Be My Hero (3 page)

****

Evan strapped Polly back in the car with a sigh. They had viewed five houses, and none of them seemed quite right. He knew what he wanted: a family home with three or four bedrooms and some land, in a quiet spot, with a good school nearby for Polly.

He wished he had someone with him to give an opinion. A female perspective when looking around the houses would have been invaluable. It would have also staved off the probing questions from the vendors about where his wife was and why wasn't she viewing the properties with him.

Dark circles had formed under Polly's eyes. He wanted to get her home before the air got too cold and triggered her coughing. “We'd better take you back to Nanny's for tea. It's getting late.”

Polly cuddled her doll close to her. “Are you going to see the lady from the river?” she asked.

“Do you mind?” Evan smiled at his daughter.

“I liked her. She knew where to get duck food.”

Evan grinned. Nathalie had scored major brownie points with Polly. The problem was, he doubted if his own score was very high with Nathalie.

A few hours later, as he rang her parents' doorbell, he wondered if he would ever manage to restore himself into Nathalie's good books. From the way his heartbeat quickened when he looked into her dark blue eyes as she opened the door, he knew that, more than anything else, he wanted to be back on her good side.

When he'd lost Nathalie, he'd made one of the biggest mistakes of his life. Now he'd met her again, and it confirmed his feelings of regret. He owed it to her to try to put things right and to give her the apology and explanation she deserved.

****

Evan watched the range of emotions play across her face. He'd suggested The Lion because it was familiar, and all his memories of time spent there were pleasant. When he thought about it, most of his time spent there had been with Nathalie.

“For a minute back there, I thought your dad was about to give us a curfew,” he joked.

Nathalie grinned. “Me too. I think they forget sometimes that I'm not a teenager anymore.”

“I take it you don't live at home?”

“No, I moved out a while ago, when my business took off and Nate moved out. I live nearer to town, as it's handy for the shop. None of us live there anymore, although Jerome often calls around.”

Evan swung the car into the narrow country lane that led to the pub. “This place doesn't look as if it's changed much,” he remarked as they pulled in to the car park. Yellow-tinted floodlights illuminated the white walls of the building, and a wisp of smoke curled from the chimney into the evening sky. He jumped out of his seat and went to open the door for Nathalie.

“It seems quiet here tonight.” She looked around the almost deserted car park.

“I expect it'll get busy later.” Evan reached for her hand as she climbed out of the car. She ignored the gesture and instead turned to lead the way through the small side gate to the entrance of the pub. He followed behind her, disappointed that she had snubbed him and surprised by how much it stung.

The lounge was quiet. Another couple sat at a corner table, sipping their drinks. An elderly man stood at the bar, deep in conversation with the landlord.

“What would you like to drink?” Evan asked. In the past, Nathalie had always ordered soft drinks.

“Orange juice, please. I had wine at lunch, and I need to drive home from Mum's later.”

Evan smiled as he collected the drinks and took a seat opposite her by the fireplace. Maybe some things didn't change. Nathalie had taken off her jacket and hung it on the corner coat stand. In the soft light from the fire, her face appeared shadowed, almost mysterious. A frisson of electricity ran through his body. She was a beautiful woman.

“I'm glad you agreed to come out with me.” He had thought that she would refuse. In truth, he wouldn't have blamed her if she hadn't wanted to see him again. He owed her an apology — one that was long overdue.

“I guess I'm either a sucker for punishment, or I want an explanation.” Her voice sounded brittle and her eyes were downcast, as if the wood grain of the table held some secret meaning.

Evan sighed. He felt like a heel. “I never intended to hurt you, Tali.”

Her eyes snapped up to meet his. “I never thought you did.” He wished he could believe her words, but the pain on her face told a different story.

“I'd received a letter from Laurel that morning when I last saw you. I'd seen her a few times when I was in London. I broke up with her a couple of months before you and I, you know, started to see each other as a couple.” He took a long pull of his beer. “She said she was pregnant.”

“I knew you'd seen someone before we started to date, so why didn't you tell me?”

Evan raked his hand through his hair. “I didn't know if she was telling the truth, or what her plans were. I had to go and see her.” He struggled to find the words to explain his emotions from that fateful summer. How much he'd hoped Laurel was mistaken.

“I see.” Her voice sounded cool.

“I intended to come back when I'd found out what was going on. I thought — hoped — she was lying.” How he'd hoped.

“But she wasn't.”

He drew a deep breath. “No, she wasn't.” Only the crackling of the wood as it shifted in the fireplace broke the silence between them. “Believe me, Tali, I would have done anything to have made it not true.”

“So, you married her.” Her voice dropped so low he had to bend his head forward a little to catch what she said.

“She said she loved me and she was pregnant with my baby.” What else could he have done? He'd had a duty toward Laurel and his unborn child.

“I loved you,” she said, her pain eloquent in those few words. For a moment, hope flared in his heart—maybe she could come to feel that way again—but the unmistakable spark of fury in her eyes quenched it.

