Be My December (16 page)

I slid back into the booth and fell against the leather of the bucket seat. My eyes traced her steps as she walked through the diner and out the door. She stopped on the sidewalk and turned back, gazing into the diner; the moment her eyes connected with mine, I felt something shift. I might have proposed the fucked-up month idea, but she had cemented something within me. She had created unease within me. How in the hell was I meant to keep my hands and mouth off her for a month? 

My urge to spend time with her was too much; why couldn’t I just do what a normal person would do? I was featuring her work for God’s sake; it wasn’t like I wouldn’t be seeing her. I was pissed that she assumed this was a game. I would never do that to her. I had my own secrets when it came to Eden Rivers so I needed to be careful with how I played this out. It would just be a few outings, maybe some dinners. I wanted to show her that not all men’s main goal in life was to get their dick in her pussy. I wouldn’t be anywhere near her pussy. I couldn’t. I promised.

I doubt she realized she had me gripped by the balls and now I was locked in. What was happening to me? Since when had I not been at work as the sun was rising; since when had I purposely come to the diner that I now knew she visited?

“Be careful with her.”

I broke my eye contact with Eden and turned to face Tommy. He stood beside the table desperately trying to look threatening. I leaned back and folded my hands behind my head and waited for him to continue. I had seen him watching Eden and me from the minute she slid in across from me.

“She isn’t like other girls around here. She is special. Don’t fuck with her head okay?”

“And how do you know that I am going to fuck with her head? How did you become such an expert on Eden?”

“I am her cousin’s best friend. I know a lot about her. She doesn’t need a cocky self-obsessed asshole from the city screwing her over.”

Who the fuck did this kid think he was?

“Just because you see me come in here doesn’t mean you know jack shit about me.
So why don’t you run along and leave me be.”

His eyes turned to slits and his mouth opened and closed numerous times as if he wanted to say something to me, but he quickly twisted around and stalked back to the counter only to disappear into the storage room. Fuck me. I didn’t need some pissed off eighteen-year-old telling me what I already knew.

I pulled my phone out of my jean pocket and opened up a blank text message. I needed to speak with Ashlyn and fast. She would make me see some sense. Either that, or she’d rip my balls clean off my body. That would probably be the best thing to happen at the moment.

Ky: Ash, where are you working today?

Within seconds Ashlyn’s name flashed before me.

Ashlyn: Pier 63, on-set job. What’s up?

Ky: I did something.

Ashlyn: I don’t even want to know. Come down, I’ll take a break.

I looked at my watch and realized that I had already missed a scheduled meeting. First time for everything I guess. Josh would have a field day with this. I closed my laptop and stood from the booth. It would only take me ten minutes to get to pier 63, ten minutes until Ashlyn would tell me how much of a dickhead I really was.

The pier was a fanfare of models, photographers, and stylists. Why they had decided to have an outdoor shoot as the temperature dropped rapidly was anyone’s guess. I shoved my hands in my pockets in desperate search of some warmth and headed down the beach toward the photographer whom I knew as Alessandra. The moment she saw me, a wide grin spread across her face, and she announced for everyone to take five. Alessandra and I went way back; she was a regular photographer at the magazine, and we had developed a close friendship. I had actually attended her and her girlfriend’s wedding just this past summer.

“Sweetie you are looking as handsome as ever. Why are you not at work? This isn’t the Ky Crawford I know and love.” She leaned in and kissed both cheeks and stepped away, looking at me suspiciously.

“This new Ky is because of a girl.” Ashlyn stood beside me, pushed her hip into mine, and raised her eyebrow as if to say
you know I’m right
.

“You have a girl!” Alessandra’s screech brought the attention of everyone within a ten-mile radius of us.

“I do not have a girl Less, Ashlyn is just being premature.”

“Let’s hope you aren’t premature when it comes to Eden.”

My best friend’s ability to say whatever was on her mind never ceased to amaze me. She spoke first and thought second. The smile and twinkle in her eye was a clear indication that she loved this torment a bit too much.

“Ashlyn, seriously, are we really talking about my coming abilities in the middle of a packed beach. You and I both know that I have some killer stories.”

“Jesus Ky, time and place.”

“You brought this on yourself.” I turned back toward Alessandra who looked at Ashlyn and I like we were sickos. “Do you mind if I steal your stylist for a few minutes?”

“Of course sweetie, we will break for coffee. Take your time.”

Ashlyn linked her arm with mine, and we headed away from the crowd and down the sand of the abandoned beach. I knew Ashlyn too well. I knew she was desperate to break the silence but was waiting impatiently for me to make the first move. I would let her stew for a while. Fuck, I could be an asshole when I wanted to be but it was all for my amusement.

“What did you do? Besides kiss her last night.”

Ahh, there she goes.

“I asked her to spend December with me.”

Ashlyn’s face darkened and her eyes narrowed in on me. “So you went against everything I advised?”

“So it seems.”

“Do you know what you are doing?”

“Nope, I have no fucking clue. It just happened. I kissed the shit out of her last night and completely got lost in the moment. I’ve lost every bit of control, and I never lose control Ashlyn. Never.”

“How was she?”

I fell silent, focusing back on the moment she said yes. The small smile that filtered over her lips, the intrigue that set in her eyes, and the change of her body language was something I couldn’t ignore.

“She was fine. She can’t say no Ashlyn and me being the fucking prick I am, used that against her for my own personal gain. What kind of fucked-up person am I? I couldn’t stop. I knew what I was doing, I knew what I was asking, and I knew she would say yes.”

