Bashert (4 page)

Jonah stood and started pacing his dorm room. He really needed to stop thinking about Aaron in that way. It was the last night of Hanukkah, and he’d already given Aaron his present. Maybe he’d just play sick tonight and stay home.

Easier said than done. Jonah could not put Aaron out of his head. He picked up a book to take his mind off dark eyes, and full, soft lips…. Sundown came and went. Jonah’s phone rang, but he didn’t answer it. An hour passed, then another, and guilt settled heavily on his shoulders. Aaron must be worried sick about him. Finally, he could stand it no longer. Jonah grabbed his jacket and left the dorm.

J
ONAH
GULPED
hard when Aaron answered the door with nothing but a towel slung around his slim hips. Aaron combed his fingers through his wet hair and stared back at him. “I didn’t think you were coming, Jonah.”

“I wasn’t.” Jonah licked dry lips. “Aren’t you going to invite me in?”

“I… of course,” Aaron stammered, stepping aside. “I was worried when you didn’t answer your phone. Did something happen?”

At a loss for words to explain himself, Jonah just blurted out the truth. “No.”

“Then why? I thought you enjoyed celebrating the holiday.”

“I did. More than I have in a long time. But the holiday’s over….”

“It’s the end of the holiday, Jonah. That doesn’t mean we have to end our friendship.” Aaron frowned sadly. “I know you’re conflicted. I’m an observant Jew, but I’m still a man. I know when another man looks at me with hungry eyes. I want you too.”

Jonah’s face grew hot.
Is my lust that obvious?
“It’s not that easy for me.”

“Nothing worthwhile is easy.”

“I can’t reconcile being Jewish and gay like you do.”

“It didn’t happen overnight. When I didn’t get acceptance from my parents, I thought God wouldn’t accept me either. And when my parents died, I felt God truly abandoned me. Then I started going to shul again. I realized that faith was an integral part of my life, and I struggled to find my own place in Judaism.”

Jonah listened carefully. He had been so intent on giving up his relationship with God; he hadn’t really thought it through. Was it really what
he
wanted? Thoroughly confused, he regarded Aaron with admiration. It must be wonderful to know your place in the world. Something kept drawing him closer to this man, and it wasn’t just physical attraction. Jonah felt he’d truly found a kindred spirit, a man who really understood what he had been going through. If only he could emulate Aaron’s strength and convictions. “How did you find your space, Aaron?”

“There are many ways of being a Jew, Jonah. Maybe it’s not strictly kosher”—Aaron grinned at him—“but the Reform movement I joined is more progressive and includes many gay members. We believe in the Jewish tradition of honoring a loving commitment between two people. If they’re the same gender, so be it. I know God doesn’t expect me to live a life devoid of love.”

“I don’t know….”

“Jonah, why did you decide to come tonight? Think about it. We’re celebrating the Festival of Lights. This is not the time to hide in the dark—or in the closet. If we deny our feelings, then we’re just deceiving ourselves and God.”

“You’re right. I know it, but—”

Aaron leaned forward and brushed his lips over Jonah’s, so soft, so wet…. The kiss started slow and thoughtful but turned wild and hungry. There was no doubt that the passion was mutual. Aaron opened his mouth, and their tongues met, danced, and explored. The pressure of lips increased, and Jonah felt buffeted by Aaron’s passion, and way too turned on to worry about the whys and wherefores. They were both breathless when they finally broke apart.

Jonah lost any ability to think straight. One minute he wanted to throw his clothes off and beg Aaron to fuck him, and the next he wanted to flee like a frightened rabbit. The rabbit must be growing a pair of balls, because right now Jonah’s cock felt hard as a baseball bat and ready to bust through his jeans to get to first base. Breathless, Jonah could not articulate what he wanted, but Aaron seemed to know. He reached out a hand and unzipped Jonah’s jeans, freeing his aching cock. Aaron’s long index finger traced the vein that ran the length of the swollen shaft. A hissing breath escaped Jonah’s lungs when Aaron’s broad thumb spread moisture from the dripping head along the shaft. Suddenly Aaron released him. “Get undressed,” Aaron said hoarsely.

Jonah’s fingers were all thumbs as he unbuttoned his shirt. He toed off his sneakers, then unzipped and pushed his jeans over his hips, before kicking them aside. When Jonah was completely undressed, Aaron dropped his towel. Finally they stood, naked and erect and staring at each other. Like a kid, Jonah compared his penis to Aaron’s. “You’re bigger.”

