She’d hold his hand there and say, “Look what you’ve done to me.” And he would wonder at the truth of it.

“It’s been so long,” he said. “It’s like I’ve known you forever. And like I don’t know you at all.”

He ran a hand over the curve of her waist, and she squirmed. “Stop grabbing my fat,” she said.

He laughed and grabbed harder, loving the feel of it. “I love how you’ve filled out. You’re even more beautiful, if that’s possible.”

She muttered something at that, and he just laughed again.

“Or maybe it’s just I’ve been seeing you in my dreams so long I forgot how beautiful you were in person.”

She sighed as he nipped at her skin. “This is a quick turnaround, you know,” she said. “This morning you were still insisting you could hook me up with someone else.”

“I’m stupid,” he said. “A part of me still wants to do the noble thing. Nothing about what we’re doing now makes sense.”

She put a hand over his heart. She’d be able to feel just how hard it thudded. “It makes sense to our animals, though,” she said. “It always did.”

That was true. “Bentley is some kind of asshole.” He nipped along her shoulder. “I don’t know why your dad invited him.”

She grinned. “Maybe to make the others look better?”

He grimaced. “Ugh. Not Adam. Don’t even know what’s going on in his head.”

“Me neither,” she said, letting him kiss down her arm, reaching her sensitive elbow. He loved the way she shivered. He loved how they tended to talk in bed about random things. “What do you think about Dean?”

“I don’t know what to think,” he said, removing his lips momentarily to look into her eyes. “He seems like a nice man.” He frowned down at her lips. “But I’m not a nice man. And I don’t want you to be with him either.” He covered her lips with his, stifling her moan, swallowing her pleasure, making it part of him as her arms wound around him, bringing him home.

“Why did we even fight?” she asked.

“Because you couldn’t let my past go,” he said, nipping her ear. “Because you had to know if I was suitable.”

“No,” she said. “I just wanted to know why you were holding back from me, if you meant for us to be together.”

“I didn’t know if we would be together,” he said.

She took a quick intake of breath and started to pull back, but he put a hand on her back to steady her.

“But I always knew you’d be it for me. The only one I’d love,” he said.

She sighed. “That’s sad. That you’d just give up on that.”

“I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t come. It took time for me to start living again, after my work in the Special Forces was done. I buried myself in work after we broke up. When it ended, I was doubly lost.”

“What did you do before the military?” she asked.

He frowned down at her. “I thought you weren’t going to pry this time.”

She sighed. “I can’t help it. I want to know everything about you. But fine. Don’t tell me.”

“Not much to tell,” he said, licking down her neck to her delicate collarbone. She shuddered, and her fragrance filled the air, delicious and sweet and floral. He wanted to bathe in it, be wrapped in it until the air was nothing but
her.
“There’s nothing like you, Hera,” he said. “No one in the world that is anything like you. That makes me feel the way you do.”

“How so?” she gasped out as his hand played over her full breast, making her body quiver.

“You’ve been slowly turning me inside out ever since you showed up at the office. Did you know I actually picked out the clothes myself? I wanted to impress you. Dammit, even as I’ve been trying to do the right thing and push you away, I can’t help it.” He nuzzled her neck. “I want to be close to you.”

“Then be close to me,” she said. “Be close and never leave me.”

Images of everything they’d shared flooded through him, leaving a bittersweet tinge. He didn’t know what to think anymore. He just knew right now, straddling him, looking down at him with those commanding blue eyes, her soft thighs encompassing him, she owned him completely.

“What do you want from me?” he asked raggedly, pushing his hair back over his shoulder. “I don’t know what you want.”

She ran a hand down his chest, feeling every ridge. “For now, I just want you. I just want to have what we had. I just want to feel you. We can work out the rest later.”

“That’s what we thought the first time together, and we went down in flames,” he muttered.

“Better flames than an ice storm,” she said, kissing him and pushing him back onto the bed at the same time. She undid the buttons of his shirt, baring his chest to her. He shrugged out of the shirt and felt the last of his resistance break into a thousand pieces.

