Be My December (43 page)

“You left the house in just this?”

“Well I didn’t think your brother would stop me on my way here.”

“You are so damn beautiful.”

I felt my cheeks darken under his lustful gaze. The smallest of chuckle rose from his chest before I slammed my lips to his. This kiss was full of apology, need, desperation, and connection. My tongue grazed his bottom lip and instantly he opened and let me in. Our tongues swayed in perfect harmony together, combining as one, soothing the lies that had been said, the games that had been played.

I moaned against his lips as our hands attacked one another. I was desperate to feel connected to him; I needed to know that there was still something that would allow us to overcome this. I gripped onto his pants, undoing the button and fumbling for the zipper. My hand fisted around him tightly. I ran my hand up and down his length, feeling it hardening in my grip. I loved knowing I had the ability to do this to him. He drew in a strong hiss and his head fell to my shoulder. I kept working him, his breath trampled over my increasingly heated skin and as I increased my pace, I knew he was close.

His hand left my hip and slid down my thigh and I knew what was coming. I couldn’t help but let out a small cry. His finger ran along the lace of my panties, teasing and tormenting my throbbing clit. I wanted contact. I wanted to feel him. With one swift movement, my panties were pushed to the side, and he entered me. I moaned loudly, the echo filling the silence in the office. I stilled and adjusted. Finally our gaze met, and I could see hesitation looking back at me. Hesitation I didn’t want to see.

“I want this,” I admitted. “Please Ky.”

That was all it took. I saw the reluctance leave his eyes, and immediately it was replaced with determination. It was at the moment that I knew I was about to get all of Ky Crawford.

His mouth took mine with fierce determination. His tongue tasted every inch of my mouth. Owning me, taking me. His hands grabbed my hips and lifted me, silently begging me to take control and ride him. I didn’t know whether it was the fact that we were in his office, whether it was because he was taking me in front of a window that showed us off to the city of New York or that I hadn’t spoken to him in three days, but this, right here, was the most turned on I had ever been when it came to Ky Crawford. I rode him like my life depended on it, up and down, deeper and harder. My arms linked tightly around his body, my breasts bounced and collided with his naked chest. The friction of my nipples against the warmth of his skin caused my eyes to shut as my body tried to comprehend every emotion flooding my body. 

The intensity, the raw emotion, the closure of a past I never wanted to revisit again hit me all at once. I pulled my mouth from his and buried my face in his neck and immediately I was overcome with his scent. The first tear escaped from my eyes, and I slammed them shut. I would not cry. I balanced precariously on the edge of ecstasy, lingering between reality and a dream-like state. God it felt out of this world. With a swift movement Ky pushed me back against the desk, my elbows resting on the mahogany top. The cool air hit my naked chest and a shiver ran down my spine. The shift in movement allowed him to thrust deeper, and I knew it would be any moment before I collapsed against his chest in a heap of fireworks and stars.

His lips fell to my exposed nipple, while his thumb made contact with my throbbing clit. That was all it took. My body switched on, my thighs tightened around his hips and my head fell back as an orgasm ripped through my body. I shuddered against him as pleasure rolled through me, roaring through every inch of my body. I fell against his chest and as the sheath of our sweat combined I felt his release fill me as a roar left his chest.

I stayed in his arms as our breathing calmed down. I didn’t move. He stayed locked deep within me and made no attempt to slide out. I stayed in his arms for what seemed like forever and what had just happened between us made me forget everything, and that was exactly how I wanted it.

“Will you come home with me?” I asked softly and her eyes finally found mine.

After I finally released her from my grasp, I gently cleaned up and then she stood and wrapped her body back in the coat she had worn to my office. I sat back in my chair and watched her so closely, trying to memorize everything about her as fear that this could be one of the last times I saw her flooded me. It was a feeling I couldn’t shake. I had so many things I needed to say to her. All I wanted was to implore her not to give up on me. Whether I deserved it or not was completely up to the shattered girl standing in my office. 

I pushed back from my desk after doing up my pants and crossed the office until I stood behind her. Her eyes immediately flashed to mine in the reflection of the glass. My arms wrapped around her waist pulling her back to my chest and the moment she relaxed into me felt like a moment to cherish. I had nothing to lose so if she wouldn’t listen to my words, my actions would have to speak for themselves. 

“Can I take you home?” I asked, my words muffled against her neck.

She shifted in my arms and twisted her body to face me, her arms linking behind my neck. Her eyes finally locked with mine, and they swam with indecision. We desperately needed to talk. I just hoped she would give me that chance. I would not stop at begging for her to give me that chance. Her lips were still swollen and glistening from my attack and her hair was ruffled in the perfect way I loved. Standing before me, surrounded by my arms, was the only girl for me, and I would fight until I was blue in the face to make her see that and to make her truly mine forever. Nothing would stop me because I had waited too long for this moment.

“Say something baby.”

Her lips creased briefly into a smile at the sound of
baby,
and
she nodded so delicately that I almost missed it.

“I’m ready to go.” She whispered so gently.

My hand never left hers as we walked through the near empty office and made our way to the garage. I opened the passenger door and watched as she buckled herself in. I just wanted to get her to my apartment, I wanted to feel comfortable. I wanted her to scream at me, hit me, anything besides silence. I pulled my car out of the garage and hit the steady Friday evening traffic.

I felt her eyes on me before I found them. She had shifted in the seat so her back was flush with the door and faced me, staring at me so intently. Her perfect blue eyes were clear, focused, determined, like she was reading me, trying to divulge information without asking me. It made me nervous as hell. That was all she did for the entire hour drive back to my apartment.

Without a single fucking word.

The moment I shut off the engine, I finally broke.