“I’m not complaining,” Aaron said with a grin. “But you might be later.”

Jonah had a hard time reconciling the sexual creature in front of him with the Aaron he knew. A thrill of fear shot up his spine. “I never did this before.”

“Do you want to?”

Do I?
A sudden wave of anxiety overwhelmed Jonah, and his thumbs raced again. “Yes.”

Aaron took Jonah’s hand and led him to the futon against the far wall. He cupped Jonah’s jaw and leaned in for another kiss, while his hand slid over Jonah’s chest and teased his nipples until they peaked. A soft moan issued from Jonah’s mouth, and his cock filled and leaked.

Aaron sat on the mattress and pulled Jonah down with him. Jonah let out a little gasp as he lay back and stared up at the ceiling.
This is finally happening
. His thumbs started moving, and he stopped himself by clutching the futon cover.
Relax
, he told himself.
This is what you wanted.

Aaron ran a hand down Jonah’s calf. Jonah chewed on his lip and remained silent, wondering if Aaron would be disappointed in what was to come.

“Just relax. Don’t think. Just feel,” Aaron said. “I want you to enjoy this. I know I will.” He leaned over Jonah and grazed the rim of Jonah’s ear with his mouth, then nibbled and sucked on the lobe. His breath warmed Jonah’s flesh as he whispered words of encouragement. Then Aaron’s lips moved over Jonah’s jaw and down his throat. Instinctively, Jonah turned his head to give Aaron better access and felt teeth nipping at his exposed skin. Jonah hadn’t expected the searching tongue and sweet kisses. He never knew men made love this way, and his eyes were wide with wonder as he turned and looked up at Aaron.

Aaron looked down at him, concern written all over his face. “You okay?”

“Yes.” Jonah reached up and embraced Aaron’s shoulders, pulling him down for a kiss.

Jonah was flushed and panting when they finally broke to catch a breath. Aaron gently brushed back Jonah’s hair. Then he bent to tease a hard nipple with his tongue.

Jonah gasped and arched as Aaron started to suck. Heat raced along his nerve endings and made him whimper. He had no idea that a man could feel so much pleasure from his nipples. But Aaron abandoned them all too quickly and licked a path over Jonah’s belly and lower. A warm palm grasped Jonah’s cock firmly and stroked. Nothing he’d done with his own hand had felt this good. It was too much and not enough—

Jonah sucked air as a rough tongue circled the head of his cock before searching the slit for drops of precum. “Oh, God….” For a second he wondered why he’d called for God at a time like this. Then a warm wetness swallowed his cock, and thinking became impossible. He could only do what Aaron wanted—feel. And the sweet sensations made Jonah moan and writhe. He felt the head of his cock nudge the back of Aaron’s throat. Nothing had ever felt so good before. His eyes fluttered shut, and his balls tightened with anticipation. Above him, Aaron hummed with pleasure. Then a long finger played at Jonah’s hole, and his eyes rolled back into his head. He cried out, filling Aaron’s throat with his release. Aaron sucked greedily, drinking down every last drop. Finally, he released Jonah’s spent dick and lifted his head.

Jonah lay in a silent, stunned sprawl as Aaron’s lips covered his, giving him a taste of his own cum. It didn’t disgust him. On the contrary. He wanted to know Aaron’s taste. But Aaron shifted position, opened the drawer of a small table next to the futon, and rummaged through the contents. He held up a tube of lubricant and a condom. “I won’t hurt you,” Aaron said softly.

Jonah’s nerves returned, but he didn’t protest when Aaron pushed his legs back, so the soles of his feet were flat on the thin mattress. Jonah grunted, and his muscles tensed when a cold, slick finger pushed inside his tight hole. He met Aaron’s gaze. The other man was watching him intently.

“You okay?”

“Yes,” Jonah hissed.

“Good.” Aaron added a second finger and probed deeper, stretching and preparing Jonah.

Jonah stared at Aaron’s leaking erection, and a sudden fear overwhelmed him. How the hell would that swollen dick fit inside him?

Then Aaron crooked his fingers and touched a spot inside him that made Jonah arch and cry out with pleasure.

“Tell me what you want, Jonah.”

“Please. I need… more.”

Aaron bent for a kiss and then withdrew his fingers. Jonah watched with some trepidation as Aaron rolled the condom over his erection. Aaron gripped Jonah’s hips and pulled him closer, and then he pushed Jonah’s knees back. Jonah clenched his eyes shut and bit his lip as the broad head of Aaron’s cock pushed past resistant muscle. He couldn’t hold back a whimper.