“Nathalie, I…” He wasn't sure what else he could say. Laurel had trapped him into a marriage he hadn't wanted, and while he bitterly regretted the way he had treated Nathalie, he would never regret his daughter.

“I thought we had something special back then, Evan. We'd talked, made plans together, then you kissed me goodbye after Maria's wedding and vanished.” She shook her head and a long tendril of hair fell loose across her cheek. “I felt so stupid. No phone call, no letter, nothing. Then Jerome told me you'd settled in London and weren't coming back.” She glared at him.

“If I'd told you back then about Laurel, would it have made any difference?” he asked.

“I could have slugged you a good one.”

“That's fair. I would have deserved it. I behaved appallingly. I just convinced myself at the time that I had done the right thing.” He'd thought a clean break would be better for both of them. Except for Nathalie, it must have felt as if he'd simply lost interest and dumped her.

She drained the remainder of her drink. Her hand shook as she placed the empty glass back down on the beer mat. “Why is Polly with you now?”

Evan swished the dregs of his beer around in the bottom of his glass. “The relationship was wrong from the start. We weren't in love. The only bond between us was the baby. Laurel — or Laura, as she was then — was just beginning to establish her career. She didn't want a child, but at the time, it seemed all the major female celebrities were pregnant. It was fashionable.” He couldn't hide a grimace as he swallowed the rest of his drink.

“What happened?” Nathalie's eyes were dark in the dim light.

“She hated being pregnant. After Polly was born, she abandoned any pretence of loving her once the cameras had stopped snapping at the various photo shoots she dragged Polly along to.” He paused as he relived the past, angry at the way he'd allowed himself and his daughter to be used and manipulated.

“When did you leave?” Nathalie smoothed the stray curl of hair back from her face. Her expression had blanked again, telling him nothing of how she felt.

“Once Laurel's career began to take off, we were never together. She was travelling and working long hours, or so she said. I took care of Polly. Laurel liked the idea that I was still around as a sort of financial safety net if her career nose-dived. But I finally got her to agree to a divorce six months ago.”

Nathalie blinked, and he wondered if she had any idea what it had cost him to tell her all this. “Poor Polly,” she murmured.

“Polly doesn't have the best health. Ever since she was born, she's had eczema and asthma. The eczema is better now that she's older, and her doctor is optimistic that she'll grow out of the asthma as well. But Laurel resented Polly's illness. It made her less photogenic.”

“That's terrible. Does she see her mother?” Nathalie's eyes widened with concern.

“Laurel visits occasionally, usually if she wants something.” Evan tried to keep the bitter note out of his voice. He always found it hard to be civil to his ex when she made one of her fleeting appearances in their lives. Her sporadic visits always brought Polly more sorrow than pleasure. But she was still Polly's mother, so what could he do?

He grew aware of the increased volume of voices around them, and he realised the room had filled with customers whilst they had been talking. “Would you like another drink?”

Nathalie looked at the empty glasses before them, then around at the busy room. “No, I'm fine. Perhaps we ought to go.”

Evan took the empty glasses back to the bar. She had every right to be angry with him over the way he'd treated her. He should have got in touch with her sooner, explained about Laurel and the baby. He'd never thought of himself as a coward and had prided himself on doing the right thing, but seeing the pain in Nathalie's eyes, he knew his pride had been misplaced.

****

Nathalie collected her coat and waited by the door for Evan to return. Her head buzzed with everything he'd told her. His story hadn't given her the closure she'd hoped for. Instead, it had reopened old wounds, just as she had feared it might. Laurel might be a monster, but she had succeeded in giving Evan something Nathalie couldn't: a child. She knew from seeing them together that Evan loved Polly very much.

“Are you ready to go?” His breath blew warm on the nape of her neck. Her skin tingled at his closeness as he helped her on with her coat. She might still have been angry with him, but when he stood so near, her body played traitor.

A refreshing blast of icy air hit her as she opened the door. She zipped her coat up, snuggling into the puffy down as they crossed the car park to Evan's car. He made no move to take her hand this time. She shivered at the distance between them.

Evan unlocked the car and opened the door for her. “Polly thinks you're the bee's knees, by the way. Anyone who knows something as cool as where to find free duck food is a star in her eyes.”

Nathalie wriggled inside the Jeep, feeling slightly uncomfortable as she waited for Evan to get in the driver's side. Polly had seemed a sweet little girl, but she hoped Evan didn't think she was a candidate to replace Laurel as a mother figure.

“The car will soon warm up.” He started the engine and waited for the frozen screen to clear. “We talked a lot about me in there. What about you, Tali? You haven't felt the urge to get married or start a family?”

“I've been dating, but I suppose I haven't met the right person to settle down with yet.” Nathalie endeavoured to keep her voice light. She concentrated on the half-moon of screen as it cleared in front of her.

“What about children?” Evan asked.

“Not for me,” she declared emphatically and gripped the sides of her seat so hard her knuckles hurt, hoping he wouldn't notice how much his probing affected her.