“Just promise me you won’t hurt her.”

“That’s one thing I can certainly promise you.”

••••

The office buzzed with excitement when I finally arrived for the day. Over the past three years this was the first time that I hadn’t been here to open up. Lauren looked at me with questioning eyes as I strolled past her and made my way to my office. I knew it was only a matter of time before my arrival hit Josh’s office.

I opened my laptop and started the task of going through countless emails and looking at the meetings that Lauren had thankfully rescheduled.

A loud knock sounded from my door, and I was soon joined in my office by a smirking Josh. I was ready for his assault of questions. He closed the door behind him and moved towards my desk, taking a seat opposite me.

“Where have you been?”

“Out.”

“With who?”

“Ashlyn.”

“Bull-fucking-shit.”

“Fine, I had breakfast at the diner, saw Eden, and then went to the pier to speak with Ashlyn.” I stretched out behind my desk and waited for his opinions to hit me.

“Cool.”

Cool!

“Seriously? Cool?” I narrowed my eyes at my brother and awaited his assault but it never came. “What have you done with my opinionated asshole of a brother? I am still waiting for the taunt about me kissing her last night?”

Josh leaned back and clasped his hands behind his head and continued watching me closely. To be honest, he was making me uncomfortable. I hadn’t spoken to him since I left his apartment last night and I knew I had a million and one things I wanted to talk to him about, but how could I really start the conversation? I had been hoping he would have.

Finally he spoke. “It doesn’t surprise me that you kissed her. I knew it was only a matter of time, and who am I to say anything about it. The only thing I’ll ask is, was it everything you thought it would be? Was it worth it?”

I didn’t even have to consider my response. “Yep and now I don’t know how I’m not going to want it again. A girl has never gotten to me like her Josh. It’s going to seem sudden to people, people aren’t going to understand my reaction to her, but you and I both know that this has been a long time coming.”  

Josh nodded and worry flittered over his face for a brief moment. I knew this could blow up and so did he. He knew my deepest fears, my biggest concerns but never did I ever think I’d be in this position again, and I didn’t know when I’d get the opportunity again.

“I’ve set Eden up in the corner office. You should see her in there. This massive office and it’s just her and her laptop. She looks so small.” Josh chuckled.

“She’s here?” I asked in shock.

“Yep, called about thirty minutes ago asking if there was somewhere she could work for the day.”

Okay well that was interesting. Why the hell hadn’t she called me? Instead she called my brother. “Um, thanks for doing that. I’ll sort through my emails and calendar and then I’ll go and see her. You know, make sure she is okay in there.”

He pushed back from the seat and stood. “Be careful,” he warned then turned and left my office, giving me one last knowing look before he disappeared.

For three hours I was completely distracted by emails and scheduling. I had issues in the LA office, I had a conference call with Simon, and then Roger decided that we should have lunch. Three hours passed and every now and then the thought that Eden was only a couple of offices away would hit me. Finally when I had a moment to breathe, I walked down the hall toward the far corner office. I opened the door slowly and was greeted by Eden tapping away at her laptop, earplugs in, and her softly humming along to whatever she was listening to. I took the moment to watch her, to drink her in. My eyes dropped to her mouth, and my brain went into overdrive. My desperation to kiss her again was raging within me. I wanted to taste her again and I wanted her to completely own our kiss again. Fuck, I wanted to do whatever she would let me do. I shook the thoughts out of my head and watched as she twisted a piece of her hair around her finger and her eyes bounced over whatever was reading on the screen. 

“Shit!” She shrieked when she finally realized I was there. I moved into the room, closing the door behind me. Her eyes followed my every movement as I walked around the office, my fingertip running along the top of the desk that swallowed her laptop.

Josh was right; she looked tiny in here.

“I didn’t know you had come in,” I stated as I collapsed into the cream leather club chair situated on the other side of the desk and folded my arms over my chest. The sassy girl who greeted me in the diner only hours earlier had bolted and now a nervous Eden sat opposite me continuing to twist a length of her hair as her eyes darted away from me.

“The diner was too noisy when I went back so I called Josh and he said I could work here.”

“Why didn’t you call me?”

She simply shrugged her shoulders in response.

“Tell me,” I probed, wanting to find out why she thought she couldn’t approach me about something as trivial as finding somewhere to work.

“Because you confuse me, you intrigue me, you frighten me, you cloud my judgment, and I just don’t know who I am when I am around you.” Her words were rushed, and her eyes swam with indecision. I hated that she used the word
frightened
when she spoke of me.

“That could be a good thing,” I muttered under my breath.

“Or it could completely destroy me.”

We fell into an intense silence as we looked at each other, both obviously falling into our own thoughts and indecision about what we were about to begin. The tension in the room could be sliced with a knife; it was palpable; it was real.

I rose from the chair and made my way toward the door knowing that it was necessary for me to leave. I needed an escape before I said things I had locked away for so long. I turned back toward her and gave her one last smile and said words that I knew would rattle her to the core.

“Well we have December to find out, don’t we?”

Ky: I’m picking you up at 8 am.

The Saturday morning sunshine beamed through the drapes covering the hotel window, but I knew it was offering fake warmth. It was December 1
^st
, the first day of winter, and the temperature had dropped at a staggering rate. Stretching under the warmth of my comforter I read over Ky’s message and sighed. Today it begins. A month with Ky Crawford. I still didn’t understand the whole concept, and I was trying with everything I was to ignore the glint of anticipation that shot through me when I received his message. But the excitement was extinguished the moment a bitch called self-doubt roared to life, destroying everything in her path.