He’d been miserable without her. A part of him had been totally dead. It was waking up now.

And maybe, just maybe, a part of him thought as he kissed the woman he loved, he could finally let someone accept who he was.

If there was anyone it could happen with, it had to be her.

But the thought was as far off as a star.

He moved back fully onto the bed with her, let her straddle him as her silky negligee fell over one shoulder. He raised one hand and lifted it off of her, baring her gorgeous breasts. She arched back, and he felt the silk of her thighs and her panties as she came fully against him.

This was madness, impulsive.

It was also completely inevitable as far as he and Hera were concerned.

He reached for her neck and pulled her down for another kiss, harder this time. Every time their lips pulled apart and then came back together, the passion grew, feelings surged. It was so much more powerful than he’d even imagined. It woke things in him that had been sleeping for years. It made him feel like a man again. Whole, complete. Loved.

Was it really possible she could still love him, after everything that had happened?

He stroked her cheek and studied her face as she arched back, enjoying the feel of being on top of him.

This was his Hera, wild in the moonlight. She reached for the zipper of his pants and pulled it down. Then he helped her kick them off. She then got rid of his boxer briefs, leaving nothing between them.

She looked down at him, owning him like the queen she was, and without much hesitation, she lifted herself as if to settle herself over him.

As much as he wanted nothing more than to feel her against him, he put up a hand to stop her.

He gasped and adjusted himself. “Wait,” he said. “Condom.”

She blinked in surprise and then pulled one from her robe pocket. “Sorry, I almost forgot. When I’m with you, I just…” She handed it to him, eyes glowing with excitement.

He ripped open the packet and slipped it on in one smooth motion and then slid inside her for the first time in what felt like forever. Yet when they came fully together, he had the swirling feeling it was only yesterday.

It felt like home. Felt like he’d never wanted anything this much in his life. Felt the familiar hold of her body encompassing him. Felt like the universe was encapsulated inside her.

He hated the barrier between them. He wanted to take her and mark her and spill inside her. But he wasn’t going to claim her as mate. As much as his rational thoughts were breaking, he couldn’t go that far.

Even if at one point they did, that was a choice to be made with a lot of talking in broad daylight. Not in the heat of the moment in the dark. Not with his complicated history.

“You feel amazing,” she said, eyes turned skyward in rapture. When she turned her gaze to him, she was glowing. He took in the gorgeous sight of her curvy figure on top of him. Her strong shoulders, her proud breasts, her curvy hips and thighs, her softened stomach with a beautiful little bellybutton he wanted to stick his tongue in.

“Is this enough for you?” he asked, remembering how much foreplay they’d enjoyed before.

She nodded rapidly, biting her lip. “I couldn’t wait. I had to feel this. Always my favorite part.”

He loved everything they did together. Licking her everywhere, kissing her everywhere. He wanted to pin her down and enjoy every part of her. But he was too busy watching his queen in the moonlight.

“Can I move?” she asked, biting her lip. “I can’t hold back anymore. Her short hair shimmered silver in the moonlight, and he locked the image in his mind.

He put his hands on her soft waist as she started to move. He held her, taking her weight as she pulled up and then sank down, gasping in pleasure as she took him again.

And again.

She was so wet and warm and real. She melded together their past and their future in a way that made him breathless. He held on to her hips, enjoying the feel of her taking every ridge.

When her eyes met his, it was like they’d never been apart. It was all perfect once again.

He almost expected to wake up and realize this was all a dream. That would be cruel.

But no, his eyes were fully open, and she was here with him, murmuring softly, tangling her hands in his hair as pleasure began to take over, as pressure built between them.

His Hera, here, taking her pleasure from him as if it were all that mattered in the world. Maybe it was. Little sparks were going off as he tried to hold back sensations building inside him. He bit down, watching for each little hitch of her breath, each little wince, the soft pulsing of her wet heat that would mean she had gone.

She was close to the edge; he could feel that now. He flipped her over onto her back, wanting to control this last part. Wanting to dive into her to push her over the threshold. Wanting to look down into her eyes and let her lie there and focus solely on feeling amazing.