Aaron stilled to let Jonah get used to his invasion. “Breathe, Jonah. Relax.” He leaned over and sucked on a nipple to distract Jonah. After a minute, Aaron pushed a little further. He moved slowly, lavishing kisses and murmuring encouragement.

Jonah felt embarrassed by his whimpers, but he couldn’t hold them back. Suddenly, Aaron’s thick cock rubbed over that sweet spot inside him. Jonah cried out as Aaron massaged that spot again and again. The pain receded, overwhelmed by so much pure pleasure. Jonah’s hips moved seemingly of their own will. Now Aaron was moaning, and Jonah felt a certain satisfaction knowing that he was giving Aaron pleasure.

He met Aaron’s heated gaze. “More. Please….”

Aaron started to thrust, slow at first, then harder and faster, as Jonah urged him on. Aaron’s pace increased, and he thrust into Jonah with greater force, taking Jonah higher with each plunge.
Oh, God, I’m going to come again.
Jonah’s breath came faster, and he felt light-headed and dizzy. He heard himself pleading with God, with Aaron….

Aaron gripped his cock firmly and squeezed. Another stroke, and Jonah came undone.

“Aaron. Oh, God. Aaron.” Jonah threw his head back and shot pearly ropes of cum on his lover’s chest. Lost in sensation, he was barely aware of Aaron’s harsh cry as he found his own release and collapsed on top of him.

Hot tears came to his eyes, and Jonah wrapped his legs around Aaron’s waist. He hung on for dear life, unable to understand what he was feeling. Never before had he felt so close to someone. Surely something so special and beautiful had to be sanctioned by God.

Aaron nuzzled his neck and whispered in his ear. “You okay?”

“Don’t know. I think we need do it again.”

Aaron chuckled. “And again. And again….”

Sweaty and breathless, they stayed that way for long minutes, and then Aaron tumbled them over sideways so Jonah’s chest was pressed against Aaron’s back.

“I should go,” Jonah finally said.

Aaron kept his arms tightly wrapped around Jonah’s body. “You don’t have to. You can stay the night if you want.”

Jonah wasn’t sure what he wanted. The wonderful intimacy he’d experienced with Aaron made him desire things that were impossible. Jonah had wandered too far from his faith to ever be as devout as Aaron. Spiritually they were worlds apart, and in time that would ruin their physical connection. It would be best to end things before that happened. But it seemed his body had other ideas. Dreamy and lethargic, he felt his eyes flutter shut.

J
ONAH
WOKE
before dawn. The room was still dark, and for a minute he didn’t know where he was. Then he smelled the scent of sex lingering in the air and heard Aaron softly snoring beside him. The man was truly beautiful. Inside and out. Jonah intended to sneak out before Aaron awoke, but he propped himself on an elbow and allowed himself a few minutes to study the sleeping man. Aaron slept on his back, in a wide sprawl of limbs. His long dark lashes fanned out over chiseled cheekbones. Jonah longed to kiss those soft lips again, but he feared waking the other man. Instead, he looked his fill at Aaron’s lean, compact body.

Jonah smiled to himself. When had he ever found it so interesting to watch somebody sleep?

His eyes were drawn to the dark curls adorning Aaron’s chest, and trailing lower, to the wiry bush surrounding his flaccid cock. Somehow Jonah’s fingers found their way to his own cock, and he gave it a tug, remembering how Aaron’s dick looked fully erect and pounding into him. His thumb rubbed the head of his cock, while his other hand cupped his balls. His breathing became short and shallow, and he forced himself to stop before it was too late.

Sighing, he tore his gaze from Aaron and glanced around the room for his clothes. Ah, they were on the floor. He should get going before Aaron woke. In his head, Jonah pictured an awkward morning after, and he didn’t relish it. He turned back for one last look—

And Aaron was looking back at him with a sly smile on his beautiful face. “Good morning,” he said softly. He glanced down at Jonah’s hand, still gripping his dick. “Starting without me?”

“Oh” was all Jonah could manage. Suddenly shy, he moved his hands from his cock to his thighs. “I meant to leave before you woke up,” Jonah told him.

“I’m glad you didn’t.” Aaron reached for him. He ran his fingers over Jonah’s balls, making him gasp. “I thought we’d shower, and then I’ll make breakfast—”

“I need to get home.”

“Why?” Aaron looked confused. He reached over and touched Jonah’s cheek, tracing the stubble on his jaw.

“It won’t work.”