“Eden, can you please say something? I can’t do silence. I need to know what you are thinking. Whether you could ever forgive me?”

“Inside,” was the only word she spoke.

It was only a matter of time. I knew I had to wait until she was ready to speak. I felt the shift the moment we stepped foot into my apartment. She sat on the couch, still silent, still holding her emotions in. Everything that we had fought for seemed to have been all but forgotten.

“Do you want something to eat?” I asked as I took a seat beside her.

“Yep.”

Fuck me. “Please don’t do this.”

“Do what?”

“Become that girl again.”

“I’ll always be that girl.”

I shook my head in frustration and stood from the couch, walking to the kitchen as my anger swirled around me. There was no way in hell that I was letting her become that girl again. Pulling open my fridge, I realized I hadn’t shopped; the past three days had been horrendous without her, but I couldn’t help but think it was a prologue for what I was about to endure. 

“I don’t have any food. Let’s go to the diner.”

“Sure.”

That was it.

“Fucking hell Eden, stop doing that. This isn’t you. Don’t let my fucked-up decision screw up everything you’ve become while you were here.”

She rose from the couch and stormed into the kitchen and stood chest to chest with me. “You have no right to tell me what to do Ky. You lost that right when you lied to me. Why did you do it? Tell me why the fuck you would keep something like that from me? I trusted you. I gave you every single part of me but still that wasn’t enough to gain your honesty. I don’t know if anything you have said or done is true. All those words you said to me, were they lies too?”

Finally she broke.

“Nothing I said to you was a lie. Everything I admitted to you was truth.”

Her eyes dropped from mine and her face dropped. “I want to know everything Ky. You know my story, now I want to hear yours.”

This would be it, the moment when I faced my greatest fears. The moment when I relived my darkest days. I had told no one the depths of my grief, my hatred, my disgust in myself. She looked at me so expectantly and I knew I needed to give her this. This would be her closure as much as it would be mine. I grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the couch. She fell onto the comfortable cushion and pulled her legs to her chest. I sighed nervously and ran my hands through my hair. I needed to search and gather every part of my strength and give her this because if I didn’t there would be no chance that I could ever get her back.

“I was best friends with Jeremy Davis from high school and through college. He was that guy who everyone at school admired, purely because he came from money and stature. He always got what he wanted, when he wanted it, and I never had that and I didn’t want that. My family was working class, and I had to work my ass off every single day for everything that was in my life. The thing with Jeremy was that he thought he was entitled to everything and everyone. Girls threw themselves at him, and guys wanted to be him. The moment we started college, I saw him change. He wasn’t the biggest guy on campus anymore; there were guys with more money, with more standing, and with a much better reputation and stature then him. He didn’t like that, and it fucked with his head.”

I took a breath and looked at her. Her eyes were wide, her mouth agape as she took in my words. I threw my head back and demanded a huge breath to fill my lungs. I fell silent.

“Please keep going.” Her words were so soft, so innocent, yet so demanding.

I nodded.

“I remember the first time I saw you. It was across the coffee house that was just off campus. You were like a breath of fresh air amongst the stiffness and predictability of college girls. The first thing I noticed about you was those beautiful eyes. I had never seen anything like them. The blue reminded me of the ocean in summer. They were so wide, so inviting, and so entrancing. I was trapped from that moment. I had no issues with approaching girls, but with you, I was fearful. I couldn’t have handled rejection and from what I had found out when I asked around, I was told that you didn’t date. I couldn’t risk it. I watched you from afar; I knew you loved that coffee house so it became my regular place to study, because I wanted a moment when I could enjoy you.”

I stopped the moment I heard her gasp. Her knuckles were white from her grip on the pillow she held on to.

“You asked about me?” she asked meekly.

“Of course I did. Eden, you were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. God this makes me sound like a fucking stalker.” I ran my hands through my hair and groaned. This was making me look like a fucking asshole too, but I knew I couldn’t stop. “You were everything that other girls weren’t. I remember the first time I saw you in sweats in the coffee house. You looked so comfortable, so confident, so concentrated while every other girl there was in her way-too-tight jeans, with tit-exposing tops and a face full of makeup. You were refreshing. You were everything I wanted.”

She stilled as it dawned on her.

She surprised me when she moved closer to me. I took a chance and pulled her onto my lap. My arm snaked around her waist and pulled her against my chest. We sat in silence as my words sunk in. We weren’t even close to being done, but I just needed this moment because I was afraid that this could be the last chance I get.

“I need you to keep going.”

I took a deep breath and my hand grasped her waist tightly, almost as if I was locking her to my body.

“Jeremy noticed a change in me. My life revolved around studying, I had a dream of what I wanted to become and I didn’t have the luxury of having a family who could pay my way through college. My grades were what kept me there. I made the mistake one day of mentioning you and from that day forward you were on his radar. He started coming to the coffee house. He tried to get me to approach you. Then he started saying fucked-up things about you.”

She shuddered against my chest at the sound of his name and his actions. I hated that I was bringing this up. I felt like I was putting her through hell, but I knew I couldn’t stop.

“That night, the end of year party at the frat house, I had been told you were going, and I had decided that I was going to find you and finally ask you out. I knew what I was going to say to you, and I wasn’t going to let you say no. I thought I had everything ticked off and planned. It was during the lead up to the party that Jeremy started saying shit. He got in my fucking face, and I was getting pissed off. I remember everything like it was yesterday, the look in his eye, the tone in his voice, but I never thought anything else of it. When he came up with the bet to see who could ask you out first, I thought he was doing it to encourage me to finally grow a set of balls. Fuck Eden, I never knew that he could do this. I should have realized he was fucked-up. I should have gotten to you first. I should have realized he had no intention of doing anything for me.”